Sometimes love can be found right under your comment section!

[u/HarshitaS]

most wholesome thing I saw all week

[u/tracy_ogbert_jordan]

If you make an effort and look in the mirror and still hate what you see then why bother.

beyond that, if you don't make an effort, then people can't make fun of your failed attempt at looking decent.

self-esteem issues are a real motherfucker

[u/Skellyinsideofme → u/tracy_ogbert_jordan]

Yes, this is what happened to me when I injured myself and suddenly gained a lot of weight, after previously having a conventionally 'fit' body.

It didn't take long for me to stop doing a lot of my self care, and stop trying to wear nice clothes.

If I hadn't tried to look nice, then I couldn't have failed in looking nice.

It's a horrible place to be and it can be difficult to climb out of that hole.

[u/Suzuiscool → u/tracy_ogbert_jordan]

I never really gave it much thought but that's basically why I don't bother.

[u/nuuren → u/Suzuiscool]

I was the same, until I bothered a tiny bit, I kinda liked it, and bothered some more, and now I'm quite okay with myself.

Idk, give it a smol try sometime. Finding something you like and rolling with it is kinda nice tbh.

[u/Candle1ight → u/nuuren]

Health and cleanliness makes you feel better regardless of your looks. Taking a shower and wearing clean clothes feels good, working out feels good, losing weight feels good, etc.

When it comes to fashion though? Trying on different clothes and realizing that I hate myself in all of them just makes me want to blow my brains out. My fashion will always be shit.

[u/Adventurous_Click178 → u/Candle1ight]

Find a brand/style of jeans you like. Buy them in 2-3 shades (I like light, medium, and black.) Then get half a dozen crisp, clean cotton t-shirts that fit in colors you prefer. Get 1 pair of sharp sneakers. You’ll be good.

[u/nuuren → u/Candle1ight]

Fashion as a general, universal statement is shit, no doubt. I just hope there's something that you allow yourself to wear and be happy in, no matter what others think (which is how it always should be, anyway)

[u/Candle1ight → u/nuuren]

Plain shirts, shorts, jeans. I don't know about happy in, but they don't make me look like a slob and they're pretty boring so I don't feel like I'm standing out.

It's a bit of a shame because I have no problem recognizing how good some people look with how they dress, but I have a revulsion to apply it to myself. But I'm at a place where it doesn't seriously bother me so I'm pretty happy with that.

[u/AnAnGrYSupportV2 → u/Candle1ight]

From one random internet stranger to another. I'm glad to hear you're in at the very least, an okay place.

[u/Canotic → u/Suzuiscool]

Can't fail if you don't try.

[u/eitherajax → u/Suzuiscool]

That was my mindset too, all throughout my teens and early twenties. I was too embarrassed to make an effort and pretended that I didn't care about clothes, hairstyling, or makeup. I wanted to look bad because I didn't care, not because I was ugly.

 It turns out that grooming and proper fitting clothing makes a huge positive difference in how you appear to yourself and others. I look miles better now than I did before.

I still catch myself thinking that I can't buy certain things because I will still look ugly anyway. Just this week I talked myself out of buying a lipstick because even if it looks pretty on the model it wouldn't look pretty on me.

[u/beccam12399 → u/Suzuiscool]

start bothering yolo

[u/Snerpahsnerr → u/tracy_ogbert_jordan]

That was me in high school. I pretended I hated makeup because I was too scared if I tried it and I wound up still being ugly that I wouldn’t be able to tell myself I’d be pretty if I tried. Luckily I’m way better about taking care of myself mentally and physically now

[u/Worried_Platypus93 → u/Snerpahsnerr]

I was worried it would look worse and pathetic if I tried because I would still look bad

[u/xrimane → u/tracy_ogbert_jordan]

Yeah, trying to polish a turd in vain feels ridiculous and like you're losing the last shred of dignity you have.

[u/Isabellake1 → u/tracy_ogbert_jordan]

i was stuck in a cycle like that, hating how i looked but also if i made effort to look nice and still hated how i looked it would completely crush me for days

[u/Candle1ight → u/Isabellake1]

The cycle of hope and crushing reality over and over wears the fuck out of you.

[u/Dralakbadusk → u/tracy_ogbert_jordan]

frfr, the only reason i started dressing better is because i found people that i was comfortable around and they genuinely cared and wanted to help me get better

[u/Rooney_Tuesday → u/tracy_ogbert_jordan]

God, I feel so seen. I have three older brothers who always mocked me regardless, but when I actually tried to experiment with looking cuter growing up the ugly insults got so much worse. I’m not actually ugly, never was. But I learned that I am, so I learned to dress down, wear baggy clothes, forego makeup, etc. I never got over it.

[u/SadInsomniac_ → u/tracy_ogbert_jordan]

This was me throughout high school

[u/cachorro-quente3000 → u/tracy_ogbert_jordan]

This This this