Please can anybody tell me what schools have the most masc lesbians in attendance? This genuinely might be the most important thing I‘m looking for in a school. I’m talking like seeing more than one a day in between classes. Thanks!

title. its begun: the swarm of people who misdirect their anger at others who were luckier in this process. i just made a reddit account because i’ve been reading through this sub, and i’m seeing a pattern that needs to be addressed.

you don't know why you didn't get into that t20. that's a fact. you don't. unless you can miraculously whip out your admissions file, our guess is as good as yours.

i understand it's frustrating to see the hard work you've poured into...suddenly seem insignificant. but that's no reason to undermine the achievements of black and latino students in this sub who worked just as hard. frankly, it's disgusting to see some taking advantage of our anonymity to spread bigotry.

if your motivations to start that nonprofit or help an underserved community were not rooted in actually helping that group of people, it begs the question: did you really "deserve" that spot, as you say, by using real-world issues to serve your singular gain? and no, i'm not trying to attack service itself---but we're PEOPLE first. our motivations to help others need to lie in our own moral compasses. c'mon now.

at the end of this process, a lot of us have to sit with reality: we've been consumed by this cycle. of course you're entitled to care about where your future's headed, but contributing to the blame-game is not okay. other candidates did not take your individual application and tear it apart.

the mixture of frustration and uncertainty we're all feeling may not dissipate in the near future---however, it does not give ANYONE the green light to marginalize others who've simply put themselves forward in this brutal process.

my best to you all in navigating your decisions. let it come from a place of satisfaction and not condemnation. as a waitlist warrior myself, i know it's not easy to feel any level of certainty now. but we'll get there. let's start by treating others with respect and upliftment.

I know this is the wrong crowd to say this since everyone in here is aspiring for the top, but I hope it can get through to some of you seniors applying to all these schools with non-world-changing goals.

If you end up having the option of FREE college, from that non-prestigious state school that all the ‘average’ people at your high school are going to, consider taking it.

I’d kill to go anywhere for a full ride. I’ve done everything financially ‘right’ (went to cc then transferred in-state, applied to a ton of scholarships and won a few, did workstudy, did a summer internship) and I still need to take up loans for the upcoming year. My parents only give me money for groceries, and make too much money for me to qualify for aid. I don’t have any other family or any other sources of easy funding. I had a friend get into Cornell and it pained me to see her debate going $100k+ into debt over going to our state school for free.

I just ask that everyone here really ask themselves WHY they want to go to a prestigious school for undergrad. Do you want to be a major political figure, dominate an industry, do world-changing research? Okay MAYBE the loans are worth it for that special school. Otherwise, state schools are just as good for employers and for the college experience. I think post-degree, most people agree with me that you can have just as an amazing experience without condemning yourself to potentially decades of debt.

I feel like the college experience is so much better when you don’t have to constantly worry about money.

Added in post: personally I think it’s just as much of a flex (maybe even more so) to say you got in to an Ivy and rejected THEM … my 2 cents lol

My dad passed away today. I’m 17 and I never got to say goodbye. I remember the last thing I did before he left on his trip was reading to him my Stanford supplementals, because he was someone I always turned to. Now he’s gone. It’s at these moments that you realize how fucking trivial and irrelevant college apps are. Life is so unfair. I know a lot of you guys are fixated on college apps right now, but make sure to spend some time with your loved ones. They leave us too soon. I wish I could tell my dad I loved him one last time.

what does this mean for international harvard students and what precedent does this set?

discussion thread? my entire class just found out and we are so confused

“Oh no, I got rejected from all my targets and reaches(HYPSM and maybe the other lower T10 schools), now I have to attend state school or this other safety filled with losers who are beneath me and definitely didn’t try as much as me!!!! Is my life over?“

My parents make an enormous amount of money so I cant get financial aid and can get a minimal amount of federal loans. I have a year of credits so I will go to a cc for one year and then to a 4 year uni for 2. Here is the breakdown:
year 1:
Transportation (car+gas+insurance): 7k
Community college tuition: 2.5k
Miscellaneous: 2k

year 2 and 3 (per year):
Tuition: 17k
Transpiration: 7k
Miscellaneous: 2k

This comes out to 63.5k for 3 years of college. How on earth will I pay that? Is my only option to take out massive private loans?

