I have been reading a book "nude and art" (desnudo y arte: original title) and it gives a lot of examples about female representation through both male and female perspectives. So I kept thinking about all the iconic paintings I know and almost all of them represent women. I'm sticking to paintings but I'm sure it happens in photography, music and cinema too. So, why is it that men don't seem to be as attractive in terms of being a muse?

Hi🫶 Me (30F) and someone I’ve been going on dates with (31M) we’re having a conversation about our views on the progression of women’s rights in America specifically. I said that the idealized versions of American life (I’ve seen a lot of people say the 50s?) were not that great due to lack of rights such as not being able to own a credit card, no right to abortion, etc.

He said, that modern feminism has actually deteriorated the part of its movement because it has gone too far. He said there are different respects women had back in the day we don’t have now, which was “women and children got to go on the lifeboats in the titanic first” and “I would have happily died with those men”.

What’s everyone’s take on this? Are there some “cultural respects” we lose as we work towards progress? If so, why do those respects disappear?

Edit: I don’t know much about the titanic and thank you everyone for educating me! I felt icky about his comment but wasn’t sure if I was experiencing cognitive dissonance or not.

so i’ve been dealing with my mental health for a while and healing from unhealthy relationships and sexual experiences.

i’ve always been a very sexual woman and as a cishet woman was sometimes judged for that even by my sexual partners. (thanks puritanical culture!) i ended up hating even my physicality, not just sexuality.

now i would like to expose myself to some sensitive sex positive content from a feminist perspective that could help me embrace myself, i think it could help me to let myself explore my desires and needs.

i am pretty sure my fellow feminists have dealt with similar issues, so would really appreciate some podcasts recommendations. pls no girl boss content

There's a lot of youtubers who make content for other men, on how to 'cold approach' women on the street.

I'm really upset any could do this, it's teaching men how to approach women and it usually harras's them.

Youtubers like Coach kyle and fitxfearless do this, it upsets me, because it teaches men to approach me in the mall or when i'm alone, to try get my number. i wish that content didnt exist, it would stop men approaching me, and this content of cold approaching women and asking for number needs to stop

An example of a trope that comes to mind is the DID (Damsel in distress) where it usually shows women being helpless and incapable, always dependent on being saved by a man. While the trope is a classic, it's still misogynistic in my eyes. The did doesn't always have to be the princess in the tower who needs help from the dragon, it's just a women who needs saving from a man most the time because she's incapable.

I'm 49 and work line at a restaurant in Austin. between shifts I lift, ride my bike, and scroll fitness stuff that keeps telling guys we need visible abs or we're slacking. the same standards that used to hit women now feel aimed at men through supplements and health docs that tie discipline to how we look. i know patriarchy built the rules, but I wonder how feminists handle this when guys bring it up. does it pull focus away from women or show how the same system hurts everyone?

If people are believed to be primates then is feminism simply another form of social dominance - an attempt by organisms to control their environment via epistemology?

I was a little shocked to find out that women werent allowed to have credit cards prior to 74. I always assumed that the country became more progressive early on.

So what did single women do, if they wanted mortgage or a loan? How did this affect relations between men and women then?

It must have been especially sad for women who had brothers able to get credit but couldn’t for themselves.

Also the vietnam war drafting men, would have put immense pressure on women when it comes to managing finances. Like imagine if someone’s husband was drafted in the war. Women back then would gave had to manage everything on their own while still having restrictions in banking, which is insane.

I often see people suggest that household chores should be divided so that both partners have roughly equal amounts of free time. I think that's an important consideration, but I'm skeptical that it's sufficient to establish fairness.

Suppose one partner works 60 hours per week at a paid job, while the other works 40 hours at a paid job and spends another 20 hours performing all the household chores.

Both partners have equal amounts of free time, but one performs absolutely no household chores.

Would you consider that arrangement fair simply because both partners have equal free time? If not, what makes it unfair despite that equality?

