Casual Convo Fridays

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[u/Select_Captain_4890]

Hey guys, just wondering if anyone else struggles to cry or even feel sad, even when you're going through a lot. I've been dealing with a lot lately, and I get overwhelmed sometimes, but for some reason, I just can't cry. I can still feel happy and enjoy things, but when it comes to sadness, it's like I'm emotionally stuck.

I've been journaling, which helps a little, and I've been getting outdoors and trying new activities, moving my body as much as I can which has been good for me too.

Therapy is unfortunately hella expensive where I live, so I'm trying to figure out other ways to work through things. I've been through a lot in life, and I've developed this habit of putting everything in little boxes and compartmentalizing my feelings. It's almost automatic at this point, like my brain just locks things away so I can keep going. Sometimes I even forget things I've been through, probably because it's easier for my mind to move on that way.
I don't know if anyone else has experienced this, but if you have, has anything helped you reconnect with your emotions or feel things instead of just pushing them aside? I'd genuinely appreciate hearing what worked for you.

[u/FinalBlackberry → u/Select_Captain_4890]

Honestly, I’ve experienced both sides of this, and for me emotional detachment was a nice change. Feeling everything intensely can be exhausting, and I’ve personally found a certain peace in being able to compartmentalize my emotions. I think what matters most is whether you’re genuinely at peace with your emotions or simply disconnected from them. You don’t have to cry to process sadness.

[u/FlavortownAbbey → u/Select_Captain_4890]

I (34F) used to cry easily in the most random negative situations throughout my teens. I couldn’t control when the tears would start, or when they would stop. It was especially frustrating in situations where I was more indignant than sad: it constantly robbed me of credibility and confidence when I tried to stick up for myself.

After I was formally diagnosed with anxiety/depression in my senior year of college and got on an SSRI, I was finally able to control my emotions and demeanor in stressful situations. In response to that newfound control, I think I began to gradually, subconsciously associate crying with my more vulnerable, pre-diagnosis self… a self that I never wanted to revisit.

Day by day, situation by situation, I began to avoid crying at all costs, and got really good at it. I’m just now beginning to find my way back. Recognizing when you’re beginning to AVOID tears is annoying, but important. I have to consciously catch myself when I try to skip over a tearjerking song on a Spotify playlist.

[u/TheMysticalPlatypus → u/Select_Captain_4890]

Honestly I like to watch movies that I know will make me cry. Or I go out of my way to find books or shows that I know will trigger crying in me. I find it therapeutic. Even if it’s something completely unrelated to me. It’s what I used to do when I went through a period where I felt incredibly detached from my emotions.

They also sell self guided therapy books. Idk if it would be helpful towards you.But maybe it would help take away the barrier to entry for therapy. So you still are able to do something. Target has, The Thought Log. (Stay away from subscriptions and weird seminars. Or people who are telling you to continually pay large dollar amounts.)

You should also check your workplace benefits. Sometimes they do offer resources for therapy.

Also if you are going through something traumatic. Play Tetris. They’re some really interesting science behind it but it helps with flashbacks if you play tetris within a specific timeframe after a traumatic event.

[u/Critical-Fill-6088 → u/Select_Captain_4890]

I honestly think you should “be” or feel whatever you want to without having to force an emotion/ need to label it. I personally don’t have an urge to cry or feel sad when I’m overwhelmed because truly I’m just not tapped into me. I have to take a step back, reflect, journal, and be idle to be able to unpack my feelings. Hope this helps!❤️

[u/KrazieGirl]

I feel like I’m mad all the time. I’m unhappy with aspects of life, sure, but shouldn’t I be happy sometimes? I’m dead set on moving (all I want. I HATE where I live) but family is preventing that, so that’s probably a MAJOR factor (emphasis on major would agree 🤣). Mad at the world. I don’t have depression. I’m just yearning for a life that could be mine but isn’t. I want shit (in my life) to change. Stagnant. Bored. ETA: thanks for a free space to say a fraction of what I’m holding in!

[u/Past-Dirt-4801]

I'm not sad, i'm also not happy. I feel empty inside. I don't have social medias as of now. 1 week of detox and i actually don't know what im doing right now hahaha.

[u/Darkerthanblack64]

I hate myself. I don't like me. I have all this mentally exhaustive shit on my mind. So much anger and frustration inside me. I'm hurting. My mood shifts so often. I mask it as not to burden others with it. I go to college which I hate. It's not for me. It's just not. I don't care that I get good grades. It's not for me. I have a mother who doesn't love me as much as she loves my older sister. Hell, she never gave me the love I needed as a child in the first place so why would she now, right? Lol I hate myself.

And the sad part is, I have a better like now. A house with my partner. I have access to more resources. I have food and water and other essential things I didn't have before. He's a lovely and loving man who's giving me his everything. And yet...I hate myself.

[u/No_Cheek116]

What's one way you take care of your mind when working a demanding job?

[u/FinalBlackberry → u/No_Cheek116]

Find something that you do daily that indicates work is over. For me, as bad as it sounds, is the 40 minute commute home. It allows me to decompress by the time I get home. Try a walk, a hot shower as soon as you get home. Watch the sunset if you have the opportunity. Your mind needs to check out to rest and recharge.

[u/Fun_Yogurtcloset1012]

I still am unable to get rid of my 'don't want to talk anymore' stage for interviews when looking for jobs. I know its stupid but I have been unemployed for a while and all this interview rejections is getting to me. 

You know that struggle when you look at the interviewer and want to say these questions are stupid and weird and the interview answers has to be well structured like a buisness proposal. Interviews did not used to be like this.

How do I get rid of this stage? I need to pass interviews when I get one.

[u/FlavortownAbbey → u/Fun_Yogurtcloset1012]

I was also recently unemployed, and of course repeatedly ran through all the anti-capitalist “this is all a stupid fake charade” trains of thought while job hunting.

A couple considerations that may or may not help you:
1. We only get so much time in this life – and unfortunately, our society is set up such that we need to devote the majority of our time to capitalism in order to keep ourselves alive. (Unless you live in like, a tribal or nomadic society, or a cult. Which I assume you don’t based on your comment.) I know that the system is inherently miserable… but everyone else also has to do it. What I try to do is go into every work situation remembering that: it reminds me that I can at least get some human connection out of it.
2. If you have made it to an interview, the person interviewing you IS ROOTING FOR YOU and WANTS you to succeed. It is their job to find the best person for the position they’re hiring for: so their selection of you for an interview means they are personally staking their professional reputation on your abilities. It’s REALLY statistically hard these days to get chosen for an interview from a pile of resumes, and you should be very proud of the fact that you’ve gotten there more than once recently. I know that corporate interviews can sound like vapid nonsense, but you have to remember how many people would kill to get even one interview in this job market.

[u/Stories-N-Magic]

I've forgotten how it is to feel completely loved and desired by someone i love and desire completely. I don't even know if i ever felt that without doubts, once my young age delusions were broken. Yeah, definitely didn't.o

I just want to experience that once in my lifetime. And there isn't a lot of it left...

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[u/ch1clover]

what is something you're doing to look after your mental well-being right now?