Edit:
please dont suggest I join the military

Edit 2:
I’ll just be donating plasma!

This girl from school invited me over to her house for a study session. I’ve had all the same classes with her for the past three years (we’re juniors) but she’s quiet, and we’ve never really talked. I was surprised when she asked me over, but I accepted to be nice.

We were studying in the living room and I had to use the bathroom, so I went down the hall to find it, but took a wrong turn into her bedroom. And you wouldn’t believe what I found. Right when you open her door, there’s a bulletin hanging on the wall with the names of the top 10 students in our grade (we do class rank and I’m in the top 10, and so is she). That itself isn’t all that creepy I guess. Maybe it’s some weird sort of motivation thing.

But she has a bulleted list beneath each name of weirdly personal information. Under mine, she had “Plays basketball, involved in FBLA, interested in UChicago/Northwestern, strong in English class, weak in math class, multiple state level awards.” I was just shocked and super shaken up. I didn’t even know she paid any attention to me at all. Like, I was seriously scared. It reminded me of something from 48 Hours. I made an excuse and left quickly afterward.

Is she dangerous? Like, is this some short of hitlist? Is she planning to harm me?

I got accepted to my 2nd-choice university, and I am really scared that they will take my decision away.

A few nights ago my friends and I decided to have some fun on an empty, straight, six-lane highway. I was doing some 40 rolls in my modified Civic, and little did I know there was a trooper running lidar who caught my ass at 106 in a 65 😭😭 I pulled over, was taken out of my vehicle, and arrested immediately. My mom bailed me out and is pissed at me. I am going to court soon and am facing heavy fines, a misdemeanor, and maybe jail time idk.

Will I get rescinded for this?

I lost one of my parent from anesthesia, and I said that I was interested in the study of chemistry to develop more stable anesthesia in my interview for Stanford. My interviewer said "this is not a good motivation. Losing your parent is not your accomplishment and using it as a reason to go to a med school is unfair to other kids who have healthy parent". I felt personaly attacked and I almost cried during my Zoom session 😭

Is what he said actually "reasonable" or should I talk about it to my guidance counselor? I really don't know what to do😭

​

EDIT: I applied to Stanford College not Stanford Med School.

Edit 2: Is there, by any chance, my interviewer will get notified the fact that I reported him? Do you think I should first send him an email THEN talk to my guidance counselor and ask him to report this to the admission office?

Edit 3: I just talked with my counselor and we will be reporting the case. Thank you again for all the comments. I will post updates.

Update (Feb.12) : I wrote an email to the admission office a few days ago but no reply at the moment. WTF😭 I hate this college😭

Be grateful you even have the opportunity to apply to college, this whole process in itself costs money.

Having the ability to attend college is not as common as you think especially in this economy.

That state school you shit on is someone's dream to be able to attend.

Constantly on this sub, I see students talking about starting NPO's and other programs to help underrepresented minorities or those who are low income. Now, this isn't bad if you're actually passionate about helping these people and making a difference. However, to those who are starting these organizations and programs solely for resumes or college admissions, I want you to hear me.

As a low-income minority myself, it's so uncomfortable to see mostly White and Asian upper-class students on this sub talk about us as if we're just another activity that can be added to a resume. It's so heartbreaking to see most of you talk about us as if we're just another trophy that can be added to your trophy case. It's like most of you don't even see us as human. It's also incredibly uncomfortable to see us be suggestions for extracurriculars in the EC flair or on r/ECAdvice. "Why don't you start an organization for *insert marginalized community*". It's so dehumanizing to see us used as tokens you guys can use to boost your resume or better your chances of getting into a good school.

