r/comics • • 15h ago

OC [OC] Same thing?

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u/Van_Weezer 15h ago

It's an ongoing problem. No one agrees on what makes men attractive, even when hyper sexualized. Some people will point to Hugh Jackman on the cover of Good housekeeping as an example of a mans thirst trap. But that doesn't exactly feel equal to the kind of thirst traps we see with women.

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u/Big_Excitement_3551 15h ago

You honestly can’t really sexualise a man in the same way you can a woman in our current society

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u/Benjiimon 15h ago

I still appreciate the effort people put in to try and make men keep up.

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u/Gamer_G33k17 11h ago

Best way is to put a man in a thong that overly exagerates the bulge, make sure he has a big round butt, and make him buff.

I also like how Monster Hunter Wilds handled it. Basically, if they add bikini armor, both sexes can wear it AS bikini armor.

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u/cutezombiedoll 6h ago

Even that doesn’t quite hit the same mark if you look at what most people attracted to men tend to like.

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u/Gamer_G33k17 6h ago

Its the Dad Bod. Strong, but just enough fat to feel soft to hold and lay on

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u/cutezombiedoll 6h ago

I love dad bods but I know just as many people who prefer twinks.

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u/Drow_Femboy 3h ago

Tbh it's not that different from women. Dad bods are hot, twinks are hot, shredded dudes are hot. Just like thick women are hot, and petite women are hot, and muscular women are hot. Everybody's got different preferences.

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u/Lopsided-Farmer-9422 10h ago

From the perspective of predominantly male fanbases these tend to be catered too, male sexualisation is aspirational while female sexualisation is objectifying

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u/Rich_Music1640 15h ago

i feel like there are some methods but they revolve around nsfw methods or hair/vibe rather than actual parts

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u/Bombadilo_drives 9h ago

You absolutely can, and it's done regularly, it's just done in a completely different way. It's certainly not the obvious physical way of exaggerated features and skimpy outfits.

For example, my wife is watching a show called "The Sex Lives of College Girls", and one of the characters is the male coach of a women's soccer team. The women regularly yell things to him like "take your shirt off!" and reply "yes daddy!" when he asks them to do stuff, and it's played up for laughs.

Or recall that video of the fire alarm going off at the romance book convention. 4 male fire fighters entered the building to the catcalls of like 800 women and none of the video commenters batted an eye.

Of course, there are significant historical power differences to consider in this, and most of those men have never been made to feel physically unsafe by women in their lives.

I say all this out of concern as an uncle of young nephews. I don't spend a lot of time on the short form content socials, but there seems to be this pervasive theme that it's 100% okay to post aggressively thirsty comments about men, and to publicly judge men on their appearance.

It feels like popular culture learned nothing from the decades of girls and women struggling with body image issues and decided it's just fine to publicly comment on men's appearance

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u/Skirfir 7h ago

You honestly can’t really sexualise a man in the same way


it's just done in a completely different way.

So, you agree with them?

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u/Eric-Breaux 1h ago edited 54m ago

That's not equivalent to sexualization of the female body, because that's just men looking attractive. And the lack of as much visual arousal by the opposite sex from the same areas of the male body is just the opposite extreme of how much pressure females feel to look so sexy. It's not any better and certainly not as much sexualizing for males. Many men hate the visual sexual desire disparity and greater acceptance of being so revealing for females in the same settings than males have had for so long. That's a very passionate desire having been mismatched with the genders.

The same areas of the male body being as revealing is treated as more obscene, because fewer people wanting to see that makes it seem to them like men being more perverted and imposing. Men used to often wear crop tops, high shorts, and swim briefs before the 90's. Meanwhile decades before that women got acceptance of wearing butt showing swimwear, casual uncovered compression wear and the like, even in Christian gatherings, because of the principle that lust depends on the viewer. 

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u/Nearby-Weird9535 1h ago

> Men used to often wear crop tops, high shorts, and swim briefs before the 90's.

I honestly think the main reason this changed was normalization of gay men. And not even from a toxic/homophobic perspective (though maybe that too), but as a straight man you don't want to be gay-coded, just as a practical thing.

I think the stereotype about men being more 'visual' is true, men are more inclined to overtly sexualize based on image alone. Which going back to gay men is why they are more image-focused, and sort of co-opted revealing clothing

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u/Eric-Breaux 1h ago edited 53m ago

That's part of my gripe. Seeing that as automatically gay instead of just as normal for straight men to want to feel as attractive for our bodies and to feel more comfortable in warm weather. All men had to do was keep wearing that stuff and get as revealing as women had earlier, and it would have stayed normal to people for straight men too. Gay women wearing the same revealing things didn't scare straight women from association with gayness. Too many men are too body conscious and stupid.

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u/gnutrino 7h ago

Tom of Finland: "Wanna bet?"

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u/SmertriosPPD 12h ago

There are plenty of ways to sexualize a man for female gaze. Like for instance being a sadomazochist billionaire. Being a sparkling immortal pedophile. Being a serial killer or literally just a rapist. It's just not visual, that's the problem.

