r/Cornell • u/anonymous8566 STAFF • 2d ago
General Discussion Culture of manipulation
Staff here. My supervisor has gaslit me, steamrolled me, and severely undermined my confidence. I can no longer function normally at work or elsewhere. I cannot go on like this.
Has anyone been in a similar situation in this system? My DMs are open. I might not be able to share specifics, I am terrified of retaliation.
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u/jastan10 ALUM 2d ago
I had a manager who did this, just kept breaking me down over and over again. If you have done everything you can to rectify the situation sometimes you just have to leave. I’m sorry it’s a shitty time to do that with all the hiring freezes going on. Departments are pretty strapped.
Try not to let this shit manager destroy your self worth so much that you can see yourself succeeding in another position. Keep your ear to the workday jobs posting board. There’s another place in Cornell for you! Or maybe even in another uni or non profit.
Hugs
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u/jastan10 ALUM 2d ago
Additionally, Cornell has coaching and therapy services depending on if you need someone to talk to.
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u/Unga_Bunga ALUM / STAFF 2d ago edited 2d ago
Very familiar story, depressingly everywhere, and Cornell is no exception.
After years of success, my mgmt. led me to believe my role was to be re-worked, all while I endured clear symptoms of burnout for years; they then let me go as soon as was “convenient” this past March.
Cornell, for all its lofty “the greatest good” marketing fluff, is amazingly dependent on the people-pleasing good nature of the worker for its success - often as not, Cornell meets its promises despite marginal-to-gross incompetence of unit / dept. leadership.
To be sure, great management teams do exist - I served proudly with three iterations over 12 years! - but toxic management is allowed equal place to thrive; Cornell is still just another bastion of late-stage capitalism at its finest.
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u/Real_10SqMi_ity STAFF 2d ago
Are you union?
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u/anonymous8566 STAFF 2d ago
I am not
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u/Real_10SqMi_ity STAFF 2d ago
Sorry fam. Wish we could help. Reach out in a DM if you want, happy to listen and maybe even point you to some resources.
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u/HappyKoalaCub ALUM 2d ago
I’m not doing my PhD at Cornell but dealing with a similar thing at my current institution
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u/CanadianCitizen1969 ALUM 2d ago
Another great look for eCornell
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u/S-Melongena ITHACA 2d ago
Reach out to Cornell Ombudsmen. They’re there to be helpful and maintain a degree of separation from the situation.
Signed, an experienced and successful whistleblower.