r/Funnymemes • • 14h ago

😂

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1.3k Upvotes

57 comments sorted by

74

u/TapatioTacos 14h ago

Hold me now! I’m six feet from the edge and I’m thinking

21

u/jarednards 13h ago

🎶It may be six feet, but Im british and only use metric😔🎵

7

u/random9212 13h ago

Except when driving or weighing yourself or buying beer at a bar/pub

1

u/Legal_Jedi 13h ago

Is that a British thing, too? I know Canada does this, using either metric or imperial/SAE specifically depending on the circumstance or context.

2

u/Turt1estar 13h ago

Never been to jolly old England but every British movie/TV I’ve seen they go to the pub to get a pint which is an imperial measurement

2

u/random9212 13h ago

Roads are miles weight is stone and beer is sold by the pint or fraction there of. I am sure there are more but those are the ones I know.

2

u/TapatioTacos 13h ago

Oh no the enslaved measurements

26

u/Hamilton-Beckett 13h ago

You gotta put the terrible songs on right before you leave.

I once played “only you” like 6 times somewhere and by the fourth time they were looking for the son of a bitch that did it.

I also worked at a bar once that had this BITCH of a lazy shitty bartender. She HATED RAMMSTEIN.

So when she’d disappear for a smoke, I’d run to the juke, and put $10 worth of Rosenrot ($1 a song back then) and then run back to what I was doing before anyone saw me.

14

u/gorgargotyou 13h ago

I put Gojira's Art of Dying on in a bar that was more of a Zac Brown place. They cut it off a couple minutes in, my Touch Tunes account was banned, and the songs I had in queue were wiped.

5

u/Mr_HahaJones 12h ago

If they had Gorguts’ Obscura on there I’d be in heaven.

14

u/RainingMoneyHustard 5h ago edited 4h ago

I used to play "meatloaf - I would do anything for love" about 3 times in a row whenever I came across a jukebox to get a reaction from people. It's like a 13-minute song. It usually wasn't a good reaction.

4

u/Extreme-Island-5041 4h ago

I downloaded the TouchTunes app and would do drive by torture runs of all the local bars that had those jukeboxes. I'd play the dumbest shit I could think of based on the "vibes" of the bar. Country bar? You get Lil Jon. Fancy yourself a bougie spot? Gwar. Hard to tell or neutral bar? The Macarena. I was in my early 20s and a prick

5

u/Dependent-Sea-7467 4h ago

Lmfao GWAR being played would murder me

1

u/sofaking_scientific 26m ago

I go for the boys are back in town by thin lizzy

68

u/Nathan-R32 14h ago

Billie eilishs careers finally taken the turn it deserves i see.

17

u/Particular-Caramel32 14h ago

That's her sister, Tammy. Duh.

1

u/Its-Finch 11h ago

I read this like she was singing “Bad Guy”

1

u/I_Am_Conjoined 6h ago

Wonder if she ever gave back that stolen land her mansion was sitting on after that Native American tribe came forward 🤔

15

u/Erdal10 14h ago

Can you explain this to not natives?

63

u/random_name_pi 14h ago

Applebees is a low-middle quality chain restaurant. Creed is a late 90s early 00 rock band. Touch tunes is like a jukebox to play the music. Dollaritas is a low cost alcoholic drink.

Dude is getting hammered at a cheap chain restaurant and forcing everyone to listen to this music.

27

u/Bobsothethird 14h ago

Additionally, the waitress is getting tipped less because he's buying the cheapest alcohol available, dollar drinks, while putting 20s in shitty music.

14

u/Unlucky_Ad_9776 13h ago

Welcome to America. 

-4

u/LuckyMushyGrower 13h ago

It’s literally only like this because no matter if you like it or not, you’re gonna have a group of low quality humans who are only able to do a low quality job with low quality standards. You, Pam, what you can be happy they’re employed because in any other society anywhere outside of America, they would’ve been left for dead or starving and begging on the streets

3

u/Unlucky_Ad_9776 12h ago

Dude... what is wrong with you.  Everyone started out doing a what you call low quality job. I have done waiting it's not for the weak.  I don't blame her for hating her job.  I expect it. I don't expect the best from Apple bee's customers.  But to be honest fast food and service jobs are not easy.  Most people who talk shit on other  people's jobs.  Would not be able to handle them.  I used to work at sonic I had to train managers on how to make stuff.  Most managers were way out of their league.  They couldn't keep up or keep a handle on random bullshit that arises.  Most people have no clue how hard something is unil they have done that job. I also waited that is not easy.  You are managing a thousand things at once.

