A few years ago I was sitting alone in a café when a guy at the table next to me asked if I could take a photo of him and his girlfriend.

I said sure and took a couple. Then he quietly asked, “Can you take one more?” and showed me the ring in his hand.

I immediately realized what was happening and switched to video.

He proposed, she started crying, said yes, everyone around us clapped, and I handed the phone back feeling weirdly emotional for two people I’d never met.

I completely forgot about it after that.

Fast forward a few years and I’m at a friend’s wedding when this woman keeps looking at me from across the room.

Eventually she walks over and goes, “Wait… were you at a café in [city] a few years ago?”

It was her.

Apparently they still show that video to people when they tell the story of their engagement.

Such a weird feeling knowing there’s a random video of me going “oh my god” in the background of one of the biggest moments of someone else’s life.

does anyone else think about this? like i helped someone move boxes into their apartment in 2021, we talked for maybe 20 minutes, and i literally forgot about it completely. then last week they found me on instagram and sent this long message about how i was kind when they were going through something rough, and honestly it made me realize how much small moments matter to people. has something like this ever happened to you where someone remembered you way more than you remembered them?

I was eleven, back in school, and she was the first girl who was ever just my friend. Not a crush, not a girlfriend, just a friend. The first girl who was really in my life. And I've never forgotten her.

We were just kids in class, passing notes, laughing at stuff that probably wasn't even funny. She had no idea she was doing anything special. But she talked to me like I mattered, and at eleven, that's a big deal. I'm forty now. Thirty years gone, and I can still picture her. We lost touch the way kids do. No big falling out and life just moved us along. I never looked her up.

And here I am, thirty years later, still thinking about her. That's the thing about childhood friends, I guess. They don't stay, but they never really leave either.

I hope she's doing well out there somewhere.

Hey, you.

How many names do you remember from the people you used to work with?

Clink-clank.

The bell over the door announced the end of another day as I walked into Aoi and took my usual seat. Without a word, Mama set a glass of Harper in front of me. The ice gave a soft clink in the amber whiskey.

“You know, I’m terrible with people’s names.”

Taka looked over at me, his glass still in his hand.

“Where did that come from?”

“I was thinking about an old job today.”

“Okay.”

“There was this guy I used to work on project plans with. We’d go over them again and again. Review, revise, review again.”

“Sounds exhausting.”

“It was. We had lunch together almost every day too.”

“So you were pretty close.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

I took a sip of my Harper.

“I can’t remember his name.”

“What?”

“Not even his last name.”

Taka frowned.

“How long did you work together?”

“A long time. More than a year or two.”

“And you can’t even remember his last name?”

“Nope.”

“His face?”

“Sure.”

“What he did?”

“Sure. I can even remember which parts of the plans he handled. He was meticulous. Anytime I got sloppy with something, he’d send it straight back.”

“What else?”

“We usually went to lunch together.”

“What did you talk about?”

“Stupid stuff.”

“You remember that too?”

“Not all of it. But I remember some of the things he said that made me laugh.”

Taka tilted his head.

“But his name?”

“Gone.”

“That’s terrible.”

“That’s why it bothers me.”

Tom, who had been drinking quietly farther down the counter, joined in.

“Maybe you’re getting old.”

“That’s what I thought.”

“You’re not?”

“Then I realized I’ve always been like this.”

“Always?”

“I was forgetting people’s names left and right in my thirties too.”

Taka nodded.

“Then it’s not your age.”

“That somehow makes it worse.”

Mama chuckled behind the counter. I gave my glass a small swirl.

“Maybe I’m just not that interested in people.”

“Why would you say that?”

“You’d think I could at least remember the name of somebody I spent that much time with.”

“I don’t know if that’s normal or not.”

“What about you?”

“I’m pretty good with names.”

“That annoys me for some reason.”

“Why?”

“This must be the kind of thing that held me back. No wonder I never climbed the ladder.”

“You think remembering names gets you promoted?”

“People at the top always remember everyone’s name.”

“Sounds like a stereotype.”

“I don’t know. They remember more than I do.”

Tom set down his glass.

“Did you hate the guy?”

“No.”

“Did you not care about him?”

“Of course I cared. I trusted him at work. I liked having him around.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“The problem is I forgot his name.”

“Does remembering someone’s name mean you cared about them?”

“...Hell if I know.”

Put that way, I wasn’t sure.

His name was gone. But I could still picture the look on his face when he sent one of my sloppy drafts back.

Mama spoke as she folded a fresh hand towel.

“Kenichi, you hardly ever call people by name in the first place.”

“I don’t?”

“No, you don’t.”

I thought about it.

At work, if someone was sitting beside me, I’d just start talking to them. In a meeting, I’d look at whoever I was talking to. At lunch, I’d talk to whoever was sitting across from me.

There was hardly any reason to say anyone’s name.

“...Huh. I guess I don’t.”

Taka laughed.

“Then how do you get someone’s attention?”

“Normally.”

“What does ‘normally’ mean?”

“You look at them and talk. They know who you mean.”

“You go, ‘Hey, you’ or something?”

“I don’t do that.”

Tom looked over.

“Sounds like something an old guy from the Showa era would do.”

“Leave Showa out of this.”

Taka grinned.

“Maybe you forget names because you never use them.”

“Could be.”

“If you don’t use a name, of course you’re going to forget it.”

“Actually, that makes sense.”

For some reason, I found that reassuring.

Come to think of it, I hardly ever used people’s names at work. The more often I saw someone, the less reason there was to.

“...Wait.”

“What?”

“I can’t remember celebrities’ names either.”

Taka stared at me.

“Celebrities?”

“Yeah. I know their faces. I remember what shows they were in, what roles they played, all that.”

“But their names?”

“Gone.”

“Then calling people by name has nothing to do with it.”

“Apparently not.”

There went my nice little explanation.

Taka folded his arms.

“Then why can’t you remember names?”

“If I knew that, I wouldn’t be having this problem.”

“Don’t you have a favorite actor or actress?”

“Sure.”

“Who?”

“You know... that one.”

“Who?”

“The one who was in that show...”

“What show?”

“What was it? The one where they played a doctor or something.”

“That narrows it down to about a thousand people.”

“I’d know them if I saw them.”

“The name?”

“Shut up.”

Taka laughed. Tom snorted. I knocked back some Harper.

“I remember your names, at least.”

“Mine?”

“Koichi Takahashi.”

“Oh.”

“Don’t sound so surprised.”

“What about Tom?”

“Joji Tominaga.”

“Full name and everything.”

I felt a little better.

Mama smiled.

“What about me?”

“Shoko Watanabe.”

“See? You do remember names.”

“Of course I do.”

Taka nodded, satisfied.

“Then maybe you remember the people who really matter to you.”

“Is that how it works?”

“Well, you remember us.”

Something about that still didn’t sit right.

The guy whose name I couldn’t remember had mattered too.

We made project plans together.

We had lunch together every day.

When work got busy, we stayed late together.

At the end of the day, we’d say, “See you tomorrow,” and go our separate ways.

I remember doing that over and over.

Only the name is missing.

I let out a small sigh.

“Jeez. So this is how it goes. I forget people’s names, and eventually people forget mine.”

“Well, when that happens, just come here and forget all the bad stuff.”

Taka said it like he’d solved the problem.

“I don’t want to forget, damn it.”

Mama burst out laughing.

Tom laughed too.

Only Taka looked confused.

“What? That’s not it?”

“Not even close.”

Good grief.

Mama picked up my empty glass.

“Another?”

“Yeah.”

She poured another Harper over fresh ice.

Clink.

“Here you go, Kenichi.”

“Thanks.”

I took the glass.

The name still wouldn’t come.

Hey, you.

Is there someone whose name you can’t remember anymore—

but somehow, you still remember them?

See you at Aoi.
---

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Knights Among Us A Star Wars Tale

Standing on a plain just outside of his dwellings finding himself looking out into a valley just ahead of him. Akon a young gifted individual, has looked up into its galaxy on many of a night wondering about his abilities. Abilities that he had long since had from an early age. Gifts that would eventually lead him to become what he was destined to become. A Jedi Knight became like the other Knights who were before him. Others who had also become Jedi Knights that were known of the Knights of old

As Akon stood there as his dark brown hair blew around his brown amber eyes from the winds of the plains that carried with it the sounds of something coming. Something that would bring him to knowing and discovering more about himself. While meeting one who would also train along with him knowing of what they must face together.

Something that they could not face alone but would have to face with the help of the other knights. While learning to become like the knights of old Knights that once fought side by side in the Galaxy. With the force showing them the ones that they would have to search out while.

One would have to overcome what had transpired what she had lost along the way. Knowing that the one that was once like a brother to her was now the one that they must face. But before this tale, it was to unfold before us a tale that the Jedi had heard of years prior. A tale of one who would become like no other before him. A tale of one that they must now face a tale of the knights that were of old once faced.

They will now have to face the one called Raven but elsewhere in the Galaxy Jenna once knowing him to be like a bother to her. As Akon stood there feeling the force all around him as it said to him

“Go to her, find her”

Elsewhere as she stood there around having Who knows what might have been who knows what we could have maybe done differently if we could have again over. Knowing that the one you were close to now forever lost in darkness. A darkness that you felt as it slowly started to consume him over time, a darkness that had grown within him.

Knowing that no matter what, you tried all of the nights watching him as it was calling out to him. Beckoning to him, beckoning for him to come beckoning for him to become him. But no matter what, Jenna did not know what the outcome could’ve been that day, only knowing who she had lost along the journey. While later finding her own path to becoming a Knight like the Knights before her

While watching him slowly slide into darkness, slowly becoming something that he was also destined to become. With him being Alek as it called out to him, leaving Jenna now only knowing what may lie ahead of her. Knowing the different roads that each of them will now have to take to get there. Paths that would see them become who they would become as Jenna would find herself becoming a knight that was like the knights before her like the knights of old.

But in the end now what was now a new beginning for them as we now find themselves looking back on what happened to get us to where Jenna was now finds herself standing on a never ending ridge that extends for what seems to be for miles in each direction beside of her.

Jenna who is a 23 year old dark haired girl who herself was born on the outside of the Republic but always finds herself looking to within its galaxy. Having been born with a gift, a gift that would in time lead her to become a knight. While now looking to what else lies outside of this place that would await her beyond what her imagination could bring her.

But as they stood there right on the edge of a ridge looking out over into the hidden valleys of a canyon below. With her thinking to herself of where her path now will take her within a Galaxy that awaits her. She always kind of knew what was hidden within her but never really knew how to use it until she met him. A man that would become like a brother to her in a Galaxy that had many hidden secrets hidden within it.

With Alek being a young man around thirty years of age named Alek having long brownish hair and eyes. While not behaving like a big brother at times to Jenna and some of the others, also sometimes known as the exiled. He was looked upon as a leader of sorts to them for having not only shown Jenna and the others how to use their abilities.

But also about the world and worlds around them in the surrounding Galaxies that would take them on their journey. With them being Emma, another young girl of 23 years old, also born outside of the republic.

A girl having dark brown hair and eyes, always an outgoing girl with Jenna being the more down to the world girl. Emma was the outspoken one, sometimes finding herself questioning the decision of where they were going and why, never afraid to speak her mind. While our other exiled, a young man around twenty-five years of age named Reaver a dark skinned dark haired with eyes to match.

Also, another outgoing, outspoken figure never backing down to the decisions that he would also question. Knowing the trouble that some of his decisions would lead him but being the gunslinger that he was. An individual finding himself in between the on giong conflicts of control over the territories.

But being the gunslinger that he was her was always ready for whatever the outcome may have been. But unlike the others Reaver was born within the Republic with his parents escaping their world before the wars, wars that had been fought by several regions each looking for control.

With each having their own group, rebels with none wanting to submit to the other, leaving many groups on their own to their own. But with the four of them not really belonging to any group. They would just brand themselves as the exiled! With Alek, Jenna, and Emma having the ability to have the use of the Force

The three of them were force sensitive while Reaver was the gun slinger among them. Having the wits to match while knowing that his ability to blast his way out of almost any situation having got them out of trouble many times before.

