r/AskReddit • u/littlemissmac78 • 18h ago

What's a small sign that someone has completely given up on life?

907 Upvotes

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u/10ngbr0wnb14ck 18h ago

they don’t wanna shower, not that they dont have access to one, just have no desire to

662

u/rewarzorig50 16h ago

The transition from 'I'll do it later' to 'it literally does not matter' is the scariest part.

96

u/Geovicsha 12h ago

I haven't given up on life AND I often feel too depressed to shower.

212

u/PertTain 17h ago edited 17h ago

I've been there. It's not that you don't want to be clean, it's that just standing in the shower feels like climbing a mountain.

103

u/Acetylene_Queen1 16h ago

Having to use your brain to create thought and do the most simple of tasks like taking a shower is putting one's self into function mode.

This transition from safe, no movement, no talking, listening, tasting, smelling etc mode to sudden opposite of that forces your brain to think, process, face mentally what your going through, how to make it stop permanently, all your self deprecating, your feelings on making your brain (that's working overtime) stop the overload, so you go back to safe space which is typically bed.

Eating, dressing, basic domestic chores, going to work, keeping effort up to stay connected to family and friends, that all fades to black.

21

u/PowerCordsForever 15h ago

How does one help a significant other that's in this space?

31

u/Acetylene_Queen1 14h ago

I'm not certain that everyone going through it can be helped the same way as any other . Medical care, the right medication , therapy

6

u/CartOfficialArt 6h ago

Its hard to help. Being there for them helps a bit, but it isn't what will get them out of it. Its a deep hole, and takes a lot to just get the motivation to get help. Being there for them, don't make it a "big deal" when they finally do something (ie, if they take a shower after not for awhile, dont shower them with praise), try to encourage lightly (I heard that this helped a few people if you wanna give it a try?), they'll probably deny all help at first.

It's tough to be in relationships like that, and it isn't for everyone. Some people will deteriorate their own mental health a bit trying to help and failing constantly and its rough.

1

u/The-Reanimator-Freak 3h ago

Often it can’t be fixed from the outside

32

u/4thdensity44 17h ago

Yeah, being cold after the shower just sounds too hard. Luckily I’m not in that state of mind anymore and I also have a good heater

16

u/ilvtj1s1 5h ago

Missing a shower is common; the change from someone's usual routine is what makes it concerning.

8

u/New-Expression-6833 7h ago

Yup i guess its a symptom for depression as well

2

u/RohR0 11h ago

It's rarely one big thing. It's a bunch of small things that stop feeling worth the effort.

1

u/wioktutdroungwux 5h ago

The important distinction is whether it feels like a chore, or whether caring for yourself stops feeling worth doing.

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u/Mat5763 0m ago

The shower isn't the problem; losing the instinct to care for yourself is what feels so bleak.