I am so tired of my principal turning every staff meeting into a rant

[u/WillowAny9768]

I work at a PK-6 public school in North Carolina as an LAI teacher, basically special education resource, and I am already so tired of these staff meetings. Every meeting turns into my principal ranting about whatever annoyed her that week. Attendance, lesson plans, people coming in too close to contract time, teachers sitting during dismissal, hallways being loud, people checking their phones, classrooms being cluttered, emails not being answered fast enough. Literally anything. And she never just gives a quick reminder. It turns into a whole speech about how she “shouldn’t have to remind professionals” and how people need to decide if they “really want to be here.”

Last week she basically called me out without saying my name because she didn’t like how I handled a discipline issue with one of my students. She started talking about how “some staff members need to be more thoughtful about how they handle student behavior” while looking directly at me. Everybody knew who she was talking about. I was so irritated because if you have an issue with something I did, TALK TO ME. Why are we doing indirect callouts in front of the entire staff??

Then this week she got into it with another staff member because she kept interrupting him while he was trying to explain himself. He finally said, “Can I finish speaking?” and she immediately said he was being disrespectful, telling him, "You are not going to disrespect me in my meeting!" He told her, “You asked me a question and won’t let me answer.” Then she suddenly wanted to continue the conversation privately and he said, “That probably should’ve been how this conversation started.” I swear you could hear a pin drop.

And apparently “privately” meant getting loud with him in the hallway while everyone was leaving because that is exactly what happened after the meeting. People were literally walking past them while she was raising her voice at him. At that point I was just like are you serious?? You just made this whole thing about professionalism and then you’re arguing with a staff member in the hallway where everybody can hear you.

She was a PE teacher for about five years before becoming an assistant principal and became a principal around ten years into her career. She’s in her mid 30s and talks to grown adults, including people who have been teaching longer than she has even been in education, like we are children. I am just tired of sitting through meetings wondering who is going to be the topic of the week.

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[u/Desperate_Owl_594]

Report them to HR.

[u/WillowAny9768 → u/Desperate_Owl_594]

I highly doubt they will do anything. Our union is virtually non-existent since it's North Carolina. You'd be surprised about the things toxic school administrators get away with in my district.

[u/Desperate_Owl_594 → u/WillowAny9768]

Eve if they don't, you have documentation for it. HR doesn't care until it becomes a problem for the company/school/district.

[u/TurtleBeansforAll → u/WillowAny9768]

Next time, could you stand by the teacher who was getting yelled at by her? Just be there next to him on his side.

[u/Raunchyjam → u/TurtleBeansforAll]

Turtle beans, I love this suggestion. Exactly. Her power is slipping and she feels it. That quiet solidarity is needed.

[u/WillowAny9768 → u/TurtleBeansforAll]

Good idea.

[u/Seff-bone]

I will never take my principal for granted again. Sounds like a nightmare environment. How unprofessional.

[u/racingturtlesforfun → u/Seff-bone]

Right?!? I’m so thankful for the great administration at my school. My principal is really amazing.

[u/anewbys83 → u/Seff-bone]

Mine is the same, so if she mentions similar stuff at our meetings, we know it's because we're actually messing up. Most of us want her to succeed because then our school is doing better.

[u/amscraylane]

My former principal was also a PE teacher and just didn’t understand classroom management.

Also, her husband was the president of the school board.

She paid herself $9k to teach TAG!!

Observations were fun when she said I didn’t give enough wait time and then I gave them too much wait time.

But she is also a principal that when a kid threatened to shoot you, it is your fault for allowing him to get those feelings.

[u/JoeNoHeDidnt]

I once had an admin who was nuts like that. She tried to call me out ‘without naming names’ in an all staff meeting for making too many copies.

So I said, “Actually, let’s use names. I made those copies. And I did it because you told me to make copies of the test prep workbook because we only had one and you wanted each kid to work in it. So when am I supposed to do what you ask me and when am I supposed to ignore what you tell me to do?”

