Introduction
I learned about BLW from J. Kenji Lopez-Alt, who presented it as a book to read rather than a hashtag. While my wife was pregnant, we bought and read Gill Rapley's “Baby-Led Weaning.” We have now weaned two children following BLW, The book was the only resource we used, and both of us felt well-enough equipped that we never needed anything else.
It seems to me that many of the complaints or struggles people post about on this sub are products of an approach to weaning that comes from social media, rather than Baby-Led Weaning. In my opinion, BLW makes for pretty terrible social media. "I'm having fajitas, so my baby is chewing on a couple pieces of bell pepper" isn't super interesting, and you can't make a full day's content out of it. I think a lot of people would find more success steering away from the social media trends and fully embracing BLW.
I’ve noted six trends that I feel are common on social media, and contrasted them with quotes from “Baby-Led Weaning.”
Trend #1 - Made-to-Order Meals
Influencers preparing elaborate meals specifically for their children is probably the biggest gulf between social media and BLW. One of the fundamental assumptions of BLW is that you are eating the same meal as your child. Sharing meals is a great way to encourage babies to try new food. It can help lower stress by distracting parents away from micromanaging their baby’s meal. And for my money, the best reason to share meals was that it’s easier than cooking two different meals.
"Baby-led weaning babies are included in family mealtimes from the start, eating the same food and joining in the social time." ("Baby-Led Weaning," page 23)
“Normal, healthy family foods can be adapted easily so that your baby can manage them, so there’s no need to buy or prepare special foods” (p. 63)
Trend #2 - Mountains at Mealtime
A full plate of food looks appealing to most adults, but that doesn't make it right for your baby. There’s no need to give them more than they can eat or give them more ammunition when they’re in a throwing mood. And even when our kids could eat significant amounts, sometimes the full plate was still overwhelming and they needed the pieces a few at a time.
“Many babies can be overwhelmed by too much choice and too much quantity in the early stages. Some push all food away, others focus on one piece of food and throw everything off the high tray; some simply turn away.” (p. 71)
Trend #3 - Clean Plate Kids
Many posts here ask if their kids are eating enough, because they see babies on social media eating more. Our kids took 6-8 weeks to start consuming any measurable amount of food. We expected that going in and never felt stressed by it, but if your feed is full of 6-month-olds who supposedly eat an entire hamburger, your opinion might be influenced.
“Eating very little and playing a lot.” (p. 70)
“Don’t expect your baby to eat much food at first. She doesn’t suddenly need extra food because she reached six months.“ (p. 90)
Trend #4 - Mushy Methods
It seems to have become a standard recommendation that food should be cooked to the point of disintegration for BLW. Of course It’s important that foods be prepared in a safe way, but that doesn’t mean it’s all mush. Texture is important and enjoyable, and they can only learn to chew if given foods that need chewing. (Also, teeth are not needed for chewing, which should be obvious to anyone who’s gotten a bite from their kid’s gums.)
“If you are offering vegetables, bear in mind they shouldn’t be too soft (or they’ll turn to mush when your baby tries to handle them)” (p. 67)
Trend #5 - Practice with Purees
It seems that a large number of people combo feed purees, or use purees to "ease into solids." Starting with purees is very common, and has been the traditional approach to weaning for decades. However, spending time teaching your baby to eat purees isn't very helpful in moving them toward the ultimate goal of eating table food. Every child will need to learn to chew and swallow food at some point. Starting early takes advantage of the gag reflex being farther forward in the mouths. It also gets it out of the way sooner and doesn’t develop the habit of swallowing food without chewing.
“When babies start with BLW at six months they have a chance to experiment with food and develop self-feeding skills while all their nutrition is still coming from breast milk or formula. This means they can practice feeding themselves before they really need much food” (p. 93)
“You may find [...] that she gets frustrated because she can’t feed herself as fast as she wants to. Babies who have been spoon-fed can get used to swallowing large quantities of food quickly when they are hungry because pureed food doesn’t need to be chewed.” (p. 93)
Trend #6 - BLW Way or the Highway
Somewhat distressingly, people post here who feel like they have no choice but to do BLW. I loved doing BLW and wouldn't use another method if I had the choice, but it is still just one possible approach. Most Americans of my generation were puree fed, and it’s clearly possible to raise healthy, well-adjusted children on purees. Baby-led weaning jumps to self-feeding table food at 6 months. Traditional weaning starts offering solids around 9 months and has purees phased out around 12 months. Claiming that the 3 to 6 month period of BLW will determine a child’s life is obvious nonsense.
Conclusion
Everyone knows social media isn’t reality. And yet, it seems to have an outsized impact on people’s ideas of what BLW should look like. Basically, I think influencers are incentivized to make BLW look harder and more complicated than it really is, in order to generate enough content to keep their timelines full.
By-the-book BLW will not and cannot be perfect for everyone, but the book does predict and troubleshoot a surprising number of common problems that people have, In my view, the book is still underutilized and overshadowed by social media, to the point that people may not even be aware of how simple BLW can be.