It's so disgusting to see all of you start these phony organizations, claiming that you want to help a marginalized community, but instead you're only using us to make yourself look better on a resume. The worst part is the issues that most of you claim to want to resolve through your organization are REAL issues that are affecting REAL people. Instead of seeing these issues as serious issues that need to be resolved, most of you see them as opportunities. While real people are being affected by these issues, you guys exploit their suffering and oppression and use it to your own benefit.

What's so sad is that some of you actually get in contact with these marginalized communities and "work" with them. They think that you're actually trying to help them when in actuality, they're nothing but an opportunity for you.

And it sucks that there are people like me who are inside these communities and actually want to help their community but lack the resources to do so.

Minorities and those who are low-income are NOT your puppets. We are NOT your extracurriculars!

If you know anyone doing something like this, please talk to them and advise them to stop. If you are the owner of an NPO or program, please re-evaluate your intentions and ask yourself: "Am I doing this for the right reasons?" or "Do I actually really want to do this?"

(Again, if you have started or want to start an NPO or program that would help underrepresented minorities/those who are low-income and you're actually doing it with good intentions, please do. I am in no way discouraging you from doing this!)

i feel the legacy/donation system is extremely unfair and classist, im just posting this to show that donations and legacy status isnt an instant acceptance even with good stats. on one hand im sad i didnt get in, but on the other it makes me feel at peace knowing someone much smarter than me got into harvard 💖 plenty of you on this subreddit are way more deserving, and im proud of all of you regardless of your results!

my stats:

-1540 SAT

-4.4 weighted GPA

-full IB diploma with 4 HLs including math

-quite a few ECs and honors (nothing crazy just 2 club president positions, honor societies, volunteer clubs, FBLA nationals, and other minor awards)

- a dad who went to harvard who donated close to $1M over the course of 50 years (he's old asf, long story)

he didn't donate for me to get in, my family didn't even consider having children until much later in life with IVF (mom 77 & dad 73). without the donation/legacy i am nowhere near harvard level stats (nor would i feel deserving if i got in). donations/legacy are not everything! but they still give others an unfair advantage.

i know how hard you all have worked and im happy knowing the anxiety of college decision season is over!

Screw it, I think this post has to be made.

This year's application cycle was a bloodbath. Just one look at the numbers will tell you that. Nearly every top college had its acceptance rate halved. Schools are closing waitlists left and right, accepting fewer kids and more. Mix that with COVID, a virtual senior year, almost no outside support - and you get the perfect mix of stress, exhaustion and a deep-seated bitterness.

People on this sub are getting all riled up because the class of 2025 is complaining, but we have arguably every right to complain. We got a shitty end of the stick. Now the class of 2024 and 2026 are struggling as well, but I'm not trying to win the pity Olympics here. The truth is that our grade pushed through a lot and found pretty abysmal results. And yes, I know that nobody is "guaranteed" a college anywhere, and that nothing can "ensure" you get into X school - but when you see 15 percent acceptance rates fall to below 7.5%, its a struggle to keep pushing forward.

Our grade got screwed over by covid, by test-optional, by the gap-years, by the financial issues, and god damn the list just keeps going. And I understand, I understand why the class of 2024 took gap years, I understand why schools went optional. But it still freaking hurts. It hurts because the class of 2024 did take seats away from the class of 2025 (there's no disputing the fact that many schools either accepted fewer kids to account for the gap year students or are closing their waitlists to account for the over enrollment that happened due to gap years). It hurts that I tried so damn hard on the act to get a good score - only for those hours to not be worth anything. It hurts because a lot of us did everything right but as an entire class, we still got screwed over.

So the very least everybody on this subreddit can do is stfu and let us grieve. Let us grieve over our dreams and over what we lost. Let us complain and then let us heal. We all know that "in 10 years this won't matter", but guess what? It matters right now and because it matters right now, it matters. We all know that its silly of us to complain about not getting into dream schools when there's a pandemic going on. We know. We understand. But that doesn't make the pain hurt any less. I also think that if you are not a member of the class of 2025, you should stay out of the discussion on posts like this unless its a cheering up comment like "congrats on wherever you're committed to OP!" The class of 2024 cannot truly understand this struggle and I'm honestly sorry to say it, but next year the class of 2026 may indeed understand this struggle (I genuinely hope you don't have to face this battle, but its not looking too hot rn).

