r/ApplyingToCollege • u/FaithlessnessMain564 • Aug 16 '25
Rant Asian Tiger Parents Are Forcing Me to Go to Community College
Basically what the title says. The past three years, I’ve worked my butt off in high school because of my parents. 1580 SAT, 14 AP/DE classes, skipped two math classes over the summer to take MV Calc this year, President of two clubs and an honor society, State and National officer for an organization, and two passion projects with decent impact. All for nothing.
I’ve just been starting to prepare for college apps this fall and sat down with my parents to discuss. I don’t know what caused my parents to do a complete 180, but just now, they told me that they would only let me go to community college. If I were to go to any other school, I’d have to bear 100% of the cost and they don’t want to cover my application fees. I know community college is a great option, but I’m just incredibly disappointed. I’ve pulled countless all nighters, cancelled hangouts with friends, and lived in constant stress just to stay on top of school and my EC’s for what?
And I’m in a bit of a pickle. They never let me get any part-time jobs during the school year or over the summer so that I could focus more on school. I have $0 to my name and have no way of even covering application fees to apply to other colleges. Also, my family makes 210k (we live in Northern Virginia) so I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t qualify for any substantial need-based scholarships or the Pell Grant. I’m thinking of applying to other scholarships, but I also just learned about scholarship displacement and I’m not sure if those 3rd party scholarships would help me significantly.
I’m just really disappointed and don’t know what to do. Princeton (Tiger 😂) was our dream college together and I don’t know what caused them to change—and they won’t explain themselves. I know this may come across as entitled and ranty, but could someone try explaining their rationale? What are steps I could do now as I’m entering college app season?
Edit: Thank you guys for all of your comments:) i’m really grateful for the support and I’ll definitely take a thorough look into all of the pathways mentioned here. Wish me luck and please send more advice!
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u/Low-Agency2539 Aug 16 '25
Princeton just raised their threshold for families to $250,000 so you can still apply and potentially have a good financial package from them
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u/IDidItInVangVieng Aug 16 '25
Vanderbilt has something similar. Take a look OP.
https://admissions.vanderbilt.edu/affordability/opportunity-vanderbilt/
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u/KickIt77 Parent Aug 16 '25
As always, run the net price calculators. This doesn’t make it affordable for every family’s situation. I’d assume OP parents ran numbers and that is causing this change in strategy.
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u/Analrapist03 Aug 17 '25
I agree. I don’t think these parents understand the amount of financial assistance for top applicants.
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u/dontich Aug 16 '25
Maybe they lost a job and don’t want to disclose it quite yet?
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u/donny02 Aug 16 '25
probably got the DraftKings reverse scholarship.
(which probably makes fafsa look better!)
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Aug 16 '25
[deleted]
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u/MeadowHaven5 Aug 16 '25
Yes! This guy has the stats to “under match” and get a full tuition/full ride at a mid ranked school.
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Aug 16 '25
This is good advice.
OP, do you have a good college counselor at your high school? I would reach out and talk to that person about which schools are likely to offer full merit aid, and then apply to them. You can keep CC as an option as well.
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Aug 16 '25
ChatGPT suggested Vanderbilt, Washington and Lee, University of Richmond, UNC-Chapel Hill, USC, Tulane, and Davidson as universities that might offer generous merit aid to a top student from Virginia.
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u/CoolRelationship8214 Aug 16 '25
Also, every Asian parent I know would give their kid their very last dollar to get ahead. There has to be something up financially.
I’m Asian. I know my mom would take out a second or third mortgage to get me into Princeton if it was an option. Something doesn’t add up. Maybe one of them is having work issues or facing a layoff. They don’t want you to be saddled with debt.
They know you can get the basics done and then transfer to Princeton later. If that is what they are hoping, actually call the cc and see what you need to do for that path. Being in debt is like being a slave. I know! lol.
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u/dschwarz Aug 16 '25
Princeton takes almost no transfers. They’re very generous with aid, so apply regardless of finances.
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u/dmazzoni Aug 16 '25
All Ivy League and top liberal arts schools take almost no transfers, period.
If you go to CC you can transfer to a good state school.
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u/notFanning Aug 16 '25
Yeah I went to Amherst College and we had ONE transfer into my class during my 4 years… from Brown
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u/thepandemicbabe Aug 16 '25
I’m not even Asian my mom was a teacher and my dad basically said that we should pay for our own way but my mother took on a second job to pay for both my college and my brother’s college. I think she was making about $30,000 a year. There must be a 529 plan somewhere I would definitely inquire. I would also consider speaking to grandparents, etc..
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u/sadmdhours Aug 16 '25
my asian mom don’t get me shit damn 😔 she refuses to help me financially with college even after attending community college for 2 years. she still has the old mindset that i can work a entry level job and pay for my schooling myself.
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u/JABBYAU Aug 16 '25
Two options: they have less money and/or more debt then they expected. They have significant assets and they know they will have to pay much more than they want to. A lot of people get to the real cost of college and just don’t see the benefit. more likely the second
You are a winner. you won’t be hurt by community college. It is not failure.
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u/thepandemicbabe Aug 16 '25
They could at least cosign student loans. It’s not fair. Op could’ve been saving. They should’ve been saving since the time OP was born. There really is no excuse for it. If you commit to something to your child, you don’t go back on it. I would literally work five jobs to make sure that my child is able to go to college just like my mother did for me. We were not rich at all. My mom was a teacher for God sake making him about $30,000 a year. She put two of us through college with no help from my father and we went to expensive schools unfortunately. It’s one thing to tell your kid that you’re going to do it and then pull the rug out at the last minute and another two be upfront the whole time. That would’ve allowed OP to plan. Absolutely unfair and yeah, people are going through a hard time right now, but they don’t have enough investments to at least get op through one year? But never mind, private scholarships, and choosing the right school will result in a full ride at many schools. There is nothing against community college and I did it myself, but OP has worked very hard and I personally hope that Asian tiger parents either on the word or that OP gets to go to the school of their choice.
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u/Swimming-Discount-41 Aug 16 '25
you are literally the tiny tiny minority. i had to take out loans like a mf coming from a two parent household
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u/SonOfYossarian College Graduate Aug 16 '25
With your SAT score and your (presumably) high GPA, there are a lot of schools that will give you a full ride on stats alone. They may not have the same level of prestige as some of the schools you were hoping for, but you’ll still get a quality education for free while getting to have a traditional college experience.
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u/In_A_Fit Aug 16 '25
I came to say the same thing. Now I am not saying this is ideal for you, but U of Mississippi gives automatic scholarships just based on numbers. Some of the programs there are highly selective (Croft, Lott Leadership, the Honors College) and some departments are surprisingly good nationally (pre-pharmacy, accounting). I hope you can find a school like this and apply.
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u/FaithlessnessMain564 Aug 17 '25
Thank you both for your comments and for talking more about Ole Miss! Reading this was enlightening since I've only known Ole Miss to be a party school. I'll definitely need to do more research on my own asap
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Aug 16 '25
Please tell me that you made National Merit. If you did, there are some schools that will give you a full ride. Go on College Confidential - there are informed parents there who've been through it recently, who will help you. Your very high SAT will help you, too, but the fact is that you need a full ride. Certain decent colleges offer full rides even to out of state, for National Merit Finalists. So it's really important to find out whether or not your 11th grade PSAT score was high enough to qualify you for NMF.
