r/gay • u/LeoRavenscroft • 35m ago
r/gay • u/Merari01 • Jan 28 '26
(repost) On trans rights and the position of this subreddit
The community present in this subreddit is wonderful, inclusive and has always welcomed not only gay people but everyone under the gender and sexual minority umbrella.
The mod team is very happy to see this welcoming atmosphere and we thank each and every one of you for your love and empathy.
With the current trend in the US for extreme-right politicians to demonise vulnerable minorities so they can score cheap political points it is however time for this place to openly make a stand as to what our positions and intentions are so that we are a beacon in the dark. So that all of our siblings know that they are welcome here.
I was asked by the mod team to explain a few facts about transgender people and about the position this subreddit has towards inclusion.
Trans rights are human rights. 🏳️⚧️
Being transgender is a natural and normal variation in the human gender and sexual experience. Both sex and gender exist on a spectrum and there isn't actually anything inherently wrong or disordered from being trans, by and of itself.
Should there be no fake, artificially generated outrage against trans people in society then they would simply get the self-affirming care required for them to be happy and that would be that. Instead, unfortunately, existing as transgender has become the new wedge-issue for the extreme-right and deliberate demonisation and villification has been mainstreamed to the point where Republican politicians are now openly calling for genocide.
The issues trans people experience are mainly societal in nature. It is society that imposes gender norms, it is society that tells people they may not be who they are.
There are many ways that a non-trans person can seek self-affirming care in life. Some of those are done via permanent body modification through surgical or chemical means. A woman might for example choose to take estrogen supplements to stave off unwanted physical and psychological side effects resulting from the menopause.
It is not uncommon for a young man to choose to have breast reduction medication or surgery in the case of gynecomastia.
A young woman might choose to get breast implants.
You do not hear people in outrage about these forms of self-affirming care. No-one cares, except suddenly when the topic is trans people. This is because the anti-trans movement is wholly articificial. It is a deliberately created fake outrage about a non-issue for political and monetary gain.
Fascism is an inherently empty ideology, devoid of any meaningful belief-system or any kind of concrete and actionable strategies for improving society. Fascism only cares for power for the sake of power and it cares for nothing else.
Because a fascist system is fundamentally incapable of giving the general public any kind of reasonable platform it must gain and keep followers by creating an out-group to hate. According to fascist systems it is the other that is responsible for all societal ills and only by supporting the fascists in getting rid of the other can society be healed from the non-existent issues fascism convinces people that their target minority is the cause of.
Fascism always picks on a vulnerable target.
The demonisation and villification coming from the extreme-right is doing exactly that. By calling LGBTQ+ people child molestors simply for existing it has become inevitable that people will take up violence "to protect the children".
Attempting to eliminate a target comes in many forms, of which an extermination camp is only the final and most egregious part. It is always preceded by legislating people out of existence, by creating laws which make it impossible for a minority to participate in society and to receive any of the societal advantages that are the entire reason for collective bundling together of skills, resources in civilisation. This is exactly what Republican states are doing today to transgender people. Certain states have already denied trans people any and all medical care related to their identity, meaning that they deliberately impose abject misery on them.
The most egregiously fascistic states are trying to make it a matter of course to remove trans children from the care of their parents and make it illegal for trans people to be present in any public spaces at all.
This is genocide.
Genocide is not purely restricted to extermination, to murder. Genocide is also eliminating a minority group from public life, causing serious bodily and mental harm and taking away children of a minority group from their parents.
Depending on how strictly you'd want to define it, we are currently at stage seven or eight of genocide as defined by the Holocaust Memorial Trust.
One way in which the abject hypocrisy of the anti-trans laws becomes crystal clear are the remarkable exemptions encoded within. You would think that if the goal is protecting the children from harm then these people would want to protect all children from harm.
This is not the case.
In fact, all of these people deliberate include exceptions which allow the continuation of genital re-allignment surgery on unconsenting infants if they are intersex.
This means that if a baby is born with a genital configuration that to a doctor looks ambiguous or not adhering to a strict binary then this doctor can impose an invasive genital surgery, forcing such an infants body to adhere to a stricter binary look.
It is purely cosmetic. Of course they do not check what chromosomes a child has. Of course they do not care that a child might prefer to look as nature made them.
It is purely and only an imposition on a baby's body, with of course the normal failure and mortality rate that such invasive procedures bring with them.
These people do not care about children.
These people do not want to help children.
They want to harm a vulnerable minority.
Fascism never stops.
Now that these people have mainstreamed transphobia, they are moving on to other targets within the LGBTQ+ identity sphere.
We have all seen the absurd attacks on drag queens, calling a normal and harmless theatrical expression "child abuse".
We have all seen the "clever" rhetoric where they turn arguments upside down and disingeniously say things like "why do you want to be around children".
Fascism doesn't stop, it moves on to new targets and that is why it is important for all of us in the GSM identity sphere to stand together. To openly support our trans siblings. To openly stand against hateful rhetoric.
