r/AskGaybrosOver30 • u/Flat-History-6867 30-34 • 6h ago
never had a boyfriend
anyone else over 30 here and never had a boyfriend? how do you cope?
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u/MidnightOakCorps 35-39 6h ago
38 yo and I've never dated and the more I think about the more I'm ok with it. I honestly would've been a complete disaster if I tried dating in my younger years. I was a catastrophic mess and wouldn't have been a good partner to anyone.
I'm finally at a point in life where I can readily identify what I want and what I need to do in order to get it. I never had that capacity when I was younger.
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u/HotspotOnline 30-34 6h ago
I get how you feel, I was very socially awkward when I was in my teens and 20's, so I barely even had friends, let alone a bf. I'm just now learning how to be more social and make new friends.
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u/VmBahabug 35-39 6h ago
From situationship to situationship. I joke i joke (not really)
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u/RedditAwesome2 30-34 6h ago
It’s the classic pattern!! Dl, married, dl, married lol … and the occasional long distance
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u/complexguyincmh 60-64 6h ago
64 never had one that lasted long. Just live life every day as well as you can. No requirement to have a ltr.
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u/ecastro05 30-34 6h ago
34 soon and also never had a bf. Never even gone past a second date. Life keeps me busy but I always swipe on apps in the hope that someone will match with me. Also reading a bunch of gay smut keeps me hopeful in a small way
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u/DiscussionMoist1098 40-44 3h ago
I didn't get into a relationship until I was 33. We broke up in June after 8.5 years together--I was 41. Though, yes, I have now been in a very longterm relationship, I am also struggling to cope with the idea that I am now single at a somewhat late stage of my life.
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u/Kevdog1800 35-39 1h ago
I’m 38. Been with mine for two months. I’m pretty smitten. At the theater now waiting for this Elizabeth Holmes documentary to start.
Have you done all of your homework? Healthy lifestyle/gym routine? Seen a therapist? I was asking myself when I would find a boyfriend until I realized I was kinda fat and kinda lazy and kinda a mess and wouldn’t have dated myself either, so I got to work and changed that.
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u/Madrinadelpozole9 35-39 6h ago
Same. But. I remain positive because I have friends who I can hang out with or things I can devout my energy too. I also have this immense freedom on how to act , dress , where I want to go. I don’t have a boyfriend now but when I got out I might and might not. Just living in a gift to me
I’m also very shy as well. But if yall want we can chat online
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u/iuieioiai 40-44 5h ago
Is it worse I feel like a failure for having two LTRs that both broke my heart when they ended and now I think it’s a miracle any two people stay together for more than a couple years?
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u/babyybollywolly 30-34 3h ago
33, never had a long term relationship. truthfully I wasnt ready, not until now.
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u/Express_Cheetah_2348 45-49 3h ago
Wait, so it's not just me? Good friends for the social aspect and porn for the sexual aspect
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u/benzguy95 30-34 6h ago
I just look at people who settled for less than they deserved and think to myself “I could never do that” and that keeps me sane.