A few years ago I wrote a list of things I wanted to do with my life. Some were big (travel somewhere I'd never been, learn a second language), and some were small (read 30 books in a year, run a 10K).

Looking at that list recently, I realized something strange. I didn't fail at most of them. I just stopped. No dramatic moment where I decided it wasn't for me. Life got busy, the goal slid down the priority list, and eventually I forgot I'd ever cared.

That got me thinking about the difference between goals we outgrow and goals we abandon by accident. Some goals deserve to die because we changed. Others are still sitting there, waiting for us to notice.

Here's the test I'm trying: for each forgotten goal, I ask myself, "If someone handed me this achievement tomorrow, would I be thrilled or indifferent?" If I'd be thrilled, it's worth reviving. If indifferent, I let it go without guilt.

Out of my old list, three passed the test, and I'm picking the smallest one to restart this week.

I'd love to hear from you:

1. What's a goal you quietly dropped?
2. Does it still pass the "would I be thrilled?" test?
3. What's one tiny step you could take this week to revive it?

Let's hold each other accountable. Drop your answers below and come back in a month to report how it went. 🎯

I am 19 i had a shitshow of a life till now now i have gotten a ok college how can i plan in my 20s to have a glow up . I have started doing skin care and eating clean i have a skinny fat body type no girlfriend and i am naive person

Have you ever heard that you need to die in order to be reborn while still alive?

Not every life-changing decision has to be dramatic. Sometimes, it’s learning a useful skill, becoming more disciplined with your time, or finally doing something you’ve been putting off for years.

I’m curious about the small, realistic goals people are working toward that could make a big difference over time. It doesn’t have to be about money, career success, or achieving something impressive. It could simply be becoming more confident, building healthier habits, or creating a life that feels more peaceful.

What’s one goal you’re pursuing right now that your future self might thank you for?

Epictetus used archery to make a point about goal setting that still holds up. He said an archer's actual goal was never to hit the target, it was to draw the bow correctly, aim carefully, and release well. Hitting the target was the natural result of doing those things right, but it was never fully guaranteed, wind could shift, the target could move, something outside the archer's control could still throw the shot off. His argument was that if you build your sense of success entirely around hitting the target, you've tied your goal to something that was never completely yours to control in the first place. The better version of the goal is the part you actually own, the form, the aim, the release. A lot of the goals people set for themselves are built the same way the target is, get the job, get the relationship, hit the number, and all of those depend on other people and circumstances doing their part too. That doesn't mean the targets don't matter or that you shouldn't aim at them, it just means the goal that's actually yours to keep or lose is the process behind the aim, not the outcome itself. What's a goal you reframed at some point, not by giving up on the outcome, but by shifting what you were actually measuring yourself against?

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Today, while going through some notes and articles, I came across a piece titled How to Write Clearly.

What I read was interesting and useful for any writer. But then I realized that the same principles could also apply to living our lives.

First, you must be clear about what you want to do with your life.

Make an outline of your life's objectives. What do you want, and what can you realistically achieve?

Just as you create headings and subheadings when writing, do the same for your life.

Call it Smooth Ride Through My Life.

Look at the lives of your parents and grandparents. Their experiences may offer clues about what lies ahead for you. Although everyone's life is different, many of us go through similar stages and face similar challenges.

Childhood, adulthood, old age — these are the stages of life we must prepare for as we move forward.

Marriage, children, a home, food, a job, a business, travel, health, and many other responsibilities are part of the journey for many of us.

Make an outline of these aspects of life. If you have already experienced some of them, think about the ones that remain. What do you want to achieve? What should you prepare for? What might you need to change?

Plan your life, review your plans, and make adjustments as you go.

Remember, this is not a piece of writing that other people will necessarily read. It is your life — a book you will not only read but also experience, page by page.

And life has its own way of teaching us. Sometimes, it gives us an examination first and the lesson afterward.

Do not expect others to write your life for you. Take responsibility for shaping it. Write your own story, live it, and make adjustments along the way.

You are the author of this book, the director of its unfolding story, and the actor who plays the leading role. You are also the person who experiences every success, disappointment, and lesson.

Research carefully. Learn from others, especially those who have travelled further along the road than you have. Consider their advice, but remember that no one knows your circumstances as well as you do.

