This breaks my heart. My "father" abandoned us when I was just a tot. Left and didn't call or anything. Met him as an adult. Formed a relationship with him and his wife and step-kids. Was never treated as an equal. Me and my siblings were always treated like second hand citizens. Something in me will always be broken. Your husband is a POS.
Even if Julian is acknowledged as you husband’s son, I would guess Julian would be treated as second class; not as good/worthy as the children you both had together.
You can keep trying to defend him, but the things your husband has done to this poor soul makes him a massive POS. I could not stay married to someone with morals like this.
My father told my half-siblings (unbeknownst to us) that we were family friends for years. I didn’t understand why they kept saying “my dad”; figuring that gem out was incredibly hurtful and damaging.
It also created a two-tiered system of “real” children and “real” siblings that persists to this day (one half sister advocating strenuously for myself and my siblings to be disinherited because we’re not my father’s “real” children).
Your husband and his mother are garbage human beings. Don’t let them turn you or your kids into the same. If it’s not what you would find acceptable for your own kids (assuming you’re a reasonably normal person), it’s not fit to inflict on another kid.
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u/DearReindeer8333 21d ago
This breaks my heart. My "father" abandoned us when I was just a tot. Left and didn't call or anything. Met him as an adult. Formed a relationship with him and his wife and step-kids. Was never treated as an equal. Me and my siblings were always treated like second hand citizens. Something in me will always be broken. Your husband is a POS.