Because they are not going to stop.
The next step, which is already tentatively beginning, is calling gay people being openly gay in society"groomers".
To be clear: The recommended treatment for being transgender is transitioning.
Gender identity is developed by five years old.
The barrage of lies notwithstanding, allowing trans people to transition and to exist as who they are in society markedly improves their physical and mental wellbeing.
The oft-heard talking point of "they still commit suicide even after transitioning" is a lie.
Here is a wealth of sources and links explaining this.
Our trans siblings are welcome here.
Our gender nonconforming siblings are welcome here.
Our intersex siblings are welcome here.
What is not welcome on this subreddit is hate or divisive rhetoric aimed at our siblings. We will not allow the current increasing trend of fascist othering and villification of a marginalised minority to make our siblings feel unwanted in this space, our space, their space.
The only people who are not welcome here are those that want to exclude others based on how they were born.
Further reading:
No, TERFs cannot "always tell" and I can prove that with mathematics.
"I just care about unfair advantage in sports", a transparant transphobic wedge issue.
Drag queens, the next target in the fascist drive to eliminate LGBTQ+ people.
r/gay • u/NiConcussions • 6h ago
A 41-Year History of Toronto Mayor Olivia Chow’s LGBTQ Advocacy
For over four decades, Olivia Chow has talked the talk and walked the walk when it comes to her support for LGBTQ rights. From her anti-discrimination advocacy as a Toronto Board of Education member in the 1980s to her outspoken support for same-sex marriage and gender-identity protections as a member of Parliament (MP), Chow has been a longtime supporter of Canada’s queer community.
Chow, who became Toronto’s mayor in 2023, is in a tight reelection race that will take place on Oct. 26 against Brad Bradford, an urban planner and member of the Toronto City Council. Chow’s platform is centered on fighting rising costs, community safety, affordable housing and fixing the city’s public transportation system, while Bradford’s is focused on decreasing crime and transportation congestion and increasing affordability and city cleanliness.
Bradford’s LGBTQ track record isn’t bad: Earlier this week, he took part in an LGBTQ inclusion forum, where he said that “we need to make sure this is a city that comes together and rallies around unity and make sure that in all the spaces we are all seen, there is a place of tolerance and in fact celebration for all of us.”
Despite this, Chow—who appeared and spoke at an Uncloseted Media fundraiser in May—has put her allyship toward Toronto’s queer community front and center for nearly half a century. Here’s a timeline of her support for LGBTQ causes.
Updated Favorite LGBT+ Music Artists
Updated Favorite LGBT+ Music Artists I have regularly listened to over the years along with some newer faves.
Adam Lambert
Allie X
Angel Haze
Ashnikko
Billie Eilish
Bree Runway
Cain Culto
Chappell Roan
Chrissy Chlapecka
Cynthia Erivo
Doechii
Doja Cat
Dorian Electra
Ethel Cain
Gloria Groove
Halsey
Haute & Freddy
Isaac Dunbar
Jade
Janelle Monáe
Kali Uchis
Kehlani
Kevin Abstract
Kim Petras
Lil Nas X
Mitch Grassi (Pentatonix)
Mitski
Olly Alexander
Pabllo Vittar
Princess Nokia
Rebecca Black
Rina Sawayama
SAILORR
SOPHIE
Sam Smith
Scott Hoying (Pentatonix)
Shamir
Slayyyter
St. Vincent
Syd (the internet)
Tanerélle
Troye Sivan
Valencia Grace
Kesha
Tyler Glenn (Neon Trees)
Honorable Mentions who aren’t pictured:
David Bowie
Freddy Mercury (Queen)
Elton John
George Michael
Billie Joe Armstrong (GreenDay)
Lady Gaga
Ricky Martin
Rob Halford (Judas Priest)
Tegan and Sara
Sia
Andy Bell (Erasure)
I feel like they’re very well known, and wanted to showcase more lesser known artists along with well known artists, but I feel like listing to many best selling artists would pull focus from artists I feel people should look into.
r/gay • u/Fickle-Ad5449 • 2h ago
‘I never did that with a man before’: Trump fawns over Ohio Republican’s body at Kentucky rally
r/gay • u/Realistic-Truth-8864 • 1d ago
After years of hiding who I was, I finally came out today 🌈 46 years old ♥️
r/gay • u/Euphoric_Plan_6099 • 12h ago
homophobic india Spoiler
i dont understand wats the problem? lgbtq+ aint hurting no body like why so much hate we had transgender’s since so many years still its not normalised idk man atp i am tired of my country,india ka sabse bara dushman khud indian ha anyways love is love🏳️🌈
r/gay • u/captivatedsummer • 1d ago
On this day in 1977, Anita Bryant was pied in the face.
