r/AskReddit • u/Zoloft2026 • 20h ago
What are some signs that you are a very handsome guy?
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u/No-Blood-7274 14h ago
Gay men will tell you.
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u/Common_Vagrant 13h ago
Gay men helped me bring up my self esteem. I didn’t think I was a good looking guy when I was fresh out of high school, until I worked with a guy that saw what I was wearing and helped choose some better fitting clothes for me (we worked retail together) and it helped me out so much. Before that I had really bad self esteem.
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u/IndustriousSeahawk26 7h ago
As a straight guy who was handsome
When I was young, gay men honestly made me feel very appreciated , seen and attractive. They communicated clearly to me, unlike women , which made it so much more stable feeling than having to “read” her or guess . Gay men also reacted respectfully and stably when I tell them sorry I’m straight, which I appreciate tooSo much so that I wished I was just gay , but I simply am not. Kinda hate I’m attracted to beautiful women .
I’m very much view gay men positively as humans
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u/BigTanq 2h ago
Dudee you’ve described my view on this topic so well. 2 of my best friends in high school were gay and I’ve always been straight. I didn’t care which way they swung, we all smoked a bunch of weed and bonded over making fun memories. One of them did express interest at one point, but I let him know I don’t go that way. But they did make me feel slightly attractive and more confident in my looks, when most women in my life have treated me as discardable.
Sometimes I do wonder what it’d be like if I was gay, but I know when I look at a dick (even my own), it’s repulsive af. But I very much agree, some gay dudes are hella fun and great friends to have! It seems a lot of straight dudes aren’t very secure in their own sexuality, which could cause less straight + gay dude friendships
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u/losthope19 11h ago
Hope you thanked him properly 😉
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u/Mantastic89 10h ago
You are very right. Men are generally more straightforward in their communication, so a gay man usually just straight up tells you. I have been hit on by gay men and I sure as hell take it as a compliment.
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u/ThePVCPrincess 10h ago
Literallyyyyyy, I started going to the gym and made some straight friends, whenever iv complimented one of them they look surprised shocked and happy all rolled in one cause most have never heard a genuine compliment about their appearance or told they look good.
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u/No-Blood-7274 9h ago edited 8h ago
Some guys never hear it their whole lives, man.
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u/loconessmonster 5h ago
Gay men and older ladies. Especially the ones that are obviously older, its like they view themselves as more mature and use that authority to comment on your looks.
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u/petej685 13h ago
Lol I've been working out a bunch this year and suddenly 2 of my gay friends havev started dropping hints haha. Gay friends are awesomely blunt, now if only that could translate to people im interested in 🙃. I do wonder about the venn diagram of what gay men and straight women find attractive
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u/No-Blood-7274 13h ago
Fair question. I think gay people like all the same things about their partners as straight people. They like their hair, their smile, their eyes, their hands, their voice, parts of their body, their little mannerisms. Gay men seem to have a fascination with men’s armpits that straight women don’t though.
But you can rest assured if your friends have noticed, women have noticed too. The difference is gay dudes will just say it and women tend not to do that as much.10
u/Budschna 12h ago
I have a lot of gay friends who openly admit liking me or finding me attractive. Additionally they are attractive as well while I find myself just to be average. How to go from there as a straight male?😂
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u/Waste-Elderberry9887 12h ago
Wow..thats really helpful..whenever i post a picture i only get gay men’s attention..i wasnt sure..now I get it..they are still men aggressively complimenting other men haha..respect gay bros
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u/RedditsChosenName 7h ago
Gay man (ahhh Ahh AHHH!), complimenter of the straight man (ahhh Ahh AHHH!) champion of his sons (ahhh Ahh AHHH!) you’re a master of care-rate and friendship for everyone
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u/Pertolepe 4h ago
Honestly struggled dating in my 20s and felt down on myself. Was also big into the rave/edm scene. All of our afterhours spots are primarily gay bars but since there's techno and house you get a fair number of straight people as well (like me). Honestly helped my confidence a fair bit because I would get hit on pretty often lol. I recall a guy coming up to me and going "I have to ask, do you like girls or boys?" and when I said "girls, sorry" he went "ugh, my loss, have a good night honey".