Community college is a joke for someone like you. You would qualify for full tuition if you get into a generous Ivy, but you'd still have to cover room and board, and that's not going to be possible.
Meanwhile, can you find any work babysitting or cleaning or doing odd jobs in the neighborhood, that would pay you in cash? If you're not 18, you can't open a bank account yet. But you can probably get a teacher to pay for your college applications and you give her the cash.
If you can get that full ride, you go there, and you never look back. I don't know what has made them do this; it is very strange behavior. They probably heard from some friend that this was the "smart" way to do it, and they of course listened to their idiot friend, rather than their highly intelligent, hard-working child.
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u/Mundane-Ad2747 Aug 16 '25
The bar is exceptionally high for NMSC Finalist in VA (usually in the 218-222 range, about one point below the highest-scoring states). And the value of most of those scholarships is technically only $500/year. Colleges may offer a lot more in tandem, but they likely would’ve given you that scholarship anyway, without national merit. Also if OP got a corporate sponsored national merit scholarship, there’s scholarship displacement at top schools. (Speaking from experience as my child earned a national merit scholarship.)
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Aug 16 '25
True, but there are also schools which offer a complete, full ride to NMF. And someone who got a 1580 might very well have made NMSF with their PSAT.
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u/CoolRelationship8214 Aug 16 '25
Try some of those colleges that are state schools that provide really good aid.
We go to Notre dame every year for my grade school’s field trip (teacher here). I was pretty much told it was the pinnacle of beautiful campuses. It is very pretty.
But, man oh man…. My son said something about Alabama. We did a beeline there on the way to Florida for spring break. Holy moly, that is a beautiful campus. Beautiful! I can only imagine with the money that is flowing through there that other schools like maybe old miss would be similar. Flagship state schools.
I checked on the pricing while we were there and due to the amount of aid, my son could go there on an amazing scholarship. And, get a good package due to the need for great kids like you.
I know that Alabama isn’t what you were expecting or wanting, but if your goal is graduate school, the college still leads to lots of opportunities. So, check out some state flagship schools. Smart people like you know that free tuition is always better than none.
By the way, my son has always said that he would never wan to go to Notre dame. Granted, he probably wouldn’t get in, but you could.
They have great scholarships for kids like you. Maybe it wouldn’t be a full ride, but again a good amount. Two boys that I know enrolled there within the last two years. They are Asian (a viable problem). Just barely made it over 1500, similar stats and they got in with good money. No one talks about the Asian deficit on here, but you’re always put up against the best of the best due to your ethnicity.
Don’t give up on your dreams, but be realistic. Graduating without debt and often having them maybe pay you a stipend is a great deal!
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u/lordgilberto Graduate Student Aug 16 '25 edited Aug 16 '25
Alabama has become pretty generous with aid recently to boost its numbers. Some people I went to HS with went there despite getting into "better" schools because of the massive difference in cost.
The stats mentioned by OP would get them an automatic $28,000 merit scholarship there (81% of OOS tuition), and getting a 1600 would bump that up to full tuition plus $1,500 and freshman year housing.
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u/Fresh_Animal_6497 Aug 16 '25
CC -> UVA is probably guaranteed with your background and tbh UVA is ridiculously underrated.
Also you’ll save a shit ton of money. I’m sorry to hear this but at the end of the day, you will be fine.
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u/Fresh_Animal_6497 Aug 16 '25 edited Aug 16 '25
Also for reference I say you’re fine because you clearly fucking crushed it in high school and success follows people no matter the undergrad.
Jensen huang went to Oregon state (ik he did a masters at stanford but that’s different than Stanford undergrad by a large margin) and he cleaned toilets, steve jobs reed college dropout, jack ma got rejected from harvard 9x, elon transferred into Penn after 2 years, sergey brin went to umd. Broadcom founders went to UCLA (great but not Princeton).
google apple tesla broadcom spacex nvidia all their founders had more humbler beginnings before climbing.
List goes on and on. Today is more of a meritocratic system than ever for the top jobs (still not even close to meritocracy it’s just more about the skills you bring both soft and hard than anything). Undergrad is helpful but it is not the only thing that matters anymore.
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u/Far_Meringue8625 Aug 16 '25
Trump went to Fordham, then u/Penn it did not stop him from becoming the President of the United States.
Barack Obama started at Occidental College. It did not stop him from becoming the President of the USA.
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u/newtonianfig Parent Aug 16 '25
Are we equating Fordham with community college now???
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u/Far_Meringue8625 Aug 16 '25
No we are not.
But if not Princeton our Little Tiger can start at a community college, then move on. Not every successful person [Trump and Obama for example] started at Princeton, or Harvard or Yale or MIT.
Moving on
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u/Far_Meringue8625 Aug 16 '25
One of my kids started at a community college, transferred credits to a uni, went on to graduate from a 4 year college. Went to work. In less than 5 years earning more than twice the median income for that location. Not rich. But livable.
Life is long. Opportunities are many.
Fordham is great.
So is Princeton.
Lol!
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u/ElderberryCareful879 Aug 16 '25 edited Aug 16 '25
Can you look for a job now to start saving money to pay for application fees? Do you have a relative who could lend you $1000-$1200 for the application fees (this amount should cover the fees of 20 schools)? If you aim lower, you might find schools offering good aids to offset the cost of attendance. If you qualify for National Merit Scholarship, some schools may offer full tuition. The most simple reason is there is no money to pay for your college education. Your parents were too afraid to say that earlier or didn't pay attention enough to the actual cost of attendance at colleges these days. It's better to know about that now than in March/April next year. Google "colleges that don't charge application fees" I see some good names. You should be able to workout something with some of those colleges so you can apply without having to pay the fee up front.
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u/WorriedTurnip6458 Aug 16 '25
People have already mentioned that their financial position may not be what you thought- but another possibility is that they don’t want you moving out of home.
Personally I’d aim for a full ride scholarship at a 4 year college if you can pick up some work in the next few months to pay for applications. Babysitting, gardening/yard work.
Tell them you are planning on doing this and their response might give you a clearer view of what is going on.
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u/PunctualDromedary Aug 16 '25
Asian parent here. It may be finances but it might also be a control thing. Think carefully about your relationship with them and consider what’s most likely here. This is weird enough that I don’t think it’s just about finances.
My advice: talk to your guidance counselor. You should be able to get a free ride somewhere. Call up any family members/friends you’re close to. Community pressure may make them relent.
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Aug 16 '25
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u/PermanentlyDubious Aug 16 '25
But won't they pay 20k per year in room and board? Plus, his statistics are still a gamble for Princeton and other Ivies.
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u/getmoremulch Aug 16 '25
Asian nova kid? With those stats VCU will give you a full ride among other schools.
You haven’t answered if you are national merit semifinalist or not- the official info comes out in September but you can very reasonably estimate it yourself now. NMSF gives you a ton of options for full rides out of state
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Aug 16 '25 edited Aug 16 '25
Asian parents can be cheap and use financial need to be controlling/abusive, sadly. You can file to become a financially emancipated minor if your parents aren’t paying for anything, and try to get financial aid and scholarships afterwards.
