First of all you are very well spoken and I admire your perspective and resilience

The thing about perspectives is they're just that, no cultural norm or opinion can get in the way of your rights to expression and living a full life - there are very few things made haram in the quran otherwise it's a great life we've been given

Maintaining ties yes but you have a duty to your own being well

The moment I define my life people start to respect or go silent because their ego/self (nafs) revolves entirely around their own self - the most Muslim thing we can do is the internal struggle and have the awareness to do that which you are

If the Rabb is the all capable Al Qadir which he is and the Light Al Nur, then he is certainly capable of expanding your chest, heart and life and filling it with lights along your path it's just that people who are finite have shown you otherwise and your reality has made you believe that

The lord loves you

You're taking all the right steps, I wish you sincere lights and blessings in your journey and when you get the space and the spirit returns I hope you appreciate the view and maybe even with someone who appreciates it with you too

This is so well written and convened it should be taught

Awesome Ken thanks very much for that

For me it was a lot of jogging around the park, a tenacity to want to understand where the light is and what im supposed to do, learning to listen to my intuition- eventually it came the balance of justice and nature i cared about both

The breath through the nostrils is the gift of of our life from the creator of all things that he put in us, all else is just

Control is a big no no

Only Allah is the controller of all affairs

Your heart recognises the truth and is steering you to paths that enrich you and are a source of provision and love not fear and lack lack So detach with trust