Hii loves!

It’s ya favourite deviant back with some more visions of Fitnah!

This time I am exploring the concept of the good girl gone bad woman!

For me, the first time I heard I was a good girl was when I was getting cut at 2 years old. I have wrote about this here!

I hope you guys enjoy it and let me know which ways you were a good girl!

Full post

https://lotusubax.substack.com/p/visions-of-fitnah-pt-3?r=24pwlg&utm_medium=ios

What did you think of it?

I thought it was a very well done movie. The acting, the story line, the views on people and thier hypocrisy was done perfectly.

I’m F17. I thought Islam was fact rather than something you choose to believe so I never questioned it but just saw it as something I would eventually have to learn to conform to.

I think I did once truly believe in Allah and would pray for forgiveness and his mercy.

Last year, I actually considered my doubts about the religion and came to the conclusion that I am agnostic. However, it feels like I’ve lost all my direction in life. I’ve gone through grief, illness and mental health issues this year, and it feels pointless. I don’t feel like I have anyone or anything to turn to but a higher power. When I think about Islam and the rulings, it doesn’t make sense, I can name so many reasons why I don’t agree with it. But I still feel like I yearn for something to believe in. And Islam seems the most comfortable.

I miss being able to take part in Ramadan without the feelings of annoyance, using Islamic talk like Alhamdullilah or Wallahi without feeling fake. I’m still young and I know I don’t have to have it all figured out. But I just feel so lost. It feels like my life is just going wrong and I don’t know if I can get through it all without a bigger reason like religion. Islam is so restrictive for so many reasons, but I don’t know how to cope without it.

Anyone else struggled with maladaptive daydreaming?

Mines started during covid and I would always dream about not being muslim, being a singer, having a lot friends, wearing nice outfits and being in a relationship.

These things were something I couldn’t achieve in real life because of my strict muslim family and my shyness.

I’ve stopped this when I became an adult because I was busy with work and school but it made me waste a lot of time. Instead of spending my teens rebelling and living my life I would just cope with daydreaming. It still affects me because I struggle to take action and get the things I want.

Hello I was just wondering how many Somalis with type 4 hair are here especially girls . I feel like there’s an expectation to hide and straighten it so I wanted to know if any of you go outside with it in its natural form aka an Afro, especially if ur a woman.

I feel humiliated even thinking about the idea, I know there’s a expectation of what hair I should have but I always just keep it straightened and if weirdos do ask my hair type for some reason I lie because I just feel embarrassed. I know this might be a dumb insecurity but if you’ve been shamed for something your whole life then it’s hard to like it. I am even thinking of relaxing my hair soon which makes me feel worse.
Any thoughts and could share your natural hair journey if you have the same hair type.

I moved out recently to live alone and have been loving life. I have so much freedom and I don't need to wear the hijab. The one day I put the hijab on to go back home immediately felt the bad vibes from people. People treat you so much nicer without it and that's one of the reasons why I took it off. I don't want to be a religious symbol | want to be a human being like everyone else.

Anyway I've been clubbing and going out a lot recently to celebrate this new freedom and I went to an event a few days ago. I had the best time ever but the next day I saw that the pictures got published online. Now I'm scared in case someone I know sees me dressed immodestly and drunk in a club. One of the pictures I'm dancing with a guy with my back to him and his hands are on my waist. I thought he was gay that's why I was dancing with him but looking back at these picture and the way he's looking at me, he does not look gay Imaooo. I'm just grateful there's no pictures of me kissing fine shyt at the end of the night.
But anyways, has this happened to anyone else and their family found out? What happened and what was your excuse?

Any of you from Ohio? All I seen is reer Minnesota.

I know a good majority of the people on this subreddit are from Minnesota and the UK. Any of us from the Rocky Mountain states?

This is so fun and pretty. Now they are covered up to “represent” Somali culture. Still grateful they are preserving some culture but I absolutely HATE the Islamization of our cultural dress. Now our arms cant be shown or our necks let alone hair! Its like they are slowly erasing our norms. This is why I refuse to wear hijab in the most Somali areas because representation matters.

