Found out through facebook. Still not sure what it was, because as far i know, he was only doing roxies. But he liked to get 7-8 at a time and snort them all in one sitting. One rumor is that he was buying them off the dark web - he mightve gotten some fent pills. The other rumor was that he was also doing H. Regardless, we lost a good human. He didn't care that i was flat broke, living with my grandfather. He still picked me up, took me to the movies, bought the tickets and snacks, then brought me home. All because he just wanted to hang out. He wasn't only my friend because of what i could do for him - which seems to be the case more and more these days. He liked to just talk and just hang out.

Tracy sent me Narcan. I tried giving it to him, but he was afraid of possible charges he could get if i got pulled over, so he gave them back before he left. I don't know the circumstances of his death, but maybe if he took the Narcan, he would be here. The overzealous cops piss me off. I guess he's another statistic now for them.

How many more people have to die from this shit before you realize that its a disease - but then again, you dont give a fuck about people with other diseases either unless it pads your bottom line.

we keep burying beautiful young people after they overdose and making the same mistakes. sometimes the family chooses to cover it up--justified, fairly, by the fact they usually suffer by far the most, and that it's their choice ultimately--instead of being advocates for positive change. some do so, as my early childhood best friend Owen's family have. i mean, for fucks sake, though, everyone knows! everyone but the children and others not in the know who would benefit from our treating an 'epidemic' as we would quite literally any other disease. so it doesn't even save face, as it were, just heightens stigma. not even advocating but just collectively facing the truth would, i'm sure, save at least one life, so shouldn't we encourage that?

It was your birthday yesterday, and I'm thinking about you again as always around this time. If I hadn't of left you would you still be alive? I miss your smile Pamela Ann. We were so young. Please rest...

you were there for me

I met her through reddit and she became a really good friend. We'd have coffee, hang at her place shooting the shit and laughing and crying. She'd been having a hard time since she OD'd in November. Her teenage child had to go live with the father, she went through a 7-day detox, she lost her apartment and was living in her car, and shed witnessed an attempted murder and then was present but wasn't witness to a murder just a few months later. Things were looking up for her--I talked to her the day before it happened and she told me she was getting an apartment that week. She had a friend to stay with until then. We were looking forward to me getting home from vacation and visiting at her new place. I called and texted the day she was supposed to move in. Then the following day. And the next. I didn't hear back, which wasn't completely out of character. But then someone that had her phone called me back and told me she'd OD'd earlier in the week. Less than 12 hours after we'd talked. I'm heartbroken. For her, for her family, for all of us who cared for and loved her.

She had a sensitive and sweet heart. She was loving and funny and really intelligent. She'd been dealt a lot of trauma and tragedy and she still saw the good in people and kept the good in her. I'm going to miss her. 💜