But while the other three were forced sensitive, they had yet to come upon or have any lightsabers among them just yet. Leaving us to where we find Jenna now standing there looking out over the ridge looking up into the Galaxy above her recalling a vision. A vision seems like a dream in which she had many times on many of a night, a vision saying to her

“You shall and will seek out and find them, the other Knights”

Leaving Jenna to question the other Knights? Who were the knights? For they were also force sensitive just as she was. But as Jenna stood there looking up into the Galaxy, thinking back on what had happened before him before Revan.

Having thought that she had known Alek before for Alek had taken Jenna under his wing from a young age. knowing how much of a big brother that he had been to her before becoming Revan,now being a fierce ruler of the Republic. At one time being a big brother to her. But as Jenna stood there looking up out into the Galaxy, thinking to herself, how was she going to find the other knights?

What would she do if she was to once again come upon Alek? She knew that she herself would have to become a knight herself. While her Emma and Reaver would themselves search out the Galaxy for other knights.

But while Jenna stood there, looking up, thinking of how or where to even start thinking back on one particular vision. A vision showing her another just like herself another Force user. A young man looking to be in his early twenties having dark brown hair.

With Jenna not knowing his name at the time, only knowing that the dream was telling her to find him. For like her, he was also born on the outside of the Republic, for in time, she would learn that his name was Akon. But how was she going to find him? Was the question?

For Jenna herself was also going to have find her path on becoming a knight herself! But for now, let us go back to the beginning before him before Revan. Finding themselves on a distant world outside of the Republic outside of the Empire’s reach.

Where Jenna, Alek, Emma, and Reaver found themselves wondering into a Catina wearing clothing looking like refugees on the run themselves looking around to every kind of villainous scum from every corner of the Galaxy

As Alek would say to Reaver “Just try not to get us into anything that I have to get us out of again”

Just as Emma then spoke up, saying

“You getting him out of trouble? I think that I have saved his behind on more than one occasion” Just as a sassy android then approached Reaver saying to him

“Welcome to the dry hole of the desert. What can I get you”

But as Reaver is being Reaver saying to the android “You can get out of my face for starters I’m not talking to an android or anyone today or any day at that”

As Emma then just looked to him, saying

“Well then, how about you just go and talk to the Wookie in the corner then and try your best to not get us into anything this time”

As Reaver then just looked to Emma saying

“I don’t remember me getting us into anything trouble, but! You, on the other hand”

Just leaving Jenna just shaking her head saying to Reaver

“must you really start something with everything that you come across” with the ever looking Emma saying “now come on Jenna you know a lads got to have his fun” leaving Alek to being the older adult among them saying “Jenna’s right, we’re not here looking for any trouble now let’s just get something to eat or shall we just start yet another fight”

But trouble that day was soon enough going to find them for setting off in a darkened section of the Catina were a small group of so-called space pirates. That was part of a much larger organization that controlled that part of the Galaxy outside of the Republic.

A group of pirates consisting of several legions of soldiers some that were once part of an empire among other places all being lead by an ex Grand Commander who himself had deserted the Empire looking for more power and control of a local federation.

Basically, it's a greedy ex Commander who just wanted anything to be more like a crime lord. Having himself come from working with the likes of the Hutts from a young age. Now it's just a scraggy, tough-looking pirate of a crime lord who basically was in control of this Federation.

But sure enough, with Reaver being the gunslinger that he thought he was. Just as soon as he walked passed there was a little booth in the back. Being Reaver giving one of the pirates a look of! And you are who! And are you fast enough! Leaving the main one of that little pirate group saying to the others “why look here, boys, we got ourselves someone who thinks he is someone”

Leaving the rest of the pirate group to laughing as Emma just looked to Reaver saying

“Really Reaver! Do you think that you are really that bad ass of a gunslinger? Come on, who are you exactly trying to show off for?”

But with Reaver being Reaver never wanting to back down from a fight saying “ And just who you calling a boy” as the main pirate stood up running his fingers through his beard as he looked to the others before saying “Looks like we’re going to have ourselves a little fun with this one”

As more Wookiees that were setting over from them now cheering for it to happen Just as Jenna stepped in saying

“ Look! We’re are not looking for any trouble here” as Emma then stepped up next to Reaver, saying to him “ Well, looks like you done and done it now”

With Emma always looking forward to using her Force powers when it was called for, and soon enough, she would be using it more than ever. Just as Alek then stepped forward, saying to the pirate just as Jenna said

“we’re not here looking for any trouble” as the pirate then just looked at him as he then looked to the other pirates before saying “Well that’s just too bad! Cause we’re looking for trouble, and it looks like we just found some”

As Alek then turned to look at Jenna saying to her “Well at least we warned him” before force throwing him up to on and across the bar leaving the now confused pirate to looking up at an android asking him.

“Welcome to the dry hole of the desert. How may I serve you”

With Alek now looking once again to Jenna saying “ Well looks like he just got served” leaving Emma to smiling as she looked to Reaver before saying to him

“Oh this is going to be fun” before force throwing another pirate that was running towards them into a group of bounty hunters. As Reaver then yelled out “Let’s get this party started” as the small group of bounty hunters were now finding themselves in the mix along with everyone else.

But as it would be what was a small group of pirates was now turning into a much larger one with more running into the Cantina. As the droid up front was saying to each of them “Welcome to the Dry hole of the desert please make yourself at home as we serve you” as they ran passed it making there way into the fray

As one pirate took the opportunity to serve himself, gulping down a quick drink that was setting at the bar just before Emma walked up to him, saying to him

“Drink em up! Because on this flight we serve drinks”

just before force throwing him onto a Wookiee that was already agitated enough from the fighting around him. Now, he finds himself throwing a couple of pirates across the room before grabbing another drink for himself.

As Alek was now looking at Jenna saying to her “I love having fun just as much as the next person! But we’ve got to exit this little party here” As Jenna looked as dozens, more pirates came rushing into the Cantina. Jenna then turned back to Alek, saying to him “I have to think I agree with you. This party here is getting to be just a tad too much”

With Jenna, Alek, Emma, and Reaver now trying to find a back door to this place, leaving Reaver to saying “Why we leaving now? The party is just getting started” as Alek then looked to him, saying

“I’m sure they will be more than willing to ablige you” as Reaver then looked to a couple of dozen pirates standing there all pointing their blasters towards him.

As he then turned back to Alek, he said to him

“I like making a great exit as well myself”

As Alek just smiled at him before force throwing a table into the group. Making them miss their shot only to shoot into a group of even already agitated Wookiee’s that were already looking for a fight was now blasting their own blasters into the pirates.

As Jenna and the others made their way out the back as the group looked around, seeing a local polishing up his speeder. But unfortunately for him not seeing Jenna and the others now speeding away with his speeding as he was looking to a group of pirates being beaten up by a couple of Wookiee’s. He was now throwing his first up at Jenna and the others as they speeded away with his newly polished speeder.

As Reaver then said to the group “Don’t look now, but we got ourselves a little company” as a much larger barge pirate ship was now in full chase behind them. They made their way through the desert town, tearing down a couple of clothes lines along the way. leaving a very much angry local, throwing her fist at them as they speed by.

They made their way through the back ally’s as they were now coming to the out skirts of the locals housing just as Reaver looked back just as he said

“Don’t look now, but we are about to get raided by a bunch of pirates” as the barge pirate ship was now directly behind them, speeding up closer to them as Reaver shouted out to Alek

“Can’t this thing go any faster I’m not looking to be Keelhauled today” as Alek shouted back to him “this thing may not have speed but I’m pretty sure that we can lose them in the canyons just ahead of us”

But as Alek was trying to concentrate on the things at hand, something suddenly came over him, something that he had not experienced in quite a while. A voice taking him to what he would eventually become once a tale known from the knights of old. Now once again to become part of the force to be reckoned with as Alek could feel it slowly coming back into him just As a voice then suddenly came into him saying to him

“Come to me, join me, become him, show the Galaxy once more what he could be”

As Jenna was now noticing how Alek was acting, seeing him in deep like trance, asking him as she looked to him “Alek! What’s wrong? Is everything alright” but at the same moment, halfway across the Galaxy, a commander was informing his officers onboard their vessel of something.

In forming them that they were to pick someone up, someone of importance to them telling his officers to ready the fleet for their soon departure. As Jenna looked on to Alek as they were just about to make their way into the canyon, trying to elude the pirates barge ship.

While just above them on the outskirts of the planet was another vessel, a vessel that once belonged to the Empire now decommissioned being commanded by a once former commander of an Empire fleet himself. Was the now leader of the pirates monitoring the conversation of the Empires new commander hearing that one of the ones being chased by the pirates barge ship. Was now a valuable asset to the Empire, informing the captain of the ship to not lose sight of that speeder that was now deep inside of the canyon.

Now, having made their getaway for or at least, they thought, bringing the speeder to a stop as Jenna continued to look to Alek, placing her hand on his shoulder and asking him

“Are you sure everything is okay? I saw the look in your eyes back there. You know you can tell me”

As then, Alek turned to Jenna reassuring her that everything was okay and for them to make camp here for the night. But to Jenna the feeling just wasn’t leaving her she could feel him slowly sliding more and more away from her and into a darkness that would eventually consume him

But as Emma and Reaver got the camp ready for the night, Jenna could see that Alek standing to himself at the edge of the canyon. Making her way over to him, placing her hand on his shoulder as she looked to him. But before saying anything, Alek then placed his hand on hers, saying to her

“I know what you are going to say, and yes I’m fine” but as Jenna just looked to him, knowing that everything was not fine with him feeling that something inside of him was off. As she said to him “Look! I’ve known you for some time now, and you have been like a big brother to me. But I can feel that something inside of you is not right” as Alek turned to her saying to her

“ And just what are you feeling? You know that we share the same gift” as Jenna then placed her head his shoulder saying to him “it’s a feeling as if someone or something was trying to take you from me”

As Alek then placed his arm around, Jenna reassured her that everything was going to be alright as they both sat there on the edge of the canyon, looking at Dual suns setting together. Making their way back over to the camp were Reaver and Emma had a fire already going as Reaver then looked to Alek and Jenna saying to them

“So what’s the plan now boss” as Alek looked to him saying “The plan is to make our way out of the canyon tomorrow and off of this planet” just as Emma then said to them “You know back at the Cantina I over some bounty hunters talking about some lost Jedi temple hidden somewhere out here” as Alek then lol to Emma saying to her “We are not here to chase myths”

As Reaver spoke up saying “ Oh, come on! What’s a little adventure every now and then” as Jenna then turned to Reaver saying to him “ I think that we are on one now so how about we all try to get some rest for tomorrow” but elsewhere’s the commander of the pirate fleet was instructing the captain to search out the entire canyon for their little bounty.

Just as another commander on the other side of the Galaxy was preparing his fleet for departure for Alek. As Alek sat there by the fire with Jenna looking on. Still having the feeling that someone somewhere was slowly taking Alek away from her as she just sat there looking to Alek as more pirate barges have been dispatched looking for them.

Soon, the four of them were awakened by dual suns rising to the east of them as they made their way deeper into the canyon, being followed closely by the pirate barge ships. Another fleet was now making its way across the galaxy to where they were making their way through the canyon just as they happened to come upon something in the distance.

Just as Emma then jumped up saying “Oh my God, look everyone could it be a so called hidden Jedi Temple” as Alek just looked to her saying “ Now let’s not get carried away here there are a lot of abandoned temples out here” not just a hidden Temple but a massive Temple that rose high above the ground.

Just as Reaver then suddenly spoke up yelling “Hidden Temple or not! We are about to have company a lot of company” as a dozen or more pirate barges have ships were ascending upon them from all directions. While elsewhere’s in the Galaxy, another individual was making their way towards them with the individual being Akon the knight who was in Jenna’s visions.

Was now making his way towards them after having his own vision of her Jenna. With Jenna and the others now speeding their way towards the abandoned Temple with the pirates giving chase to them. As Reaver was shouting “Dam! I knew I was asking for an adventure, but this isn’t exactly what I was asking for”

While onboard of the main vessel of the Empires fleet a officer was asking the commander “And what are we to do with the others that are with him” as the commander looked to him saying “Leave no others alive he only wants him”

Jenna was once again looking to Alek, having the feeling that he was soon going to go from her. She placed her hand on Alek’s hand as he just looked to her as they came upon the entrance to the Jedi Temple. Quickly making their way inside with Reaver speaking up saying “Man if we make it out of this one, I hope that there is some good loot hidden in here”

As Emma just looked to him, saying

“Is that all that you think of loot bounty and drink” as Reaver then just smiled as he looked to Emma, saying

“No! I can think of other things as well, but I will let you know of what if we just happen to make it out of this one”

given a wink to Emma, with each of them being closer to the other more than either wanted to admit.