Its just weird that the previous audience was just as excited. When I was younger, Somalis were part time covered at first. The hijabs would fly off for wedding or special events. It’s so scary! I am so grateful we have historical photos but I remember people literally destroying them as they were instructed!! This is an ideological war.

I’m so tired of hearing that I looked better with my hijab on. I know my hair is thin. I know thin short type 4 hair isn’t considered beautiful by a lot of people. I don’t even know how to style it properly now that I leave it out, and seeing how see through it looks makes me insecure. I don’t know how to do makeup either, and although I hate fake hair, I’m starting to consider it because I feel like I need to compensate somehow.

But I didn’t take my hijab off because I thought I’d look better without it. I’m not dumb I seen plenty of women who still look pretty with it on. I took it off because I no longer wanted a religious symbol on my head or the pressure that came with it. So many people have reacted with shock, and others keep reminding me that I looked better before. Why is it such a big deal?

I’m basically broke, I already struggle with how I look, and I’m exhausted by how much everything seems to revolve around appearance. I just wanted to make a personal decision without feeling like I had to justify it by looking prettier.

I know this is an ex-Muslim space, but I’m honestly scared of posting because I don’t want to be shamed here either. I still pray. I haven’t suddenly stopped believing in everything, but it feels like that isn’t enough for some people. Apparently, if you take off the hijab, people feel entitled to judge your appearance, your faith, and your entire character.

I’m just tired. I wanted to feel like my life belonged to me, and instead I feel more exposed and scrutinised than ever.

Why can’t people let me exist without making me feel like I’ve disappointed them?

The Dominion Society of Canada is a far right hate group focused on “remigration” and the spreading of racism and bigotry through misinformation and praising settler colonialism in Canada.
Feel free to sign and/or share the petition to ban them from Canadian academic institutions.
https://www.change.org/Bandominionsocietyofcanada

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/ottawa/only-the-beginning-anti-immigration-group-says-ottawans-should-brace-themselves-9.7362341

F25 here. I’ve come a long way, and I wanted to share a few things I’ve learned along the way. Especially for those of you who are younger, still living at home, or struggling with guilt, shame and the feeling that you don’t really belong anywhere. Also this is gonna be a really long post.

1. If you want to take off your hijab, you can. But please think about your safety first.

You don’t owe anyone a hijab, and you shouldn’t have to justify your decision to stop wearing one.
But if you’re young, financially dependent on your parents, or living in an abusive or controlling household, please be careful. Sometimes the smartest thing you can do is wait until you’ve moved out and can support yourself.
I know that’s not what everyone wants to hear. Waiting can feel incredibly unfair, especially when you see people around you living freely. But your safety comes first. You don’t have to prove how brave or independent you are by putting yourself in danger.

1. Stop carrying the shame of not being Muslim. You’re still Somali.
   This is something I really want to emphasise.

You haven’t betrayed your people. You haven’t betrayed your ethnicity. You are not any less Somali because you no longer believe in Islam.

A lot of us were raised in environments where religion was presented as the absolute truth from the moment we were born. We weren’t exactly encouraged to question it. And when something has been taught to you your entire life, it’s completely understandable that guilt and fear don’t just disappear when you stop believing.
I remember a friend once telling me that her imaan was low and she felt guilty about it, but that the guilt was actually a good thing because it meant Allah hadn’t given up on her. According to her, people who no longer felt guilty about being distant from Allah were the ones Allah had given up on.

Think about what that teaches a person. Even feeling at peace with your own disbelief becomes something to fear.

That kind of thinking can stay with you for years.

But you don’t need to feel guilty to be a good person. And you don’t need religion to have morals, compassion or a sense of purpose.

1. Please don’t replace one form of social control with another.
   This is something I think some of us need to hear.
   Just because you’ve left Islam doesn’t mean everyone else needs to.

If another woman wants to wear a hijab, niqab or burqa, let her. If someone finds happiness and meaning in religion, that’s their life. You don’t have to agree with their beliefs to respect their freedom to practise them.