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u/Lemme_Help_ 13h ago
I’ve been catcalled and hit on by gay guys more times than i can count. It’s strange.
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u/photon1701d 7h ago
A girl I know has this gay friend. He keeps telling her that I'm hot and he wants to fuck me and that I'm gay and just don't know it. She says I should go out with him but I said I'm not gay as I want to bang you..haha
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u/Snap_Krackle_Pop- 6h ago
I apologize on his behalf. That’s a really creepy desperate one, we are not all like that.
This happened with an ex friend of mine, J he was creepy and touchy to our friend M and would not leave him alone. It crossed a line into sexual harassment and I got physical with J, and then M and I just cut him out of our lives entirely.
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u/TheHolyToxicToast 12h ago
One gay man has told me I'm funny that has overpowered anything any girl has ever said to me
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u/Timely-Bill-5336 20h ago
When your mom tells you what a very handsome guy you are.
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u/Adventurous_Cost_314 15h ago
What about grandma?
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u/Will301 11h ago
That means you are extremely handsome
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u/chickmagn3t 10h ago
An got taller somehow
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u/johnbarnes351 9h ago
Squeezing the cheeks as we speak x
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u/ShatteredAnus 8h ago
I miss my grandma squeezing my cheeks....
One day things will just naturally end; One day you will wake up and it will be the last time for something; a hug from your parents, grandma squeezing your cheeks, seeing your friend, and you won't know until it happens.
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u/breadispain 7h ago
One day you have a wonderfully intact anus, blissfully unaware it will one day be shattered. Wise words.
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u/mrnestor 8h ago
Grandma told me I'm the prettiest in my country, hope we are not from the same tho
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u/Manufactured-Aggro 12h ago
Does it still count if you can hear her on the phone with her friend later and she mentions the interaction and they both start laughing hysterically before switching to their mother tongue she didn't bother to teach you growing up?
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u/jontaejones 20h ago edited 20h ago
Level 0 - not even your mom says your handsome (ouch)
Level 1 - your mom says your handsome
Level 2 - women old enough to be your mom say your handsome
Level 3 - you randomly but rarely get hit on women
Level 4 - average women your own age call you handsome
Level 5 - women follow you through the mall till you stop at your parked car just so they can get your number
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u/DevilsAdvocate9 12h ago
Level 6 - so staggeringly handsome women run away. Some of us have our crosses to bear. /s
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u/FilavandrelSilver 11h ago
what if my family calls me ugly but my coworkers/friends tell me how good looking i am?
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u/remenes1 14h ago
If level 5 is real for non-celebrities then I am never again listening to women saying that extremely good looking men get ignored by women because they’re assumed to be taken
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u/terrany 14h ago
Level 5 is real, not as dramatic as parking lot but I’ve seen women eye some of my friends for hours and muster up courage just like men do for a shot at their attention/number.
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u/permadrunkspelunk 16h ago
Damn. Im a 3.5 on this chart. Just havent found the right average girl yet. Lol.
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u/splitfins 10h ago
Your girlfriend post pictures with you on Instagram instead of just her.
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u/bACEdx39 8h ago
Girls you are not dating post pictures with you.
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u/Atreus-dib 4h ago
My girlfriend relentlessly posts pictures of us together on instagram despite me being a misshapen troglodyte
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u/jontaejones 20h ago
It's simple. Hot girls hit on you.
One of my good friends in grad school was a tall handsome guy. The class would go out to happy hour, and some of the girls would just tell him what a handsome guy he was. Like matter of factly, not expecting anything.
One of the hottest girls in school hit on him in front of my face.
Rest assured, nothing even close to that has been said to me by a woman my age.
He was a pretty nice dude too...
