r/Divorce • u/noxiousequinox • 13h ago

Vent/Rant/FML At the end?

My wife (28) and I (38m) are at crossroads. I cheated two years ago. She's been amazing. we have two kids. 3 and 3mo. We are gear together.... As friends. As lovers, we suck. She's super into Christianity now and I'm just... Lost. I tried Christianity twice now. It's felt good until ME actually makes an appearance. I am bipolar, and have OCD, along with other things. I just want her and my kids to be happy. She continues to see the nest in me. I see the real in me. I've mentioned parting ways and she's either freaked or said our vows are stronger. I want someone else romantically - no one in mind, just different - what do I do?

4 Upvotes

75% Upvoted

6 comments sorted by

9

u/Constant-Book-4655 13h ago

this woman is about to have a shitty 15 years because of you... coparent amicably and divorce

3

u/Anxious_Treacle_1955 13h ago

You're both stuck in a loop where she's clinging to the vows and you're already checked out, and that's just grinding you both down. The kids will pick up on that tension, even the 3-month-old will sense it eventually. Dragging this out because she freaks when you mention splitting isn't fair to her either, she deserves someone who's all in, not someone who's staying out of guilt. You said you want her happy, so do the hard thing and make a clean break. The Christianity angle complicates it since she probably sees divorce as a failure, but staying in a dead marriage isn't exactly holy either. My parents did the "stay together for the kids" thing and it messed me up more than the divorce ever did.

9

u/mhbb30 11h ago

You should divorce her. It's pretty clear you're not invested and it's not fair fir you to keep wasting her life.

3

u/Western_Flow1810 12h ago

If you want something different and no longer see a romantic future, staying out of guilt will only lead to resentment You have two very young children (3 and 3mo), so focus on getting individual therapy for your mental health and working toward a healthy, amicable co-parenting relationship rather than holding onto a marriage that isn't working for either of you

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u/Funny_Statistician16 6h ago

Your OCD has probably also spread to relationship OCD. Look it up. What you say is classic

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u/raeoflyte-460 49m ago

You want to leave her at 3mo post partum because you just think you want someone else?