The four of them slowly made their way deeper inside of the temple, finding a couple of torches along the side of the wall, giving them some light. But not the kinda of lite that Jenna was wanting to see inside of Alek with her now feeling darkness begin to grow more inside of him. As Jenna reached for Alek’s hand as they made their way deeper inside of the Temple curious about what could be inside of here.

Just as they made their way into a room full of tall standing stone statues, statues of the knights that were once of a powerful group before. Jedi knights they were known as Jenna, remembering hearing the tale of the Jedi knights that once was. Thinking to herself, could they once again be? Remembering seeing the dreams along with the vision of other individuals, individuals much like herself.

Just as a vision suddenly came over her a vision showing Akon the knight that she would dream of seeing him making his way towards them. As the four of them stood there as the pirates just outside of the Temple were now slowly making their way inside towards them. Just as Alek then felt something, something was drawing him closer to one of the statues.

For lying up underneath the statue was an armor red and black. An armor that was forged by the finish Jedi craftsman of the time with it now calling out to Alek as Jenna looked to him. As a feeling suddenly came over Jenna. A feeling telling her that if he put that armor on the man that she once knew as Alek would be forever gone to her.

Just as Emma then shouted out saying “Look everybody is this really the weapon of the Jedi Knight” as Emma was now holding the very weapon of the Jedi Knights in her hand. As Jenna made her way over to her, not realizing that Alek had slipped away into the darkness with the armor.

As Jenna looked to the lightsaber that Emma was holding, seeing that another statue was holding a lightsaber in its hand. Just as Reaver then suddenly spoke up, saying

“ Hey, I hate to break it to you, but we are about to have company! Lots of company”

just as Jenna turned to see that Alek was now gone as the feeling came over her a feeling of she had lost him to the darkness.

But just above them just right above the planet, the fleet of the Empire was already there, just having deployed a fleet of Death Troopers down to the Temple. Just as hundreds of pirate soldiers were now blocking Jenna and the other way out as the captain then walked up to Jenna asking her where the other one was at.

The other being Alek, who had now made his way to the very top floor of the Temple, fully suited up with the armor just waiting for them to come upon him. As the captain then told the other pirate soldiers to go find him and bring him to him as he stood there next to Jenna. As he looked to Jenna saying to her “Soon all of you and your little friend will be guests of the commander”

But as the pirate soldiers made their way to the top floor of the Temple, unknowingly standing just right in front of them was death, just waiting to strike out at them. But just as one of the pirates then shouted out, saying

“Come out wherever you are. I promise that we want to hurt you”

Just as the room around them glowed red from the lightsaber that Alek was holding as he then shouted out, saying to her

“And I promise not to leave any of you alive for I am Revan!!!”

Just as Jenna now knew that the person she once knew as a brother to her was now forever gone from her. As the screams of the pirates from the top floor echoed throughout the Temple. As the captain then looked to Jenna and the others. An old scagging tough looking fellow with himself being a former commander himself of an Empire Fleet.

Standing there looking to the other pirates beside him saying to them

“Look here, boys! We have a little girl here who thinks that she is some sort of Jedi”

As he then laughed saying to Jenna “Soon enough your friend will be joining us, but for now, hand those over as the captain took the lightsabers and Reavers blaster from them just before exiting the temple. Walking out into a scene of a dozen or more barge pirate ships with thousands of pirates solders standing in front of them as the captain then turned to Jenna saying to her

“Your friend might as well give himself up. There is no way out of this for you. Now let us see if the good o’l Commander is willing to play ball with us. Your friend in exchange for nice little bounty”

As he then radioed up to his ship, his vessel just above the plant telling its captain to make contact with the commander of the Empires fleet if they wanted to make a little arrangement. But as the captain tried to negotiate with the commander of the Empire Fleet. As the commander had other plans as he then turned to one of the officers asking him if the Sith Troops were ready. Knowing that he had a little surprise for the former commander just as a fleet of ships carrying the Sith, troops suddenly came into view of the barge pirate ships.

As the commander of the Empire Fleet then ordered for his ship to blast the former commander vessel out of the sky as the chaos then erupted on the ground below with the Sith Troops emerging from the ships firing immediately upon the pirate soldiers.

And with a surprise and shock look from the captain of the pirates, Reaver then suddenly jumped into action, taking his blaster and the lightsabers from him. He then threw the lightsabers to Emma and Jenna just as he then yelled to Emma, saying to her

“You sure you know how to even use that thing” as Emma just smiled back to Reaver, saying to him

“Well of course I do! Shall I give you a little demonstration here”

Just as a pirate then suddenly ran upon Emma but unknowingly to her she had the lightsaber backwards with its beam extending out into another pirate that was just behind her as Reaver took care of the pirate that was in front of her as. As Reaver then just looked to Emma saying to her

“I thought that you knew how to use that thing” as Emma just gave him a smile as she forced a couple of pirates that had come upon Reaver as she then said to him

“You know it’s a good thing that I’m here to watch your back for you”

As Reaver then just gave her a quick smile before jumping back into action as Jenna held her lightsaber looking back at the Temple looking for Alek even though she was now only feeling darkness surrounding him just then above them in the sky. As the Empire was firing upon the pirates, the vessel that was in flight was now braking apart as it slowly started its ascent to the ground below. As Raven continued easily taking the pirates out one at a time in the Temple

As the fighting just outside of the Temple was intensifying, another individual was now just making his way onto the planet being Akon. As he made his way towards the Temple approaching their location. Just as pieces of the captains ship was now crashing into the Temple all around Revan as he just fought around it.

With the captain now certain that he was in no way winning, this fight got onto one of his pirate barges. Before making his escape as other pirates tried to make their escape as well just Akon landed his ship.

Just as a feeling suddenly came over Jenna as she turned to see Akon walking from out of ship, she knew who he was by the visions. As he motioned for Jenna and others to quickly come as Jenna looked back to the Temple, hoping that Alek would soon emerge, and he did as Reven.

As Jenna looked to Alek, she knew deep down that Alek was still here even though she was now looking at Revan as he began walking towards them with all of the Sith Troops gathering behind him. As Akon was shouting to Jenna

“Come on, he is gone! We don’t have time to argue! We have to leave now”

As Emma and Reaver made their way onto the ship soon, followed by Jenna as she took one last look back to Alek just as the captains ship started crashing into the ground between them. As Akon, Jenna, Emma, and Reaver took flight as the rest of the ship crashed into the ground as Revan looked to them as he watched Akon’s ship leave his view.

As Jenna looked to the Galaxy ahead of her while looking back with a feeling of why? Why did we leave him? As she could feel Alek as the left Alek’s view, leaving Jenna even more upset. As she then confronted Akon

“Why? You tell me just exactly why we just left him there? He’s not dead! I can still feel him”

As Akon then looked to Jenna knowing that her emotions was taking her away from where she needed to be right now knowing that if she didn’t start to let go then she herself would slowly descend into the dark side herself. As Akon looked to her, placing his hand on her shoulder, she said to her

“Look there is going to be a lot of things that you don’t want to hear right now, and don’t understand everything that is happening but there are something’s that you going to have to let go off”

As Jenna looked to him saying

“Let go of him! I’m never letting go of my friend, a person who was like a brother to me I’m not letting go of him”

As Akon looked at Jenna knowing that she still had a long path ahead of her in order to become a Knight like the ones who were before them. as he said to her

“He’s not your friend no more, he’s Now Revan! The one that together we will have to face”

With Akon knowing the path that was awaiting both of them would be a hard one, knowing that Jenna would have to overcome a lot. Knowing that in time that they would have to become like the ones that were before them that in time that they themselves would become knights. Like the knights of old knowing that they would have to search out other knights, for somewhere out there they were other

Knights Among Us

Nada never thought that one day she would leave the city where she had achieved so much and excelled for years and that everything would become a memory...

Nada, 30 years old, was an Arabic teacher at one of the schools in the city where she lived. She led a beautiful life and was known for her humility. Every morning, she would wake up and get ready to head to school with love, as if she were going to her second home…

Nada loved her profession dearly and taught her students with great affection; she treated them wonderfully because she believed that every child has a story to tell and dreams to pursue…

Nada lived in a small, modest apartment.

One day, after finishing her class with her young students, Nada left for home. When she arrived, it was nearly 3:00 p.m. She set her bag on the table and went to the kitchen to make herself a cup of coffee. She sat down and placed the cup of coffee in front of her, when suddenly her phone rang.

She wondered to herself, “Who’s calling me now?”

It was a coworker.

She answered in a calm voice:

Good evening, colleague.

He replied:

Good evening, Ms. Nada. The manager told me he wants you in his office tomorrow morning; it seems there’s something important he wants to discuss with you.

She replied in surprise:

Did something happen?

Her coworker replied:

He didn’t tell me what happened.

She hung up the phone, and Nada kept thinking about this important matter, talking to herself, and convincing herself that it wasn’t worth worrying about too much.

She didn’t sleep well that night; instead, she tossed and turned in bed, thinking about the important matter the principal wanted to discuss with her and wondering: Had one of her students made a mistake?

It never crossed her mind that the important matter awaiting her would completely change her life.

How hard it is to wait! She counted the hours, waiting for daylight so she could head to school and find out what the very important matter was that her colleague had called about.

The next morning, just like every day, Nada got ready to go to school. She entered the principal’s office and sat down in front of him, waiting to hear what the important matter was. The principal was shuffling through the papers in front of him, a smile absent from his face, and he avoided looking at her.

Nada felt afraid and asked him anxiously:

What’s the important matter? Is there a problem?

The principal set the papers aside and sighed, saying:

“Nada, you’re a hardworking teacher I can attest to that and I have no complaints about you. But circumstances were beyond our control and forced us to close the school due to a financial crisis. We’ve received a decision to transfer some teachers to schools in other areas.”

Nada felt a lump in her throat, as if the world had gone dark before her eyes.

She replied in a sad tone, her voice choked with emotion:

“And what about me?”

The principal looked at her and said:

“If you want to keep your job, there’s a vacancy at a rural school in a remote village, and you’ll have to agree to the transfer procedures.”

Silence fell over the office…

Nada said in a sad voice:

“Isn’t there another option?”

The principal replied:

“Unfortunately, no…”

Nada hurried out of the principal’s office, clutching the appointment letter in her hands, tears streaming down her face. She walked through the school hallway, and memories began to flash before her eyesthe voices of her students and their laughter… She wondered how she could possibly leave the school she used to come to every morning with such love? How would she leave the city where she had lived all these years? How would she adjust to a new life in a place where she knew no one?

Nada returned to her apartment, closed the door, and sat down on the floor. For the first time, she felt completely helpless; she was used to solving every problem with the greatest of ease...

She started thinking of a solution, but she couldn’t find an option, and she found herself deeply confused, so she decided to call one of her friends at school...

She called her closest friend, Salma.

“Salma, I need to talk to you…”

“What’s wrong? Are you crying?” Nada tried to compose herself, but she couldn’t…

“Salma, I have to move to a village far away to keep my job because the school is closing…”

Her friend replied:

“And did you agree to move?”

“I don’t know. I have no choice I’m forced to do this...”

Salma said gently:

“Sometimes life forces us down paths we didn’t choose, but that doesn’t mean everything that awaits us there is bad...”

The call ended…

A week passed, and Nada kept putting off her move to the village, until she received a message confirming that she had only a few days left before starting her new job… There was no more time to hesitate…

The next morning, Nada woke up early and packed her bag to leave… She turned to look at her apartment, her desk, and her books, then turned off the lights and walked out, slowly closing the door behind her 

the door behind which she left happy memories...

She made her way to the bus station carrying her bag, boarded the bus, and sat by the window... The bus pulled away, and she watched the city and its streets, reminiscing about every place they passed...