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u/AtomHeartMonster 14h ago
I was with a tall and very handsome friend at a bar once. We were just having a conversation when two girls came up like fan girls just to say hi to him.
Literally just swooning over him.For a second I thought they recognised him from somewhere, or he was secretly a bit famous? No, they literally just came up fangirling him for being handsome. He reacted like it was the most normal thing in the world.
Eye opening, wtf.
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u/yepyepyep123456 20h ago
This, totally. I had a very attractive roomate in my twenties. Women would hit on him aggressively. Cougars especially. It caused some stress for him, since he had a longtime girlfriend. It was kind of eye opening for me. He was also a really nice guy.
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u/jontaejones 19h ago
Yea, for the nicer, hot guys, it's always possible for them to have pretty nice, stable girlfriends if they want it. I truly believe the hottest guys have it even better than the hottest women. But it's a small minority.
He was the guy in our grad school class who was that guy.
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u/dcannons 9h ago
A new guy showed up at my weekly 5k race. He was talk, good looking, muscular. He had just crossed the finish line and was immediately chatted up by a beautiful young red haired woman. Didn't even get to catch his breath.
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u/coreyrude 10h ago
Dam i have a lot of gay friends and none of them have said I'm attractive I was thought its because they know and respect that I'm straight. After reading this thread I guess I'm just ugly.
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u/3Greyhounds 9h ago
Whether they’re a 10/10 or a 1/10, I typically don’t comment on my straight friends’ looks, so I wouldn’t overthink this.
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u/ItchyCactus09 9h ago
Same. I feel like gay men have a reputation so I try not to add to it by commenting on my straight friends, unless it comes up naturally in the flow of conversation
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u/IntroductionSlight16 20h ago
When I was walking up a street in Bangkok every girl said, "Hello hansum man." At least I think they were women.
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u/infinitedreaming20 10h ago
Where there’s apple, there’s banana.
-Ancient Thai Wisdom
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u/IntroductionSlight16 10h ago
I've always been told, some of the most beautiful women in Thailand are men.
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u/Defiant-Cicada-2359 14h ago
I once went on a date with a transvestite from Lancashire, well I say that , she had a Wigan address…
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u/socaljpcouple 14h ago edited 13h ago
I’m an average guy. I can remember each every time in life a woman I didn’t know actually flirted with me without me engaging first. My younger cousin on the other hand is a very handsome guy. 6’3, tanned, muscular frame, and chiseled jawline. I can’t count the times we’ve been out just the two of us and a woman slides him her number or IG. It’s kinda gotten to his head a bit.
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u/annoyedreply 10h ago
Trump mentions it at a press briefing
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u/Legally_a_Tool 4h ago
“This big, handsome man, a real man, came to me with tears in his eyes and said ‘Sir, thank you so much for all you’re doing to make America great again.’”
— probably Trump
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u/OhYeah-SlimJim 11h ago
Your grandma tells you, you’re such a handsome man.
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u/Ok-Stock-8840 9h ago
Every grandma thinks her grandkid is the best looking guy in the room. Doesn't make her wrong.
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u/Financial-Bison400 11h ago
When girls stare at you and as you cross by them, they turn the other direction.
Also they turn back once you're ahead.
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u/neuron24 10h ago
Problem is, this also happens if you're ugly or somehow creepy. It's like assessing a threat and making sure you're not getting closer to them
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u/chth 8h ago
You just gotta assume they think you’re sexy for your mental health.
I am tall, have tattoos down to my knuckles, dress fashionably and keep my facial hair trimmed/teeth white.
I do often find groups of women stopping talking when I walk by, see women look away seemingly embarrassed for getting caught looking at me, even have bolder women compliment me as I pass by yet I still sometimes think maybe I’m just an ugly weirdo for a moment.
Rather than give into those thoughts I just started hyping myself up in my head instead and now I don’t think those things.