I also think that scaring the juniors is not the best way to get this message out - but my last bit of advice to you is to guard your hearts carefully around these schools. Research about them, learn about them but try not to fall in love until after you have that acceptance letter in hand. Its far easier to fall in love with a school rather than fall back out of love.

I try really hard on this sub to be optimistic and a source of some happiness with the insane WL season that we're in rn, but I really think this had to be said.

Much love guys and remember we WILL be successful. We WILL do great things and we WILL get off these WLs :)

Edit: I'm trying to reply to everybody, but I'm sorry if I couldn't reply lol. I'll try to get through to everybody as soon as I can

My best friend passed away two weeks ago due to an unfortunate incident: A car hit him when he was riding his bike to school. He used to be stressed about college applications as wanted to make his parents proud by getting into a good college. For the last two years, Michigan was his dream school. He always talked about how he would spend his time and meet new people at college. Unfortunately, he passed away just a few days before the decision date. His parents told me that he received a notification that he was admitted to Michigan. I couldn't stop crying listening to that. I think getting into your dream school but not living long enough is the saddest part of college applications. A lot of people on this sub are saying that they want to die. But remember, death is an end. It is empty and not as simple as it seems.

To all the people of A2C, enjoy your life along with building your profile for college as life is unpredictable and we might have to face something which we are not ready for.

Edit: Thanks guys for all your support in the comments. And yes, I am doing well.

Colorado Academy and three other unnamed high schools have received a one-year ban on early decision applicants because students backed out of an ED agreement after being accepted. Article in NYTimes today. https://www.nytimes.com/2025/10/26/business/tulane-early-decision-colorado-academy.html?unlocked_article_code=1.wU8.9wBq.Qebrx0FghTCn&smid=url-share

Hey everybody,

I have to make the (very privileged) decision in between studying PPE at Oxford (Magdalen) and going to Harvard for Undergrad.

I'm from Germany and - from the German perspective - everything that's happening in the US rn is insanely frightening with professors like Snyder fleeing to Canada, student visas being canceled, funding threatened, ICE raiding colleges etc.

Generally, in a world without/before Trump I think I would've surely gone to Harvard, but at the moment the US just really does not feel like a country where you'd like to study - especially as an international where you cannot express any political opinions without having to fear visa cancellation.

What do you think?

(PLEASE no hyperpatriotic and utopian arguments for why the US is still paradise on earth and I should go there; most Americans I talked to about this tend to react that way, but it's just not at all helpful)

So as the title says, my mom is very against me going to college because she thinks it’s full of bad stuff like drinking and smoking and sex and wtv and she wants to go to some religious program thing but like I already got into and committed to a school where I got a full ride and scheduled classes (did all of this behind her back because she would never approve of it) and yesterday she had a huge fight with me where she said to not go to college and go to the religious thing but I really do not want to go there at all and I’m super sad and stressed and now I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried reasoning with her and trying to get my dad to help me but to no avail.

Quick Caveat: Always look at a school's specific definition for this question, because schools ask about your parents' educational background differently. For example, I believe some of the UCs ask specifically if anyone in your family obtained a bachelor's degree from a school in the United States.

For the VAST MAJORITY of other institutions, you do not qualify as a first generation student if your parents did their undergrad abroad. This applies equally to international students and to US Citizens whose parents did their undergrad abroad.

Apparently this needs some rehashing after a Harvard Tiktoker, Olivia Zhang, made many videos implying that she is first gen, despite having parents who completed undergrad, masters, and PHDs abroad (and even an MBA in the United States).