Nada knew nothing about the village that awaited her, nor about its residents, nor about the house where she would be staying... A thousand questions swirled in her head...

All she felt was sadness because she had left behind a life she wasn’t ready to lose...

The bus continued on its way, and the tall buildings gradually gave way to green spaces, then to narrow roads surrounded by hills. After hours on the road, the driver announced that they had arrived at the village...

Nada lifted her head and looked out the window, seeing modest homes, children running barefoot and playing in the dirt, a vast sense of tranquility, a clear sky, and fresh air...

She picked up her bag and got off the bus, then stood there, contemplating the place where she would create new memories of her life...

But what caught her attention were the young children running around carrying pieces of bread or small twigs; none of them had a wallet or a book in their hands...

Nada turned to a woman standing by the roadside to ask her about the village school...

The woman looked at Nada and replied in surprise:

“School?! There’s no school here...”

Nada froze in her tracks...

“What? Then where do the children go to school?”

But I wonder… Will Nada resign herself to the reality of village life, or will she be able to change her children’s fate and restore light and hope to their hearts?

Three years ago I lost my wallet on a train home. I had just been laid off, I was down to my last few dollars, and I remember thinking the day couldn’t get worse.

Two days later, a package showed up at my door. Inside was my wallet, with every card and even the cash I thought was gone. There was also a folded note in handwriting I didn’t recognize:

“You dropped this. I found it the same week I lost my own job, and I know what it feels like. Hope things turn around soon.”

There was no name and no return address. I looked everywhere for the person who sent it, and I never found them.

I kept the note in the wallet ever since. A few months later I found a new job, and the first thing I did with my first paycheck was leave an extra-large tip for a waiter who looked exhausted.

I never got to thank the stranger who sent it, but I try to pass it on whenever I can.

Has a stranger ever done something small that stuck with you?

CHAPTER 3 Keiran

Everyone has a moment when they realize they're going to die. I can see it on her face right now; she looks. Breathtaking, all scared,d trying her best to get out of those ropes; s, she looks like a mouse in a glue trap. Can't move, but they try their best to escape, but they never do. They starve and die. They stay there till they rot, and someone notices the smell and throws them out cause their lives didn't matter to them; they were just a rodent, they were a burden to regular people's lives....it reminds me of someone who is long gone, someone weak, someone who was treated like a burden; thinking about it pisses me off. I look back at her; she's still? Has she already given up? I decide to take off her tape and have her desperate plea to be let go; I rip the tape off her mouth, her skin red. She doesn't even look up at me; she doesn't even say anything. Did she die from crying and struggling? Can that happen? "Ow..." Nope, still alive. "Are you done playing dead, sweetheart?" She's starting to piss me off. Why won't she talk? I raise her head gently, like she's a porcelain doll, so she looks at me; I don't want her to break yet. "Baby, look at me; you're starting to piss me off." I brush her hair that was sticking to her face from the sweat, and her eyes are red from crying; so is her face. She finally looks at me; her deep green eyes stare at me, her pupils enlarged; adrenaline must not have worn off. "Oh, my sweet, you look exhausted. Are you?" I want her to speak; I want to hear her voice like the last time on the bus, when I sat in her seat. She paused for a second and said it was ok; she had a voice that sounded like she couldn't even hurt a fly. "Come on, doll, if you speak, you get a reward."She opens her mouth like she's about to say something; I yearn to hear her talk, talk to me, only me. "What do you want from me?" she sniffles, trying her hardest not to cry again geez is this what yearning is, to have a deep, intense longing for someone you know you can't have? "Good girl your so good for me. You did amazing. Now, for your reward," I kiss her forehead; she doesn't move her head away from it, maybe cause shes to tired to or something else; I don't care, she's in my arms now.

Chapter 4 coming soon

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See ya, my danadilions

6. Slow Down

Night Boat to Cairo blasts from the speakers at the Crest, and Jammy watches in panic as the Manor boys burst out through the fire exit doors. He cringes. This is it. He closes his eyes and waits for the pain to follow.

Nothing.

He opens one eye just in time to see Pete Fur crash through the packed dance floor, followed by the rest of the Crow Bars, pushing bodies out of the way like skittles before disappearing through the same fire doors.

Jammy stands there, not quite sure what to do. Perhaps he should make his exit. They might come back. Good idea, James, he tells himself.

He slips out through the main doors and into the night, looks both ways like he's about to cross the road, then heads the fifty yards or so down to the bus stop. The street's gone quiet behind him, the music from the Crest fading to a dull thump through brick, like something happening in another building entirely.

Young Bob is already there — easy to miss, if anything, same year as Jammy but a different animal entirely, no crew, no colours, still one of the ones from the school hall who never picked a side. The girl standing next to him is impossible to miss. Tall, blonde, properly beautiful — the kind that makes Jammy forget Young Bob's even there.

"Young Bob."

"Jammy."

They nod.

The girl looks at him. "Jammy? That's an unusual name."

Jammy perks up. "Yeah, it is."

"Sounds kinda cool. What's it mean?"

"It's short for James," Young Bob says.

Jammy slowly turns and scowls at him. "My friends call me Jammy. It's my street name." Hopefully that sounded fairly hard, he thinks, giving the word "street" a bit extra, for Young Bob's benefit. "What's your name?" he asks the girl.

"Fiadha."

"Fear?"

"Fee-a."

"Right." Jammy nods as if that makes perfect sense. "Hey, we've both got cool names."

Fiadha smiles, tucking a loose strand of hair back off her face like it's been trying to escape all night. Young Bob rolls his eyes.

"I'm cold," Fiadha says, rubbing her arms — the battered leather jacket doing nothing against a dress that looks like it was meant for somewhere smarter than a bus stop.

Jammy thinks about offering her his coat. Could be smooth. Could be weird. Better not.

She glances off down the road, distracted, like she's only half listening to her own sentence before she's even finished it. "I'm going to drive home," she says.

Jammy and Young Bob look at each other. Jammy says what they're both thinking. "You've got a car?"

"Yeah.Kind of”

"So why are you waiting at the bus stop?"

Fiadha laughs. "Sometimes I forget I can drive."

Young Bob stares at her. "Okay."

"Want a lift?"

No hesitation. "Yeah," says Jammy. "Where's your car?"

"Let try up here."

Fiadha starts walking. Jammy follows her. Young Bob follows Jammy. Jammy looks back at him as if to say, What are you doing? Young Bob shrugs as if to say, No idea, but it's better than the bus.

They walk a little further.

"Where is it?" Jammy asks.

"Erm..." Fiadha looks around. "Oh. There it is."

An old beige Austin Allegro sits at the kerb.

Jammy looks at it. "Nice."

"Thanks, James."

"Jammy."

"Sorry. Jammy."

"Right then. Let's get in."

Fiadha pats her pockets. "Oh no."

"What?"

"I think I've lost my keys."

"Nightmare."

"I'm always doing that."

Young Bob points back towards the Crest. "Are they back at the club? Should we go and check?"

Jammy remembers Pete Fur. The Crow Bars. And the way they'd just charged through the dance floor.

"No. That's a bad idea."

"Yeah," says Fiadha. "It's freezing. I'll pick them up later."

She reaches into her bag and pulls out a screwdriver. Jammy flinches backwards. Fiadha giggles.

"It's okay. I'm always forgetting my keys, so I carry this just in case."

Jammy looks at Young Bob. Young Bob looks at Jammy.

Fiadha bends down and expertly pokes the screwdriver into the car door. "Little trick my brothers taught me."

The lock pops.

Jammy's already hooked. Tall. Blonde. Older. Drives. What's not to like?

This is highly suspicious, some quieter part of him tries to say. A screwdriver in the door lock isn't exactly how beautiful women usually get into their cars.

He ignores it. Look at her. Wow.

She forgot her keys and just broke into a car — correction, her car, possibly. That's absolutely normal. All beautiful blondes do that. Everyone knows this.

Jammy's just done to himself what he does to everyone else. He's sold himself a line.

"Jump in," says Fiadha.

They pile into the Allegro. Young Bob settles into the back.

"So how do you start it?"

Fiadha smiles. "Oh, that's easy."

"Easy, Young Bob," Jammy says confidently.

Fiadha sticks the screwdriver under the steering column and starts pulling at it. Jammy's smile fades slightly.

"Just a second."

She fiddles with something underneath, sparks flickering faintly in the dark footwell. The engine coughs. Splutters. Then bursts into life.

Jammy turns to Young Bob, with a nervous laugh. "Easy."

Fiadha grips the steering wheel. "Okay, gentlemen. Where do we want to go?"

"We live on the Manor," says Young Bob.

Jammy elbows him. Then, in his best James Bond on-the-pull voice, he leans towards Fiadha. "Well... the night's young. Let's go for a drive."

Fiadha smiles. "Okay. Let's go for a drive."

Jammy can't believe his luck. His face breaks into a huge grin.

Young Bob leans forward. "You sure?"

Jammy looks at him. "Why are you still here, Young Bob?"

Young Bob shrugs. "Okay. I'm in for a ride."

"We can drop Young Bob off," says Jammy, looking at Fiadha, "then I'll take you for a spin." He pauses. "In the car. Not you. You know. I wasn't being weird."

Fiadha giggles. Young Bob rolls his eyes again.

The Allegro tears away from the kerb. At top speed. Fiadha drives like Stirling Moss on speed. Jammy and Young Bob cling on for dear life as the car bounces and bucks along the road.

"Let's have some music," Fiadha says.

"Good idea," says Jammy, gripping the door handle.

The boys slide across the seats as the Allegro hits another bump.

"Now, where's that radio?"

Young Bob leans forward. "You've lost the radio?"

Fiadha takes her eyes off the road and starts feeling around the dashboard. The Allegro drifts across the centre line.

Jammy's eyes widen. "Oh, Jesus."

Fiadha jerks the wheel back. "Oops."

Jammy looks into the back. "What's happening, Young Bob? Have I died?"

Young Bob doesn't answer. He's got his eyes tightly shut. Hopefully this will save him.

"Here we are!" says Fiadha.

House of Fun blasts from the speakers.

Jammy nods. "Great song. But I think I'm ready to—"

The Allegro screeches around a roundabout. Jammy is thrown against the passenger door.

"Oh God!"

Fiadha laughs. "This is fun, James!"

"My friends call me Jaaaaammyyy!"

They fly around the roundabout for a second time.

"You're cute, Jammy."

"I know. But maybe we should slow down a little."

"We can't now."

Jammy looks at her. "Why's that?"

Fiadha glances in the mirror. "Cops."

Jammy turns. Blue lights.

"Oh, shit."

"Don't worry. I can lose them."

"Lose them?"

Jammy grips the dashboard. "Please, God. Let me live."

Fiadha laughs. "Jammy, you're a joker."

Jammy looks into the back. "Bob, are you dead?"

Young Bob opens one eye. "I think so."

The police car gives chase. Fiadha floors it. The Allegro shoots off the roundabout and towards the estate, streetlights strobing across the windscreen, the tower blocks rising up ahead like they're the only fixed thing left in a world that's stopped holding still, bouncing over the road with the police car behind them.

Jammy is thrown from side to side. "Slow down!"

Fiadha laughs. Then suddenly she swings onto the estate and slams on the brakes.

"Out!"

All three pile out. The night air hits cold after the fug of the car, and for a second nobody moves. The sound of the police car is getting closer.

"This way!" shouts Fiadha.

Young Bob is already sprinting in the opposite direction, gone before anyone thinks to call after him.

Jammy and Fiadha look at each other. His face says, what happened? Hers says nothing back but oops.

"Well, Fiadha, you are one fit bird..."

She smiles.

"...but you're crazy as bat shit."

Jammy turns and races off after Young Bob.

Slow Down by The Jam pumps out of the Allegro's open doors as the blue lights close in.

Betrayal Of The Heart:

The Choice To Stay Or Walk Away...

This is a story so many have unfortunately lived through one that stays with us long after the betrayal of those we trusted to safeguard our hearts.

It is the quiet ache that never truly heals the question you carry in your chest long after the words have stopped. Even when they convince you they would never hurt you as others have done.

We allow our infatuation with someone who desires us to drop the shield we have held for so long the one we used to protect ourselves from pain and we place our heart and soul into them, believing this person would be different.