That's the question for feminists. How do i fight the patriarchy as a man? How do i fight misogyny ?

If people in a household are dividing household chores, how do you ensure a fair division and what do you think should be taken into account?

My thoughts so far:

- adults should have a comparable amount of free time (like if one works more hours at a paid job, they should spend less time doing chores)

- kids should have fewer and easier chores, with more/heavier chores as they get older

- account for personal preferences or pet peeve chores, like if one person is quick to barf, they should probably not clean the drains

- mental load should be as equal as possible

- physical and mental ability, like if one person is super short, they should probably not be the one to clean the highest cabinets

What should not play a role in my view:

- gender roles (like men should not do outside chores and women inside chores just because of their gender)

- how much everyone makes, unless they willingly reduced hours at their job to have more free time- but then it's more about free time, not money

I am specifically asking feminists in order to avoid some sexist pitfalls, both blind spots I might have, and non-feminist threads would probably include.

For example the term patriarchy to me just often seems to be so offensive. And even if I go to the FAQ and it defines Patriarchy as "The Patriarchy is "a system of society or government in which men hold the power and women are largely excluded from it".

To me that just doesn't seem to apply to modern western societies. Like I am a thirty two year old man. What power do I hold over women? It doesn't feel like I have absolutely any. I have also seen various other definitions, but they all somehow seem to imply that society believes that men have an inherently higher position to women.

If I look at my life I see vastly more programs to benefit women. Be it at university, be it at work. And particularly in university we already see more women than men entering.

Men are often described as aggressive and threatening. That feels so generalizing. That feels so offensive to me as a person. I really tried intellectually engage with the thing (I tried reading Bell Hooks for example).

It also feels so patronizing to be told to check my privilege, when it feels like I am not privileged because I am a man. I am probably much more privileged because I live in the wealthy western family and was born to a family of reasonable means.

I really want to get into understanding this. I absolutely do believe in equality. It just feels like a lot of feminism is so hostile to me as a man.

I find it more and more difficult not to succumb to raging misandry on reddit and the internet in general.

Following any dating subreddits, any general-themed subreddits where conversations about women spark up and even women only spaces on reddit (that have become more and more invaded by misogynists) I see countless conversations that are just outright detoured by what-about-isms, strawmen and other fallacies that debate bros like to employ (and even more often just straight up misogynist statements). I try my best to engage in good faith with these people but it quickly becomes apparent that I'm just wasting time and raising my cortisol for no good reason.

Now, I know that get off the internet, uninstall reddit or whatever else sane, touch-some-grass advice is the mature way to go about it. But it feels like a defeat. It feels like I'm letting these horrible people win.

So, idk what the correct approach is here and how you stay sane on reddit/the internet at large (although reddit in particular feels like it's brimming with racist and sexist people).

I ask this for a very specific purpose. Media Literacy classes can serve a lot purposes as in - 1.Resistance to misinformation 2. Better critical thinking 3. Probably healthier gender relations.

But I ask this very specifically in this recent trend on tiktok and X. So basically this creator flaunts her planned parenthood appointment when she finds out that the gender of her baby is a boy. And she's getting a lot of support from other women in the comments. Now, look the jokes as in " it's either a girl or abortion " or commenting - "condolenses ", " you're birthing your oppressor" aren't new and they happened in like the most obscure corners of the internet .

But this is a first time in has become a "trend" or a creator has talked about it .The reason i'm talking and it was mostly boys reacting to it. It's probably anybodys guess whether she was joking or was she being legit? I'll probably get eviscerated here but I don't think young boys should be looked at as - "future oppressors/ r@pists/abusers" . I also think that such content shouldn't be a young guys introduction to feminism.

Now I love myself some punching up jokes - jokes made at the expense of men. But I just find such content just, idk offensive.

Now am I saying that - this type of sentiment is representative of majority of feminism - No. Also, do I think such sentiment benefits the feminist movement in any way- also No.