Can we please take a moment to understand why those who have parents with bachelor equivalent degrees abroad do not qualify as First Gen. "First Generation" is a status designated to recognize the unique challenges that students who are the first in their family to go to college face. These students are unable to rely on parental advice for navigating seminars, academic advising, office hours, and many other elements that are crucial for college success. It is not a coincidence that the First Generation community overlaps significantly with those from blue collar, working class, and low income backgrounds.

Students with college educated parents are advantaged in this respect. They are not complete outsiders to the realm of higher education and its practices. Their families are more apt to recognize and emphsize the importance of education, and to thus better prepare and equip their children for the higher education landscape.

Obviously, foreign schools have their differences from American universities. If your parents received their education in China, or Brazil, or England, your experiences in college in the US will look different than theirs. But to equate these differences to a First Generation experience is improper and frankly insulting.

Especially for someone like Olivia, her parents' 15+ combined years spent in higher education will no doubt equip them with wisdom to share and privilege to pass on to their children. She will not be the first in her family to author a research paper, receive advising from a professor, or work in a white collar career because of the privilege her college degree will bestow upon her. Furthermore, she grew up with parents who emphasize the value of education, good grades, and hard work, because they first hand have been able to experience the upward mobility that graduate and professional degrees from top universities can bring.

I understand that the nature of social media and college admissions encourages students to market and sell themselves with compelling stories. While being the first in one's family to attend a university in this country comes with its unique challenges, it is not comparable to the first gen struggle. If it were, then plenty of wealthy, international students would fall into this category.

It really does hurt to see someone distort their story and obscure their privileged background so blatantly to build a following. It hurts more to see people defend this behavior, say that "its not that deep," and to empower someone to build a platform off of the false suggestion that she is first generation. It is always a shame when creators who build accounts to bring transparency to the admissions process are the opposite of transparent when it comes to representing their backgrounds.

I graduated in 2009 I had a high GPA and was the valedictorian But due to family circumstances I wasn’t able to go to college

This year I finally started applying to colleges. Then a huge problem arose, my high school lost all of my transcripts and had no evidence of me ever attending there.

Due to my parents not loving me (I was one of 11 kids and called them out when they were being bad parents) they did not save any report cards, any test scores, or even my high school diploma. They also didn’t come to my graduation so there is no evidence of me graduating.

The state I graduated from does not have a state transcript depository so I can’t get them through the state. The school will not make up new transcripts for me. And the school has tried to send letters stating that my transcripts are lost but they won’t accept it.

What should I do

Here's one to the people that just did okay in high level classes cause they were too lazy to study the entire time and are now paying for it. Here's to those that are out there with almost competitive stats. Here's to those that failed an AP test. Here's to those that blew schoolwork off for fun and then had to turn around and blow fun off for schoolwork. Here's to not finessing the Ivy League even though our guidance counselors told us we were on track for it. Here's to us.

I’m an alum. It breaks my heart to say this. I worked so hard to get into Columbia and I did my best to have a good college experience. I was so happy getting in originally.

Columbia was the most emotionally exhausting, toxic atmosphere I’ve ever experienced in my life. People are very accusatory and love to cause drama over nothing. Administration is not supportive. Career services and pre professional advising are not strong whatsoever. And, they’ve just sent a “shelter in place” warning to all students because the campus has turned into a crazy mess due to the Israel/Gaza conflict. Those who don’t comply “will face disciplinary action.” All libraries and dining halls are locked down…during finals period.

I have lots of exposure to students who attended other schools. Go anywhere else. My fellow alums and I are disenchanted for good reason and people from my graduating class are shamed at the idea of donating to this school. We have no school pride and you deserve a better experience.

Happy to answer more questions.

Hi guys OkEgg back at it again! Just finished finals at Barnard and I'm super excited for my internship and hanging out w friends this summer! I'm doing waitlist calls again and I finished my first round and called 15+ schools about their waitlist - I see all of your comments about schools I should call and I promise I will get to them! Most schools have just started their waitlist process from my understanding so I will call them in like a few days-to a weekish once they can give me more specific info. All of these calls were made 5/13/26.

