r/Music • u/Brucekentbatsuper • Sep 05 '26

article Beyonce Accused by Fans of a 'Disgusting Display of Greed' Over $948 'Empty' Pine Wood Box

https://www.ibtimes.co.uk/beyonce-backlash-948-bey-keeper-box-bday-anniversary-1818055
13.6k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

1.2k comments sorted by

View all comments

2.0k

u/GoodIntroduction6344 Sep 05 '26

Pass.

2.0k

u/SniperPoro Sep 05 '26

Jesus, I made one of those in 8th grade

455

u/Fingeredagain Sep 05 '26

I bet a bunch of 13-14 year olds made the Beyonce ones as well.

389

u/LolaCatStevens Sep 05 '26

Where's your hideous thin black leather handle that would never work if it was full of heavy records?

148

u/Individual_Act_2612 Sep 05 '26

I believe you mean faux gator leather. As if it couldn’t get even worse.

44

u/lite_Historian_6125 Sep 05 '26

the faux alligator strap is the rancid maraschino cherry on top

6

u/FallenWaifu Sep 06 '26

Oh my god you’re right, bro it literally looks like a kid carved that pattern with a butter knife.

2

u/External_Gold5379 Sep 06 '26

Yeah, it’s wild how much they’re charging for something that’s basically just a fancy container. Feels like a massive cash grab.

2

u/dendrophilix Sep 06 '26

I feel like the strap might hold. The flimsy hardware, on the other hand…

105

u/Famous1107 Sep 06 '26

I made this the other day. Any takers?

69

u/Sabin10v2 Sep 06 '26

Jesus tittyfucking christ, that things gotta be worth at least $4000

13

u/Pythagoras_314 Sep 06 '26

Looks like it needs some more sanding on the inside but otherwise I'd take that 100% lol

9

u/1000YearMonkey Sep 06 '26

As someone who works with wood on occasion (albeit I am using reclaimed wood from pallets to make a small fence, and don't have any pics of any of my previous work so my opinion probably means squat) yours looks better then the Beyonce one

2

u/Famous1107 Sep 06 '26

My work here is done.

1

u/PandaRaper Sep 06 '26

Thanks now I have slivers.

1

u/Mpoboy Sep 06 '26

Just price it as your birthday like she did

1

u/octopiLa last.fm Sep 06 '26

How many color variants of my vinyls will fit in there……Will it hold all of my grailz??????

1

u/Lunakill Sep 06 '26

Yours looks better than the Beyoncé one. I would 100% buy wooden stuff from you based on your pic

2

u/Famous1107 Sep 06 '26

Thanks friend. Made my day.

1

u/SwimmingNo5186 Sep 07 '26

Me! I love it!

1

u/Soundsgreat1978 Sep 07 '26

How many Beyonces will it fit?

75

u/My_hairy_pussy Sep 05 '26

You idiot. I would have paid 900 bucks for that. Guess my money goes to Beyonce, then.

1

u/ProjectDv2 Sep 06 '26

Stop playing, you don't have any money

18

u/Dolphin_King21 Sep 05 '26

Sell it for 948 dollars

1

u/_BLACKHAWKS_88 Sep 06 '26

+.18c.. Don’t forget the change.. saw a post from someone that bought it and the total was like $1050 after taxes and shipping. The shop also tacks on about $60 bucks for shipping which you would think would be free.

6

u/thebuckmanguy69 Sep 05 '26

Jesus was a carpenter after all

2

u/soda_cookie Sep 06 '26

Lmfao I was just about to comment "I'll bet you could show this to a random reddit or and it could be replicated in a matter of hours". I didn't think if be off by negative years

2

u/biggobird Sep 06 '26

Yours looks better 

2

u/Tarantula_Saurus_Rex Sep 05 '26

Yours is awesome though!

1

u/FormerTesseractPilot Sep 06 '26

Why do you still have it?

1

u/le_gazman Sep 06 '26

At least you bothered to varnish yours.

1

u/SuckMyRedditorD Sep 06 '26

Now you just need a room full of grammys and major record deals, tours and a lot of song hits. You'll then understand.

1

u/RedJive Sep 06 '26

It holds dreams! Very nice

1

u/houseWithoutSpoons Sep 06 '26

Gotta be honest not really. Yeah its a box but i will give her at least the box is nice .look im not even anything close to a Beyonce fan.but the box is or appears to be well made.its maybe worth 100 bucks or so. Nowhere near 1k..but like they saying goes a fool and his money

1

u/Medium_Educator1983 Sep 06 '26

That’s actually impressive.

1

u/gigilero Sep 06 '26

Yours looks like nicer wood tbh

1

u/Top-Manner7261 Sep 06 '26

Well it's worth close to $1000 now

1

u/GetCelested Sep 09 '26

Man you can probably trade that for an oz of weed

1

u/Infierno3007 Sep 13 '26

At least you stained yours.