My undergrad had a ton of scholarships for kids who claimed financial independence or even if they weren’t… and I’m sure other colleges do too. I got a lot of my college costs subsidized by scholarships and graduated with only 7k debt, paid it off the day I exited with summer work savings. Don’t be afraid to take on debt by yourself even if no scholarships.
Don’t have a cheap mindset like I did. My friends who were not rich just lived on credit cards and loans in professional school and paid them off soon after they became rich. I’m sure you will succeed and get a high paying job in the future. Meanwhile I was frugal and suffered while they all had fun and prettied themselves up to get even richer husbands. I didn’t meet a spouse who could match my financial earnings because I was living from the mindset of being poor forever, and it took a toll on my life in the end. I also took on extra work obligations that were low paying to try and pay off my debts early, when I should have probably just taken loans, graduated earlier, and started earning a lot more money at an earlier age.
You can use your AP credits to save a lot of money.
You do whatever you like. You don’t need your parents. Go to Princeton if you like.
My parents used to threaten to withhold financial assistance from me all the time because of petty reasons and I just got tired of hearing it. But had they helped me like they helped my siblings, I would have way more assets today because I would have graduated earlier. Like millions of dollars more. But today I’m still the most successful one out of all my siblings who got financial assistance from my parents.
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u/8a8a6an0u5h Aug 16 '25
Promise to me you will apply to Princeton and I will cover the $75 cost. I will send it in to Princeton myself in your name or to your guidance counselor to help you apply. You can do this on your own. Get through the door first. Get loans. Succeed. You worked too hard for this. Make it happen…or don’t, and I am sure you will still succeed.
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u/Suspicious_Ask_26 Aug 16 '25
listen carefully for this could change your entire situation, i hope you have a decent counselor or at least a teacher who knows of your achievements well. explain your situation to them and then take your parents to meet with them. The counselor or teacher will guilt trip your parents citing your achievments and hard work in comparison to others and tell them that it is unusual for parents to restrict an intelligent kid like this. if they did this to you they would be incredibly frowned upon by the community is the impression we are going for.
all this is assuming they don't have a valid financial reason, if they do try to find a middle ground yourself like attending a prestigious cheap public school like georgia tech, purdue or UIUC
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u/Suspicious_Ask_26 Aug 16 '25
i hope this is the answer you are looking for, if not there are plenty of other logical replies in the comments. another thing i would suggest is going to CC for a year and then transferring out
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u/thepandemicbabe Aug 16 '25
Apply anyway. There are ways that you can do this. Feel free to send me a message and I’ll get some solid advice for you. This is your dream and judging from everything that you are sharing, you’re going to be able to get in some great schools. Apply for scholarships, but don’t give up your dream. You may have to emancipate from your parents. It’s not fair, but there is a way for you to go to college on your terms. If there are plenty of people that have parents that will not pay, but that doesn’t mean you give up your dream. There are also ways to get vouchers so you don’t have to pay for any college fees. Please send me a message. I’ve helped other kids. I’d love to help you find a way around it. Speak to your high school college counselor. They will also have ideas. You’ve worked so hard and well community college is a great option for many of us. In fact I did it for a year. I did not have your grades or your ambition – that came later. But you’ve got it now, so please don’t give up.
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u/weaklinginSC Aug 16 '25
Not sure if anyone else mentioned this but you could try to get fee waivers by directly contacting admissions of your target schools and lay out your situation.
I would also have a follow up with your parents to understand where all this is coming from. If their income has changed, that might open up more need-based opportunities.
As others mentioned, a number of elite schools have also raised income thresholds for aid. Do your research. Tour if you can and show interest in the program - that might help with fee waivers as well.
Best of luck!!!
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u/Pythro_ Aug 16 '25
Idk if it’s likely you’ll get in, but Princeton changed their financial aid for households making up to $250,000 per year
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u/rya556 Aug 16 '25
If there has been a change to finances, their actions make a ton of sense. Especially based on where you live. The comments saying if they’re government workers is absolutely true. Apply to schools, see what they offer.
If your family situation has changed enough, Princeton offers grants:
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Aug 16 '25
University of Arizona or Alabama can be generous, at least with National Merit but with that SAT and AP classes, they might offer you free tuition regardless of National Merit. You could do two years and transfer, beats a community college.
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u/LibraryOk3399 Aug 16 '25
Didn’t Princeton announce free tuition for families making less than $250K/yr ? Lots of other colleges are doing something similar. Talk to them about the 180 they did . Would be interesting to hear them out
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u/StarFox12345678910 Aug 16 '25
No Tiger Asian parent would make this choice, so there must be something going on that you are unaware of (and perhaps your parents don’t want to worry you about).
Community college education can be of really high quality. Don’t be a snob, learn as much as you can, see if you can become self-sufficient during this period, work hard, and apply to a know college for a masters with scholarship.
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u/Far_Meringue8625 Aug 16 '25
You wrote "my family makes 210k "
Maybe your family does NOT make 210K. Have you ever seen their pay slips, their income tax file, or their business accounts? If not how do you know how much they make?
Growing up one of my kids thought that "we were rich" We were not rich. Lol!
On a positive note, go to community college, continue to get stellar grades, transfer to a university once you have completed at a community college. That is called 2+2, that is 2 years at community college, then enter university in junior year. Perhaps a state university which is cheaper. Get stellar grades at university and once you have graduated in 2 years apply for and earn a master's degree from an elite university.
Your parents' refusal is not the end of the world. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. You can do it.
Best wishes.
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u/ScientistEfficient69 Aug 16 '25
Quick thoughts and advice:
As others have said, meet with your school college counselor immediately.
Princeton just announced no family that earns under 250K has to pay tuition.
Princeton also has an Army ROTC program. ROTC is an honorable way to pay for college. And you'll come out of your military service as a genuinely across-the-board impressive person.
Is it also possible that your parents are secretly afraid you'll go off the rails at college? Or if they are religious, could they be afraid that you will lose your faith? If so, then honor their concerns and find a way to reassure them that you really are ready.
Good luck!
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u/thebigroof121 Aug 16 '25
Damn, this sounds pretty bad. I kinda understand where your parents are coming from with the whole community college thing because Princeton and colleges like this are expensive. Living in a high income area with high income family really screws you over because you don’t qualify for aid. It’s so dumb that FAFSA doesn’t take into account cost of living which is significantly higher in areas like California, Long Island NY, ig Virginia. What I recommend is becoming a demon for merit-based scholarships. A lot of good organizational scholarships (like Coca Cola) can add up to something. Some schools offer shocking amounts. One scholarship from John’s Hopkins pays for 2/3 of your tuition (not financial aid or need-based). Otherwise you seem very hardworking and many colleges offer almost full tuition for certain programs if you are an outstanding applicant. But ivies you are prob not gonna find much if any merit aid so yeah.
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u/thepandemicbabe Aug 16 '25
Everybody qualifies for some aid and if parents are not going to contribute in any way shape or form then speak to college admissions, there are also private scholarships. Never give up, OP.
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u/thistimerhyme Aug 16 '25
Can you apply on your own- you’ll be able to have a conversation with the financial aid office after you’re admitted. And, you can also take a year off/defer, giving you time to earn money. I would also look at schools that offer merit aid- perhaps U Chicago, USC, duke, Vanderbilt, wash u. If your library has “the price you pay for college” by Ron Lieber - read that to learn how to negotiate for greater merit aid.