Young people need to learn how to distinguish between an individual's opinion and a broader social trend, between engagement and genuine public support, and between criticism of a system and hostility towards an entire group of people.

But here's what I find particularly concerning: the role of social media in amplifying these sentiments. Social media platforms reward engagement. Usually the most inflammatory and polarizing content often travels a lot. And this feeds right into the ammo of redpill/manosphere guys , pro-lifers who see abortion as a morally wrong act .

There's research that shows that such education is effective.

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S253038051830011X?utm_source=chatgpt.com

https://www.je-lks.org/ojs/index.php/Je-LKS_EN/article/view/1136321

Ultimately, media literacy classes won't eliminate monline polarization, but they can help young people navigate these issues more critically. They can teach students to question what algorithms amplify, distinguish fringe opinions from broader social attitudes, and recognize when legitimate criticism of social structures turns into hostility towards an entire group. The goal shouldn't be to shield boys or girls from uncomfortable opinions, but to equip them to evaluate those opinions without being manipulated by outrage. If we want healthier gender relations, we need young people who can challenge harmful ideas without developing contempt for one another.

It seems to me that to feminists, every way boys were raised is a negative for them. For example, they were taught to be more confident, so will lead to condescending behaviour and "mansplaining". They were taught less cooperative behaviour and social skills and so are more isolated in adulthood compared to women. They are taught to be more independant and ambitious, so are failing more in classrooms etc.

This leads me to believe that in childhood, sexism must impact men more than it does women, seeing as they have been raised with all these negative traits compared to women who have none, according to feminism.

I can't think of a single behaviour due to socialisation (according to feminists), that leads a negative trait in a woman, but a positive trait in a men. Is this just a massive coincidence, or is it bias from a womens point of view (ie they will view their own socialized traits as positive).

If not can there be an positive ways men are raised compared to women, that lead to better behaviour in an average man then a woman in that area.

Feels like honor and service fraternities and sororities offer cover for social fraternities who point to their origin stories as honor societies and the “good work” the Greek system does. I don’t want to punish these groups but if they did drop Greek letters to drop any association, it would be a powerful statement.

For those asking for a specific context, i mainly asked this to see if men did this more often by your comments.

Here is the specific reason i asked it; i made a comment on idksterling's video about a women 'helping' baby turtles in a bucket back into the ocean. Idk sterling was being fair and said she probably didn't know what she was doing was harming the turtles- when you don't let them make the intense run to the ocean themselves, predators can starve, and the babies can drown because they don't wake up their muscles to be able to swim properly.

So i commented "what sucks is she probably thought she was doing the right thing." And others made some pretty valid points like saying she could've looked into it, and that optimism isn't always an excuse. Shower i started getting hundreds of comments saying im a simp for defending her, I'm a foid, and calling her and all women (here is the generalization part), are irresponsible, too emotional which causes them to destroy everything, so they agreed with one another that women shouldn't have rights, that women cannot take responsibility and accountability. Comments were saying "y'know, a women being held accountable for once in her sad life wouldn't hurt anyone."

People commenting "women☕️". And so I know reacting to internet trolls is kinda pathetic, it still got to me so i came here to ask if any of you have also faced that overused saying about women not being able to take accountability.

In other comments section i usually see women being sexualized in the content, and in the comments people saying "women sexualize themselves all the time, its not 'us men's fault' it's nice to accountability every now and then, girls." And comments of the sort.

That very type of comment also seems to be the men not taking accountability for creating an environment that objectifies women and blames them for thinking thats all they can do for attention when that's kinda what society has brought up a lot of women into thinking.

The specific video was a 15 year old skater having very revealing clothing. A great pot of People thankfully spoke against it that while she was talented, its messed up to make women, and especially a minor, wear a revealing outfit. They than talked about how women tend to be forved to wear revealing outfits for sports, so their bodies can be marketed and sexualized for sale "sex sales".

