[Postgame Thread] Northwestern Defeats Penn State 34-13

[u/CFB_Referee]

Box Score provided by ESPN

Team	1	2	3	4	T
Penn State	0	7	0	6	13
Northwestern	10	14	7	3	34

[u/IThoughtThisWasVoat]

Announcement / FYI for you fucking idiots:

Northwestern isn’t some random scrub that “came out of nowhere.” This is the exact same playbook people laughed at with Indiana.

They just dropped $850–875 million on a brand-new Ryan Field. Privately funded. Ryan family alone put up $480 million. That’s not a locker-room upgrade — that’s an NFL-style stadium. Meanwhile the Bears are packing up and moving to fucking Hammond/Gary because Illinois couldn’t get its act together. Northwestern built a palace while the NFL team flees the state.

They also just got another $35 million purely for the football program. Bankrolled.

David Braun isn’t some random interim. He came from North Dakota State (actual FCS dynasty). He’s got Chip Kelly as OC — actual Chip Kelly, fresh off helping Ohio State win a title — plus Jerry Neuheisel, the blonde-haired UCLA guy who stepped up as play-caller last year and helped them stun Penn State. This isn’t a scrub staff.

Clearly they should be ranked. They’re not some dumb shit team anymore. College football changed. Follow the money. Bankroll the program, get the right underdog coach and staff, and the old hierarchy looks stupid. Indiana proved it. Northwestern is running the same experiment with better facilities.

[u/majorgeneralporter → u/IThoughtThisWasVoat]

That one Indiana fan that created this is going to feel like Oppenheimer if we run the table and this becomes unironic.

[u/Ready_Reply70 → u/majorgeneralporter]

Was it lordcoolcats? They make almost every IU copypasta lol

[u/judyblumereference → u/Ready_Reply70]

Now that's what I call a trademark win

[u/OwnWalrus1752 → u/majorgeneralporter]

See you guys in January?

[u/AbusedAlarmClock → u/IThoughtThisWasVoat]

lol glad I saw the original live

[u/Gusanito99 → u/AbusedAlarmClock]

Where was the original

[u/GrandOcelot → u/Gusanito99]

Somewhere in the game thread against Indiana

[u/IThoughtThisWasVoat → u/Gusanito99]

OP deleted pretty fast.

[u/chriskug → u/AbusedAlarmClock]

Could become a glorious meme… unless

[u/Gusanito99 → u/chriskug]

I think it's a glorious meme already, whether or not it comes true

[u/Knook7 → u/AbusedAlarmClock]

I need to see this lol

[u/Infamous-Present-616 → u/IThoughtThisWasVoat]

I was waiting for Stanford to start throwing money around and Northwestern decided to say “F it, why not us”

[u/Money_Housing_2938 → u/Infamous-Present-616]

Stanford could probably own the ACC if they really rallied the donors

[u/Milton__Obote → u/Money_Housing_2938]

Stanford has tech bros who don’t care about football we have finance bros who do

[u/Dry-Membership3867 → u/Money_Housing_2938]

They have, they got a massive donation last year. But Andrew Luck is too worried about hiring his buds to be HC to care

[u/alexbananas → u/Infamous-Present-616]

Stanford are a bunch of nerds who don’t care about sports (and that’s how it should be imo so props to stanford)

[u/Chaotic-PopTart → u/Infamous-Present-616]

Unfortunately for the Cardinals, Stanford alum are too busy dropping $3 trillion into a regurgitation machine they think is a death god

[u/Cruddiestknave3 → u/IThoughtThisWasVoat]

Legit baffled me they only got 1 vote last week after how tough they played the Hoosiers.

They’d better be ranked on Sunday.

[u/mr_longfellow_deeds → u/Cruddiestknave3]

They, and we, have the wrong conference patch and wrong logo on the helmets to get credit for a close game

Much better to be Ole Miss, who went to OT against a Louisville team that isn’t very good, beat an uneven LSU team at home close, and got ran off the field against Florida. Apparently that’s “top 10”

[u/RunsWlthScissors → u/mr_longfellow_deeds]

You’ll get no argument from me.

[u/AbeFalcon → u/mr_longfellow_deeds]

This is why they play the games. The ESPN gas only gets you so far into the season. Ball. Don't. Lie.

[u/ArmAggravating3307 → u/AbeFalcon]

The clock though, that fucker lies like a rug.

