“Truth or Dare?: A Critical Madness” (aka "Eliminator") (1986) - This insanely low budget, yet ambitious, little slasher was written by Tim Ritter when he was just 17 years old. A year later he would find himself co-directing the film alongside a one time producer who filmed it around Palm Beach, Florida. Ritter would continue writing and directing to this very day with his 2021 film "Sharks of the Corn" standing out as being particularly noteworthy. Unfortunately it's noteworthy mostly for its incredibly low IMDB rating of 1.9 so he might have actually peaked with this film.

The movies plot itself follows Mike Strauber who mentally snaps after catching his wife in bed with his best friend. He randomly gets obsessed with the titular game 'Truth or Dare', mutilates himself, ends up spending time in an asylum, makes and starts wearing a copper mask, eventually breaking out and going on a killing spree. He is headed to his ex-wife and former friends house, but his delusions means everyone he encounters is in danger. One of his first victims is even a baby, so you know immediately the movie is not holding anything back. The cops try to stop him of course but, because they are morons, most of the film is just Mike killing random people he runs into.

After watching this movie a few times I found out two rather interesting facts about it worth mentioning. For one, 'Backstreet Boys' member A.J. McLean apparently debut in the movie at the age of just nine years old. The other is that Elijah Wood apparently watched the film when he was just five years old and it was what made him fall in love with horror films. To this day it remains one his all-time favorite horror movies, and he has introduced it to several of his friends over the years. So I say if it's good enough for Frodo Baggins if gotta be worth checking out, so give it a try with friends and booze.

4.5 / 5 Burnt Kernels with Butter and Free Refills

https://youtu.be/iZXGotJaD_Y?si=jrK1QLyHadDDtfhu

"Modern Vampires" (aka "Revenant","Vamps") (1998) - This inconsistent dark vampire comedy was made by none other than cult musician and director Richard brother of Danny Elfman (Oingo Boingo, "Forbidden Zone" 1982). It stars Casper Van Dien of all people a year after he was nuking bugs on Klendathu, in one of the three times the actor was in a vampire movie. The other two times being the 2006 Sci-Fi Channel original "Slayer" and the 2004 cheesetastic "Dracula 3000" for anyone interested. Accompanying Johnny Rico on screen is an oddball cast including Kim Cattrall, Craig Ferguson, Natasha Lyonne, and Udo Kier as vampires living in LA dealing with a rouge vampire hooker, an oddly Italian Count Dracula, and former Nazi Van Helsing along with his crew of hired Crypts.

As far as the story specifics goes Van Dien plays a cocky vampire named Dallas who returns to LA after twenty years of exile due to his habit of biting people without permission. Count Dracula runs LA like a mob boss (right down to being played by Italian American actor Robert Pastorelli) these days. Further complicating things is the fact that a girl Dallas turned is drawing attention to the somehow still underground vampire community by killing random people and not covering it up. Not exactly sure how the vampire community remains hidden given just how many people they kill but I guess you just have to ignore that. On top of all that Van Helsing shows up seeking revenge for his disabled son (don't ask) and hires a bunch of Crips gang members to assist him killing vampires.

The dark comedy subgenre is notoriously difficult to get right and this movie doesn't exact nail it, but that doesn't stop it from being entertaining oddly enough. The attempts at comedy rarely work but the casts overacting and the absurdity of everything more than makes up for it. The movie is also really sleazy with full frontal nudity and even the gang rape of a vampire so watch out for that. In the end this is a fun flick to riff with friends and some adult beverages, just keep your expectations within reason.

2.5 / 5 Burnt Kernels with Butter and Free Refills

https://youtu.be/rWwnWOpzYkQ?si=HKSXLeiDOu0oWYWy

Anyone else see this weird movie?! Care to explain the last chapter?