r/CuratedTumblr • u/AnxiousTuxedoBird How to Send a Fictional Character to Therapy • 1d ago

Self-post Sunday Burger

Post image
958 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

38 comments sorted by

63

u/TrioOfTerrors 1d ago

Every now and again, I like to find a place that serves it's sodas in cans and the waitress is still mad about smoking being banned inside 20 years ago and eat a greasy bar burger made not with love but indifference and mild contempt by a guy with a couple low level felony charges.

23

u/HeckOnWheels195 1d ago

That's the best burger

13

u/TrioOfTerrors 1d ago

Bonus points if the fixings are just on the bar in Tupperware of dubious food safety standards.

8

u/lifelongfreshman https://youtu.be/1eWsk6r6_Ns 1d ago

I still don't know why anyone'd go to Waffle House for a burger, but you do you

6

u/Baker_drc 1d ago

Kinda place that only takes cash in 2026

9

u/TrioOfTerrors 1d ago

The sign by the register says:

No Cards

No Checks (Except for Earl)

No Credit (Especially not for Earl)

And the casual observer is left wondering why Earl alone is allowed to write a check, which really is a form of credit, but can't have his tab held on credit.

Earl has also been dead for 30 years.

31

u/TheeScribe2 1d ago

God I want a burger right now

McDonald’s is like 4 kilometres away and it’s almost midnight and I’m high and have to walk through like a valley to get there

21

u/CptnHnryAvry 1d ago

You can do 4k in under an hour. Go burger. 

6

u/mechanicalcontrols 1d ago

If properly hydrated and properly motived (being high at midnight and craving McDonald's suggests this isn't the case), a human with a good pair of shoes could easily do that in half an hour.

2

u/ImpTheShmuck 1h ago

"As a rule, gentlemen, I am an inactive man, but when there is a sandwich at stake, I am limber of leg and fleet of foot" - Wimpy from the Popeye comics after chasing down a dog that had a burger tied to it to lure him away.

3

u/TheeScribe2 1d ago

Took me a bit over an hour because it have to walk through fields and down and up a small valley, but it was absolutely worth it

I was literally the only person in the McDonald’s other than the employees who were just kind of having a chat and a laugh and one was shadow boxing with the security guard

2

u/junpei 1d ago

You should probably go to bed.

3

u/Not-a-Damn_Bot 1d ago

Go to sleep then

21

u/bisexual_pinecone 1d ago

As an American, my favorite stereotype about us is that we love burger. We do love burger. 🤤😁🍔

5

u/AnxiousTuxedoBird How to Send a Fictional Character to Therapy 1d ago

Burger is that good!!!

9

u/popejupiter 1d ago

Burger and fries is steak and potatoes you can eat with your hand. I will not be taking further questions.

9

u/SerenaLunalight .tumblr.com 1d ago

Americans when hungry: Imagine a burger

13

u/AcceptableWheel 1d ago

I'm just glad it wasn't an oil joke. Those have gotten old.

8

u/FriendlySkyWorms 1d ago

Not to be American on main, but my car needs an oil change.

2

u/SeraphimFelis Too inhumane for use in war 1d ago

Not to be American on main, but my car

3

u/tyttuutface 1d ago

Cars are for communists. REAL Americans drive a Ford F-150.

1

u/b3nsn0w 8h ago

unlike those iranian girls

14

u/Crownie 1d ago

Burgers are great and I will not hear a word against them. Anti-burgerism is just knee jerk contrarianism.

1

u/b3nsn0w 8h ago

hella agreed. i disagree with a lot of americanisms but burgers are top tier

4

u/ICantEvenDolt confused aroace on curated tumblr 1d ago

Just finished a Wendy’s Baconator, it was great 🤤

4

u/Skaboney 1d ago

Capital B Burger. They mean business.

11

u/Not-a-Damn_Bot 1d ago

Bro I just got back from a steakhouse nearby and the burgers they make there are great, somewhat makes up for them playing dogshit 2010s country 24/7

Burgers are great when you don't got a bitch in your telling you their nasty, especially burgers with grilled beef instead of fried

3

u/OneQuarterBajeena 1d ago

Me too man, me too

3

u/VengeanceKnight 1d ago

OK, you’ve convinced me.

I’m going out to get a burger.

4

u/elefhino 1d ago

This activated me like a sleeper agent, lmao

I really want a good black bean burger, but the only places around me that serve veggie burgers are the impossible or beyond ones. Maybe I'll go to the grocery store and just make one myself

2

u/Hexxas Head Trauma Enthusiast 1d ago

Mmmmm yumby burgies 🍔😋👍

2

u/T_Weezy 19h ago

The #burger really sells it.

1

u/TrashFanboy 1d ago

"America, you're burger hungry..."

1

u/megakodex 19h ago

Shit, what we gotta compare now?

2

u/NIMA-GH-X-P Jerka985 1d ago

I feel angry for no reason tonight

Let's deAmericanize burgers

1

u/SolomonOf47704 God Himself 10h ago

You can pry it from our cold dead hands.

1

u/NIMA-GH-X-P Jerka985 10h ago

Sure thing