We hand them our most fragile parts and say: here don't break what I could not protect myself from.

That we have found someone who has felt the pain of betrayal and would never inflict it upon another.

That is the hope that blinds us we think because we know the cost of pain, they must know it too.

It is human nature to be trusting.

We abandon all logic and reason when desire and lust become our driving force.

That logic we would normally hold goes silent, and we are driven by an insatiable need our lust becomes an addiction, wanting nothing more than to be with the person we crave most.

It is not just them we want it is the version of ourselves we see through their eyes: worthy, chosen, finally enough.

Desire is a powerful emotion especially when you are desired by someone you never imagined would want you in return

It can make you feel invincible, as though you can achieve anything.

It boosts your confidence so much the high becomes almost euphoric as though the universe has answered your prayers

Giving you someone you could never imagine you would ever end up with.

And for a moment just one shining moment you believe you were finally rescued from your own loneliness.

Just like yin and yang, there is also an opposite.

To desire someone you know you can never be with can lead to disappointment difficult to recover from.

It strips you of your confidence knowing the object of all your desires will forever be out of reach, existing only in dreams of a life you wish you could live together.

And that quiet heartbreak prepares you without you even knowing for the louder one that follows.

If you find someone you believe wholeheartedly would never betray your trust and who never gives in to the temptation to live two lives instead of one then you have truly found a diamond in the rough..!!!!

Most of us never find that.

Most of us find something that glitters only to discover it was never gold at all.

There is a new culture that has risen one where those who no longer want relationships that hold them accountable believe it is normal to have multiple partners.

They compete secretly against each other without ever knowing it this is the new normal of social media and dating apps a world that has allowed and increased betrayal in relationships everywhere.

Attention has become a currency and loyalty, a relic no one remembers how to keep.

So I ask you honestly…

How many times can you be betrayed by the very person you could never imagine would lie to your face still playing innocent, telling you there is no one they could love more than you while living a separate life with someone else, telling them there is no one like them they could imagine being without?

How do you look at the same eyes that swore faithfulness and realise they were rehearsing another promise to someone else at the very same time?

Trust has become a temporary relief even when you pour everything into a relationship because you genuinely believe the person in front of you is the only one you want.

You build a home and a family with them. They become your heart and soul the emotional home you built everything inside.

You laid every brick with your own hands your hope, your loyalty, your years only to find they were never truly living there.

Only to be broken by their betrayal. It shatters your expectations of someone you should have known would one day repeat the same pattern of destructive behaviour seen in every relationship that came before them.

So why are we so surprised when the penny drops and the mask falls away?

Because we wanted to be the exception.

We wanted to believe our love was strong enough to change what generations could not.

You did not fail for trusting them you failed for believing they would value what you gave them more than what they wanted for believing they could live two lives out of greed,

lying to both, while never seeing that their actions would destroy not one life, but two.

And it does not stop there the children carry the weight too.

You gave them your whole world. They gave you nothing but proof they were never truly in it.

We do not give our hearts away easily we hand them over only after we have convinced ourselves this time, this person, will be different.

That is the lie we tell ourselves as truth. It is not the lie that breaks you it is the realisation they rehearsed it so perfectly you could not tell the lie from the truth.

The most painful thing is not that they lied it is that you would have told them the truth even if it cost you everything.

The cruellest betrayal is not the moment they leave it is the moment they look you in the eye and tell you there is no one else, while their heart already lives somewhere else.

And they keep lying even in the moments of intimacy, they hide the truth behind a smile.

"They touched you with hands that were holding someone else. They spoke to you with words they had already spoken to another and you never knew.

To love two people at once is not passion it is taking from both until there is nothing left of either. What you keep hidden will always surface eventually.

The story you tell begins to fall apart, and in that moment, your whole world comes crashing down.

What may have started as curiosity has led to the moment your betrayal finally comes to light.

Secrets do not stay hidden forever they breathe they grow and eventually they consume everything.

They traded a lifetime you were building together for a moment someone else gave them and called it happiness.

Because the safety of a real relationship was never enough to fill what was empty inside them.

They crave validation from others to feel something they cannot find within themselves and chaos feels more familiar to them than peace ever could.

"They did not leave because you were lacking. They left because they were empty — and no amount of your love could ever fill what was broken inside them.

The hardest choice is not leaving them it is choosing to stop choosing someone who will never choose you first you become convenient to their needs of you and the moment you are no longer useful, you are erased and replaced.

They already have someone waiting in the wings, ready to take your place the moment things fall apart.

You were never their priority. You were just the one they knew they could count on — to be there while they looked for someone else.

You cannot rebuild yourself in the same place that broke you into a thousand pieces. Only you can put the pieces back together. Loyalty is not a gift you keep giving to someone who has already walked away.

You do not owe them another chance at your heart especially when they already proved they know how to break it.

Being loyal to someone who is disloyal is not love it is giving away pieces of yourself that you will never get back.

Trust is not temporary. If it is, it was never real.

Do not mistake their need for attention for your worth to them.

You are not a placeholder. You are not a backup plan.

You are not someone's comfort zone while they chase excitement elsewhere.

It is not your job to be loyal to someone who is only loyal when it is convenient.

Love that shows up only when it costs nothing is not love at all.

The mask always falls.

The truth always stands alone. And when it does it does not ask for permission.

It just changes everything.

Some people do not deserve a second chance.

They deserve to live with the truth.

You built an emotional home for them to live in

and they walked out.

And left it empty.

That home is no longer theirs to keep.

It is yours to heal.

Yours to rebuild.

Yours to finally come home to

This time, I promise to never build my emotional home in someone who does not build their home in me.

Because loyalty is not just the absence of cheating

It is the betrayal of the heart

To keep you-

Without ever having to choose you..

Hey, you.

When they ask, “Do you need a bag?” at a convenience store, what do you usually say?

Clink-clank.

The bell over the door rang as I walked into Aoi and took my usual seat. Mama set down my Harper without asking. The ice gave a soft clink in the glass.

Beside me, Taka was pulling a bag of potato chips out of a convenience-store bag.

“You bringing your own snacks now?”
“They’re for Mama.”
“Then say that first.”
“I just did.”

Mama peered at the bag.

“Seaweed and salt.”
“You like those, right?”
“I do.”

I took a sip of whiskey and looked at the now-empty plastic bag.

“How much did they charge you for that?”
“The bag? Five yen.”
“They still charge for those?”
“Of course they do. They’re not free anymore.”

Fair enough.

“Why did they start charging for them in the first place?”
“For the environment, right?”
“What part of the environment?”
“What part? I dunno. The planet?”
“Going big, aren’t you?”

A little farther down the counter, Tom exhaled cigarette smoke.

“To cut down on plastic, wasn’t it?”
“I get that. But how much difference does it actually make?”

Taka stopped opening the chips.

“What do you mean?”
“Global warming. Stuff like that.”

Something I’d seen somewhere came back to me.

“Wasn’t there some estimate saying that even if Japan cut its carbon dioxide emissions to zero, the effect on global temperature would only be something like 0.006 degrees Celsius?”
“That little?”
“No idea. I just remember seeing the number somewhere.”

The moment I said it, something bothered me.

The number was all I remembered. I couldn’t remember who had calculated it, or what assumptions they had used.

And yet I’d just said it as if it proved something.

Taka pulled out his phone.

“Want me to look it up?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“...I have a feeling we’ll understand even less afterward.”

Tom laughed.

“Nice to see you finally learning.”
“Shut up.”

It still bothered me.

Cut down on plastic. Cut carbon dioxide emissions. Governments and companies spend money to make those things happen.

Fine. I understood that much.

But money isn’t unlimited.

“Wouldn’t it make more sense to spend that money on levees or earthquake-proofing? At least you can see how that saves people.”
“For floods and earthquakes?”
“Yeah.”

Then something else occurred to me.

“No, wait. Elder care.”
“Elder care?”
“They’re short on people. And it’s not like you can just keep raising what care facilities get paid every time prices go up. So put money into equipment and systems instead. Help one person do more work.”
“Would that be better?”

My mouth stopped.

“...I don’t know.”
“You don’t know again?”
“Shut up. I’m thinking.”

Taka laughed and popped a chip into his mouth.

Spend the money on disaster prevention, and you still don’t know where the next disaster will strike. Spend it on elder care, and you don’t know how much labor the investment will actually save.

And when it came to carbon dioxide, I couldn’t even tell you where the number I’d just quoted had come from.

“So how are you supposed to decide?” Taka asked.
“If I knew that, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”
“But somebody has to decide, right?”
“...Yeah.”

Tom stubbed out his cigarette in the ashtray.

“You decide. If you’re wrong, you change it.”
“You make it sound easy.”
“I didn’t say it was easy.”

I lifted my glass. The half-melted ice slowly shifted inside it.

Decide, then change it if you’re wrong.

I’d said something like that before.

To whom?

I thought for a moment, and the faces of Sho and the others came to mind.

They couldn’t move because they didn’t have the answer. They were afraid of getting it wrong, so they waited for someone else to tell them what was right.

What had I told them?

“...Don’t stand still waiting for the right answer.”

Taka looked up.

“What was that?”
“Nothing. Different conversation.”

Mama picked up the empty potato chip bag.

“Taka, you taking this home?”
“Nope.”

She dropped it straight into the trash.

After all that thinking, apparently the bag right in front of us was an easy decision.

Hey, you.

Do you need a bag?

See you again at Aoi.
---

Want another night at Aoi?

Step back inside. We'll help you find your next story.

→ Welcome to Bar Aoi

Redemption To Redeem Yourself:

Belongs Only To The Brave Of Heart;

That Comes From A Single Act Of Courage..

No matter who you are or where you are this story is one we all know. Some of us will not know this until our eyes have been opened, and in that moment — it may be one of the greatest feats of your life.

It takes so much to be honest with yourself. It takes even more courage to admit to your mistakes — especially those that have had the greatest effect in shaping who you are right now.

Time gives us the virtue of wisdom to reflect and see where we failed ourselves: out of pride, out of ego, driven by greed to feed the gluttony that fuels addictions within us.

We lose all that we are, desperate to find some sense of the person we once knew.

Yet time also gives us insight into our own faults so we can learn from what led us astray. And what led us astray can also teach us even through observing those around us, we gain clarity on our own shortcomings.

We all have a choice: to learn from the past so our mistakes never become our children’s inheritance. They should never carry our pain.

To be a parent is to be better than those who raised us — to give them what we were never able to have.

Unconditional love — given freely, never taken away because of our own selfish need to punish. Because every action a parent takes good or bad is seen through their child’s eyes, and carried within them always.

There may come a day when you lose a parent and the unfiltered truth of who they really were changes everything.

You may see clearly how you have repeated their failures, how the pattern was passed down to you.

So I ask you now — as a truth you are willing to face:

Will you redeem yourself in the eyes of your child

will you pass down the same failures handed to you or will you rise?

Will you become the worst version of what you were given or will you become the better version they never could be or will you break the cycle that has lasted generations?

The hardest truth to speak is not the one that shocks the world it is the one that finally admits to yourself: I fell short of the person I aspired to be.

I fell short of never making the same mistakes by looking in the mirror and seeing the best version I want to be for my children.

To be a parent is not to repeat what was done to you it is to rewrite the story so your child never has to live your experiences.

No matter how fiercely we try to protect their innocence — sometimes life brings things we cannot shield them from.

But listen closely: You do not have to be perfect to be a good parent you only have to be brave enough to never let your child feel shame for what happens to them for what is beyond are control.

In those moments, it is your responsibility to stand with them to say: I will not judge you I will not turn away my love for you is unconditional..!!!!

Redemption is not about erasing what happened it is about making sure it does not happen again. What was handed to us does not belong to us to keep it belongs to us to heal.

We cannot guide our own children while still carrying unhealed wounds that trap us in the past wounds that affect every relationship, not just with partners, but with the very ones who look to us for safety.

Never let those you love become the punching bag for your anger — anger that is not truly yours, but passed down from those who hurt you before you.

Do not continue their failures by passing them to your children — who will then pass them to theirs, and the cycle continues.

“It is not too late to be the parent you always wished you had. You cannot go back and give your younger self the love you needed but you can give it to your child.