Shut her up.

[u/CliffMourene → u/JoeNoHeDidnt]

Yeah, there is no fucking way I’m not saying something back, union or not. I am an adult and a professional.

[u/ericbahm → u/JoeNoHeDidnt]

Principal or not, you HAVE TO stand up to bullies.

[u/Haze-nut]

She’s demanding professionalism while publicly embarrassing staff and arguing in the hallway. That’s not leadership, it’s a power trip with a captive audience.

[u/LillMikki]

Ouchhhh. She sounds horrible!

[u/Grim__Squeaker]

Yall have staff meetings?

[u/Particular-Fun4216 → u/Grim__Squeaker]

You don’t? I taught in five different states. We had weekly staff meetings at every school. Of course… they all could have been an email.

[u/Grim__Squeaker → u/Particular-Fun4216]

We have weekly PLC and then one leadership meeting every other month if you are on that committee. Then they disseminate the info

[u/fillumcricket → u/Particular-Fun4216]

Ours have turned into a weekly email bulletin, and people actually complain that it isn't a staff meeting instead. I think they would like more admin visibility, which I support, but a weekly staff meeting would get old fast. 

[u/WillowAny9768 → u/Grim__Squeaker]

Yup. Weekly, unfortunately. 45 minutes long. Sometimes longer depending on the nature of her rant.

[u/Grim__Squeaker → u/WillowAny9768]

Gross. We have 3 during pre-planning and thats it for the year unless you are on some committee.

[u/Effective_Ability829]

There is a chance you are working with my first principal 😭 it was my first school so I didn’t realize that it was odd until after years of dealing with it I realized that it just rubbed me the wrong way

[u/Less_Wealth5525]

We had a horrible principal and one year she was given the boot at Thanksgiving. Get as much documentation as you can and keep at it, Good luck!

[u/Proper-Original-391]

Just document each incident and report them all to h.r. She's a bully and shouldn't be in a position of authority.

[u/leisureletter]

Are you at my old middle school? My God. It is so frustrating after a long day at work to be forced to listen to admin rant and rave. There's nothing wrong with reminders and simple corrections, but ranting and raving is so unprofessional.

And I get the frustration, especially when it's not one person but there are do many other ways to fix the problem other then venting at everyone.

[u/Raunchyjam]

I had an Admin who used to take Friday meetings into overtime. She’d rant, dance, and wear costumes vaguely related to whatever school event. I endured her for years because sometimes you just gotta keep your job. Unfortunately it doesn’t sound like there’s much you can do. She knows her authority isn’t respected (because she’s behaving so badly). An anonymous letter, wherein you ask for less ranting? Dunno. I’m sorry, this sounds intolerable.

[u/Hofeizai88 → u/Raunchyjam]

Maybe ask that there be an agenda and some sort of purpose?

[u/Competitive_Ninja624]

Tune her out, and go about your business. Sounds like she’ll eventually burn out.

[u/Lulu_531]

I’ve worked for admins like that. Get your resume and recommendations in order now. And start applying as soon as possible. Get out of there. I powered through and ended up completely burnt out

[u/Fresh_Finance677]

The parents need to complain about her to the board. It doesn’t matter what we teachers say, but if the parents make a stink, suddenly things get done.

I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this. She sounds exhausting

[u/Klopadeacon]

Sit in the back and work on lesson plans on your computer. You already know going in that it’s gonna be a waste of time

[u/faemomofdragons]

I ran into a retired teacher who had worked 38 years at my school and retired before I got there. He asked about the new principal and then said he was surprised the old principal was hired becauae "PE teachers never make good administrators." I'm sure some due, but as our new assistant principal is a PE teacher, I am inclined to agree.

[u/Proper-Original-391]

Also, check to see if your state allows recording with just consent of one party (you). If it does, record her every interaction during meetings and individually. Share those with h.r., your union, whomever, the local news, whatever.

[u/Back_Meet_Knife]

She is not long for that job.