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u/Substantial-Fun9958 6h ago
The sad thing about being good-looking as a guy is that girls are less likely to approach you instead. So if you're an introverted handsome guy, you're actually worse off in socializing
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u/ReapingRaichu 5h ago
Is that why a baddie has yet to approach me aha. I must be dashing
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u/twolittlefinger 8h ago
i have something similar happens to me a lot, they stare at me from afar, and then they cross the road, or go the other direction
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u/BlasphemousArchetype 8h ago
I get the ole purse clutch. I’m not sure what that means is it good?
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u/getabath 20h ago
You get more attention from women than your peers/colleagues
The ugly guys notice it first
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u/tatsumakisempukyaku 14h ago
I worked at an Arcade years ago, not once did I have a girl ask me for my number, sure had some flirting going on and all that. Then a new guy got hired ( who actually went on to become an international model a few years later) was being asked if they could give him their number by random girls nearly EVERY shift I had with him... unbelievable. He would often jusy bin them as soon as they left too. I remember once a young girl even asked her mother to come with her and asked her to give her number for her. Talk about living on easy mode.
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u/PearlEra 8h ago
Women and gay men buy you drinks at bar. Strangers and babies smile at you. ☺️
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u/ChristopherSunday 7h ago
Yikes. Babies begin to cry and dogs start barking at me.
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u/Intrepid_Fig_3071 13h ago
I was quite good Looking when I was younger (Late teens to earLy twenties). Yes, you get significantly more attention from woman, especiaLLy oLder woman, you are aLso seen as more competent and smart than you actuaLLy are, just because you're handsome. But they aLso assume you are arrogant and fuLL of yourseLf, even if you just a reguLar dude.
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u/zool714 9h ago
I was trying to decipher some secret message from your comment lol
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u/Intrepid_Fig_3071 8h ago
I don't know what's going on for some reason the Letter L is permantLy capitaLized. I rebooted my PC pLuged the keyboard in and out, nothing heLps. Weird shit...
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u/sk1pjack 11h ago
What's wrong with your L key?
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u/DH80 8h ago
When you’re really handsome in your late teens and early twenties you’re having so much desk sex from older female bosses who can’t resist you that a broken L key is quite common based on its location being near the lower buttom right side of the keyboard.
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u/notverysmawt 6h ago
I make eye contact with lots of women of all kinds constantly. Older women will tell me. You will know.
But there is also levels to this shit.
You can be an above average attractive guy and the reactions you will get will be different than if you’re a 9/10. I have a couple friends much more attractive than me and the way women throw themselves at these guys is insane
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u/01000101010110 5h ago edited 1h ago
There is a huge difference between a 7/10 and a legitimate 9/10.
You see a handful of 7/10 people every day while out and about.
You maybe see a 9/10 once a year randomly and you'll know when you see it. It's almost like the room parts to make space for them when they walk in. I've seen guys like this and my first thought was "Seriously? He gets to look like that every day?"
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u/onetrickponystar 10h ago
Average guy here, but used to hang out with a really attractive friend around my 20s. Girls would sometimes just walk up to him and ask him to make out, right then and there. Pubs/dancing type of enviroments. I was amazed by the audacity and forwardness.
Not gonna lie: I did feel like a third wheel in these situations sometimes. But in general I had way more attention and connection too, because when I partied with him I ended way more often in contact and conversation with fun and attractive groups of girls.
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u/Bangkok_Dave 20h ago
Visit Thailand and you'll be told that you're a hansum man many many times
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u/Old_Internet_2232 20h ago edited 19h ago
Now I have to listen to the song one night in *Bangkok.
I get my kicks above the waistline sunshine!
Lol spelled it horribly wrong cause I had to play that banger lol
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u/Objective-Maize9699 19h ago
My girlfriend says other girls flirt with me a lot but I don’t realize it. Apparently people stare at us when we’re out and about. I catch that from time to time
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u/Naught2day 19h ago
When women look at you like your the last piece of chocolate cake at a weight watchers meeting.