Do they all hate women or are there those who simply accept that they can't date if that's what they think and just live on not bothering anyone?

I see a lot of sourcing from feminists that a reason why patriarchy still exists is because of disparity in physical abuse statistics, but this seems like an issue that wouldn't be solved if there was true gender equality.

This is not even factoring in the fact that men and women are different physiologically and factors like testosterone could very well lead to higher aggression, but also men are in way more positions to commit physical behaviour.

The distribution of abuse in a relationship are pretty similar between the sexes (I think 2:3 in men:women), but men are simply in more positions and have more chances to commit physical abuse compared to the other way around. As well as this it can be more impulsive compared to women who need to be more premeditated (such as taking a weapon or something)

This is similar to how there are more abusive mothers than abusive fathers towards their children, this is because there are simply more mothers who are in that position and there exists a severe power imbalance, so they have an opportunity to be abusive.

So is it fair to say in a society with no patriarchy there will still be a disparity in this type of crime?

I promise this isn’t a “men have it just as bad!” post.

But I need help framing my experiences in a way that is still in line with feminism.

A lot of my friends who are women will talk about issues like being mansplained to, or having their

Ideas and accomplishments ignored at work, etc.

My problem is, I often feel like I experience the same things.

There’s a guy we work with sometimes in the freelance world who my women friends will complain mansplains to them…but he also often tells me things about how to do my job, which he knows very little about.

Or another example, my friend and I were both overlooked for a freelance job. She complained it was obvious she wasn’t chosen due to sexism (we have similar resumes). I felt like it was more that the people chosen were very self-promotional, a trait I’ve never had.

So I just have some cognitive dissonance at times. I want to support their feelings, but another part of me is saying “hey, I had that problem too.”

It makes me wonder if it’s more about issues like being loud, self congratulatory, arrogant (which often go along with hypermasculinity) at the root issue.

Again, I know these types of problems are pretty low down on the list of issues women face, so not saying at all that I am equally marginalized.

But how can I understand these two competing feelings from a feminist perspective?

I think she’s an anti-racist, anti-bigotry humanist: and she should have the support of all liberty loving men and women in America.

The republicans perpetually scapegoat her out of bigotry, xenophobia, racism and sexism.

Me and my friends were talking about relationships and how we handled disagreements. One of my friends mentioned that she would just hit her bf to make him agree with her. My other friends proceeded to laugh and agreed. One of them also said that this is a normal behavior. She is a misandrist and I assumed she had done her research. Both of their defense is men do it all the time to woman so its okay to do so. However, I always had the thought that hitting your s/o is wrong regardless of the gender. Just wanted to know if im a male centered person or if I’m even allowed to call myself a feminist.

I’ve been seeing a lot of posts where they say the patriarchy is unfalsifiable, if a man is rich it’s because of the patriarchy if he is poor it’s because of the patriarchy if he’s sad and happy it’s patriarchy. And others also say it relies on the apex fallacy where they say men are majority of military deaths and work deaths they also do majority of the hard/ dangerous jobs most women wouldn’t do. How do I respond to this?

So I asked what you would keep from the patriarchy and the unequivocal answer was nothing. So how do you distinguish what the patriarchy is responsible for and what it isnt. A few examples of good things that have occurred under the patriarchy might be space travel or many inventions of transport, medicines or electricity etc. You might think the Geneva convention, the United Nations or the red cross are good things formed under the patriarchy. So would you consider these things bad because of the patriarchy, things that would have happened anyway or they are part of another system existing despite the patriarchy?

Maybe I should add a bit the opposite way to if I talked about Hitler and Fascism or Stalin or Mao Tse Tung and communism. Would you class religion as patriarchy given the many bad things that have happened in the name of religion? Where is the line between what is patriarchy and what isnt? Following on from that if there are things that happen under the patriarchy but not because of the patriarchy is there some form of classification for them?