[u/godzillamegadoomsday → u/mr_longfellow_deeds]

And it’s wild with all the clear talk of power 2 conference and all the weird ass legislation that only benefits 2 conferences, the media still only favors one conference. Like at least stay consistent and gas up B1G equally (aka the conference with the last three championships) like how even before this game was Missouri ranked over northwestern and like 5 undefeated schools. As an OSU fan, I recognize the media only really hypes up and gives leeway to the buckeyes. Look at last week where Penn and Michigan lost one last minute plays in one score games to a ranked opponent or the first time off the top 25, they get dropped from the list completely

[u/moho_fasho → u/godzillamegadoomsday]

In their defense UM has looked awful despite their record. It was apparent early they weren’t top 25, but just needed a loss to justify dropping out the poll

[u/godzillamegadoomsday → u/moho_fasho]

I will never complain about ttun getting dropped but I wish it was consistent. Like why bring them back into the top 25 at all if you kick them out so easy. They made it clear either way with wake that beating a ranked team doesn’t mean you get it.

[u/AbeFalcon → u/Cruddiestknave3]

They're gonna be ranked

[u/twoinvenice → u/Cruddiestknave3]

They way the ran plays and managed the clock in the last 2 minutes was nuts. It didn’t seem like any of it was out of the ordinary despite doing things like kicking a field goal on second down.

[u/tbl5048 → u/IThoughtThisWasVoat]

This needs to be immortalized. I will be following northwestern closely

[u/arrowfan624 → u/IThoughtThisWasVoat]

Copypasta of the season

[u/Vetersova → u/arrowfan624]

It also is very likely chat gpt based on the formatting of the comment.

[u/formerlyfed → u/Vetersova]

It’s 100% AI

[u/Preserved_Killick8 → u/formerlyfed]

And Honestly? You’re SO real for pointing that out.

[u/WoodsLovelyDarkNDeep → u/Vetersova]

Mf

[u/beticanmakeusayblack → u/arrowfan624]

I genuinely enjoy being schooled with the opening “you fucking idiots”

[u/gravytrainjaysker → u/beticanmakeusayblack]

It gets my attention. Maybe I should start emails to my Clients with that

[u/Danny_Devito_Magic → u/beticanmakeusayblack]

It's so damn hilarious.  It's like he's announcing the end of the world but then just discusses NW football

[u/Fluffy_System6211 → u/arrowfan624]

Claude copypastas 🫩

[u/AbbreviationsDeep486 → u/arrowfan624]

Bankrolled.

[u/Chicago_Blackhawks → u/IThoughtThisWasVoat]

Inject this AI slop into my veins 😤

[u/justclay → u/Chicago_Blackhawks]

I was gonna say.. clearly written by AI 😂

[u/tripleM_20 → u/IThoughtThisWasVoat]

But but how are we going to find room to randomly rank Mizzou

[u/Electromotivation → u/tripleM_20]

Simple, we just pretend the G6 doesn’t exist and pretend Miami is the only ACC team that does …. That #23 spot will be calling

[u/titspels → u/tripleM_20]

This aged well

MIZ

[u/Bulky_Preparation768 → u/IThoughtThisWasVoat]

Illinois not wasting tax payer money funding a stadium is having their shit together

[u/engineerbuilder → u/Bulky_Preparation768]

Yeah I was with OP on everything except that. As a Tennessean who saw literal billionaires twist and pry $500m from the state and $700m from the city while only putting up $700m and seeing the condition of…everything….

NFL teams can go fuck themselves begging for dollars.

[u/FieldsToTheMoon → u/Bulky_Preparation768]

The Bears claiming they are paying for the stadium and then moving to Indiana bc they can’t afford one is the problem

[u/Patrick2701 → u/IThoughtThisWasVoat]

Northwestern has the money to compete in the big ten

[u/TheTrueVanWilder → u/Patrick2701]

cries in train noises

[u/Denadamedacro → u/IThoughtThisWasVoat]

As someone who didn’t realize this was pasta, I still fully saw the vision. Show me the lie!

[u/KingBlank → u/IThoughtThisWasVoat]

Talk shit my man, you tell um. Edit God dammit it's AI

[u/AfricanWarPig → u/IThoughtThisWasVoat]

Legit question:

If Northwestern now has an NFL-style stadium, and the Chicago Bears have been looking for a stadium, why didn't they just team up for a Chicago Stadium and share, a la Hard Rock w/ the Dolphins and Hurricanes?