Here is an unspoken truth: every single person longs to be redeemed in the eyes of their child, in the eyes of those they cherish. We may never say it aloud but their opinion matters more to us than we will ever admit.

Bravery comes when you fall to your knees and admit you lost your way. Bravery is looking at the pieces and choosing to build them differently.

The brave of heart do not wait to be forgiven they change and that change becomes their forgiveness.

Breaking the generational curse means wrapping your arms around your child and telling them: I love you. I am proud of you. And you will never hear the silence I grew up with you will hear the words I never got to hear.

To all those fathers reading this: remember the father knows the son, and the son knows the father. When my last day comes, I want you to remember not just where I succeeded but where I fell short, and how I tried to rise.

You do not have to be perfect to be their hero you only have to be better than you were yesterday. And honest enough to say: I may not have become the man I hoped to be.

I may not have been the parent I always wished I’d had. But I am trying for you.

The greatest apology is not spoken in words it is rewritten in how you love them from this day forward, until your last breath.

You cannot change what you were but you can stand before the ones you love and say: I am not that person anymore. I am healing what was broken.

They will forget your mistakes but they will never forget that you kept trying.

That is the legacy that matters.

It takes courage to say I was wrong.

It takes love to say I will be different.

It takes redemption to show it every single day.

Your worth is not found in never falling it is found in who you reach for when you stand back up.

Redemption is not found in perfection it is found in this moment. In one choice that can change the course of an entire life.

It is never too late to be the mother or father your children deserved.

Who I am now — and who I choose to be — will define generations yet to come.

So remember: your actions dictate the course of your child’s life. What they learn from you is the gift you pass on.

So I ask you now — what will your children learn from you?

Your greatest achievement…

OR

Your greatest failure…?

The choice that determines their fate..

Will be decided by you,

You are the architect of there greatest achievement or there greatest failure;

A child is only as good as the parent who raises them -

To inspire them to achieve an impossible dream..

To believe in future worthy of there aspirations of who they believe they can be become,

This is a path you will guide them on throughout their life,

The greatest act of love are those that are seen through eyes of those who's accomplishment is the greatest joy any mother or father can experience.

Redemption is not found in being perfect..!!!!

It is found in acts of bravery that take courage

Whether they be big or small..??

It takes only a single act in that moment

That can make the biggest difference

In our childs eyes to see

Not just a mother or father -

But the hero they will always remember...

Because redemption is not only found in a single act of courage

It belongs only to the brave of heart,

To redeem themselves through,

The reflection we face staring back at us

Through the eyes of are child

That we protect...

Lost Without A Purpose:

The Story Of Rediscovering Your Voice In the dark;

There is a kind of loss worse than death it is the loss of your self, to wake each morning without a reason to rise each day and without a reason to dream of possibilities with no fire in your chest to chase that dream beyond the desire of watching your life pass you by,

To be without a purpose without a goal without need without a want without a desire that emptiness can leave you standing like a shadow stuck unable to move forward not just in body but in spirit not only had you lost so much in that moment...

But to have your identity shattered into a thousand pieces without a direction not knowing which way to turn you could go left you could go right but it didn’t matter because the person you saw in the mirror is not the face you recognised staring back at you;

You could not speak the words that lived inside you they were to heavy too painful buried beneath everything that has happened- things that were done by other's actions taken that left scars embedded within you that you wished would stay buried but scars that live deep within you refuse to stay dead and buried.

Pain carried soul deep within you it prevented the ability to find the words within you so instead you found your voice not from words spoken aloud,

But through words written..

As you wrote those words into ink something changed the words you could never say became a bridge that allowed you to find a way back to your true authentic self that had been trap like a prisoner locked away inside you finally gasping for air you had not breathed in years..

You learned that every action has a cause, and every cause has an effect,

The choices people make—especially the cruel ones—ripple outward.

They do not only shape the life of the one who made them; they shape the lives of everyone they touch.

That is the law of causality that is the consequence.

Sometimes, there is nothing we can do to stop it. Whatever can happen, will happen.

Murphy’s law is not a warning—it is a reality we must survive what happened to us.

You could separate yourself from the moment it occurred. And you could look back that moment without the pain that was inflicted, and see with clarity the cause and the effect it had impacted upon your life and finally understand how it has shaped your life but it did not own you.

Because you made a vow, a promise to tell your self everyday I am not my trauma and my trauma will never become me It became a test of character.

It forged me into someone I never thought I could become someone who could endure.

I survived the moments I thought would break me. I endured the worst of what life could throw at me. And when I came through the other side,

I realized something profound: Despite everything life has tried to throw at me by trying to hold me back I persevered and no matter what obstacle was put in my way I climbed above and beyond it and no matter how many set backs I repeated I did not break.

Life did everything it possibly could to take you out of this world by using your worst fears against you it has tried to tortured you and haunt your nightmares,

The darkness tried to silence you but it could not silence your voice...

But out the darkness you spoke...

That I am still here not because of luck. Not because of some grand plan. But because somewhere inside me, a light inside me refused to go out my spirit refused to surrender it's will to live...

I kept going when there was no reason to keep going. And in that endurance, I found something I thought was lost forever a purpose in me to believe i could achieve something greater than myself,

I wrote the things no one else would say—the things people feel but cannot name.

The hidden tears behind your eyes, the silent battles no one sees, the fear of losing yourself when the world around you is already gone.

And as I wrote, I realized: I was not just writing for myself but for millions of people right now who feel exactly as I did. Lost. Empty.

Without purpose. Looking for a light in the darkness.

They do not need someone to tell them it will all be easy. They need someone who understands what it is to be broken—and to still keep going.

They need someone to say: I know that pain. I have been there and you will find your way through it.

Never forget this: the moment you stop caring, stop believing—that is the moment you lose all hope and faith.

That is a loss from which it is hard to recover.

So hold fast to your desire, to your hope, to your right to want more.

Hold fast to the part of you that refuses to be extinguished.

You have survived things that should have destroyed you. You have carried burdens no one else sees.

You have found your voice to speak up when those around you forced you to shrink your self into silence.

So you refused to stay silent and in that very moment you realised something profound..??

That is proof that you are stronger than anything that has ever happened to you because your words matter but your voice matters even more.

So If you are reading this and you feel lost know this you are not lost forever.

You are just in the process of becoming something rooted where the darkness you walk through is not your destination.

It is the ground you cross before you reach the light.

Your scars are not weakness.

They are the map of your survival and your words?

They are the light you found in the darkness—a light now burning bright enough to guide others who are still lost in that darkness and to shine a torch so they can find their way to the light where hope prevails,

Remember this your pain is not meaningless. Your suffering is not in vain,

It is shaping you into someone who can reach back and pull others up when they fall to their knees lost in their despair reaching out praying hoping someone will hear them..!!!

To all those who read this: I hear you crying out to be lifted up,

I will cast a light to all those who are laden heavy with burden to read these words and believe you have chosen to aspire to achieve greater meaning and purpose,

But that purpose can only begin when you release all that no longer serves you by breaking the chains that binds the past trauma that keeps you trapped in the ruins of your life.

You are not just surviving you discoverd that the voice you found in the dark was never just your's it was a voice of hope speaking through you to those on there knees who have none,

You did not just rise you was chosen..!!!!

You became the light the world so desperately needed,

A light for all those who are lost in the dark reaching out searching for a ray of hope,

By giving words to those who can not speak aloud

and giving a voice to those without one,

This is your purpose to aspire all those who read this.

Remember:

You did not survive the darkness just to find your way back to the light — you became the light itself.

To reveal the destiny to all those who live and breath.

Who believe they can forge a greater purpose beyond what they can see,

Their is nothing in all of creation that can ever extinguish the words that will inspire generations to come...

To rediscover what was once lost within you has finally been found,

The voice in the dark,,

That gives hope to inspire millions,

Who are lost without a purpose.

You have only to open your eyes and see

What has and always shall be the greatest gift.

Is remembering what you give to the world

A light that shines through the darkness.

That Rises Up -

From Within You..!!!!

Author Of The Story:

The Tale We Choose To Tell...

It makes sense when you really think about it: every single person is the author of their own story and only we can truly tell our tale.

This is the true story of every life.

This is what time gives us: a tale we tell to our children, to our grandchildren, and to those we leave behind.

And if there is a heaven, this is the story we carry with us the tale of our life.

It doesn't matter whether it was good, bad, or somewhere in between.

What we did, what we didn't do; what we said, and what we left unsaid only we can be the ones to tell it.

Every moment of your life is a part of that story. And no matter who you are or where you are, one day every chapter will either be written in the hearts of those who remember you or quietly lost to time.

So write the story that matters..

Tell the truth of who you were because your voice is the only one that can ever tell it exactly right the way it was meant to be told by you because no one else can give life to this life you have lived through.

Do not be afraid to make mistakes they are the best way we learn some of life’s most valuable experiences.

It is the only way we truly grow; otherwise we would not learn, and we would continue making the same mistakes.

Sometimes we must suffer in order for us to change either for better or worse.

Pain teaches resilience, to teach us to have patience and absorb from everything we have learned.

So that we understand why we had to reflect upon the pain we have endured, to find clarity in the truth we had denied ourselves from seeking.

It is only when you look within yourself that you will find answers to questions you have spent your whole life asking yourself.

This in itself is the greatest form of wisdom you can learn this insight is knowledge not just to master discipline, but to learn true self-control.

Lessons like this are so vital in life not just to refine the skills within you, but to incorporate them into your everyday so that you may build a more fierce and resilient person.

You are striving to become unyielding to the demands of the world in which you operate.

That makes you someone with everything to prove to yourself.

If there are two qualities in the world we strive for most, it would be courage and admiration — the approval of those we seek the most.

It is a normal human need: to be seen, and heard, and recognised for our efforts to be acknowledged for our ability to go above and beyond to achieve the goal set out before us.

Your life isn’t about what happened to you. Some chapters are hard to write.

But what matters most of all is the truth of the person your story will reflect to those who hear and read your words.

What will be the lasting reflection that will be remembered?

A story of strength and adversity that overcame hardship…

Or will your story reflect one of failure to achieve goals set ahead of you because it’s easy to do nothing, rather than stand on your feet and achieve something greater beyond yourself?

One day your story won’t be in your own hands anymore…

Mistakes are not failures..!!!

They are just the lessons your story needed to learn to amend errors of the misleading decisions we take that lead us astray when emotion clouds our judgement.

Some stories take a lifetime to understand — and that’s okay.

Pain doesn’t happen to you for no reason. It happens so you can write a stronger ending.

So be the author of your life not just the reader of what happened to you because the truth of who you are is worth more than the approval needed through the opinions of those around us.

Write the story only you can tell. Your life your words your truth every scar tells a story of how far you've come.

Don't let anyone else hold the pen to your life.

Your voice matters, and your truth matters even more.

This story is your own journey in life — and no one can ever take that away from you.

Your life is not a book written by circumstance. It is written by your choices.

You don’t just read your life story you are the one turning every page and writing every line.

The world may hand you a blank page, but how you write your story is entirely yours chapter by chapter.

Don’t let anyone else edit your story. Your truth will reach those it was always meant to find.

Remember: you can’t change the past.

The chapters of your life that broke you are often the ones that fundamentally change us because a story is not defined by its hardest moments, but by how you rise above them.

A story without struggle is a story without depth. Your challenges are what make your journey unforgettable.

Growth often looks like rewriting a chapter you thought was already finished.

Mistakes are simply the story's way of teaching you what matters most.

To tell your story truthfully is to set yourself free from anyone else's version of you.

The most powerful story you will ever tell is the honest one about who you really are.

And when you speak your truth, you give others permission to find their voice too.

One day, when the final chapter of your life draws near and comes to a close write it with courage, so it may inspire millions who read it…

You are the author and architect of this tale.

The truth of your heart gives hope beyond the measure of these words spoken...

So let these words be an echo that are remembered..!!!

A living will and testament,

to be recorded throughout the ages.

Fate may hand you the paper but you decide what is written upon it.

The world will write a thousand versions of who you are..??

When your story is finally told, let it be said: you did not just survive your chapters you were the one who made them worth reading.

We leave behind houses, money, and things. But the only thing that truly outlives us is the truth that we dared to speak while we were here.

