I hate eggs but I need to eat them

[u/DonaldShimoda]

How do I stop myself from vomiting constantly while I shove eggs into my mouth to meet my protein goals?

And no, I won't consider eating any other kind of protein. I have to eat lots of eggs.

[u/pregbob]

French toast, assuming you also have carb goals.

[u/DonaldShimoda → u/pregbob]

But I'm American though

[u/GenericPlantAccount → u/DonaldShimoda]

Freedom toast

[u/p00n-slayer-69 → u/DonaldShimoda]

Start a change.org petition asking Trump to rename it to American toast.

[u/Nikotelec → u/p00n-slayer-69]

Erm, you'll find that American toast is legally defined as cake.

[u/UbiquitousCelery → u/p00n-slayer-69]

I don't think we need to petition. He'll get around to it eventually

[u/p00n-slayer-69 → u/UbiquitousCelery]

Maybe we should bribe a fox news reporter to mention it on air.

[u/SpiderRadio → u/DonaldShimoda]

Do you like them devilled? I add jalapenos to mine. I also add a little less of the wet condiments, and stuck in fridge so it hardens before I eat. I also hate most forms of eggs and outside of an occasional and wicked and wild craving for an omelet about once every three years, this is the only way I'll ever eat them. They call them devilled cuz the devil makes you eat more.

[u/Drabulous_770 → u/[deleted]]

In Soviet Russia, egg hatch you!

[u/MrTurkeyTime → u/[deleted]]

Would that make you the Keister Bunny?

[u/Optimal-Age5397 → u/[deleted]]

Fuckin boof em

[u/MyFrampton → u/[deleted]]

Known in egg circles as “The Reverse Lay”.

Very popular.

[u/Dave-The-Credible345]

Intravenous egg tube

[u/MagicPigeonToes]

Grind them into powder and snort them

[u/CatgirlAnakin]

Listen pretty boy it's not about enjoyment. Real proteinmaxxing sigmas slurp it down with maybe a single chew. Quit crying and Maxx up

[u/runawayoldgirl → u/CatgirlAnakin]

this comment does not yet meet the quota of x's for peak masculinity

[u/SomethingNotTaken98]

Have you tried century eggs? I heard they're disgustingly good.

[u/valleyofsound → u/SomethingNotTaken98]

Did OP say they were in the second moment? Who has time for century eggs this day and ages? OP should try fortnight eggs 

[u/CatCafffffe]

Sorry, there's no other protein. You have to hard boil them and eat them all at once while Strother Martin hovers over you with a whip.

[u/umumgeet]

Get really drunk and pickle them at medium. Or start a cool drug addiction and pickle them soft

[u/Dizzy_Nail3557]

You should do what I do, which is to scramble the eggs (with a white wine crema added during the initial cook), then put them in a blender with seltzer water. The ideal consistency is a bit of a swamplike slurry, so feel free to add corn starch and white vinegar as needed to achieve this result. Once finished, refrigerate overnight, add about a tablespoon of maple syrup, then put it into a syringe and inject directly into your veins.

[u/masterchef2309]

Shove them up your peehole

[u/Bright_Ices]

Two things that always work for me: add a tablespoon of vanilla for every two eggs in your meal OR brine the eggs in salted vodka and enjoy it like you would a martini on the rocks. You’ll only need like 12 or 13 per day.

[u/Ellsworth129]

Add a bay leaf for flavor

[u/1011101100010]

I have no eggs and I must cook

[u/Primaveralillie]

Switch to roe. That way you can eat 100s of eggs in one bite. Way more efficient.

[u/Hermiona1]

Blend them into a smoothie. Very efficient

[u/Willowling]

Get you an ovipositor, and pretend a sexy alien is laying eggs in you. Works for me.

[u/SanchoPanzaLaMancha1]

Hope you aren't eating the yolks, piggy

[u/cropguru357]

Up your butt?

[u/Some-Ad-1588]

Boof is obviously the only answer..

[u/zqmbgn]

boil them, then insert them via anus

[u/Icey_Raccon]

Egg drop soup, a.k.a. egg flower soup, a.k.a. danhuatang.

You can add all kinds of veggies.

[u/nukedmindpalace]

1. Blend hardboiled eggs into mayo

2. Put into squirt bottle

3. Eat with Krabby Patties by squirting into your throat, bypassing your taste buds

[u/teeny_97055]

Hard boil them then boof 🥚 gone

[u/F_O_R_T_I_S]

omlet

[u/TheDailyMews]

Sprinkle crushed protein bars over your eggs. Use chocolate and peanut butter protein bars. Confía en mí, hermano.

Context: https://www.nytimes.com/wirecutter/reviews/gen-ai-smart-speakers/

[u/capnlatenight → u/[deleted]]

I know we're CJing here, but eating cooked eggs unseasoned has made me gag before. Even just salt brings it from a chore to swallow to entirely palettable (for me).

[u/SoyboyCowboy → u/[deleted]]

Just leave now while you're still safe. This is the satire cooking subreddit.

[u/capnlatenight → u/[deleted]]

/r/LostRedditors

[u/listeningunderurbed]

I mean, if you REALLY wanna hit your goals scramble them and put them in a smoothie with like kale and spinach to habe a green type smoothie. You won’t even really taste them. It might not reach all goals but meet some.

If you want some tiny alternatives there are those tiny meat sticks or little cubes of cheese that can help you get there.

You can also have protein powder in a smoothie in the morning.

[u/LuckyCod2887]

I have the same problem with eggs from time to time. Sometimes they just have a weird smell and texture to them and it’s very overpowering

what you could do is remove the yolk so you only have egg whites and use a lot of spice. Don’t just use salt and pepper. Start experimenting with spices you like or get premade spice mixes. You can use paprika and taco seasoning for example or slap your mama is really popular.

give it a lot of space and throw in some vegetables like a stirfry style it’s all really loose like fried rice, it might be easier to digest all of it because there’s a lot of flavor going on and even different textures to keep you distracted. That’s what I do and it gets me through my protein goals.

[u/sfweedman → u/LuckyCod2887]

Kinda bullshit are you even talking about here.

No MSG? No shoving the eggs into an orifice they're not normally designed to go into?

I question your commitment to sparkle motion

[u/DescriptionOk4987]

Boiled eggs?