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u/LElige 16h ago
People saying women hit on you don’t know what being handsome is like. That doesn’t happen. Only reason I got the idea that I was anything above average was because when I worked as an extra when I was younger, I was always cast as “handsome man” “hot guy” “sexy frat bro”.
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u/Ok-Charge-6998 11h ago edited 11h ago
Yeah, I’ll unashamedly say I am a very handsome guy and almost never get hit on by women, unless they’re maybe like 18/19. Like it has happened, and even then the flirting is weird as FUCK.
“Is this your friend?” I look at my best mate and go “yeah?” And she said “you guys should make out”. That was her opener, and I was like what the fuck?! Another time this girl ran into my guitar hero booth and hid in the corner while I was with my friends and I said, “are you okay?” She said yeah she’s just hiding from a bad date. And I was like oh okay, well chill here then. And that ended up escalating very quickly.
Someone I dated for 6 months had this as an opener: “excuse me… who the fuck are you?”
And I said, “what?! Who are you?!??”
Another one I dated for a bit bumped into me while I was waiting for my drink and then said, “can you please get out of my way” and I said “sorry, do you want a drink?”
Another one said: “how fucked up are you” and I was like “what? Like mentally or like drunk?” She said “both” and that escalated.
Like it’s almost never normal…
A lot of the time it’s making eye contact with someone from across the room, maybe they smile, and they suddenly appear next to me at some point.
That’s about the only real signal I get 90% of the time. On the rare occasion I’ll have someone come up to me and make an actual move, but I can count them on one hand.
The other times they look at you and then pretend you don’t exist, like you’re bothering them.
My lesbian friends told me to go talk to someone who was literally giving me dirty looks and I was like she is not interested and they said, no she definitely is. They were right.
Gay men and straight men will outright come up to you though and tell you if you’re attractive. Like one guy came up to me and said, “you’re a handsome cunt”. And older women, they are just very blunt about it.
Also for any fellas in here terrified of approaching women, and this is coming from a friend of mine, who is also a woman, “mate, we get approached by weirdos all the time, but we are always hoping that one of them won’t be weird”
So there you go. Shoot your shot and you might be the one they were hoping won’t be a weirdo.
All you gotta do is smile and say hi, if they give friction just wish them a goodnight and get on with yours. That’s all.
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u/PanzerBiscuit 11h ago
Went to a rave yesterday with one of my mates who is diced. We were getting a fair amount of attention from the ladies and it was fun, until I was referred to "as the friend" in a somewhat condescending tone by one of the girls.
Ended up at the local club that's the local spot for my cities LGBTQ community. Needed a nice little pick me up, and way to repair my fragile ego.
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u/badonkadonkbutt 6h ago
If women refuse to talk to you or date you. It’s because they are intimidated by your attractive and not because you are repulsive.
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u/IndustriousSeahawk26 8h ago edited 6h ago
I was handsome and very fit in my teens to mid 20s . It’s also exhausting to have to manage random women’s emotions when you’ve made no commitment to them at all, like strangers or colleagues or acquaintances who like you and you don’t play along or pursue, or even engage. Friendships break or are strained when one friend likes you but you don’t reciprocate or you like someone else…I understand completely women’s POV when guys are creeps or don’t take no or a hint of disinterest for an answer - some women are absolute creeps and pushy/entitled as well.
Becusss I understand unwarranted attention and stalking , I relate to women who experience it, so I am empathetic and against it , which makes me protective of women being harassed since I have the power to ward the men off . I do it becusss I personally understand how uncomfortable it can be to be harassed , and for women it must be scary as well since men are generally stronger /larger…I was never in physical fear from women harassing me or stalking me…this just made me more attractive to women like I’m a protector or something , but I was just doing what I felt was right since I personally understand how horrible it is to be harassed .
On the other hand When you reject some women or ask them to leave you alone, or date someone they think is below them , they ask men who want to F them to beat you up or ambush you. Just cowardly and insecure behavior is common in my experience.