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Aug 16 '25
if your parents want you to attend cc, then there is probably a good reasoning behind it. Regardless of whatever you decide to do, I know you will do well and you have the stats to back it up
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u/Sweaty_Sine40217 Aug 16 '25
UChicago waives application fee is you indicate that you are in need of a need-based financial aid
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u/Classical_Econ4u Aug 16 '25
Look at the high merit aid, high rate of merit aid schools: https://www.collegetransitions.com/dataverse/merit-aid
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u/Repulsive-Ladder1611 Aug 16 '25
I’m Asian too. Start making your own decisions. Like everyone here is saying, you’d be competitive at a lot of smaller schools that’d give a full ride. Some schools will give full rides if you apply early decision. I went to a small liberal arts school on nearly full scholarship and grants bc we were poor. Best decision ever. Better for me than the bigger schools would have been.
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u/Antiviralposter Aug 16 '25
Asian mom in NoVA: in northern Virginia everyone’s financial situation has gone to the toilet due to cuts to the federal government. The trickle down effect is large here.
My advice is to talk to your high school counselor. You will need money to even apply to schools. So make sure you have some squirreled away for that- birthday money, something.
But start looking for need blind no loan schools. And don’t tell your parents anything. As a woman who had her parents use her a pawn for clout (look at my amazing daughter- but they didn’t pay for anything and took my personal college savings for gambling debts) they don’t even need to know you’re applying. Just make sure you have their tax info and file your FAFSA ahead of the deadline.
And you need to know- there are people who will do everything for their kids. And then, there are those who don’t and expect their kids to do things for them. Doesn’t matter the race or the Tigerness.
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u/Remote-Dark-1704 Aug 16 '25
CC -> T20/T10/T5 is very realistic. Top colleges prefer taking transfer students from CCs over other 4 years. Furthermore, even at top colleges, all the prerequisite courses are pretty much the same, so you won’t be missing out on much by attending a CC. You also have the option to double up and finish all the prereqs in a single year and immediately transfer the following year.
I personally know a few ivy admits who chose to attend a CC due to financial issues. They all transferred to their prospective or better schools in the end, and this was all possible because of the work they put in during highschool.
Overall, even if you do attend a CC, I hope you don’t think your efforts in highschool were a waste. Putting in that effort has definitely helped your character growth and has given you the skills to stand where you are at currently. There is truly nothing wrong with attending a CC, and I believe you will be able to navigate this difficult situation.
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u/Specialist_Button_27 Aug 16 '25
Word must be getting around in the community that paying $400,000.00, for an undergraduate degree is not worth it, especially if you go on to graduate school.
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u/Mrpiggy97 Aug 16 '25
parents never tell when they are financially fucked, let that be the warning sign
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u/wishyouwould Aug 16 '25
It is very likely a financial decision... something happened, and now they can't afford to pay for 4 years of University, but they don't want to talk to you about what happened or the financial position they are in.
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u/LizzyUwuO-o Aug 16 '25
With your Stats, it’s quite possible for you to get a full ride scholarship to a good university. When my parents refused to pay application fees, I emailed a few universities personally asking for waived fees by explaining my situation. A handful of them waived them! I got into one of them with a full ride scholarship covering my dorm food and tuition. Don’t give up!
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u/sadmdhours Aug 16 '25
college is extremely expensive. I found out on during my orientation meeting at the college I got early acceptance to that my parents could not afford it nor would they take out the loans.
It’s a complicated situation. I understand the disappointment, I did a lot of things to get into a college I really wanted. They most likely didn’t expect the loans and payments to be so high. they make 210k but some colleges in total cost 100+k and that’s for some instate people I know. for out of state, 200+k in total. (this is factoring in things like housing, food, class materials) also this doesn’t include the interest rates they put on these loans .
community college 2 years, plus working, you’ll be in honestly a much better position than the average student in a university who rely on their parents for everything. A lot of my friends never got jobs while in college cause they didn’t expect it to be so hard to find one their first year, plus balancing out a completely new way of living on their own.
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u/mbrasher1 Aug 16 '25
This is a bummer. I had a relevant experience.
I also was a striver. I was admitted to Yale, but then my folks (really my dad) dropped the bomb: they wouldn't pay for any college beyond Long Beach City College.
My sister had started UC Berkeley the previous year. Wtf?
It was hard to take as anything other than personal, and my dad wouldn't articulate a good reason.
I called Yale. Explained the situation. Explained my idea. I would join the Army Reserve, and then ROTC asap, as long as they would let me enroll with delayed payments. I joined the service, knowing I could also just enlist and get the GI Bill to pay. Anyways, my mom had a discussion with my dad, and they agreed to pay the parental contribution asked of them.
Anyways, I ended up at Yale. And the Army Reserve. But not ROTC. It was painful to have my parents decline to support me after gaining acceptance (and we talked abt applying). It was discussed in therapy decades later...
Good luck, friend.
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u/SpacerCat Aug 16 '25
Your next conversation with them is that you will continue to work hard and will be applying to 4 year colleges including some of the amazing in state options you have so you will be getting a job to pay for those application fees. Thank them for putting you in the position to need to find a job, and tell them you are excited about this new level of independence they are offering you.
UVA and William and Marry are fantastic in state options. You’re lucky you have them.
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u/PermanentlyDubious Aug 16 '25
Remember free tuition is not free room, board, expenses, insurance.
You will need a full ride including room and board.
Presumably a part time job could cover expenses.
Without your parents, the maximum loan you can take out is only 5500 for your freshman year.
Anything above that must be cosigned by them.
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Aug 16 '25
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u/Busy-Sheepherder-138 Aug 16 '25
I did community college before transferring to CSUSM. So I understand the argument that saving a big chunk of money getting the first 2 years at community college can be a very wise move for many. I actually recommend it regularly.
However OP academics are exceptional. Success in your career is not just about how smart you are. It's also about who you know. Going to an Ivy League school puts you in the social sphere of wealthy which can be a significant advantage, especially when you consider that most VC's care way more about pedigree than actual proficiency and knowledge.
Their fellow students will have family with highly coveted connections in government, finance, tech, Pharma, and who can make introductions that are critical for getting elite jobs. They are the Bill Gates, Zuckerberg, Jobs, Sergey Brin, Anne Wojcicki, etc.
I hope OP gets a free ride all the way! I also hope that OP's parents will not be close minded and not even apply for FAFSA, which would cripple their opportunities for many grants.
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u/Brilliant_Towel2727 Aug 16 '25
Ask your school counselor about financial aid options. You might be able to get merit scholarships and some schools might classify you as independent for financial aid purposes if your parents refuse to contribute to tuition. Princeton just enhanced its financial aid package so most families who make less than 250k won't pay tuition, so if you can get in there it won't be a problem.
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u/ThePlaceAllOver Aug 16 '25
Princeton tuition is free for families that make less than $250,000. Many ivies have similar set ups.
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u/FlamingoOrdinary2965 Parent Aug 16 '25
Like others, I wonder if they are hiding a sudden change in financial circumstances.