[u/Fearless-Past-3728]

Im so tired of staff meetings. I once had this principal that would just say something brief and send us off.

[u/arb1984]

Skip them. Take sick days if you have to.

[u/MakeItAll1]

This sounds like a teacher who couldn’t handle the stresses and responsibilities of a classroom teacher. They escaped into administration to make teachers who are able to thrive for decades in the classroom as miserable as possible. They are also clearly out of touch with the day to day pressures and ever increasing amount of work makes doing hallway duty and organizing a classroom impossible. I use every moment of every day setting up and managing materials for my high school art classes. Plus I need time to pee several times each day. If you don’t want me leaving the students alone for a few minutes and don’t want me to leave the hallways unattended what am I supposed to do? Wear an adult diaper? Not hydrate during the day?

[u/devy1004]

I’d start recording. Easy lawsuit.

[u/True-Donut-3011]

I could write something very similar about my administration. Not one of them behaves professionally. If you didn’t say you were in NC, I would swear we work in the same school! Disgusting.

[u/Matrinka]

It always seems to be the elementary school principals.

[u/WhatIsThatNietzsche]

File a grievance. That said, as an educator myself, there might be some or a lot of truth to some of her complaints.

[u/PandaCultural8311]

Someone needs to hide a camera and record the meetings. Then share it somewhere anonymously where the principal will be a bit embarrassed about what the public thinks of them.

[u/Southern-Summer2607]

I totally agree! No one likes to be singled out in front of their peers! Mayb all staff should address this issue at the next mty! I worked at a dd program for 30 years. Sometimes our leader would do this but not every meeting. We are adults not children give respect always! 

[u/anewbys83]

Everyone gets up and leaves when she starts. Agree ahead of time. The NCAE is as helpful as your local chapter is. Build it up, get annoying through it to the powers that be. We're doing that in my district and it helps. Not as much as in union states, but better than having no one.

[u/Careful-Impact7850]

One of my former principals screamed at me in the hallway when I asked a question while I was with a committee of teachers. But, next day he came to my room and apologized in private! I left at the end of the year because I moved.

At the end of the year, he got demoted to AP at another school and actually called me to ask if I would tell the school board/HR I did not leave because of him! I did not leave because of him, but I never called.

[u/23vrandal]

A principle should be a person that handles authority well, not everyone is made for the position.

[u/Square_Mirror_2849]

I've been on both sides of this. What helped a little: send one item to him in writing before the meeting, so it's already on the table and he has to deal with it. Won't fix a ranter, but you get something to point back to.

[u/Shoddy-Gas1309]

I had an experience like this with a principal a few years ago, only I was her main target. I had multiple meetings with her, meetings with the district superintendent, with both of them, and with them and a union rep. It was the worst work experience I’ve ever had. I don’t know what your district does, but mine sends out an “intent to return” email at the end of each school year. We got rid of the toxic principal because the majority of the staff said that we’d love to return but not under the current administration. I know that doesn’t help you right now, but most districts would much rather replace one admin than re-staff an entire site. There’s power in numbers.

[u/twgecko02]

I love how the fact that you work at a PK-6 public school in NC as an LAI teacher adds nothing to the post except doxing yourself.

Y'all sometimes admins see this shit and people get fired for it - post complaints and vent, but do it in a way that doesn't seem like you're trying to be recognized by people who know you IRL

[u/Then_Version9768]

Organize a resistance campaign which includes a letter describing her behavior step by step, get it signed by various teachers, and send it to the Board of Education. You need to be brave enough to speak out, you know, to get anything done. This is as old as history, we all know this, but all we usually get is people whining but doing nothing. About those people, I have nothing but disgust at their spinelessness.

[u/dynogirl59]

Principal doesn’t have the balls to come see a teacher with an issue. Some principles are just never on your side. They are always there to police you.

[u/chuckit9907]

Record the meetings discreetly.

[u/Top_Philosopher1809]

Some people do not need leadership roles.