Another one I experienced sometimes was other men who view you as a threat taking away women’s attention by you merely being present or cooler/funnier/more
handsome etc. they will be aggressive and hostile to you for no reason and while your acting friendly. I’m just trying to do my thing and dating isn’t even on my mind but I’d have to manage other men’s emotions or insecurities as well and that was extra work for no reason too. Just exhausting.
I learned to not trust anybody , and men and women alike are just neutral people. Can be good or bad. Because of my experiences, I just view all people (race or gender) as blank slates. I just wait to form any opinion on them by their behavior. So that’s been a very educational experience I guess
When I got older, married and gained some lbs and my jawline stopped being sharp and I got fatter I stopped getting attention and it’s been awesome. I get left alone and people act normally towards me now- they give back the energy I give which is predictable. Instead of unmerited and unwanted sexual attention, negativity when you don’t reciprocate, aggression from men etc.
When you’re an attractive man, you get extreame unwarranted and sometimes unwanted positive attention or outright negativity /hostility by merely existing , before you do anything or say anything.
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u/ricetoseeyu 6h ago
A lot of unwarranted touching here and there from other women.. like I see what you are doing..
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u/Bigballa805970 6h ago edited 6h ago
Anytime I’ve expressed this sentiment people try to rip it apart lol but ya i’m 6’4 muscular and alright looking, also half Asian and don’t have a real friend group, so in social situations people try to razz me and shake my confidence a lot and yes they play the race card a lot. When i’ve stood up for myself i’m made to be the villain like im always supposed to the mature one or not let shit get to me, or if I play the race card on someone who was doing it to me, suddenly it’s not ok anymore. Despite it all i’ve remained a pretty genuine and considerate, helpful guy, very self aware and notice my surroundings, courteous to strangers. I doordash for side money and I’m very polite to workers, and I 9 out of 10 times I can tell they appreciate the way I carry myself when asking for an order. I’ve taken a lot of shit in my life but I try not to take it out on strangers. I’ve met a lot of people who are more lone wolfs and connected and vibes with them, they end up acknowledging to me that they generally don’t like a lot of people and even tell me something along the lines of “don’t take it the wrong way but I took you for being more of a meathead douche” (cuz I like to keep up my appearance and wear clothes that fit I guess I look shallow?) and they said to take all that negative attention I get as a compliment because it wouldn’t be happening if those people didn’t feel threatened by my presence, or that they probably think trying to shit on me when we’re supposed to be working as team somehow makes them look good. The trouble is until I can navigate my way into a space where I can just do me and thrive I will always cross paths with these pesky little shits.
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u/Delicious_Idea_5990 4h ago
The not having a real friend group is another big one I left out from my comment above, 1000% true. I think it’s also tied to people’s own insecurities that people just can’t or don’t want to make a connection. I also almost forgot one of the biggest cues I’ve observed over the years when men have above average looks is that when you get around a woman who finds you attractive they will almost always and I mean always fix themselves when they have your attention (ie. fix/flick their hair).
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u/aa628 7h ago
Lol I want so badly to see what these self identified attractive men looked like. Not that I don’t trust you .. just curious
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u/IndustriousSeahawk26 6h ago
You don’t need to think you’re attractive. It’s about how women , especially how hot women, treat you without you having to do anything . Also how less attractive women and men also treat you too. It’s actually entirely not a self opinion at all, but rather completely the opinions of others lol
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u/Iantrigue 7h ago
If you’re like my mate Jamie then people just tell you all the time… men and women. He was a model for a bit and auditioned to be the Diet Coke man at one point.
We went on a stag with a big group of guys who didn’t all know each other. One guy there was looking at him a bit funny and when it came to explain why he said his wife had a cardboard cutout of my mate Jamie in their spare room which she had brought home from work.
She had worked at Burtons (old menswear shop in Uk) and Jay had been on the promotional material for suits and she just brought it home because apparently he looked so handsome…. was a bit awkward for a moment but everyone was able to laugh it off.