- Beg your parents to run the net price calculator for Princeton…or run it with the information you have and show it to them as a rough estimate and then ask them to also run it themselves with any corrected information.
- Get a job or do odd jobs now. Tutor. You can earn enough to pay for at least some apps.
- Apply places where you can get a fee waiver or that do not have application fees. Harvard will waive the fee. Some colleges have no fee. Others will give fee waivers for doing online information sessions.
- Apply places that have full merit scholarships—some that are “lightning strikes twice” (low admissions rate, handful of full scholarships) and some at places where you will be a superstar—maybe some that have guaranteed merit because of your scores/grades.
- Apply to UVA and other state universities. Apply to participating universities during “free application week.” If you don’t get need-based aid there, then you don’t have to worry about scholarship displacement. If you can get enough scholarships to cover most of the first year, which is doable, you can work and save up.
- Some of your state colleges may accept your AP/DE credits—shortening your time there. Research this and show your parents.
- Is the military an option for you? If it is, look into ROTC scholarships. Heck, maybe if your parents know you are considering a military commitment, they will change their tune and then you’ll have a choice.
Community college can be a great option but it sounds like you already have most of the credits that CC would theoretically save you. Does your CC even have the coursework you would need? Do your research and discuss this part, logically, with your parents.
Instead of showing your hurt and frustration (which are legitimate!), ask them what their concerns are (do they not have the money? do they think you will learn something by paying for it yourself? are they worried about it the value of a college degree?).
Then, you can do your research and develop a plan that meets their concerns and yours.
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u/Own_Sea6626 Aug 16 '25
Check out Texas Tech — merit based aid based on test scores and gpa alone. If you get merit aid, they also give you in- state tuition.
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u/Dry-Refrigerator2141 Aug 16 '25 edited Aug 18 '25
Pick the college you want and sign up for ROTC and all the other scholarships available. Maybe your proud Asians parents can't afford the debt, and that's ok. I told my daughter I want you to follow your dreams, but I also set realistic expectations about what I could do to help you achieve your goals.
She was prepared to settle on UT Austin but ended up getting additional top schools such as MIT and Ivies (Princeton included). Luckily, it all worked out for her and went to her dream school.
I'm glad we had that conversation and planned well in advance. If you really want to go to a top school and get accepted, use all additional resources at your disposal so you can increase your chances of being able to afford it without a lot of debt. If not community college for two years, then transfer. Start working, saving, and planning from now. Sit down with your parents and try to find some common ground and see why they changed their minds.
Start working from now and put up your application fees. It's very affordable if you plan ahead. Honestly, if you really want Princeton, sign up for Rotc. It's worth getting your tuition in full. I'm an Army veteran mom who also had an Ivy league acceptance and wish I didn't decline back then. I didn't have proper guidance.
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Aug 16 '25
The thing is that most employers dont actually give a f-u-ck about your degree once you have experience. And if you are genuinely smart and talented, you will be fine regardless of where you go for college. So just chill, everything will be fine.
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u/redditisfacist3 Aug 16 '25
Honestly look into rotc programs especially air force ones. Its probably too late for a service academy cause you'd need a sponsor. But there's lots of great universities(including Princeton) with rotc scholarships and with your grades you'll be very competitive
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u/thepandemicbabe Aug 16 '25
By the way, Princeton just announced that parents making under a certain amount go tuition free. I think emancipation is the best way forward for you. If you can do that, I don’t know why you turn 18. The least they could do is cosign your loans.
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u/Beautiful_Watch_7215 Aug 16 '25
Are your parents forcing you to go to community college or enabling you to go to community college? Is not going to college at all simply not on the table? By your telling of the tale, you can go to any college you just have to pay for it.
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u/GeishaGal8486 Aug 16 '25
I would tell them about scholarships, ask for some money (a fixed amount) for applications, and tell them you’ll get a job to pay them back. You could maybe find online tutoring jobs or offer to do some yard work or babysitting for neighbors if you don’t have a car.
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u/Improvement7561 Aug 16 '25
I know this doesn’t come close to solving your whole problem but if you ask and explain some schools may waive your application fee. Best of luck
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u/Alert-Basil-6657 Aug 16 '25
You have really good stats. If money is the issue, maybe you could try applying to a lower ranked school looking for merit based aid.
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u/Historical-Clerk-755 Aug 16 '25
This is not great advice but the academic landscape is changing and colleges haven’t quite adapted to it, it might be more beneficial for u to go start something instead of going to college right now. If u already know how to work and are smart u can definitely try to get funded for some project or idea u have before college starts. It’s a long shot but the opportunity is thete
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u/Conscious-Secret-775 Aug 16 '25
Your parents are being absurd and are trying to harm your future job prospects. Talk to your HS counselor and get their help applying to a four year college (maybe the principal can have a conversation with your parents). Remember you are, or soon will be, an adult. Your parents cannot tell you want to do once you are. If you can't get financial aid because of your parents you should apply to state universities. Virginia has plenty of them and they are not that expensive. Also, explore ways to separate yourself financially from your parents.
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u/lustrous-jd Aug 16 '25
Scholarship displacement is probably not a big concern for you (but check your in-state's policies). Usually it is a bigger problem for students who are getting need based aid.
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u/MacaronBeginning1424 Aug 16 '25
Go to the college you want on your dime. It’s your life. If you work hard in college and beyond you Will be successful.
Source: parents only encouraged me to apply to state schools so I didn’t apply to any reach schools at all. Now make $220k
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u/momprof99 Aug 16 '25
You would have already taken or gotten credit for a vast majority of community college courses. My estimate is that you probably have a max of 1 years worth at a Cc. Are your parents aware that cc's do not award Bachelors degrees, and scholarships etc. are less common for transfer students?
Can you commute from home to George Mason U. ? You may want to tell them it has Bachelors degrees and you can graduate early. Still better than cc route. You may even get merit scholarships.
Its not a binary choice between cc's and Ivies. At anybrate, no college is totally free. There are always expenses and someone has to pay for them. You need to have a conversation with your parents and a guidance counselor.
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u/cheechee888 Aug 16 '25
Have they been very overbearing and controlling all your life? Maybe they realize sending you to college will loosen the control they have over your life so they want you to stay local and live at home?
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u/Helix34567 Aug 16 '25
You're telling me that with all of these achievements you qualify for 0 scholarships? No school wants to give you a full ride?
Also it's not a bad strategy to go to community college. It'll save you or your parents an ass load of money. Just pick it based off being able to transfer to your school of choice.
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u/DHeads-2024 Aug 16 '25
Doesn’t VA have great in state schools options? And why do they not want to cover your application costs? I think they can afford to do that.
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u/spanielgurl11 Aug 16 '25
Apply to some good schools. You’ll get great scholarships with those stats.
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u/ArcaneConjecture Aug 16 '25 edited Feb 03 '26
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u/Acceptable-Matter774 Aug 16 '25
Ask school counselors, they have application fee waiver forms due to hardship which no college will really question. Then when you get into schools and have actual costs with actual scholarship options they likely change their minds.
Many good schools have full ride merit scholarships.
Also apply to uva linked CC then apply to transfer. Virginia has good public university system.
Finally. Did your parents go to college? If not (first gen) that is another fee waiver avenue.