I understand why religious clothing or certain traditions can bring up difficult feelings, especially if you were forced into them yourself. But your experience doesn’t automatically tell you what someone else’s experience is.

And social control isn’t exclusive to religion.

Even in Western societies, where individuality is celebrated, there are unwritten rules about how you’re supposed to look, behave and live. We’re told to be ourselves, but not too different. Be confident, but not arrogant. Be independent, but not selfish. Express yourself, but preferably in ways society finds acceptable.

Of course, this isn’t necessarily comparable to the coercion, threats or abuse some of us have experienced. The severity and consequences can be very different.
My point is that people everywhere are influenced by social expectations, and we should be conscious of that.

Freedom has to include the freedom to make choices we personally wouldn’t make.

1. Question the parts of our culture and upbringing that we’ve been taught to accept without thinking.
   I love being Somali, but that doesn’t mean I have to agree with every aspect of Somali culture.
   Question the idea that obedience to your parents should come before your own happiness. Question the shame attached to certain life choices. Question why family reputation sometimes seems to matter more than an individual’s wellbeing.
   You can love your parents and still disagree with them.
   You can appreciate the sacrifices they made and still choose a different life.
   You can respect your culture without accepting every expectation that comes with it.
   And please remember that gratitude is not the same as lifelong obedience.

You are your own person. Your life belongs to you.

1. You only get one life. Please don’t spend all of it living for other people.
   I know how difficult this can be.
   You might feel sorry for your parents because you know how deeply they believe. You might worry about disappointing your siblings, losing friends or hurting people who genuinely love you.
   You can have compassion for them. You can understand that their beliefs are deeply rooted in how they were raised, just like yours once were.

But you cannot live your entire life trying to protect everyone else from the discomfort of your choices.

And the same principle applies in reverse.
They have the right to believe. You have the right not to.
They have the right to live according to their religion. You have the right to live according to your own values.
Unfortunately, that respect won’t always go both ways. You might never get the acceptance you’re hoping for.

That’s painful, but you can only control your own actions. You cannot force people to understand you.

1. Financial independence matters more than you might realise.

I really want younger people to understand this.
I started working at 17 and moved out at 18. One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is how important it is to save money, plan ahead and become financially independent.
I know it’s easier said than done, especially if you’re living somewhere expensive like London, or if you’re still in school.
But if moving out is your goal, start preparing for it as early as you safely can.

Get a job if you’re able to. Save what you can. Try to work as much as you reasonably can without sacrificing your education. Look into student accommodation, shared flats, scholarships and other opportunities.

You might have to accept a lower standard of living than you’d ideally want at first. You might need roommates. You might have to move to a cheaper city, or even consider another country if that’s a realistic option for you.

And that’s okay. You don’t need a beautiful apartment or a perfect lifestyle immediately. You need somewhere safe where you can start building your own life.

Ialso understand that not everyone can work or save, and that some people have much bigger obstacles than others. This isn’t about blaming anyone for being stuck.

It’s about preparing where you can.

Some of us don’t have the same family safety net that other young adults can rely on. Some of us know that making certain choices could mean losing financial support or even contact with our families.
That’s why having your own money, your own documents, and a realistic plan can make such a difference.

And please, think carefully about coming out as an ex-Muslim, queer, or anything else your family might strongly reject while you’re still dependent on them.
Ask yourself whether you’re safe, what the consequences might be, and whether waiting until you’re independent would be better for you.
You don’t owe anyone a public declaration of who you are. Living authentically doesn’t mean telling everyone everything about yourself.

1. Be patient and kind to yourself. It takes time.

Many of us were taught these beliefs from such a young age that they became part of how we understood ourselves and the world.
You might stop believing intellectually long before you stop feeling afraid emotionally.
You might still feel guilty about things you no longer believe are wrong. You might still catch yourself worrying about hell, judgement or disappointing your family.
That doesn’t mean you’re weak or that you’ve made the wrong decision.
Unlearning years of conditioning takes time. Sometimes years.