Trust your instincts, but let experience, knowledge, and reason guide your decisions.

After all, this is your book. You are writing it while living it.

This method takes inspiration from the old trusted zipper. The individual teeth of a zipper are impossible to rip open, but the pull separates them with little to no effort.

Life is often like the zipper. Each pair of teeth represents a step or a challenge that we must overcome on that path.

What holds many people back is that they are trying to separate teeth far further down the path than where their pull is at the moment.

This is especially true with ambitious people who find it difficult to create momentum.

Imagine you're an entrepreneurial student with no experience in running a business - just the theory you learned in school. You want to start your own company, so you do what seems logical: create a prototype and start looking for clients.

What you fail to see is that the pull isn't positioned at where you want to separate the teeth.

You struggle with finding clients, your fulfillment is poor, and over all there's a lot of resistance anywhere you go.

And ultimately you feel like it's not meant for you - that you're not built for it.

What you fail to see, however, is that what you're trying to do is a few steps further on the path than where you are standing right now. It's like you were trying to go directly from 40 kg to 70 kg in bench press.

There's generally two reasons we tend to do this:

1. We were told to "just go for it" and not doubt ourselves. While this is generally a positive mindset, it fails to address what type of progress is attainable. In fact, telling someone to show up at the gym consistently is much more constructive advice than telling them they can lift any weight they want.

2. There's something at a lower level that we want to skip or ignore. It might be inflated ego: "I'm too good for that" or simply desire to get to a desired outcome fast. At times we might have a pressure: I must sell quick or I'm gonna be screwed.

The thing is, you can't skip steps on your path. You must have lifted 40 kg before you can lift 45 kg. The steps that lead to progress form a stairway that you can walk upwards.

Each step in itself is attainable from the current level you're on. But trying to skip few steps beyond, and you'll find yourself climbing a hill.

So here's how you can put this into practice:

1. Look at your life and progress from an objective perspective. Ask yourself "where am I currently?" Avoid being overly optimistic or pessimistic. Acknowledge your achievments, but don't put them out of proportion.

2. Ask the question: "What's the natural next step that takes the least effort right now?" What kind of step can I take that takes me to the next step right now?

3. Keep repeating this over and over. Be mindful about where you're standing.

Once you start applying this, you will soon realize that you'll progress much faster than before.

You might have been stagnant in your past, barely making any progress. You might have spent hours on trying to get one step ahead. It might have taken you years to make the smallest progress.

Following this process you can find yourself taking new steps weekly if not even daily.

What makes this brilliant is that it doesn't change the goal. You will still get where you're going. It simply changes how you're trying to get there.

You're walking the stairs instead of trying to climb a hill. Or using the analogy we started with: pulling the zipper open instead of trying to separate the teeth with brute force.

Hello there.

This might be quite off topic or not important to any of you but I’m desperately seeking advice and guidance.

I’m an 18 year old man and I have so many aspirations and things I want to accomplish, business wise and life wise but I think they go hand in hand. I want to become very successful, build something memorable, create and run a business, have a legacy, be a man of conviction like millions of others in my age but I feel stuck, I have the drive or I want to believe I do, I have the vision, I have the desire, but I can’t seem to do anything and it’s stressing me out because time is of the essence even if I’m ”only” 18.

I’m stuck in this deep state of analysis paralysis.
I’m seeking advice from anyone but someone who may have been in this same situation or similar and has become something they can be very proud of.

I keep to myself quite a lot as I believe I thrive mostly on my own space and that’s where I also end up thinking a lot about my future. I believe that if I have a concrete plan I can execute but something is keeping me from doing anything. As said I’m stuck in some sort of paralysis where I can’t seem to start. I know I can accomplish something small or big if I know what to do as I’ve done something similar before and became accomplished. It’s quite difficult for me to explain how I’m feeling or what I’m trying to really convey but I did my best for the moment.

In summary I don’t want to spend my life trying to do something and ending up not doing anything because I just get the feeling that I can’t. I want to be proud of who I’m going to become, create something that I can overview and say damn i really did something for myself, I’m doing very well.

I know this is very chaotically written I just had to get my thoughts into perspective and try to word it out as best I could.

Thank you.

Abhi toh bs survat hai aagya dekho kya kya hota hai j