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u/Sonicmantis 11h ago
girls have crushes on you. like , at work or at school someone hangs around you, laughs at your jokes, and is hoping to get asked out
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u/racoonXjesus 7h ago
How easy is it to get a date? You can be a socially awkward giraffe and the amount of grace you’re given conversationally shows the attractive scale. I’ve definitely improved my appearance over my 20s and it’s leagues easier to meet women now, despite how much of an awkward fuck I can be.
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u/Beginning_Name7708 20h ago edited 19h ago
Girls straight up ask if you are married/have a gf.
Girls laugh at things you say...and you're not a funny guy.
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u/CarlJustCarl 8h ago
I asked a friend of mine why women don’t seem attracted to me. He said what about guys? I’m
Straight btw. I said no. There’s your answer then - you’re ugly. Ah thanks, bro.
Anyway if you don’t have this problem, you’re probably handsome.
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u/Forneaux 7h ago edited 7h ago
When you are average in attractiveness no one looks at you. When you are above average attractive, women make eye contact. The more attractive the more women will make eye contact. Until you’re hot, women stop making eye contact but will move toward you. Their men start making eye contact.
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u/naynaythewonderhorse 9h ago
As someone with autism, I struggled with feeling attractive for years, and in recent years I’ve actually come around to genuinely feeling like people find me to be fairly attractive.
Being out and public and genuinely feeling attractive like that is anxiety inducing. I catch girls looking at me and smiling ALL the time. It took me a very long time to convince myself it wasn’t just my social anxiety talking.
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u/iweararmani 20h ago
You are not invisible. People complement you. Easier to get dates, gets your foot in the door.
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u/Fly_bill 11h ago
Very handsome? Woman and men with give you a lot of reverence. Handsome? Subtle respect
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u/piccolosama 6h ago
My wife tells me often, and her opinion is really the only benchmark I care about.
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u/thesupercoolmarketer 10h ago
If you have to ask then you aren’t. The world will tell you if you’re attractive.
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u/solve_et_coagula13 10h ago
When you’re out and women actually hit on you. Like not just talk to you, hit on you.
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u/Si-Nz 8h ago
Old ladies very commonly touch you inappropriately and say shit that would get a man beaten.
Saw it all the time when i was a kid because one of my best friends was basically teenage Brad Pitt in a country where that type of blonde hair is uncommon.
Old ladies just couldn't get their hands off of him.
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u/vicious_pocket 10h ago edited 10h ago
It used to be just girls acting weird in middle school, one borrowed my sweater and I asked when she was going to give it back and she said “when it stops smelling like you”. Another girl threatened me asking, but not asking me out saying she wanted an answer by lunch and she was making a fist, she was not pretty and seemed like she could kick my ass. I ended up in the vice principal’s office over it and he took me aside saying he knew how it was because all the girls chased after him when he was my age and that she was harmless, they ended up putting her in my gym class the next day and she told me she shot her sister in either the leg or ass with a BB gun because she gets angry when she doesn’t get her way and she “just can’t help it”. Another girl stole my wallet and tried to frame some imaginary girl, but I’m not sure if that was crush related or what.
Then when I got older 16 and up it was men being creeps. I had to learn not to make accidental eye contact with random men in public because they might follow you into the restroom or something, but I’d get propositioned outside Walmart, a guy would grab my arm at the bus stop and tell me I was cute and ask where I was going, I’d get sat next to on the bus even when other seats were available, or on a park bench even when there were other empty park benches, scooted up next to at the urinal in an empty movie theater bathroom and greeted, men would pull over while I was walking and offer rides, one just said “you’re hot” once and once one said he was a photographer and wanted me to model for him, but when he offered me a card it was for a salon. I actually did “model” for porn site I got “scouted” for called badpuppy.com, but couldn’t get it up so I got naked for no reason.
I’m 39 and still get offered rides from random guys every once in a while, but mostly at late at night. Once during a snow storm when I walked from my house to pick up pizza so I wouldn’t have to pay for delivery and the delivery driver offered me a ride, but I’m pretty sure he was just being nice and I actually took him up on the offer and it was broad daylight plus he was nice and it was cold AF. Another time I accepted a ride from a cop, but it was also snowing.