You don’t have to figure everything out immediately. You don’t have to have a perfect answer to every religious argument. You don’t have to turn being an ex-Muslim into your entire identity.
Give yourself permission to grow at your own pace.
And finally, a little about where I am now.

I’m 25, and I’ve come a long way.

I’m not particularly interested in publicly announcing that I’m an ex-Muslim. For me personally, it would create unnecessary drama, and I don’t feel the need to make my disbelief a central part of my identity.
What matters most to me is autonomy.
I want to live according to my own values, make my own decisions and build a life that I’m genuinely happy with.

And that’s what I’m doing.

But I won’t pretend there haven’t been consequences.
I don’t have many Muslim or Somali friends anymore. In some ways, I feel quite distant from my own culture, which is sad because being Somali is still part of who I am.

It’s difficult to feel connected to a community when you know that certain parts of your identity or life choices might not be accepted.
I wish it were different.

But I’ve also learned that belonging doesn’t have to mean fitting into the community you were born into. You might find other Somalis who understand you. You might find people from completely different backgrounds who become your family.
You will find your people, even if it takes time.

And I want to say one last thing: I understand that some of you are in situations far more difficult than mine. Some of you are still hiding, still financially dependent, still afraid of what might happen if your family finds out.

I don’t have all the answers, and I don’t want to pretend that becoming independent is easy.

But please don’t give up on the possibility of having a life that feels like your own.

You deserve the freedom to decide what you believe, who you love, what you wear and what kind of future you want.
And remember that the freedom you’re fighting for is also something you should extend to others.

Lastly: Don’t let being an ex-Muslim become your entire identity.

I understand the anger, resentment and even hatred some people feel towards Islam, especially if religion has caused them trauma or taken away parts of their freedom. Those feelings are valid, and everyone processes their experiences differently.

But I think it’s worth asking yourself something: if you spend so much of your time and energy hating Islam, arguing against it and thinking about everything that’s wrong with it, are you truly free from it? Or is it still controlling a huge part of your life, just in a different way?

There’s nothing wrong with criticising religion or speaking out against harmful practices. But don’t forget to actually live the life you fought so hard to have.

You are so much more than the religion you left behind.

Being a Somali ex-Muslim isn’t always easy. I see you, I understand more than you might think, and I’m rooting for you. ❤️

I've been developing an idea for a historical drama series set in an ancient Somali-inspired world, and I'd love to hear people's honest opinions about the concept.

The story follows a young man named Cawale, who grows up believing he is an ordinary villager, unaware that his past may be connected to a fallen kingdom and a legacy that was taken from his family.

His life begins to change when he stands up against soldiers who are mistreating people in his village. What seems like a simple act of courage gradually draws him into a much larger world of secrets, royal rivalries, betrayal, power struggles, and conflicts that could change the future of his people.

The world I'm imagining includes ancient Somali landscapes, traditional architecture and clothing, royal families, warriors, village life, complicated relationships between clans, love, loyalty, and the struggle for power.

I'm inspired by this type of storytelling, where the characters have their own ambitions, the political conflicts have real consequences, and nobody's story is entirely black and white. I want to create something with its own identity, rooted in Somali culture, history, and traditions.

I'm still developing the idea, so I'd really appreciate honest feedback.

Here are a few questions I'd love your opinions on:

\- Would a historical drama set in an ancient Somali world interest you?

\- Does Cawale's story sound compelling enough to carry a series?

\- What would make you interested in a show set in a culture you might not know much about?

\- What elements would you want to see most: political intrigue, warfare, family drama, romance, or cultural world-building?

\- What potential problems or weaknesses do you see in this concept?

I'm not looking for people to simply tell me it's a good idea. I'd genuinely like to hear what you think and what could make the concept stronger.

Thank you for reading!

I don't know if many people will relate, or if anybody would read this whole thing. I have never felt like i belonged. I don't believe in islam at all and i hate what it has done to the somali community. I hate that all of somalia is muslim, and i hate that people are so brainwashed that they can't even see a life outside this religion.