2

u/TapatioTacos 13h ago

You are the animal planet narrator we all deserve

5

u/Savings_Dig1592 14h ago

Take an Andrew Jackson's worth of punishment, Tammy!

4

u/Putrid-Builder-3333 10h ago

That'll teach... you to cut me off... from tbe dollaritas! Looks like I'm now out of all my Dollarinos!

🎵🎵 Caaaaaan you take me higherrrrrrr. Fuuuuck youuuu Tammy 🎶🎶

5

u/Individual-Ask7000 13h ago

Aaaaaaaaand there goes Tammy's tip.

4

u/thehotshotpilot 13h ago

One of the bars I used to be a regular at had a sign that stated:    No trolling the jukebox. You know who you are. All Nickleback songs will be skipped and no refunds. 

6

u/AskPizza 10h ago

She's just getting mentally prepared for yet another fake christian pamphlet left as a "tip" while her bosses steal her minimum wage and lie to the government about how many tips she earns, so they don't have to pay the minimum wage to her, as is legally required.

Oh, and if she tries to hire a lawyer, they won't take her case, as it won't be very profitable for them. True story, and a personal one.

3

u/XuliganZombie 14h ago

Tammy Eilish

3

u/sunsetdrifter0 13h ago

I've tried reading rooms before using those, play some music i think they'd like, but it would be 50/50. So now i just play "Straight to Hell" by The Clash and "Pink Triangle" by Weezer back to back

4

u/Gullible_Guard_4801 12h ago

We had a guy playing terrible music in the bar we were at. We ended up paying the premium to skip his songs. We realized we were sitting right next to the guy playing the terrible music and didn't tell him. He was telling us how pissed he was about it but we never told him.

3

u/jasonlaneonthetrack 10h ago

Obviously, as one does.

2

u/sonof_fergus 13h ago

Got the whole staff 6 ft from the edge 😂

3

u/warwilf 10h ago

she looks like a dollar tree Billie Eilish

2

u/MH484 8h ago

Well I just learned about TouchTunes

3

u/Big_P4U 4h ago

Even better if you put Higher on repeat

1

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1

u/Betelgeuse3fold 13h ago

1

u/fattmarrell 13h ago

This was somehow even more terrible but more tolerable at the very same time

1

u/Pretty_Mix_1355 12h ago

I thought this server looked like Billie Eilish and we were engaged for 3 months.

1

u/Legitimate_Initial_3 11h ago

I like sneaking in some wheeler walker jr. Into those smaller dive bars with a couple pool tables. Specifically "family tree" Because of where I live it's almost always the same sounding country songs or divorced dad rock so me and my buddies get a pretty good kick outta watching people slowly get upset once they actually listen to the lyrics

1

u/Newyew22 10h ago

Hold me now.

2

u/Turbulent-Sense-8955 9h ago

Get you a girl that looks at you the way she does!

1

u/ispeektroof 8h ago

I just put on Dopesmoker once.

1

u/Evening-Animal-4820 4h ago

for $5 you would get 18 songs and there just so happens to be 18 songs on the tom petty best of album.

2

u/capybaras_and_tacos 2h ago

Applebees seems like a place that people with no hope go to die.

1

u/fun-bucket 1h ago

typical tammy.

1

u/eidolon77 45m ago

John Mulaney – The Salt and Pepper Diner

You're welcome.

0

u/ZealousidealSundae33 12h ago

I know Applebee's but no clue what all the rest means :-)

-1

u/ExplorerConstant 8h ago

Generated by GenAI

-1

u/WintersDoomsday 6h ago

I hate jukeboxes because mainstream acts are so meh to me. Music that appeals to the masses is always watered down.