r/40kOrkScience • u/The_False_German • 9d ago
advice for grot tanks: how ta krump best?
greetin's fellow greenskins, it iz i, gimpzog da grot writin' on dis 'ere forum once again ta seek advice fer da new job i got. before i forget, i'z gonna say sorry ta da mod-ur... moddera... da bosses of dis forum since i'z postin' too much fer a grot but dis is "cereals business" as da 'umies call it (i fink)
found a new job fer meself, took a lot o' searchin' an' all dat, an' whot a mighty fine job it iz. i'z gonna be comandeerin' a grot built tank wif a bunch o' other grots, not an ork in sight in da unit if ya can believe dat. turns out dey want me ta command a crew on da account i can read an' write. of course we'z still takin' orders from da respectable gitz wif wot run da waagh! like da boss toofsnag gitgrabba (an' whot a proppa boss 'e iz!)
we'z goin out fer da waagh! soon an' i don't know da first fing about operatin' dis tank. i fink da warboss 'ere would krump me inta tomorrow if 'e saw me stealin' too many krumps from respectable gitz, but 'e'll also flatten me if 'e seez i'z doin' nothin fer da whole waagh! fer da boyz on dis forum 'ere, when her gettin' stuck in wot would you want a grot tank to be doin'?
wishin' all da boyz and grots a krump filled waagh! out dere
-gimpzog da grot
2
u/MagicMissile27 MEKBOY 9d ago
OI YOO NEEDZ TA SPEAK UP MORE YA GIT! WOTZ DIS READIN 'ND WRITIN YOUZ TALKIN BOUT?
ROIGHT, SO IF YOUZ IZ GONNA DRIVE A TANK, DEN 'ERES ME REKOMMENDATION: YOO SHOULD PAINT IN RED TA GO FASTA, DEN IF YOUZ SEEZ DA BOYZ SHOOTIN AT SOMEFINK, DEN YOU SHOOT AT IT TOO. IF DA BOYZ MOVE FORWARD, DEN YOUZ MOVEZ FORWARD FIRST TA SEE IF DERE IZ ANYTHINK WORTH KRUMPIN AHEAD.
NOW WHY IZ YOU STILL STANDIN' DERE? MOVE IT!
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u/The_False_German 9d ago
apologies boss, but i'z a grot an' dis is da loudest i can speak
boss toofsnag gitgrabba sez dat yellow iz gonna make all da tanks an' wagons shoot boomier fings, so all da grots and mekboyz painted all da fings yellow. if ya got a problem wif dat i recommend you take it up wif gitgrabba since i'z just a lowly grot.
yer advice is solid though, dis is da sorta fing i was lookin' for.
1
u/Colonel_Cosmetic Bad Moons 9d ago
DON'T FINK DIS JOB GONNA LAST LONG
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u/The_False_German 9d ago
forgive my insol- talkin' back boss, but you don't understand dis tank i'z runnin 'as some crazy dakka. we'z got a grotzooka on da top an' a big shoota in da bottom. even da beakies can't beat dat, you'll see...
we got da big shoota stolen from da loota git known as bigtoof, what a chump dat guy iz gettin' 'is shoota stolen by grots
an' don't even fink about stealin' it from us since i told ya about it, we'z got da protection of da great boss toofsnag gitgrabba an' 'e'll krump ya if you do
1
u/Colonel_Cosmetic Bad Moons 8d ago
EGSAKLY, YOU'Z GOT A FANCY NEW TANK, YOU'Z TESTIN' IT TA SEE IF IT WILL WERK OR KILL ALL DA GITZ INSIDE, IF IT WERKZ YA WON'T BE UZIN' IT AGEN, IF IT KILLZ YA, WELL DEN YOUR DEAD, SO YA WON'T BE UZIN' IT AGEN, DATZ WOT I'D DO ANYWAY
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u/NegotiationBoth9233 FLASH GIT 8d ago
ALLO LITTLE GIMP-DOGG OI DUNNO WOT REEDIN OR RITEIN IZ, BUT OI DOO NO HOW TA HAVE A GUD SKRAP
DON'T WORRY TOO MUCH ABOUT US BOYZ WOTCHIN WHAT YER DOIN AN MICRO-MANNAJIN YER. JUS GO WHERE THA BOSS POINTS YA AN HAVE SUM FUN. WUNCE THA FOIGHTIN STARTS ALLA US BOYZ WILL BE TOO BUSY GETTIN STUCK IN TO BE WOTCHIN WOT YOU IZ DOIN. AS LONG AS YOOZ ARE SHOOTIN, AND GENERALLY MOVIN IN A FORWARDS DIE-REKSHUN YOO'LL BE FOINE. AIM AT WOTEVVA YOU RECKON COULD YOOZ A GOOD SHOOTIN, AND NO RUNNIN AWAY.
MAKE SURE TO GRAB A BUNCH OF YER MATES AN GET EM IN THA TANK WIV YA. MORE GROTS TA MOVE HEVVY STUFF, HELP YA STEAL LOTZA AMMO, TRY TA STOP THA BOYZ FROM STEALIN YA DAKKA, TAKE OVA WEN SUM OV YA GET KRUMPED, AND HELP YA LOOK FOR THE BOMM THAT THE MEK PUT IN THERE. OI BET EVRRY TEEF OI GOT EE SNUKK A BIG BOMM IN THERE AS A JOKE.
AN NO SNOTS! GROTZ ONLY. YA MAY WANT SUMWUN TO BOSS ABOWT, BUT THEY'LL JUST MUK EVERYFING UP. WERK TOGEVVAH WIV YA MATES AN IN A TANK YA CAN THROW YA WEIGHT AROUND PLENTY. FOR THA FURST TOIME IN YA LOIFE, YOO GONNA GO WHERE YA WANT, AN OTHER GITZ ARE GONNA GET OUTTA YER WAY, OR THEY'RE GONNA GET SQUISHED. THATZ WOT ITZ ALL ABOWT BEING BIG AN KILLY LITTLE GROT. ENJOY THAT FEELIN.
WELCUM TO THAT WAAAGH. NEVVAH FORGET, EVEN IF YA IZ ONLY A GROT, YOO IZ STILL GREEN, AN THATZ BETTA THAN ANY OF THEM UTHA GITZ
IT REELY DOES BRING JOY TO MOI OLD HEART TO SEE GROTS FINALLY SHOWIN SUM IN-ISH-AH-TIVE.
OI NEVVAH THORT OI'D SAY THIS, BUT YOOZE, YOOZE A GUD GROT
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u/WRMN8R 9d ago
I like running 8 with rokkits surrounding my mega-tank. I also found some really cheap toy tanks and glued a bunch of gubbinz and dakka to them, saving many teefs