It takes courage to tell the truth. It takes greatness to live it. But it takes you to write it.

You are not the victim of your circumstances you are the author of your comeback.

Your life is not a reaction. It is a creation.

When the ink finally dries and the last page turns what matters is not how many people read it, but that you wrote it honestly.

That is the victory,

That is your masterpiece,

That is your story,

This is the final creation the evolutionary tale of your life.

You are the author.

You are the creator.

That will inspire generations to come…

You have the power to write into existence what you choose to be remembered for and erase what you do not want to keep recorded in your life.

Don't ask the world what your story should be..??

Pick up the pen and show them by writing words that there to afraid to be spoken some will read your story and judge the chapters they never understood.

But they were not there when you wrote the words they now choose to speak because you were not born to be a spectator in your own life you were born to write it.

Some people will judge you what they have read and others will find healing in the words they read so do not be afraid and write your story because it was never meant for everyone it was meant for the ones who needed it most.

Don't just live your life author it as do not live forever because one day your story might the courage that someone else needs.

So remember...

Time will turn the pages whether you're ready or not..??

Your voice. Your truth. Your story. that lives on long after we are gone.

So write the words boldly. Live your life fearlessly. That is your truth "In the end, it's not the years in years that your life counted the most..!!!!

So let your final words something that is rememberd,

You hold the pen..

So Remember

You are the architect of your own making

Do you hold the fate of your own destiny

What is the tale of your life you wish to tell

Will you be forgotten & Erased by time

Or

Will you be rememberd..??

Where your name lives throughout history..

Your story is own to tell no one else can tell for you..

Your journey throughout life is uniquely yours every memory is a chapter in your book of your own life..

So let your story be remembered

So that you are not forgotten,

To the passage of time...

Knock. Knock. Knock. 3:07 AM, every night, for two weeks.

Last night, I opened the door. The hallway was empty, but on the floor was an envelope with my name on it, in my late mother’s handwriting.

“Stop sleeping on the couch, sweetheart. The ceiling is going to fall tonight.”

I ran to the bedroom just as the living room ceiling collapsed onto the couch.

The next morning, the building manager told me: “Nobody lives upstairs. That unit has been sealed for twenty years.”

Tonight at 3:07, I heard the knock again.

It was gentle, like someone making sure I was okay.

We have two left feet and Madame Bouquet fainted at Casa Capșa - come laugh with us [Episode I/30]

These texts are a discussion with myself, spoken out loud, on the wings of a time completely lost... and precisely for that reason, found again, with the sole purpose of bringing a smile to your faces.

 Series: Exterior Monologue - Around the world on the wings of... lost time, with a companion... quite different! Completely different!

 What happens when you start a two-stroke engine and you wake up straight in the 19th century, among gentlemen with top hats and fine gossip at Casa Capșa?

 A1: Where to today? The laughing engine runs on two strokes, rattling like a worm stuck in the spark plug.

 A2: Ohhh! That's going to throw us back in time, right in the middle of cobbled streets polished by women in crinolines as big as a circus dome!

 Vroom-vroom! And we landed right at Capșa. So much provincial snobbery!

 We have a 2026 smile, whitened teeth and cheekiness. They have a twisted moustache and gossip in French: "Mon Dieu, qui est cette dame?"

 A2: "Excusez-moi, je ne comprend pas... rien!"

 We sit at their table and order two savarinas with lots of "furculision"...

 But where is our Madame Bouquet? Our Chirița? The Romanian Hyacinth Bucket who pronounces Bucket as Bouquet to sound French.

 Speak of the devil! She turns red as a lobster, drops her fan and faints straight with her nose into the furculision.

 "Je suis très fatiguée" she says after finishing two turkeys in one sitting.

 A1: Well how could you not get tired, Madame, with all that furculision twirled in vain?

 Chirița: What did you say, you pretentious thing! Did you pay for my turkeys? Look at yourself! A plank! Just look at me!

 And when she puffs up her crinoline, she knocks over two respectable gentlemen and clears our table, to the fury of the waiter.

 We do an Irish exit because we saw on the GPS that her furculision has moved to the Champs-Élysées and it's as big as a coin on a plate as big as a wagon wheel. But now it costs 300 euros!

 Chirița: And are you going to pay for that furculision, girl? It's silver!

 Let's go before they make us pay for the turkeys!

 We tracked the plate on the GPS. Of course, it was already in the shop window on the Champs.

 The journey continues..... on Champs-Élysées.

 [Next stop: Episode II]

furculision = our made-up word for fancy cutlery confusion / Chirița = Romanian Hyacinth Bucket, beloved social climber_

When the colony ships stopped coming, Elena was the only one who stayed.

The others had left for the new settlement on the other side of the planet, where the soil was better and the winters weren’t so long. But someone had to keep the beacon burning on the ridge, the old lighthouse the first settlers built before anyone knew if humans could even live here.

Every night she climbed the 212 steps to the lamp room, wiped the red dust from the glass, and switched on the light. Every night she sent the same signal into the dark: We are still here.

For eleven years, nothing answered.

Then one evening, as the dust storm cleared, the receiver gave a single click. Then another. Then a faint voice, so distorted she almost missed it.

“Beacon, this is Ship Aurora. We lost our maps in the storm. We saw your light. Is anyone there?”

Elena pressed the button with trembling hands.

“Yes,” she said. “I’m here. Follow the light.”

By morning, three hundred strangers were walking up the ridge toward the only warm window on the planet. Elena stood at the door and counted them as they came in, one by one.

Someone asked her why she never left.

She smiled and looked at the lamp, still shining behind her.

“Somebody had to keep it on.”

Hey, you.

Where do you think the things that make you you actually live?

In your head? In your heart? Or somewhere in all the things you've done?

If you hand something you used to do over to somebody else, do you lose a little of yourself along with it?

Clink-clonk.

The bell over Aoi's door rang, and somehow that sound made the end of my day finally begin.

I took my usual seat, and Mama set down my Harper without asking. The ice gave a quiet clink.

Taka was sitting beside me, staring at his phone with an unusually serious expression.

"What's up? Work?" "Nah. Just reading an article." "That's a first." "Hey, I read stuff." "So what's it about?" "Using AI to automate your work so you can get back to being yourself. Something like that."

Fair enough. You see that kind of advice everywhere these days.

"Sounds good to me. Anything that cuts down on tedious work." "Yeah, but there's something I don't get." "What's that?" "What does 'time to be yourself' even mean?"

I stopped halfway to picking up my glass.

"Time to do what you enjoy, I guess." "What if you enjoy your work?" "Then keep working." "So why automate it?" "Just hand off the tedious parts." "How do you decide which parts are tedious?"

This was getting tedious.

"That's up to the person doing the work."

Taka put his phone facedown on the counter.

"So being yourself is something you decide for yourself?"

Tom, sitting farther down the counter, set down his glass.

"If people could decide that so easily, they wouldn't have such a hard time figuring out who they are." "What do you mean?" I asked. "If you're still looking for what makes you yourself, you don't know which parts matter yet. So how are you supposed to decide what to keep and what to hand off?"

He had a point. The order seemed backward. You automate your work to reclaim your sense of self. But to do that, you first need to know which parts of your work belong to that sense of self. And if you already know, why are you still searching for it?

"What about you, Kenichi?" Taka asked. "What about me?" "You use AI for work, right?" "Sure." "Does that make you any less yourself?"

What a strange question.

"Doesn't feel that way." "But you're letting AI do things you used to do yourself, right?" "Yeah." "So none of those things were part of who you are?"

I thought about that.

Years ago, I showed a senior colleague a document I'd written. He handed it back covered in red ink. I can't tell what you're trying to say, he'd told me. I was furious, and I rewrote the whole thing. Even now, whenever I put together a document, I remember that red pen.

These days, I sometimes ask AI to suggest an outline. How different was that from the red pen?

"Sometimes I ask it for ideas I'd never come up with on my own." "Then those aren't really your ideas, are they?" "Okay, say you ask someone for advice and they give you a great idea. Does that mean the work isn't yours anymore?" "No, that's different." "How?" "Because I'm the one who asked for advice." "I'm the one asking AI, too."

Taka opened his mouth, then sat there for a moment.

"...Huh?"

Tom laughed.

"Got you there, Taka." "Wait, hold on. That feels like cheating." "How?" "I guess I just assumed asking a person for help was still being yourself, but asking AI wasn't."

Mama smiled faintly.

"Sometimes changing the tool changes how we feel about the work."

Tom slowly turned his glass between his fingers.

"Still, asking for advice and handing over everything aren't the same thing." "Of course not," I said. "Then where does 'everything' begin?"

Another troublesome question.

"If you're the one making the final decision, I'd say it's still your work."

Tom tilted his head.

"So if a subordinate does all the thinking and prepares the entire report, and the boss just stamps it, does that make it the boss's work?" "Come on. That's different." "How?" "The boss is responsible for it." "Is being responsible for something the same as making it your own?" "...No."

Taka grinned.

"Looks like he got you too, Kenichi." "Shut up."

Mama cleared away an empty plate.

"But why are you all so determined to protect what makes you yourselves?"

Nobody answered right away.

"Because it's yours, isn't it?" Taka said. "What is?" "The stuff that makes you who you are. You don't want somebody taking it away." "Can somebody take it away?" Tom asked.

Taka folded his arms.

I found myself thinking about that red pen again. Without it, I'd probably be writing different documents today. Maybe I'd even approach my work differently.

"Hey, Tom." "Yeah?" "Do you think the things that make us who we are were inside us from the beginning?" "Don't know." "If you took away everything other people taught you, what would be left?"

Tom thought for a while, then shrugged.

"Whatever's left might not be any more 'you' than what you started with."

I couldn't help laughing.

"Yeah. I suppose you're right." "What did you figure out?" Taka asked. "Nothing, really." "Then why are you laughing?"

Mama poured a little more Harper into my glass.

"Still, handing something over to somebody else doesn't make you disappear, does it?" "No, I guess not." "And doing everything yourself doesn't necessarily make you more yourself, either."

Taka looked up at the ceiling.

"So what does make you yourself?"

I almost answered, then thought better of it.

Get back to being yourself. People say that as though you'd misplaced yourself somewhere, like a wallet. I'm not even sure there was a finished version of me to begin with.

"Hey, Taka." "Yeah?" "Do you think being yourself means having something nobody else can imitate?" "Well... yeah, I guess." "So if somebody learned to imitate you perfectly, would you stop being you?"

Taka stared at me for a moment. Then a grin spread across his face.

"If they can do my stakeouts for me, I'd be happy to let them."

Tom burst out laughing.

"Didn't you just say you wanted to protect what makes you yourself?" "I don't need stakeouts to be part of my personality."

I laughed too.

Apparently, there were parts of ourselves we were perfectly happy to hand over. Though whether we needed to call those parts of ourselves in the first place was another question.

I took a sip of my whiskey. The ice gave a soft clink.

Hey, you.

Those things you think make you who you are—did you really create them all by yourself?

And if some of them came from other people, does that make them any less yours?

See you again at Aoi.

---

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→ Welcome to Bar Aoi

Hey everyone, posting this here in hopes of finding someone or getting this to the right person.

Around October 3rd, about two weeks ago, I was traveling on a local bus from Rashmi to Chittorgarh, rajasthan.

I was wearing a pink t-shirt & blue jeans, and a girl wearing a green scarf boarded the bus with her sister from Gandhraf Chauraha. While her sister sat on a different seat, this girl came and sat right next to me.

We didn't talk for most of the ride, but as we neared Chittorgarh, she actually initiated the conversation and asked me "Are you also going to Chittorgarh?" I said yes & then i asked her if she's also a harry potter fan since she was scrolling through instagram reels before and a Harry Potter reel popped up on her screen. She told me just a little bit, but said her sister sitting on the other seat was a big fan. During our chat, she even sweetly offered me her water bottle to drink but I wasn't thirsty so i just smiled and said no, though it was really sweet of her. She then asked me where I live, and I told her I'm from Rashmi. In response, she mentioned that they were returning from visiting their village and that they actually live in Chittorgarh.

We had a really great vibe and she seemed genuinely interested, but everything happened so fast when the bus arrived at the spot that i forgot to ask her name or her insta id. We both got off at the Phantak near the petrol pump where she and her sister took off in an auto.