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u/alteregoflag Aug 16 '25
Money. No mystery here. nothing you did was a waste. It will serve you well in life. Go forth and conquer.
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u/Worldly_Ambition_509 Aug 16 '25
My daughter was waitlisted to William & Mary, got in during covid, and was awarded an astounding number of merit-based scholarships, TA’s, and fellowships during and after college. Don’t give up hope!
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u/Hotshot-89 Aug 16 '25
Take a gap year, and work a part time job. Apply to public in-state universities anyway for Fall 2026 start. With your type of grades, you’ll likely land a large scholarship so you can go without your family’s help.
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u/Silent-Ad9948 Aug 16 '25
I have three degrees from Lamar University, a state commuter college in Beaumont, Texas (BA, MA, and MBA).
I paid for my first degree myself (it was the ‘90s, so still possible), my job paid for the second, and I paid for the third.
I work for the most profitable company in the world, and make three times what my husband does, and he went to a more prestigious undergrad university.
It’s not where you get it; it’s what you do with it. It sucks that this happened to you, but you will be fine!
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u/hulkiinghumility Aug 16 '25
I think your parents might be worried about money or control, even if they can afford more. It sucks after all the work you put in. I’d still try applying to a few schools, maybe find fee waivers and outside scholarships.
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u/Serious_Yak_4749 Aug 16 '25
Maybe they were expecting financial aid but ran the net price calculator thingy and saw they wouldn’t be getting the aid they expected. Why community college though? (I guess you can transfer after a couple years) Why not a state school (tuition is much lower than private schools) Or maybe you can get a full ride at a T50? Will you be national merit?
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u/MisterMakena Aug 16 '25
First off....I know you said you dont have any money but what schools did you apply for and got accepted to? If you cant afford to even apply, you can contact the school admissions office and ask, given your circumstances.
If you got accepted into good schools, and really want to attend, you can get into debt and work to mitigate some of the future costs. Many students cant or dont rely on their parents and manage on their own.
As for your parents, the hard reality is that there are financial constraints or concerns that have impacted their wilingness to help. Dont be so hard on them. Its tough times for many for different reasons.
If at the end of the day you do go into community college...it could be a blessing. Really low cost, and you get guaranteed admissions into schools like UVa and William and Mary and graduate with that degree.
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Aug 16 '25
Damn man, your parents sound awful. Why haven’t they been socking away money in a 529 account for you? Usually parents who drive their kids to excel in school and have means (your parents sound like both) put money in a 529 throughout the kid’s early life so that there is a nice chunk of change available for college
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u/gumercindo1959 Aug 16 '25
What everyone else says. There are schools out there that will be throwing money at you to go to their school. You’ll get in somewhere. It may not be T20 but you will do fine. Application fees can be waived, etc.
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u/arizona_dreaming Aug 16 '25
Princeton's web site says that 89% graduate debt free and that they will meet 100% of demonstrated financial need. Now the questions is-- do you parents have money but they don't want to spend it? Do they have assets that are not in retirement accounts or in home equity? If not- go for it. But if so, that's a much harder issue.
That said, going to community college then transferring into Princeton may be the way to go. Why pay for 4 years when you can pay for 2. It's becoming more common.
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u/sfdc2017 Aug 16 '25
Virginia tech is good and costs 35k. I am not sure how much scholarships they can guve you Can't your parents pay 35k? You can take student loans also.
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Aug 16 '25
They’re only willing to pay for CC but you can do what you want. Keep in mind hundreds of thousands of people go to college without their parents help every year. So it’s just up to you what you want to do and pros/cons of both.
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u/OkBad4612 Aug 16 '25
You parents are really putting you on the right path. The same classes you take at a university are at the community college. You will most likely get scholarships or even free tuition. I just helped my niece and nephew graduate from our local community college and both their associates were free.
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u/Blueberrytartss Aug 16 '25
look for scholarships!! apply to big full ride scholarships for schools, build up smaller scholarships. i dont think community is worth all your time with those aps, but try to build your case for good financial aid at ivys and build scholarship money.
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u/VegetableApple5422 Aug 16 '25
Op, as an asian parent of an incoming college freshman and Berkeley alum, I say apply to diverse tier schools. Acceptance is unknown - we don’t have control where/what college will accept us and what aid schools willing to dish out for top students. My son stats are crazy similar to u and he was waitlisted from ivies but in the end he choose a south cali UC becuz he got a full ride (tuition and board). His acceptance came with a finical gift from the uni. Maybe this is an approach for uni to attract top students by giving $$$. There are athletes that get scholarships n there are scholars who does as well; think of ur self as athletes.
I am sorry ur parents were not transparent with u, but this lesson before u shall make u stronger. I know it hurts and it does not seem fair, but u continue to apply n see what acceptance u receive. Roll the dice n see where/what it lands. Don’t overwhelm u’re self with unnecessary stress by looking big picture- break it up. Senior year is already stressful.
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u/salsanacho Aug 16 '25
Many state schools have honors scholarships to give the brightest students in the state a free ride, I went to a magnet school in Maryland and a bunch of my classmates had that decision to make... get a free ride at a very good state school (UMD) or go to a more prestigious private school but have to pay. Could see if UVA has a similar program.
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u/DisasteoMaestro Aug 16 '25
It’s money. Your parents can’t afford it. If you wanna go to your dream college, you’ll have to figure out how to find it yourself. It stinks that this wasn’t the intention, but you may just have to make your own dreams happen.
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u/axebodyspray24 Aug 16 '25
I get it, I was there too. I wanted to go to college and my parents pushed me towards community college. Not doing community college was a mistake for me. I promise going to community College first won't hurt you unless you're looking to get into medical or law school
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Aug 16 '25
You have amazing stats, look for colleges that give merit aid, you could probably qualify for a full ride. Schools like Washington Uni in St. Louis, Duke, and even Vanderbilt give out merit scholarships to top students. Many great colleges give out merit aid, and full rides (tuition, room, food). Don't count yourself out yet, apply anyway, the results will surprise you.
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u/mvscribe Aug 16 '25
What I'm not seeing addressed in the other comments is your lack of money for applications. Do you have a bank account? Do you have other relatives (grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc.) who would be happy to give or lend you a few hundred dollars for applications?
I think you should apply to where you want to go. Hopefully your parents will come around at least enough to fill out a FAFSA. You still have a few months before applications are due to work it out with them.
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u/extratemporalgoat Aug 16 '25
apply to every college in the US with an application fee waiver, if you get a full ride covering room and board and a meal plan you don’t need their “permission” or help to go 😂
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u/Rich_Bar2545 Aug 16 '25
OP, start tutoring other students. You will make good money. Talk with your guidance counselor - there are lots of colleges where you can apply for free. And you can apply NOW to get the max grant info. Good luck and go be great!
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u/christopherwalkenfan Aug 16 '25
With good stats like those you should be receiving many application fee waivers to mid and upper mid tier schools. Those schools will want you and may offer you a full ride due to your stats. Continue to check your email and make sure you have allowed the college board to share your scores and email. They will reach out. Worst case you go to a lower tier school for free and perform extremely well. Good luck!
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u/Big-Practice-4702 Aug 16 '25
Brothers, sisters, and non-binaries in Christ do research before freaking out. It’s likely Princeton would cover a ton of the cost of attendance if you get in.
