(Hated Trope) Autism is the best thing ever

[u/MeepMan324]

1. Because of her autism, music's worldview is really innocent and positive with bright colours and these stupid dances whilst in real life she gets chocked out by her "caretaker" (Music)

2. Most videos Dhar Mann has on autism have them being these really smart people that solve a test or a spelling bee or win a competition

[u/Darkbert550]

Agreed. I have autism, and I most definitely do like it and would rather be autistic than neurotypical… but there are BIG struggles. It’s not all sunshine and rainbows for us.

[u/kulupu_kasi_seli → u/Darkbert550]

Agreed. I think it actively worsens my life, but I couldn’t imagine living a fulfilling life without it.

[u/Darkbert550 → u/kulupu_kasi_seli]

I am incredibly sorry if this is insensitive, but I keep seeing so many people saying that autism actively worsens their lives. I, personally… haven’t really experienced that. To me, it’s always been a net positive, or net neutral. Autism definitely makes a few things worse for me… but most things go better thanks to it.
So the question is… in what ways does it do that? (Sorry if it’s a bit too private).

[u/kulupu_kasi_seli → u/Darkbert550]

I can’t interact with people and my hyperfixations damage my relationships. It’s definitely not insensitive if it doesn’t worsen your life, though, that’s not a diagnostic requirement for autism afaik and I’m certainly not the kind of person to gatekeep stuff like that behind misery. I’m just happy for you that you like having it :3

[u/Darkbert550 → u/kulupu_kasi_seli]

Ah. I’m really sorry for you, in that case. I hope that you’ll find someone that doesn’t mind the hyperfixations some day!

[u/4k-Gaming → u/kulupu_kasi_seli]

Same here

[u/empath_viv → u/Darkbert550]

Yeah this is how I feel. I wouldn't want to change because I like the weird shit I do but it's not all a barrel of laughs

[u/Darkbert550 → u/empath_viv]

Mhm. I mean, I LIKE having hyperfixations. I LIKE sometimes acting weird, because it makes others laugh. Most of my autistic traits are either a positive or neutral thing to me, really. There’s a few negative big ones… but I am learning to cope with them. They do make my life harder when they surface, especially lately (though right now is a very… unique situation), but i still wouldn’t throw it away.

[u/empath_viv → u/Darkbert550]

I really like getting super into stuff because people tend to say they like how passionate I get about describing it. That stuff is very fun to me. For me the part I could leave is the finding it genuinely very difficult to ascertain other people's meanings and intentions if they're not surface level, that one sucks

[u/Darkbert550 → u/empath_viv]

Exactly. I LOVE specialising. Just like you, it’s just… fun. To be REALLY good at one thing. But yeah, my family especially gets frustrated often by me asking for more clarity when they say something.

[u/empath_viv → u/Darkbert550]

It does feel bad when you can tell someone is irritated already and they say a bunch of stuff that has to get done (for example) and then you go wait time out what do you mean by that. But it's like if I don't clarify I'll do the wrong thing so what do you want from me here

[u/Darkbert550 → u/empath_viv]

Yeah… that’s caused a lot of fights between me and my family, especially my mom.

[u/empath_viv → u/Darkbert550]

People think it's just being difficult or annoying but it's like no. Mf I'm trying to accomplish the task that you want done so much it's not my fault your language is imprecise

[u/Darkbert550 → u/empath_viv]

Yeah. “Clean up the kitchen” how am I supposed to know where YOUR phone, YOUR bag, and a bunch of things I’ve never seen before go? Do they stay? Go?

[u/empath_viv → u/Darkbert550]

And I literally WANT to get the task done so this stops being a problem but YOU aren't giving me the information to make it happen frictionlessly! It's maddening

[u/flyingfoxtrot_ → u/empath_viv]

Yeah, I have mixed feelings. I do like having special interests. They may well be "narrow, restricted and intense" according to the proper diagnostic wording, but they bring me an unbelievable amount of joy. I do not enjoy missing social cues or how little it takes for me to burn out or my strong issue with textures and smells. Side note, I was only officially diagnosed on Saturday because of how much I mask. It was a huge relief to finally have proof that I'm not just weird or weak or broken.

[u/Scaalpel → u/Darkbert550]

It's a real case-by-case crapshoot, especially if you factor in the possible comorbidities. If you win the genetic (and maybe societal?) lottery it can be a net win but if you don't... hooo, boy.