If you are the girl in the green scarf who sat right next to me, or if anyone reading this know someone who fits this exact description, please DM me! I'd love to reconnect with that girl in the green scarf.

My grandfather is a man of extremely few words. Ever since he retired, his daily routine involves sitting in his favourite armchair with a completely neutral expression, staring at the TV. It doesn’t matter if it’s the news, a cooking show, or an opera — his face never changes. We honestly thought he just used the TV as background noise to sleep with his eyes open.
That changed last week when we were watching an old British comedy show together. The scene was set in a quiet library. A man was trying to flirt with a woman by writing notes on bookmarks and slipping them into her book. It was very innocent at first, until he accidentally swapped his note with a shopping list written by an eccentric old lady.
The note the girl ended up reading wasn't a romantic poem, but a detailed instruction on "how to properly marinate raw liver and clean the gutter."
I turned to check on my granddad, expecting the usual blank stare. Instead, he was silently vibrating. His face was beet red, tears were streaming down his cheeks, and he was holding his breath so hard I thought he needed an ambulance.
Suddenly, he let out this high-pitched, wheezing laugh that I had never heard in my entire life. He leaned over, pointed at the screen with a shaking finger, and gasped: "That’s... that’s exactly how I proposed to your grandmother!"
My jaw dropped. The television felt way too loud, and the room instantly felt way too small. I wanted to ask for details, but I was too terrified of what I might learn. I just sat there in stunned silence while my granddad spent the next ten minutes wiping away tears of pure, wicked nostalgia.

Hey, you.

Don't you ever get tired of doing the same thing over and over?

A little bell chimed.

Hearing the bell at Aoi always made it feel like the end of my day was finally beginning.

I took my usual seat, and Mama set down a Harper without asking. The ice gave a soft clink.

"Kenichi."

Taka was sitting beside me, looking at my glass.

"What?"

"Don't you ever get tired of that?"

"Of what?"

"Harper. You always drink the same thing."

I picked up my glass.

"If I get tired of it, I'll drink something else."

"But you're not tired of it?"

"Not really."

"How many years have you been drinking it?"

"No idea."

Tom was smoking a cigarette a little farther down the counter.

"Then let's have you try something different tonight."

"Why?"

"Break out of the rut."

"It's a drink. It doesn't have a rut."

Mama looked toward the bottles behind the counter with a smile.

"How about a Scotch?"

"No."

"That was quick."

"I don't like Scotch."

Taka didn't seem convinced.

"But isn't it boring, always having the same thing?"

"You always drink highballs."

"That's different."

"How?"

"Because it's me."

"Convenient."

Tom exhaled smoke.

"He's always like that."

"See?"

"That wasn't a compliment."

I took a drink of Harper.

The usual taste.

"What's so bad about a rut, anyway?"

"Where'd that come from?"

"You said it was boring."

Taka thought for a moment.

"Maybe because you know what's coming next?"

"I know you're going to order a highball."

"But that doesn't bother you, does it?"

"Not really."

"You know Mama's going to give you a Harper."

"Yeah."

"You know Tom's going to sit over there and smoke."

"Because you hate the smoke," Tom said.

"And you know I'm going to say something and Kenichi's going to complain about it."

"That's because you keep saying unnecessary things."

Taka laughed.

"See? You know what's coming, and you're fine with it."

He had a point.

The bell chimes. I sit here. A Harper appears. Taka says something, and I answer. Tom smokes a little farther away.

It's more or less the same every time.

"So maybe there's nothing wrong with a rut?"

"How should I know? You're the one who brought it up."

And just like that, he'd abandoned the discussion.

I looked at the liquor shelves. There were plenty of bottles I'd seen but never tried. If I worked my way through them one by one, I could probably stay out of any rut for quite a while.

I just didn't particularly want to.

"Maybe having things stay the same is easier."

"Easier?"

"You don't have to think about it every time. Like deciding what to drink tonight."

Taka looked at his highball.

"Come to think of it, I don't choose my drink after I sit down."

"Right?"

"Mama just brings it."

"Same with me."

Mama joined in as she polished a glass.

"Maybe I should surprise you with something different once in a while."

"Don't."

"Why?"

"Then I'd have to think."

Taka burst out laughing.

"You really don't want to use your brain that badly?"

"I use it at work. Let it rest while I'm drinking."

I said it as a joke, but maybe there was something to it.

Walk into the usual place. Sit in the usual seat. The usual drink appears, and the usual faces are there.

You don't have to think about any of it.

"But that isn't just bars, is it?"

"What isn't?"

"Having something familiar makes things easier."

Taka put down his phone.

"TV shows and manga are like that too, aren't they?"

"That got broad all of a sudden."

"Think about it. Wouldn't it be exhausting if everything was different every time?"

Tom rested his cigarette in the ashtray.

"You'd have to learn everything from scratch."

"Exactly."

Taka pointed at Tom, delighted to have backup.

"How the world works, what everyone can do, what's considered normal. If they had to explain all of that every single time, you'd be exhausted before the story even started."

"You really think about all that when you read manga?"

"I don't have to. That's why it's easy."

I could see his point.

Conventions.

A character can do something completely ridiculous, but within that particular story, nobody questions it. You don't stop every time and ask why. You already know that's how this world works, so you move on to what happens next.

"So a rut is basically a system for saving brainpower?"

"That's a terrible way to put it."

"You're the one who said it."

"I didn't go that far."

Tom took out another cigarette.

"Maybe the things that don't need to change can stay the same."

He lit it.

"If everything was different every time, you'd be tired before you got to the part that actually was different."

"Makes sense."

"So a rut is good?"

"No idea."

Apparently, Tom wasn't going to take responsibility for the conclusion either.

I took another drink of Harper.

If some things stay the same, you can move on to what comes next.

Looked at that way, maybe repetition wasn't so bad.

"But..."

Taka spoke.

I had a bad feeling.

"What?"

"If everything was exactly the same every time, wouldn't that get boring too?"

"Make up your mind."

"But wouldn't it? If you came here every day, sat in the same seat, drank Harper, and had the exact same conversation with me every night—"

"We don't have the same conversation every night."

"What did we talk about yesterday?"

"..."

"See?"

"I just don't remember."

Taka laughed.

"Then I guess there are things that can stay the same and things that need to change."

"Which are which?"

"No idea."

There he went again.

I thought about it.

The bell could stay the same.

Harper could stay the same.

I had no plans to change this seat anytime soon.

And as far as I was concerned, having Taka, Tom, and Mama here was something worth keeping too.

So what needed to be different each time?

"Kenichi, you're thinking again."

"Shut up."

"The usual."

"What is?"

"I say something, it bothers you, and then you start thinking about it."

"Because you keep saying unnecessary things."

"That's the usual too."

Tom put a cigarette between his lips.

"So this is where I'm supposed to say something?"

"Exactly."

"No."

Taka laughed.

"Changing it up this time?"

"You said doing the same thing every time gets boring."

I laughed too.

Mama looked at my empty glass.

"Another?"

"Yeah."

She reached for the bottle of Harper.

"Kenichi."

"What?"

"Want something different?"

I looked at the liquor shelves.

Rows of bottles I didn't know.

I thought about it for a moment.

"No. Harper's fine."

Mama made my drink the way she always did.

"So you went with the usual after all."

"This is what I want tonight."

"You wanted it yesterday too."

"Yesterday was yesterday."

A fresh glass appeared in front of me.

I took a sip.

The usual taste.

It felt right.

...No.

Maybe wrapping things up like that was just another one of my usual habits.

See you again at Aoi.

---

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Ebony

May, 2003: Park Slope Brooklyn, NY. Corner of Flatbush Ave and Bergen Street.

   My roommate Chris and I were walking back to our apartment carrying some film equipment. Chris is a cinematographer and he was shooting my first short film, A Friend Indeed. A Friend Indeed was about an odd friendship triangle between three guys: Mike, Steve, and Dave. Steve and Dave are living together and Mike comes home from jail, rekindling his friendship with Steve and leaving Dave jealous and insecure. There is an undertone (or maybe an overtone) of romance which was intentional on my part, which I never resolved. 
I dislike resolutions in films and novels. Nothing in life really gets resolved. It goes on and on, one event to the next.
A young woman of color walked up to us and asked, “Are you guys filmmakers?”
We said that we were and were working on a short film. She told us her name was Ebony and she was interested in film and wanted to help out. She gave us her number.
And help out she did. She acted in one of the scenes and worked as a production assistant, helping move equipment and other duties. All of it unpaid. She just wanted to be part of the process, which is pretty much the norm in the film industry. People work for free to make contacts which hopefully lead to paid work. I admired her for having the confidence to walk up to two strangers and make her interest known. Most people would never do that.
We didn’t know much about her personal life, but over the next few months it became evident that her living situation was precarious. One night after shooting she came out to a bar with us in the East Village and had a bit too much to drink and became less than coherent. One of the people with us, Caitlyn, looked in her bag and found a number which she called. She explained the situation to whoever answered and was told, “You can’t bring her here.”
Ebony ended up staying with one of the actors, Jeff, and his girlfriend who lived nearby.
After we finished shooting Ebony would sometimes show up at our apartment. She would hang out and chat. We would order food because it was apparent she was hungry and had no other place to go. 
One time she came to a party and ended up staying for a few days, sleeping in my bed at one point, which relegated me to the couch.
It was becoming weird and uncomfortable. I’d like to think I have a generous nature but I didn’t know her. She also didn’t really know us. She was latching on to two strangers, two men, and staying at our apartment. I realize now, more than I did at the time, how limited her options must have been, but I didn’t feel like I was in a position to help her. 
After a while, we stopped having her over. One night she rang the bell and I stuck my head out of the window and told her I was going to bed. I saw her on the street a few months later and she called out to me but I ignored her.
CUT TO: April 2024. 
I moved to Massachusetts a while ago and Chris got married to a woman named Elaine and moved to Cobble Hill. I visit a few times a year to catch up. 
Chris sent me this message:

Elaine and I belong to Park Slope Food Coop and work a variety of shifts to maintain membership. One of them is at the affiliated soup kitchen where their unsold food is given to those in need. My job specifically is to walk the long line that forms on the sidewalk outside and register guests for their breakfast and lunch (you would thoroughly enjoy this). 
So I’m working the line and reach a younger girl. As I’m taking down her information she looks up and says “Do I know you?”
“I don’t think so, but I’m here pretty often, maybe that’s where you saw me.” It’s early March and bitterly cold. I have my full winter gear on, all you can see is the small oval of my face. 
“No not here, did I see you on TV?”
You find a good deal of mental illness in the line so give them a wide berth. “Well I do work in TV but I doubt you saw me there.” 
“Is your name Chris?”
Matty I just about fell over. I couldn’t even speak, just unzipped my parka and sweatshirt and showed my name tag on my innermost layer. 

“It’s Ebony remember? We made a movie together. You and your roommate were the only people who were good to me at that time in my life.”

Now the others within earshot perk up. None of us could believe we made this connection after 21 years. 
We chatted a bit more, like I say she never was able to find her path - living in the shelter on 3rd Ave, her ID was stolen so she was unable to find regular work. Most likely years of abuse and neglect in the intervening time. 
I wished her well, told her not to let 21 years go by again. We hugged and she disappeared into the crowd. 
Law & Order started shortly after, I haven’t been back since. When this show wraps next week I’ll be sure to seek her out again. Still floored. 
Have fun with the boys and I’ll see you soon!
C

   Could I have helped her? In a way that was meaningful, that would have changed her life for the better? That would have helped her with her mental health issues? That would have healed the abuse and neglect she had suffered? Would she have responded to my help?
Those aren’t the right questions. When people ask those questions they are just giving themselves an excuse to not help. 
“Those people want to be out there.” “They want to use drugs.” “They don’t want to go into shelters.” “Even if you gave them a million dollars and a home they would still find a way to mess it up.”  “Mental illness is complicated.” “Nothing I do is going to change anything.”
The question is: Should I have helped her?
The answer is yes. I should have been better to Ebony; I should have helped her more. I wish I had had the generosity, the humanity, the character, to be better to her. 
There’s no resolution here. 
There is only the next time. 
I hope I’ll do better.