[u/gimlan → u/AfricanWarPig]

Because the stadium is small. Amazing, but small

[u/TheJeniceri → u/IThoughtThisWasVoat]

This is quite possibly the most AI-ish comment I’ve ever seen on Reddit. Emdashes, sentence structure, everything.

[u/IThoughtThisWasVoat → u/TheJeniceri]

Copypasta from Indiana fan in last weeks game thread.

[u/Cartmaaan-brah → u/IThoughtThisWasVoat]

Hell yeah brother

[u/DefiniteAuthority → u/IThoughtThisWasVoat]

This is exactly what I’ve been telling anyone who thinks NU can’t compete in the Big 10. No one ever understands that NU has been proving people wrong pretty consistently since the Rose Bowl appearance in 1996.

Now they have a brand new state-of-the art stadium and the best practice facilities in college football. Add to that a very large NIL budget to spend. Pat Ryan didn’t donate almost $480mil to put a shitty team on the field.

[u/Chiron17 → u/IThoughtThisWasVoat]

Delicious new pasta opportunity

[u/IThoughtThisWasVoat → u/Chiron17]

This is pasta from an Indiana fan in last week’s game thread.

[u/timbo1615 → u/IThoughtThisWasVoat]

fwiw, Pat Ryan is now involved in Bears stadium negotiations (Warren is benched) and will get it done for them to stay in IL

[u/lucasbrosmovingco → u/IThoughtThisWasVoat]

Well that's the most spinstastic evaluation of northwestern football I've seen lately.

[u/I_Am_Dwight_Snoot → u/IThoughtThisWasVoat]

The Bears stadium is objectively not Illinois fault though. They want a shit ton of tax breaks and Indiana is willing to give them a bunch of concessions. It was a raw deal for Illinois.

If anything Illinois is listening to the voter base by not pissing money away. The conservative media spins it as a "lol liberals" story but most people here are pissed at the Bears ownership.

Oh and some folks in Indiana are pissed about the money spend already so that stadium may be less likely than you think.

[u/a_happy_future → u/IThoughtThisWasVoat]

Downvoting because of the subtle defense of billionaires by taking a shot at Illinois when you're literally saying how Northwestern privately funded their stadium...

[u/ReasonableAlgae6067 → u/IThoughtThisWasVoat]

Funniest copypasta

[u/DisgruntledCascadian → u/IThoughtThisWasVoat]

That’s not a locker-room upgrade — that’s an NFL-style stadium.

He’s got Chip Kelly as OC — actual Chip Kelly, fresh off helping Ohio State win a title — plus Jerry Neuheisel

Fuck your AI slop.

[u/confused-koala → u/IThoughtThisWasVoat]

I love what they're doing but calm down. NFL stadiums don't seat 35K

[u/WoodsLovelyDarkNDeep → u/IThoughtThisWasVoat]

Wth does Northwestern need with a Stadium that cost nearly as much as AY&T stadium cost to build?  That almost sounds like a money laundering scheme

[u/No_Recognition_5266 → u/IThoughtThisWasVoat]

Almost the same playbook as Indiana. UCLA gets that as they hired a JMU coach.

[u/Worldly-Spot-7812 → u/IThoughtThisWasVoat]

Maybe the same guy who put up money for
northwestern and is an owner of the Bears should put up more money for the Bears and privately fund it as well.

[u/Chaotic-PopTart → u/IThoughtThisWasVoat]

I was wondering where Neuheisel ended up (and what his name was). He’s fantastic, and I’m really excited to watch him develop 

[u/Sammodile → u/IThoughtThisWasVoat]

Please explain to me what Illinois should be doing to keep the Bears. My views:
1. Soldier Stadium is a perfectly good venue.
2. NFL owners don’t need our tax dollars.

[u/michigan22413 → u/IThoughtThisWasVoat]

AI slop

[u/Th3_St1g → u/IThoughtThisWasVoat]

AI slop

[u/Professional_Shoe392 → u/IThoughtThisWasVoat]

Why was the stadium half empty?

[u/ReasonableAlgae6067 → u/IThoughtThisWasVoat]

Funniest copypasta

[u/MG_MN → u/IThoughtThisWasVoat]

Yep, money printer is in full effect like with Indiana. It dictates everything in college sports now

[u/suns-bears1234 → u/IThoughtThisWasVoat]

Ai slop writing

[u/IThoughtThisWasVoat → u/suns-bears1234]

It’s copypasta bro. Still probably ai