r/melbourne • u/VelcroGenitals • 1d ago

Not On My Smashed Avo Massage Parlours are everywhere.

How the hell are there so many massage parlours in Melbourne and greater Melbourne? They're everywhere. Are most people getting massages regularly and I'm the odd one out? On multiple strips of shops near me in the eastern suburbs there are two different competing massage shops. All within a 5km radius of each other, and several other massage shops at larger shopping centres. I'm just so curious how this massive industry survives. I don't think I've seen people actually go into half of them before, half only look open ⅓ of the time. It's just an element of Melbourne I've never given any thought and don't really know anyone that gets them or works at them to ask.

Edit: Are people actually taking the piss or are we genuinely saying stone faced that there are several brothels essentially every few Km in the suburbs? That seems crazy to me. Also why the hell aren't Johns just actually going to proper brothels?! Going to deregulated shifty ones doesn't just sound dubious as fuck, it seems genuinely dangerous. And if it's such an open secret that they're all shady rub and tug joints, why TF aren't we closing them down. That's so wildly irresponsible of the govt/police to let the biggest human trafficking industry on earth just run rampant.

Edit 2: The username is a reference to how easy being gender fluid would be for a muppet. Just because my username has genitals in it, doesn't make me an expert on Melbourne prostitution rings. I appreciate the almost irony, but it's just a coincidence.

Edit 3: Why is everyone insisting I'm a bloke?

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7

u/mjlowmann 20h ago

I’ve always wondered if massage parlour girls do happy endings for females… 🤔

7

u/chezibot 19h ago

I could have sworn I seen a post about this awhile ago. About a man that offers the service I’m sure it was in the Melbourne sub.

3

u/sadmarshmellow_9324 19h ago

That sounds so dangerous

1

u/Sports_Casual 14h ago

Especially if he was allergic to peanuts.

4

u/Low-Quality-144 14h ago

I hired a mobile male masseus in Sydney many years ago who did that. Was a lot of fun. After the massage he packed up, walked over to my fridge and made himself a peanut butter sandwich. 10/10.

5

u/Syosiman 20h ago

You can always go find out

6

u/mjlowmann 20h ago

Hahaha I don’t know about that, I would have to have a few drinks in me first to be able to do that 😅

3

u/Syosiman 19h ago

Liquid courage isn't that hard to get. Sounds like nothings stopping you haha

3

u/BackCountryAus 15h ago

There was a post a while ago about a lady who went to a massage parlour and got a surprise when they went to give her a happy ending.
Doubt they’re knocking back paying customers for being the wrong gender lol

2

u/-hacks4pancakes- 15h ago

I don't know, in my life I have walked into a few that were ... obviously not intended for me to go get a real actual massage, and I was immediately turned away.

2

u/ribbitcroakwtf 16h ago

Yes there are.

2

u/Low-Quality-144 14h ago

They do indeed.