r/Anxiety • u/Extra-Region-2414 • 3h ago
Venting Ready to give up
I have an amazing family, I love my career, and I love life in general, but my quality of life is at zero.
I am not suicidal, but the pain I deal with everyday makes me not want to live.
I have had chronic migraines for over 20 years, chronic stomach issues, and of course ocd and health anxiety.
I have tried everything, literally everything. Chiro, massage (I go every 2 weeks), PT, acupuncture, heat, cold, and I get no relief.
I have occipital neuralgia and trigeminal neuralgia. I have RCPD and cannot burp so my bloating and pain is awful. I am afraid to take medications so I only take Tylenol, ibuprofen, and pepcid. I have tried every natural remedy and get no relief.
I have taken xanax a few times and honestly if I could take it all day everyday I would, but I know after 2 days my body wants it and I get rebound anxiety so I don't take it. I have been prescribed Lexapro so many times and refuse to even try it. Migraine meds as well... won't even try them.
I am so hypersensitive to my body. I feel a twinge and I'm focused on it and thinking it's worst case scenario. I am my own worst enemy and I know that. I know that I could try medications that may help me, but I'm also too anxious to do so.
My greatest fear is dying and leaving my kids behind, the world behind, but yet most days I feel at peace because I feel so awful.
I own a business, which I love. I have a great house, cars, take vacations, etc. But when your health sucks, none of that matters!
I just needed to vent in hopes that someone could give me some encouragement, prayer, and that maybe you feel the same way.
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u/Alvarado1996 3h ago
Me and you both, I've been prescribed zoloft so many times its sitting in my drawer collecting dust... but I might have to bite the bullet. Because I can't nomore either, I'm also starting therapy soon
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u/Extra-Region-2414 3h ago
I've really considered therapy and then think of how much time I don't have for it...
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u/Classic-Review-8777 3h ago
99% of your post was like I wrote it. I can't even bring myself to take Tylenol, let alone medication. The only thing my anxiety will let me take is Ativan and even then I break my tiny .5mg into quarters. Thankfully I've cut down my migraines greatly by getting off bc and wearing glasses instead of contacts. I haven't had a migraine in almost 2 years now. I also own a business, have kids ect. Just wanted to say, I see you. I understand all the feelings you explained. You are not alone.
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u/Extra-Region-2414 3h ago
Thank you. I wish I could wear glasses, but I get such horrible tension from even sunglasses on my nose or behind my ears it sucks.
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u/icarusghost 2h ago
I was afraid to take meds and when I did, it took a while to find something that worked for anxiety. My psychiatrist said each person is a clinical trial of one.
I would encourage you to start with just one thing. Perhaps the Lexapro or the migraine meds. I have aura only migraines, and I haven’t been able to find anything that helps me, but the side effects were minimal.
One experiment at a time, and maybe take half the pill to start.
Just look for something that helps you feel 1% better and gently stack them.
This really helped me. If the physical pain is the first arrow, the emotions and anxiety we bring to it is the second. This lady Inez was my meditation teacher for working with pain in meditation.
You do have my prayers, and I pray that you find something that works for you. and gives you some relief
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u/ceremoniousone 2h ago
Try your SSRI and propranolol during the first two weeks. Start it low dose. You can still use benzo if you get any attacks and you can still take your Tylenol and Pepcid.
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u/No-Way9999 1h ago
I’m so sorry you feel this way. Honestly the lexapro helped me so much. I was in a constant state of anxiety. It was so bad. I didn’t even wanna leave my house to go on a simple errand. I understand what you mean re feeling everything and feeling like there something wrong. I don’t know much about the migraine stuff but I do suffer from tension headaches. Especially if my anxiety is bad. I also have some ibs so just know you’re not alone. I ended up just taking The medication for anxiety because I needed to take care of myself so I could be a good mom because I felt like I was on another planet so maybe if you can calm the anxiety and ocd down you can then continue to work on the other things.
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u/Simple_Respond_7536 1h ago
I understand that some of these are really basic suggestions but make sure to:
Drink more water, get your sleep, get nourished well, relax your shoulder blades, relax your jaw, do breathing exercises
Consume less bad media or intense media or high adrenaline experiences - fake and real threats cause the subconscious to have a similar response which can overwork the nervous system - consume more healthier calmer happier media and do more outdoor activities and spend times with others more doing something healthy.
Try to if you can volunteer or donate (even just goods) - and just doing more moral actions to avoid guilt that could drag you down - helps yourself with more confidence in yourself helping the body feel more normal and less like it is spiraling into something bad and getting stuck and feel more that things are getting better.
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u/LongjumpingMine9909 3h ago
The loop of being too anxious to take the meds that might calm the anxiety is a special kind of hell.