PSA: If you are on the Barnard waitlist, dm me directly instead of asking to call! I have a ton of friends who got off the Barnard waitlist and I can give very very specific advice of what they want to see.

UPENN: They don’t have any set date rn that waitlist decisions will be released. There hasn’t been any waitlist movement so far and they advise you to just wait. There will only be one wave where everyone finds out.

Stanford: At this time they have yet to go to the waitlist because their yield was very high. The latest people will get a decision is by end of July

Washu: They are currently looking at the waitlist and people have been taken off so far. They will release decisions in waves and they don’t really have an end date for when people will be taken off. They decide based on the divisions and see which ones are in need.

Wellesley:The waitlist is still open and they are actively reviewing applications and there will be offers made in the next couple of weeks. Just make sure you send a LOCI and the admissions officer highly recommends writing that Wellesley is your first choice because they look for that. Waitlist will end at end of June or July

Williams: They haven’t admitted anyone yet. They are currently in a holding pattern and reviewing their numbers - they haven’t finalized anything so they don’t know about the waitlist yet. When they finalize everything they will send an email. 

UCHICAGO:All of their waitlist decisions will be done by the end of the month and that’s all the info they have. Decisions will likely be rolling

Tulane: Right now they recommend students just enroll somewhere else because they are pretty sure that no one will be taken off the waitlist this year. They hold the waitlist up until the year starts.

Harvard: They have not taken anyone off yet and are still in the process of determining who will make it out. All decisions will be made by July 1st. There will be multiple rounds of waitlist decisions but the first round has not been sent out yet.

MIT: They have not taken anyone off yet but they are actively figuring out how many people they can let off the waitlist. They do not know how many are going to get off. They will have a decision made about waitlists in the next couple of weeks or so and everyone will get a decision by the end of May.

Villanova: They already made their class and are honestly just waiting to see what other schools are doing. The admissions committee is still meeting about the waitlist and everyone will be notified by June 30th if they will go to the waitlist or if you will be released from it. She said to keep your eye on the portal.

Amherst:No one has been taken off yet but the waitlist is not closed. They haven’t set any dates where you can expect to hear back but they’ll send emails

Northwestern: Some people have been taken off the waitlist so far. They determine how much they take off week to week. The waitlist will continue till end of May. It comes in waves.

Johns Hopkins:The waitlist will start being updated pretty soon (in the couple weeks) and will go on all the way until August. They didn’t have much other information.

Brown: They’re not sure if the process has started yet and it’s ongoing. They don’t know if there’s an end date yet. They typically do it in waves. Didn’t get much helpful info but that might be bcuz it’s early in the process

Bryn Mawr:If you are accepted, you will know between now and the end of May via email.

Dartmouth:  People haven’t been taken off yet. That’s all the information they gave 

I understand that most of this info isn't very specific, and a lot of it is because the waitlist process is just beginning for more schools and they don't have too much info about waitlist acceptances. If anyone wants me to recall some of these schools or call other schools, feel free to comment on this or my past posts and I will get to them. Again, I'll make a part 2 in like a few days or a week where schools have more info about their waitlist this year

Much love,

OkEgg

I fucking hate this school. Throwaway account for obvious reasons.

When I got in, everyone told me that Harvard was going to be a golden ticket to any job that I wanted and I was excited to come here. And it was actually pretty fun my first semester: everyone seemed like they were so accomplished and motivated and destined to get rich and have the time of their lives.

The problem is that NO ONE tells you how many students here get internships and jobs through their parents or family friends. There are obviously the super smart IMO-level kid geniuses that do well in recruiting, but a stupidly large majority of undergrads have some connection to at least one prestigious company that they use to get in. And the worst part is that they never fucking tell you this.

I spent 4 years trying to get an investment banking job (because Harvard, sorry) and could not break in for the life of me. I had a 3.9, did a lot of mock interviews, practiced my technicals and never got an offer. I talked to my friends here about it who said it was just bad luck and it turns out both their dads worked as vice presidents at a top bank and are now partners at private equity firms. And guess where they got their internships. yeah.