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u/threetimeslucky3 Aug 16 '25
Explain the situation to your school counselor. They can advocate for you to at least get your application fees waived. You likely don't qualify for an application fee waiver under the usual categories, but there's an "Other" category where a counselor can recommend that the college waive the app fee due to unusual circumstances.
If your counselor is willing to work with you for that, then I would apply to a shit ton of places and really work those institutional scholarships. Best of luck to you.
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u/Lucky-Nebula Aug 16 '25
Many states have a day/week in the fall where in-state students can apply to state universities for free. Check out Virginia College Application Week
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u/Similar-Advisor-3985 Aug 16 '25
I think honor college for George Mason would also work, they give you free tuition and I believe with a bit of bargain you could get a full ride
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u/cheapbritney Aug 16 '25
Are you 18 yet?
If you go to a prestigious university, you will probably have to take up loans. But with your stats, you could probably get a partial scholarship and grants at a state school. So you would still have the opportunity to experience college life and live somewhat independently, while not bearing as large a financial burden.
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u/ric4eeverymeal Aug 16 '25
Maybe there was unexpected finance issues that they don’t want to talk to you about to protect you? also, it’s not a bad idea to go to community college you can get into a much better school than straight from high school. asian parents can be like that, the Connor just force whatever decision down your throat when there is a motivation behind it and they won’t really tell you hopefully it’s not finance issue. I’m sorry it can be really confusing with Asian parents lol I know it too well
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u/hostility_kitty College Graduate Aug 16 '25
They’re right though. Do your core classes at a CC first, saves a ton of money.
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u/pacman2081 Aug 16 '25
I will hear the exact reverse situation. I assume they are in financial trouble. You need to have a frank discussion. It is okay to go to State school or community college for financial reasons
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u/Violet_Daffodil Aug 16 '25
Nobody is “forcing” you to do anything. They told you what they are willing to pay for. If you want something else, use the brains that got you a 1580 SAT and figure it out.
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Aug 16 '25
I’m in my mid-20’s and did not try in high school because I found it pointless. I now have a gap in knowledge in basic stuff for likely the rest of my life.
Some of high school is meaningless, but there is a lot of useful info that will make you a normal functioning adult. Be happy you put in the effort, if only for the knowledge.
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u/Mikeyjanuary11 Aug 16 '25
Apply to your college of interest. If you get in, then defer your enrollment as you attend community college for 1 year.
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u/SCYMCAemployee Aug 16 '25 edited Aug 16 '25
You can apply to a bunch of VA colleges with no application fee in October: https://www.levelupvirginia.org/level-up-va-events/virginia-college-application-week Finalize applications then and see what aid packages/ scholarships you are offered. Wishing you the best! Edit- If your school is a participant. You may want to consult with your school counselor.
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u/NoPear9286 Aug 16 '25
Your parents are helping you in a way. Hand outs do more of a disservice than anything. Plus, top colleges are just a commodity these days, not to say they don’t help for certain practices/industries/career avenues. But you’ll be fine. What are you hoping to do in life? Maybe Princeton isn’t necessary to achieve that goal. I’ve been went to school with intelligent and successful folks who started at a CC then transferred to a state university. Best of luck to you.
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u/Agile-Vehicle-1424 Aug 16 '25
As a National Merit semi-finalist, you get full ride for University of Alabama, University of Houston, and several other universities. Do your research and pick one as safety. You may also get a good scholarship for your state university. Also talk with your parents, if they have financial issues, then the top private universities have very good financial aids. Don’t limit yourself for school applications at this stage.
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u/NoPear9286 Aug 16 '25
You seem smart. Look into the Space Force or Air Force. I’ve enlisted with a bachelors and hope to get my Masters paid for using TA while I’m in and use the GI Bill if I want to pivot career fields or pass it on to my children when I’m out
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u/Spirited-Plum-3813 Aug 16 '25
Ugh. My parents did the same- hyped me up, I even got accepted- but unable to pay. Its disappointing. I’m sorry that happened. I know NOVA. It’s a high-achieving area. An expensive area- 210k is nice, but can go fast here. And college is soooooo expensive. Perhaps your parents have really just realized it. And Unfortunately scholarships are like winning a lottery. That being said- NVCC is a really good system. You can do really well there and transfer- maybe not to Princeton, but an in-state school. If you got to GMU you don’t have to pay for dorm. As for cash, perhaps you can start tutoring- like on tutor.com. Tutor middle school math at the library. if your school is anything like my kids’ school, they push 4 yr college attendance so hard and some individuals can make you feel unaccomplished if you go to community college. These people will not being paying your student loans.
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u/PuzzleheadedName1564 Aug 16 '25
I’m sure that you’re disappointed and frustrated right now, and honestly if I was in your shoes, I would be as well. But there are definitely still other options beyond community college. One really good one that I would recommend is the Stamps Eminence Scholarship Program at Ohio State. It’s a merit-based program (so it doesn’t matter what your family income is), and it covers up to all semesters of your tuition, room and board.
I actually got into this program and attended the Finalist Friday for it. I didn’t end up choosing Ohio State but honestly, all of the students and professors were absolutely incredible. I’m sure that there are programs like this at other universities too, so I’d def recommend researching colleges with full-ride merit scholarships. It may take a little bit more effort, but after all the work you’ve already put in during high school, I think you’re more than capable of making it happen! Good luck!
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u/jaybro1974 Aug 16 '25
Okay, first of all, take a deep breath. I’m answering as a mother of a senior (who is attending community college right now as a dual enrolled student) and as an English professor from the community college.
I know it’s frustrating, but a community college isn’t the end of the world. I get it. You want to get away to the university and do all the things, and you’ve definitely worked hard for it.
But what if…hear me out here…you go to a community college and get some general credits out of the way? Transfers have a much easier time getting into the university than first year students. It’ll keep you close to home, so your parents won’t have to pay a hefty on campus bill.
Private universities can run $50,000 a year if not more. A community college will be under $8,000 grand for the year. I would never want my child to go in debt $200,000 for a degree when the job market is iffy.
Go to the community college, get a part time job (now that you’re 18), and enjoy life. When the time comes, apply as a transfer student where there won’t be near the competition, and there will be plenty of scholarships still.
I also want to add since I’m a parent that we realize we’re frustrating to our young adult children, but trust me when I say most of us truly have your best interests at heart. It sounds like your parents want to save some money for a little bit. Don’t get angry that they don’t have $200 grand to pay for your college. We are human, after all.
Wishing you the best. If you have any other questions, let me know. I’m here to help.
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Aug 16 '25
Dude Your parents literally giving you best advice any parent can give their children. A university is very expensive !! The courses in the first two years of college is pretty same across different majors can could be taken at community college at fraction of cost or even free in some cases . Then you can transfer those credits to a university and graduate with bachelor degree. And with scholarships and other grants you can graduate debt free !!! A lot of students got pushed into university directly by parents . The parents told them to take insane amount of student loan debt , and now those people are financially ruined with no hope for their future ! Don’t end up like them . You need street smart too. Your future recruiter only cares if you have a college degree and doesn’t care how you got it. In fact you don’t even need to put your community college in your resume.
Either your parents are having financial problems or realizing that college is way overpriced and nudging you to find alternative route which yields the same result.
