My love is the only “weird” one here, tbh. the first couple are quite common, especially depending on the area. that last one is not as common, but still used in places like the American south and uk. this one is only “weird” because people tend to use it when more familiar, but still plenty of especially older women just say it. all of them though are used gender neutrally - i got them all when i was masquerading as a cis man, id actually say i got the first couple more as a man than i have as a woman.
i think we (ESPECIALLY us trans people) need to remember language and idioms and whatnot are different for everyone everywhere and that malicious intent more often than not isnt there. if you dont like it just gotta tell them, if they get weird about it THEN theres issues. reminder too, these are literally all gender neutral.
Nah, very common in the north of England, and I expect many other places in the UK.
"Alright, my love?" is used all the time, and usually not between family or anyone intimate.
Yeah, cultural thing. In the UK my love/love are just common parts of speech used by people you are both intimately familiar with and staff in the places you frequent. You'd have to be quite posh an' all to bother with saying my love to your partner, my love is usually something pub landladies call everyone indiscriminately.
Nah, here in Scotland I've heard My love a couple times too. I don't think that's necessarily weird either, it's kind of cute to be called that by older ladies. I did start using some of those for my friends in Germany, and they found it a bit weird, so it is apparently a cultural difference. But it's definetely very gender neutral, yeah!
Yeah, as a cis person I hate to be "that" guy but i've been called all of these by both men and women.
Of course it can have a more negative connotation when men do this to women compared to what I experienced, but for a lot of people its just as natural as saying "dude" or "bro"
Yeah, as a cis person I hate to be "that" guy but i've been called all of these by both men and women.
Honestly, I think us trans people need to hear that more - especially the younger ones. A lot of things some of us trans people think only happens to us (and/or is phobic) happens to cis people all the time. Bad healthcare/doctors being another example, where trans people think it's our doctors sucking but it really is an healthcare industry-wide issue.
Have you ever wondered how trans people in Newcastle deal with being called "man" by everyone? Regardless of AMAB and AFAB, everyone willl still say 'man' lol
It's the same with "dude" in my area - men and women, cis and trans, get called dude. Some like me are fine with it, others hate it. It all depends on the person, to say something like "dude" can only be ever meant in a gendered way is not correct.
And that's why people need to stop and think more got a moment. For you and others it is perfectly fine, for others it is weird because it is used mostly in a romantic sense. Language and idioms are different within the same country and don't always mean what you thinkl, I'm not sure why people think otherwise.
87
u/ThatKehdRiley Aug 28 '26 edited Aug 28 '26
My love is the only “weird” one here, tbh. the first couple are quite common, especially depending on the area. that last one is not as common, but still used in places like the American south and uk. this one is only “weird” because people tend to use it when more familiar, but still plenty of especially older women just say it. all of them though are used gender neutrally - i got them all when i was masquerading as a cis man, id actually say i got the first couple more as a man than i have as a woman.
i think we (ESPECIALLY us trans people) need to remember language and idioms and whatnot are different for everyone everywhere and that malicious intent more often than not isnt there. if you dont like it just gotta tell them, if they get weird about it THEN theres issues. reminder too, these are literally all gender neutral.