I’m graduating this year and taking a marketing job at the same local firm as my friend from high school who went to our state school. A lot of my low-income friends at Harvard are doing something similar. The system is messed up. Everyday I wish I never went to Harvard because at least I would have had fun and fit in at my state school unlike here where nearly everyone is going to Mykonos and Spain for fun literally every month.

I’m not even mad that I didn’t get a nice job. I’m mad that no one fucking told me that meritocracy is mostly bullshit and that the reason why so many Harvard kids do well is because they were going to do well anyways. Their parents would have gotten them a job at Goldman or MS and they wouldn’t have batted an eye. Maybe I'm just stupid for not realizing this before I got here. I don't know, but I hate it.

I’m writing this so you don’t make the same mistake I did. Don’t get me wrong. Harvard is still a good school. The classes are high quality and research opportunities are great for my STEM friends. But do not think that the Harvard name itself is going to outrageously help a normal or low-income person get a top job. Because it isn’t. If I could quantify it I’d say that Harvard is only 1% better for jobs than the Dukes and UC Berkeleys of the world. Don’t be blinded by A2C prestige posts. Don't go here if you have better options whether that be a local school, a cheaper school, or a school that's just a better fit.

If you want to come to Harvard to advance your career, do it for your MBA where everyone is on the same level and they force you to network. Harvard College sucks. Sorry, rant over.

You were crossing the street around 6 PM when a drunk driver ran you through. Didn’t even stop. I’d like to think that it was painless, that you didn’t suffer, but that’s probably just me trying to cope. Ford F-150s are probably pretty painful at 45 miles per hour.

A2C, my friend died a few hours ago.

I was telling Georgetown about my special talents when I got the call. My pen spinning tricks didn’t feel so important anymore. People aren’t supposed to cry when you ask them what’s up.

But then again, you weren’t supposed to die at eighteen, either, were you?

I remember sitting next to you on the bus on our way to the first day of first grade. We thought we were cool because we weren’t wearing those shitty two-point seatbelts. Your mom had made you get a haircut the day and you didn’t like it.

I remember playing basketball on the hoop in your driveway, your dad bringing us bottles of water with a smile after you buried the game-winning shot over me.

I remember celebrating with you after you made varsity.

I remember when you got into your dream school ED. You had all the shirts and hats and posters in your room. You facetimed me while you were joining all the giddy groupchats filled with future classmates that all had [college] ‘25 in their Instagram bios and smiling profile pics. But what’s the point of all these shiny, earthly things when...

fuck.

I’ll never get to make faces at you from across the locker room while coach is trying to get us to focus on the new offense he wants to implement for tomorrow’s game.

I’ll never get to shoulder-bump you after you score.

I’ll never get to pass you when we’re both waking our dogs at midnight because we were up late studying for that god-awful electrochem test that we both ended up getting Bs on even though we thought our Quizlet had everything.

fuck.

And my feelings are probably nothing compared to your family’s. Fuck, your family...

Your older brother who taught you how to play chess is probably flying back from college right now, and your younger sister who ran to you when she was scared won’t understand what’s wrong until tomorrow morning. Your dog is probably just confused why you hasn’t come yet.

She doesn’t get that you never will.

I can’t even begin to imagine how your parents feel. They thought they were saying goodbye for the afternoon, but they didn’t know they were saying goodbye forever.

They didn’t know that you wouldn’t graduate high school.

They didn’t know that they’d never make you another dinner again.

I wonder what the last thing you ate was?

fuck.

There’s a certain cosmic irony for me in this sub. As we’re all panicking about our essays and last-minute apps, we miss the forest for the trees. Hug your parents. Take deep breaths. Tell your friends what they mean to you.

I wish I could’ve told you before it was too late.

College bros, can y’all please promise me that you won’t joke about wanting to die?

Everything is ephemeral and nothing is real.

None of us realize how good we’ve got it.