1

u/mrpopenfresh Sep 06 '26

You made $958 in 8th grade?

378

u/Brass_and_Frass Sep 05 '26

Dude thanks for posting a photo. I actually scrolled that horrid ad-riddled page just trying to find a photo of the damn box.

235

u/longbathlover Sep 05 '26

Pissed me off SO BADLY that there was no photo of the box but 5 photos of Beyonce, who I already have seen before 😂😭 Journalism is dead

49

u/Xatsman Sep 06 '26

Probably LLM written and assembled. Can't rely on it to include a photo of the right box, so whoever made the prompt probably didn't bother trying.

Why should we want to read something no one bothered to write? These big legacy publications really want us to turn to the emerging alternatives.

19

u/beardeddragon0113 Sep 06 '26

Just wait until we get AI generated summaries of AI generated articles... /s 🫠

3

u/hates_stupid_people Sep 06 '26

I'm asuming the /s is because that's already been happening for a while?

1

u/madonna-boy Sep 07 '26

we already do... they've been in the comments for years masquerading as "users"

2

u/SonderEber Sep 06 '26

Nah, seems like typical human slop that’s been around for years. These sort of clickbait articles have been around since long before AI.

Don’t immediately blame on AI that which could’ve easily been made by humans. Never forget, humans made slop first and we shouldn’t stop considering that. Both AI and humans are equally capable of slop.

1

u/hyeran_jainros_fc 17d ago

Quote from latest article by the 'author' actually relates to business. It shows zero understanding of what they talk about:

For bullish investors, the timing of the announcement is significant. Nvidia's forward price-to-earnings multiple has been compressing since August 2024, even as revenue and earnings have surged on AI demand.

Higher earnings = inherently lower multiple

12

u/May_of_Teck Sep 06 '26

“who I have already seen before” has killed me 😆

1

u/hyeran_jainros_fc 17d ago edited 16d ago

This slop 'article' is getting a ton of traffic via this post. The author seems to have a Filipino name. They cover an insane range of global clickbait and US politics for a UK site. They do exactly 4 articles every day on random celebrity/gossip stuff, politics, and the latest surprise: stocks.

Gotta be AI, and I wouldn't trust a human on this random ahh portfolio of 'coverage.' This is why I don't like how reddit devolved 🚽 into reposting links

123

u/Doraborealiss Sep 05 '26

The fact that it’s to celebrate the 20 year anniversary of B’Day’s release and doesn’t even include the commemorative record is so funny to me. Gotta buy that separately!

61

u/final_cut Sep 06 '26

Especially considering I bought a B'Day on amazon for 30 bucks, and that thing even washes our asses.

3

u/vivid_wallflower Sep 06 '26

I love you now

2

u/final_cut Sep 06 '26

Thanks! <3

1

u/QuesoChef Sep 06 '26

Just billionaires doing billionaire things. This is why I can’t be a super fan of anyone. I can only bring myself to like things with a cynical side eye because most people are greed monsters.

159

u/Ickulus Sep 05 '26

That's not even nice dovetails. The least they could do is nice joinery on the box.

100

u/Strange_Cheetah_4746 Sep 05 '26

It’s so weird to make that much money as a business and cut corners like this, like you easily could have found some extremely talented artist to make these, and done really high quality work to justify the cost. And be content selling to your celebrity level fans or your wealthiest, you’re already alienating your poorer fans, but you aren’t even appealing to your rich fans with the quality. It’s mainly going to be bought by people who can’t afford it but are super fans or people who just buy it for a status symbol, so I guess for them does it even matter. And also she makes so much money what the fuck is the point of making this an income stream. Without a sort of quality control to it. Your brand is so big protecting it as high quality should be the most
Important thing. Sometimes I wish I still did music industry work and artist management.

78

u/superbhole Sep 05 '26

the least they could do is nice joinery

weird to make that much money as a business and cut corners like this

...heh...

36

u/smarmageddon Sep 06 '26

Yeah, those 2 comments dovetail nicely into each other...

4

u/JectorDelan Sep 06 '26

More nicely than on that box, anyhow.

2

u/cajunfid Sep 06 '26

I found the fellow woodworkers in the chat. I followed the wood puns 😆

1

u/smarmageddon Sep 06 '26

Why wood you do that? You mitre made a mistake.

11

u/tonyhwko Sep 05 '26

Makes me sad when exclusive deluxe versions come out that I get priced out of, never anything celebrity related, I'm talking about Faber Castell limited edition sets that cost over 2000.

But it made me appreciate that this piece of crap can't make anyone sad for having missed out on.