I’ve been told I’m attractive by some people, but I’ve always been pretty insecure. I think being 5’6” and having to walk everywhere doesn’t help deter predators though.
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u/Ornery_Hovercraft636 19h ago
You don’t know what a dry spell is.
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u/Objective-Maize9699 19h ago
My friend. Let me introduce you to the concept of everyone assuming you are out of their league…
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u/Old_Internet_2232 17h ago
I found this out myself younger years assumptions I was ugly ugly. I don't even think I'm good looking either but later found out people had a crush on me. And vise versa
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u/TravelFit3656 14h ago
Shit I’d consider myself decently attractive and dry spell is my middle name
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u/Moartee 18h ago
The first sign is they usually don’t need to ask this on Reddit for confirmation.
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u/richbrehbreh 7h ago
When you walk by cars with women in them, the doors unlock.
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u/InternationalTax1508 15h ago
When you look down and there's some form of lips around your ding dong.
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u/nextdoorelephant 18h ago
Women and men throw themselves at you. Dressing as a fireman for Halloween is cougar bait.
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u/SmugglingPineapples 16h ago
You get hit on by gay guys.
At least I hope that's the reason why. Gulp
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u/OldGuy_J_C 10h ago
I got a friend of mine who is handsome, but intimidatingly so. He's in shape, a little older, shaved head, and I have been told by women that they think he's attractive, but he's intimidating looking. So you may not be getting compliments, but here is what I have observed when I'm around him in public. Women of all ages will look at him, when he's not looking, and quickly turn away when he looks their way. None of them will approach him, none of them will speak to him unless it is a business transaction, or the like. He has no, absolute, clue. He thinks he looks like a troll. He is a loner generally, but when he's in a social environment, he's funny, he's kind, and not a Wallflower. But women will not approach him because they are intimidated by his looks. So the thing is, even if you are good looking, there may be reasons that women won't approach you that you would have no clue about. Just saying
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u/IntoTheMouthOSadness 9h ago
Getting ghosted on dating apps. I assume they must be intimidated by how handsome I am.
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u/Enorme_formica 9h ago
Folks don’t have as much sympathy for you when the chips are down. I know I’m a very conventionally attractive guy, and so many people and acquaintances don’t seem to believe I can be having any difficulties at all.
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u/ShamelessIgnoramus 8h ago
People get hearts in their eyes and say awoooogaaaa and they hit themselves in the head with a tiny hammer everywhere you go.
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u/Efficient_Range_5951 8h ago
When I was a teenager lots of girls seemed very indifferent to me but everybody's Mum loved me. I get stared at a lot , especially by older women who quite often give me lovely coy smiles, I always smile back if I can. People still stop me in public and tell me I remind them of some actor or musician etc even now that I'm nearly 60. In workplaces there is often a weird jealousy competitive response from other men and quite a few female bosses and a few male ones became ....well funny about me. Flattery in itself is disappointing, I'm very uninterested in being in the spotlight or the centre of attention and have happily been with the same woman for close to 40 years. Unfortunately there have been awkward moments post menopause when people have assumed she was my mother. People often assume you are in charge , the Dr , the leader , the guest speaker. Its probably created opportunities for me but it hasn't made me rich or famous thankfully. My Father was similar and one of my sons has the curse as well.
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u/obismo 7h ago
People turn to look at you whenever you walk into a room or pass by them on the street. Even people who have their backs turned to you get nudged or tapped by their friends to make them turn around and look at you. I was born and raised this way, so I barely notice it anymore, but my friends and ex-girlfriends have always commented on it. In fact, one of my closest friends, who I've known for years, came up with the term “little mouse giggles” to describe the noises women make when they see me.
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u/remenes1 14h ago
A big one is that you don’t need to ask people on Reddit what it would be like