I know that it's a coping mechanism, or maybe it's a lack of educational access to other perspectives, but i am so tired of seeing people do mental gymnastics to believe in this religion that is doing nothing but hold the country back.

Luckily i was not born in somalia, but i am so angry and sad to see the state that it is in, and how religion is keeping it behind. The religious extremism is such a cult, and even somalis in the west still hold onto it so much that they can't even see how much it's holding them back. I am just feeling really frustrated and i really hate how people associate all somali people with being muslim. THAT IS NOT TRUE. I will never be muslim, i will never be religious. I wonder if there are people out there who feel the way i do, because i have always felt like the odd one out for never feeling religious.

I hope that one day the younger generation in somalia changes things, and one day somalia will not be a muslim majority. Maybe then, that country will actually progress

“You have to understand, most of these people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so inured, so hopelessly dependent on the system, that they will fight to protect it.”

~ Morpheus, The Matrix.

I will NEVER put that shit on again! EVER

I feel suicidal just thinking about it💀 I seriously don’t know how i survived for so many years

I honestly never never wanted to put it on but I'm the youngest in my family and I feel pressure from everyone. I want to take it off SO Bad but they're all abusive and I'm scared of them (I know I'm a coward) and also financially dependent on them. I know if any of them physically hurts me over this, my mom will be on their side. I'm already lonely and isolated and have no friends so they're pretty much all I have. I'm scared of being ostracised by them but I also have to be my own person and stand up for myself. Would you take off hijab in my case? Should I wait until I move out or move abroad? I admire the women that take it off sooo much and I wish everyday I had the courage to do so

Why do they care soo much like its none of ur business??!!

I am a 22-year-old guy and I still live with my mother. I think she knows deep down that I am not a Muslim anymore, but instead of confronting me directly, she keeps trying to antagonize me by making comments and bringing up religion in everything. Almost as if to see how I will react. I pretty much always argue against religion and I think she has noticed. I do not pray at all and haven't done so in years. I do fast during Ramadan, but that's just for community/cultural reasons. I don't go to Taraweeh, for example.

She had stopped asking about it for a while, but she started again recently because I naturally wake up early in the morning (around 4–5 am), which happens to be Fajr time here in Sweden. Both she and my aunt have made remarks over the years about how I wake up at Fajr time on my own but still refuse to pray, but recently my mother refuses to let it go. She even made me watch some sheikh talking about young people becoming atheists (as usual, he blamed Western schools). Now more than ever, she keeps bringing up religion and God. She never straight-up forces me to pray, but the passive-aggressive comments are so irritating. I am also really bad at lying and holding my tongue, so it's hard for me not to say what I really think.

Now she's planning to set up calls with sheikhs so they can help me "clear my doubts," but I don't just have "doubts" about Islam, I straight-up do not believe in it. I have even explicitly told her that I do not want to pray, nor do I plan on living the religious life she lives. I have basically said everything short of "I am not a Muslim anymore," but I don't know if I should just explicitly tell her. My current plan is to keep it to myself at least until I come back from my exchange next summer.

My parents’ religiosity actually sickens me. My mom is so far gone there’s actually no saving her. All she knows is religion. You can’t have a decent conversation with this woman without her spewing some religious bs. She’s somehow found a way to turn my dad more misogynistic than he already is. Im still appalled over what this nigga just said to me. Got me feeling like an afghani woman istg🤦🏽‍♀️. My mom genuinely wants me to live like im under the rule of the fucking taliban. She’s always telling me to not leave the house without a mahram. In the big 26?? I was in proper disbelief when I watched the breadwinner little did i know that I would be living in a similar dystopia a few years later. Thankfully Im currently away at a relative’s and kinda free from the barbaric rules they have set for me. Wouldn’t even be able to leave the house with just lip tint if they had their way. My dad actually makes you change your clothes if he can smell the perfume off you when leaving the house fucking kill me already.
I can’t rebel yet since id risk losing a key factor to my independence. I was willing to live a double life even when im finally independent just to avoid heartbreaking them because of how much they value religion but wallahi fuck that.