This will the greatest investment/decision and it’ll be save your future from crippling student loan debt
Hey you’ll be an adult soon and you can whatever you want. You are responsible and accountable for your decisions. If you take on student loan to your ‘Dream’ college and then things don’t turn out how you expected, then don’t you dare expect the tax payers to bail you out . Good luck !
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u/Own-Vegetable-3587 Aug 16 '25
I’m so sorry about your situation, but living in Northern VA and attending community college may actually give you a particular opportunity!
In the state of Virginia, there is a program called Virginia Guaranteed Admissions Agreements, which guarantees admission to one of Virginia’s public or private colleges/universities upon completion of an associate’s degree (contingent upon maintaining a minimum GPA). More information can be found here: https://www.vccs.edu/transfer-programs/
Community college may not be what you had envisioned for your next step in life, but it is a great opportunity to start your college journey; don’t be discouraged!
Best of luck!!
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u/R0ck3tSc13nc3 Aug 16 '25
The smart money for just about every student is to go to community college. All that stuff about famous colleges and trying to go to summerank college and if you don't your life is over, that's Hollywood. In the real world, we barely ever ask where you went to college or even what the grades were, getting the degree is just an expensive ticket to enter the workforce. You should do it as cheaply as possible and your parents are smarter than you are. They know more than you do. Everything they're saying is correct. Go prove yourself a community college, get a great great point, transfer to a low-cost State college or private college that really wants you to go there and gives you a great net price. Look up what net price means cuz if you don't know what that means, we're not even talking about the same stuff.
I have bosses of companies, CEOs and lead scientists, and they have all pretty much gone to community college for the first 2 years, transferred to a low-cost state college and got their abet degree in some engineering field.
Hollywood is lazy, life is not a video game, the life that Hollywood chose about everybody going out of town for college, that's not something financially supportable or wise. All that money you're not wasting on college is money you can use for a down payment for a house or a business
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u/Fantastic_Run_1339 Aug 16 '25
Can you babysit or get a part-time job to make enough money to cover the application fees? Or do you have an aunt or uncle who could help? I would apply everywhere you were planning to. You never know what kind of scholarships you could be offered.
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u/WeHatePennsylvania Aug 16 '25
honestly do the NoVa -> UVA glitch maybe this will work because thats chepaer after 2 years of community college (Also from NOVA here) but the tuition will go from like 80k to 50k after 2 years at NoVa CC
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u/InitiativePositive77 Aug 16 '25
I would put this story in a gofund me campaign. Keep moving forward.
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u/profitguy22 Aug 16 '25
Go to a decent private where they will give you a great merit scholarship given your academic performance and potential.
You may not be able to go to dream school Princeton and your in-state system may not be able to ignore that your family has $200k+ income in their formulas - but there will be good privates that do large merit scholarships for talented kids like you.
We make too much to qualify for need-based financial aid, but my son got plenty of offers for large merit scholarships from privates - and he is a good student / well-rounded but has nothing like your stats. I bet some school gives you close to a full ride as long as in addition to your academics, your whole application is good.
It might be easy to feel like a victim here. I do feel your parents flipped the script on you. But regardless of why they did it - it is your life and you can let it happen to you and be sub-par OR you can take charge. Two years of community college are unlikely to be appropriately challenging for you given your background - what a waste of learning time - so step up, take ownership of the process and do what’s right for you.
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u/sreid240 Aug 16 '25
For in state Virginia colleges, the application fees are waived the week of October 20-24. Make sure to apply during the free week. https://www.levelupvirginia.org/level-up-va-events/virginia-college-application-week
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u/Water_My_Plants1982 Aug 16 '25
Either they are low on finances and dont want to tell you or they are having major helicopter parent vibes and dont want you to leave the house
Are your parents on the older side? Could one of them be hiding a major illness? Maybe they dont want to disclose that they are sick and want to trap you into taking care of them by force?
I've seen a lot of crap pulled by families, so Im just spit balling
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u/Current-South-8919 Aug 16 '25 edited Aug 16 '25
Take out a student loan, and do quant. You'll easily get into any fucking ivy/t5 biz and these quant guys pay off their loans in 3 years max Don't be afraid to take on leverage
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Aug 16 '25
Also to add..You can reach out to the school and explain them the situation and see if they can let you apply for free.
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u/rastagrrl Aug 16 '25
Talk to your HS guidance counselor about getting free application codes. Many have them on hand they can provide. If not, reach out to the college admissions offices and see if they have them. Then, apply to the colleges of your choice especially Princeton. Many highly selective colleges will offer free rides to highly qualified accepted students whose family incomes fall below a certain threshold. For Princeton I read that those up to $250k pay no tuition, although that does still leave room and board. Up to $150 it’s full ride. Either way you might be surprised by the financial aid many colleges offer will offer to highly qualified students like you, so apply. Worse case scenario you end up at a CC but don’t go down without a fight!
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Aug 16 '25
I'm going to give you some non-academic advice: open your very own bank account at a bank where your parents don't have their own account. Some good advice about opening your own account is here.
If this change of heart is about control, you want to make sure any money you earn moving forward remains yours. I'm really sorry.
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u/TrooperCam Aug 16 '25
You’re in NOVA, JMU, William and Mary, George Mason and ODU would fight to have you attend. UVA and V Tech are also solid choices if you want the “name” but the chance to get more instate help.
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u/sabautil Aug 16 '25
Once you graduate, get a job. Move out. Look into getting scholarships and grants. Use money from job to apply to colleges. Look into both state and private colleges.
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u/vikingellie Aug 16 '25
Princeton is tuition free for families under $250k. You’d just have to pay room and board (and should get a little help with that as well). This is true for most of those top tier schools. It is worth applying with your credentials. If you can get in, it will likely cost you much less in the end than any less expensive school with less of an endowment fund.
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u/nerfrosa College Freshman Aug 17 '25
Look up schools that give good merit aid. There are a bunch of threads on this sub with some good lists. They won’t be Ivy level schools, but you can definitely go to a decent flagship-level school for free with your stats.
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u/Primus_Invin Aug 17 '25
If you have NMS just go to ASU or something cuz its free and still better than community college. If not suck it up and go to cc, a prestigious degree ain't worth 300k+ of debt.
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u/ConureCultist Aug 17 '25
You can still go to Princeton. My family has nearly identical income to yours, and the net price calc came out to $10,000 with their increased aid. They offer free tuition under $250000 Income, and it does not include loans or working, it is grant-based. With jobs on campus you could easily graduate with little or no debt.
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u/DrEngineeringChica Aug 17 '25
I'm wondering if your parents are trying to keep you home. That's just one of many ways my mother tried to keep me in control. I also busted my butt off in school only to be emotionally manipulated into staying at my local state school. Not having your own money because your parents won't let you get a job is a form of financial abuse. The overall situation sounds really controlling. Find a state school in another state! They usually have merit scholarships that will cover a significant portion and then take a loan! Paying off a loan for a few years after graduation is worth getting to establish your own path. You're obviously a motivated individual so focusing on paying off that loan after graduation should be completely doable. Best of luck!!
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u/BellaBlackRavenclaw Aug 16 '25
Are you sure they aren't having any financial issues they may not have told you about?