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u/skivvv 13h ago edited 9h ago

It reminds me of the saying, "No one knows who discovered water, but we know it wasn't the fish." As in an environment that's familiar to you becomes invisible. Women being sexualised is so common it doesn't register that it's a trend a lot of the time. People point to men being sexualised in defence because it's so abnormal that even one is worth commenting on.

Personally my take in sexualisation is that it's a mix of the design of the character and the observer. I'm not sexually attracted to myself when I look in the mirror, but someone might be sexually attracted to my body because they like skinny white guys. So is it attractive or not? In being observed do I become hot? If an ass claps in the wood does it make a sound? I think this also goes for personality since being into a certain personality can make a character way hotter than if it's not the type of person you find attractive (which doesn't necessarily rely on sexualised design). But like I suspect it's evolution making you want to procreate with someone with specific physical traits and those traits have been identified and exaggerated in various ways through media. It's fine to have that reaction but separating yourself enough from it enough to be respectful in the day-today is the key.

Generally I think the two parallel problems are "is this sexualised character sexual without being objectified?" and "What are the types of experiences that deserve to be represented?" The first one is about execution on a specific type of person and the second is, I suspect, what people actually mean when they say that they're pissed off by sexualised characters. It's not necessarily that it's objectification (although it might be), it's that it could be something else, but isn't. I think you need both to really get at the core of the issue since sexuality is as much a part of the network of human experience as everything else.

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u/LAVADOG1500 9h ago edited 9h ago

“If an ass claps in the wood does it make a sound?”

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u/dragondingohybrid 15h ago

Wait, the picture where he's wearing a sweater and holding a cake? People are calling that a thirst trap?!

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u/Van_Weezer 13h ago

The one in the blue long sleeve. But Yeah it's come up in this same kind of discussion a lot lately. A lot of ladies say that they find that more attractive than just shredded shirtless dudes.

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u/Eric-Breaux 12m ago

That doesn't mean they also prefer more covering on men to them being as revealing in the same body areas, like the butt, like how women are sexualized. Few people find angry faces in aggressive poses and being buff as attractive as being calm and thinner.

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u/PensandSwords3 15h ago

Eh, I mean walk into any LGBTQIA+ club, venue, or like area of a city and you’ll find much better done marketing for men who like men.

Or just anyone who likes men, like people know how to market male thirst traps. It’s more the fact the sexualization of people often goes hand in hand with patriarchal norms, unrealistic beauty standards, and a form of attractiveness fashioned by marketing / societal pressures.

Which is to say, unless the marketing is purposefully seeking to be representative / explore including models / marketing people who’re diverse (from the like standard skinny, specifically proportioned). It tends to look a specific way.

Which is why marketing often uses actors or standard people who fit the groups they’re appealing to. While lot of sexualized stuff is based off like a more standardized attractiveness.

I should note, I have no experience in marketing or modeling or any that myself. This is my lay view from what I understand of how it works.

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u/Van_Weezer 15h ago

Your lack of experience is noted. You should probably go look at the advertisements for gay men's clubs, because they're pretty much just the man from OPs comic except wearing briefs instead of shorts.

And for another classic example, look at the advertisements for Chippendales. Also just shirtless dudes with abs, and the occasional non-suit.

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u/peachesfordinner BumBum Ouchie 14h ago

I prefer my man smut in bearforceone style

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u/MoarVespenegas 7h ago

No, we figured it out in the early 2000s.
It's Viggo Mortensen as Aragorn.

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u/Canvaverbalist 7h ago

It's because it's not universal.

As a man, my ultimate attraction is women in giant oversized sweatshirts with long sleeves going over their hands, a beanie, drinking hot cocoa while reading a book under a pile of pillows and blankets on the couch. Bimbos in chainmail bikinis do absolutely nothing for me.

The way I see it, there's probably just as much women into leather-wearing skintight pants muscular himbos as there are men like me into cozy chill cutesy women, but we get undervoiced in society because culture and media tends to overcaricature itself and over-exaggerate the more popular traits, so the prevailing idea is: men likes sexualized bimbos, women like cozy houseman.

I mean, even in the OP I don't think there's enough varied ways to sexualize a woman, they're all sexualized in the same way, they're just more prevalent because society still has this mindset of "media is for men" type of thing. Let it runs its course, and put more women in charge of media and we'll have plenty of varied sultry elf vampire and long-haired leather-pant wearing rockstars and rugged half-naked hairy dwarfs to satisfy the lot.

All I'm asking for is that we get a few oversized sweatshirts book goblins in the process.

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u/Nearby-Weird9535 1h ago

Reproduction is more contingent on, and demanding of a womans physiology than a mans. From that evolutionary perspective, the range of what can be a 'idealized male' is legitimately wider than a womans - because producing sperm is so much easier, the ideal can be more flexible: i.e. strong, or cunning, or wealthy.

Whereas above all else, the woman needs to be able to make a child. The range of physical cues that indicate that are much more constrained than those for men, so, men evolved to have narrower beauty standards. (of course mens beauty standard still generally relate health, vitality, and genetic quality)

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u/Eric-Breaux 2h ago edited 26m ago

I hate so much that males haven't gotten as much affirmation for as long as women have of the same body areas being shown off being as sexy. It's a mismatch of a very passionate desire, and makes it a waste for men to feel much more often. How have most males been fine with this!?