6

u/May_of_Teck Sep 06 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/1zkMe8XdHPb1Fm0V4h
Fellow sufferer of prohibitively priced art supplies ✊

2

u/calpi Sep 06 '26

That's the secret. They don't actually plan to sell tons of these. And the whole run can probably be covered by a couple sales, even if they end up with a shit ton of waste. Then if they don't sell, they can sell it as tat after removing the handles on Temu or something if they need to. Assuming it's not more economical to just throw the shit away.

It's literally garbage which they're trying to flog on idiot fans.

1

u/New_new_account2 Sep 06 '26

machine cut dovetails and box joints really aren't that much different from a production standpoint

it's not at all going to result in a functional difference

it's just an aesthetic choice

4

u/Chillpill411 Sep 05 '26

It's not dovetails because you use dovetails only when other, simpler forms of joinery won't work. The box in the op ... Is literally... Box joints, and that's the correct form of joinery for a box

2

u/opeth10657 Sep 06 '26

You also use dovetails for decorative stuff, which this is.

1

u/Chillpill411 Sep 06 '26

You sure can. But I can see why the craftsman didn't, aside from it being unnecessary. You have the parallel lines of the wood grain, the squareness of the box, and the parallel lines of the box joint all in harmony. 

1

u/sweetwaterblue Sep 06 '26

Not even actual dovetails, but box joint.

61

u/BlackedoutJT Sep 05 '26

bruh, what is this beginner woodworking 101 ass box

1

u/dendrivertigo Sep 06 '26

I built one like this back in high school 😂

26

u/TheRecognized Sep 05 '26

Which is what any buyer of the 500 available boxes could have done as soon as they saw the picture.

13

u/Sclog Sep 06 '26

They only made 500? Of course they did its like fake hype and i hate how much it works. Folks, Class has officially left the building, time to usher in the era of Mediocrity.

1

u/Badbullet Sep 06 '26

They probably just bought the lowest required quantity to buy several pallets of boxes from Alibaba.

18

u/steamliner88 Sep 05 '26

This is the box? It looks like a shitty IKEA product.

29

u/Allys_Phantom Sep 06 '26

IKEA would look better than this. This looks like something from Hobby Lobby.

2

u/madonna-boy Sep 07 '26

it would have been $10 or less at Hobby Lobby

3

u/OldSchoolSpyMain Sep 06 '26

Don’t bring IKEA into this.

10

u/Simmonetheartist Sep 05 '26

The fact that it has a purse-like handle is sending me

Like what is this for..? 😭

2

u/Lunar-opal Sep 06 '26

Look it comes with a strap

2

u/FayeQueen Sep 06 '26

Looks like the box you get when you cremate your dog at a fancier vet.

1

u/Rathalos-487 Sep 05 '26

Oh for a sec I thought the title meant a coffin.

1

u/FuzzeWuzze Sep 06 '26

Lol bee keepers give these away for free basically.

1

u/FallenWaifu Sep 06 '26

Bruh. I made that in my carpentry class give it backkkkkk

1

u/Mr_MacGrubber Rock & Roll Sep 06 '26

Better than the decor places selling fucking pine logs as end tables for several hundred dollars.

1

u/TheLesserWeeviI Sep 06 '26

Is it fucking April Fools Day or something?

1

u/BobbyTables829 Sep 06 '26

Not even dovetailed joins lmao

1

u/Jazzremix Sep 06 '26

I can smell that thing. Cheap lacquer. Like when you order a really cheap shelf from amazon

1

u/jdoggsoxfan33 Sep 06 '26

what is that on top of the lid?

1

u/piketpagi Sep 06 '26

What the fuck it jas supposed to be?! Picnic basket? A box you put personal items when fired in a office?

1

u/nightwing0243 Sep 06 '26

I saw this pic before I saw it in the articles.

I actually thought you were taking the piss. But oh my god…

1

u/Jor94 Sep 06 '26

Looks look some drop shipped crap that cost $5 from Ali Express

1

u/pattyG80 Sep 06 '26

Not even dove tailed

1

u/xsavexmexjebus Sep 06 '26

At least they put her butthole imprint on the top?

1

u/Choice-Quantity-6167 Sep 06 '26

It's not even dovetailed. Lazy-ass finger joints.

1

u/mahboilucas Sep 06 '26

It's the same vibe as the Zara Home rock.

1

u/ntriggerty Sep 07 '26

Hahahahah that is amazing and ridiculous

1

u/Alert_Occasion_5806 Sep 06 '26 edited Sep 06 '26

They said no album collection set, apparel, or Cecred products in the wood box crate but a bee carving on the lid will do🤣

1

u/PublicPalpitation618 Sep 05 '26

What? That’s like 10 bucks on Temu..

1

u/Intrepid_Cap1242 Sep 05 '26

Agreed. Even if she farted in it, it's not sealed