[ Removed by moderator ]

[u/Quirky-Duck1536]

[u/kazarnowicz]

This is removed. Reason: We are an English speaking community, posts written in other languages are always removed.

[u/WreckSpike307]

One of the biggest mistakes people make (I’ve made it more than once) is filling the silence. Let it be silent. Sure, take some initiative, but leave room for him to do the same. You’ve known each other for a month. Reality: you barely know him. Much of this is also biological, not a sign you’ve met your soul mate. Humans will heavily gravitate to the first person that shows them the affection they want, especially if they’ve been starved of it. Dopamine and oxytocin are real…and your brain is doing a lot of work here.

If the connection only stays alive because you’re constantly initiating and messaging (that’s the vibe I’m getting- might be wrong), then it’s not a connection worth having. Reciprocation matters.

Let it breathe and see what happens naturally.

[u/thedutchcatwoman]

Ik denk dat jullie een gesprek moeten hebben over wat jullie willen en of hij hetzelfde voelt als jij.

[u/Adventurous-Elk-5954]

Given that this sounds like you first kind of serious gay relationship I would say you need to slow down and take a step back. You need to look at this as potentially an emphatuatuon because it's your first experience. I had a similar experience and things went south because he wasn't looking for anything as serious as I was and I think he had the sense to recognise I was getting carried away with him being my first gay experience and started to distance himself. In the long run that was better for us both.

Good luck but just be mindful this might be the euphoria of the new and not necessarily healthy or appropriate for the long run.

[u/Quirky-Duck1536 → u/Adventurous-Elk-5954]

Kijk wat bij een ander mis is gegaan dat hoef bij ons niet te gebeuren. We hebben een fijne connectie samen, maar ik wil denk ik wat te snel. Ik heb de sneltrein genomen en hij de stoptrein. En zijn werk is bijzonder zwaar. Mentaal is hij na een dag werken uitgeput. Daar heb ik geen last van. Ik moet daar gewoon even mijn weg in zien te vinden. En met een rasechte introvert heeft dat tijd nodig. Stel je voor als we beide zeer Introvert waren dan kwamen we geen stap verder.

[u/Miserable-Status-280]

Very shy and introverted guy here. Too much attention can be suffocating. I can panic and just want to flee. Just compromise. Let there be the long silences. Don't send too many messages. Talk to him. Ask how much is too much.

[u/Quirky-Duck1536 → u/Miserable-Status-280]

Bedankt voor je bericht, dat waardeer ik enorm. Ik zal er met hem over gaan hebben, en probeer minder berichten te gaan sturen. Ik ben nou eenmaal een gevoelsmens. Dat is soms mijn valkuil. Niet dat het nu een slechte eigenschap is, maar misschien is het soms teveel. We zien elkaar meestal één dag in het weekend. Vorige weekend heb ik hem niet gezien. Twee weken vind ik dan best wel lang, al kan dat voor een rasechte introvert anders zijn natuurlijk.

[u/Miserable-Status-280 → u/Quirky-Duck1536]

You can look at it as a discipline thing, on your part. You love this guy and want to be everything for him, and that makes you pretty awesome, in my book. Just don't spook him. Anticipate his need for peace. Figure out how much you need to hold back. It sucks to say it like that, but if he's constantly in his head, be with him without putting pressure on him. He already knows you like to give him attention, and I'm sure he appreciates you. Just give him the space he needs, while being there with him. Sounds right, in my head, at least.