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r/gay • u/Ok-Pomegranate-4963 • 15h ago
Before Stonewall (1984)
Never seen this, so watching it for the first time today. It was made in 1984, slap bang in the middle of the AIDs pandemic in America. Its a fantastic doc, obviously a little dated, but fascinating. A must watch to learn our history 💗
r/gay • u/AngelOrielle • 34m ago
Tips for douching? TMI
30yo and have never done it before but my partner has a douche and wanted to try some stuff so I figured, why not?
I couldn't get it to work.
Inserted, got water in, then water wouldn't come out. Felt inside and there was stool there, I thought more water would loosen it up, then the feces disappeared and water won't come out. That was yesterday and I'm still bloated but have passed some stool since then.
Where did I go wrong? Help please 🙃
r/gay • u/Clear_Mushroom2820 • 21h ago
How old were you when you met your first (and last?) boyfriend?
And how did you two meet? Did it happen unexpectedly?
r/gay • u/Ale_pastalover • 7h ago
Advice. Hooking up with a guy double my age
I’m talking with a man double my age on Sniffies, and he is quite hot. It’s actually my first time having anal sex and I told him and he seemed totally fine with it. But I’m pretty anxious (or thrilled Idk) about the situation and it’s my first time hooking up with a stranger… he is staying in a very nice zone and he looks kind, am I being paranoid?
r/gay • u/RemarkableProduct252 • 9h ago
Prep side effects
Hi I’ve started taking prep, and I’ve been felling sleepy and nauseous, is that normal? Kinda freaking out
r/gay • u/RealWorldForever • 1d ago
Canadian actor Hart Bochner partying with some other hunks on a yacht with billionaire Barry Diller, 1980s
gallery“LGBT+ people are still being imprisoned simply for existing!”
galleryBecause of an innate genetic trait, the state can arrest you and keep you in prison for over a month. The next step down this road is the concentration camps of Nazi Germany.
In recent months, EMEP Parliamentarian Sevda Karaca exposed the torture and abuse allegedly inflicted by prison guards on LGBT+ detainees held in Eskişehir. In a parliamentary question submitted to the Grand National Assembly of Türkiye (TBMM), she brought to light allegations of death threats, such extreme violence that detainees were left vomiting blood, guards switching off their body cameras during torture to destroy evidence, prison staff encouraging detainees to take their own lives, and the denial of access to medical treatment and healthcare.
We do not know what has become of our friends. They have been imprisoned simply for wanting to live freely as the people they were born to be, and their lives are being threatened behind bars.
The Government and the akp, responsible for these events, are not being held accountable.
Even if you try to kill us, we will continue to exist with our dignity intact. source
r/gay • u/Own-Suspect2317 • 7h ago
How TF do y'all do it
Like shit gets so intimate so fast and for it all to be just casual like what the fuck is this bro I wanna die
r/gay • u/Kindly-Bullfrog-7772 • 1d ago
FORTY LOVE | Official Trailer | STUDIOCANAL
Do gays/queer/lgbt loves to watch straight porn?
So do you love straight porn or only with lgbt one?
What if you love both? Is that mean you're a bi?
r/gay • u/Boring-Tip3234 • 1d ago
Advice
Ok So I’m a train operator for one of the. Of three railroads in the NYC tristate area. My job is so much fun I enjoy what I do, but I don’t exactly enjoy the politics of the place so I tend to keep my sexual orientation to myself. I recently however worked with a conductor that I really was attracted to. He had an amazing ass smile and everything. I avoided him all day after that because I was clearly attracted to him and decided to message him after work to tell him like Yo I think you fire and I’d like to take you out. Turns out he has a boyfriend. This is where I should’ve left things alone and respected the boundary. He says yeah we can go out as friends. Honestly I was cool with this. I always think some dude is sexy. Sometimes it goes my way sometimes it does not
Apparently he was single for a while and just got into a relationship a few weeks ago. He told me he was really happy in his relationship and just had a few things he didn’t like, i encouraged him to fix it.
We meet up to go out and boi the sexual tension is off the charts. I kept telling myself this is not a date, this is your friend but he was lowkey flirting back with me all night but followed by I have a boyfriend. He invited his best friend as well whom I assume was there to keep him in check or to make sure I didn’t take advantage of him or whatever. His friend and I know each other as well so I’m sure he’s told him some
Of my escapades. Like me havjng sex with another coworker on a break before. So we go out im actually enjoying both of their company even though i know what’s going on. Im eventually like yo let me back off even though he’s dead flirting back with me. He starts confiding me about some other stuff that i don’t want to post here but personal shit and his bf and stuff and I started offering advice on how to fix that and he seemed genuine in accepting my advice and then me and him go to the store together to get a vape we’re still talking and I’m like in the back of my mind I don’t think I can be dudes friend. He’s got this flirty look every time he talks to me and smiles like crazy. I still say ok let’s just see how this night goes. We are basically bad hopping at this point and we end up
At a music singing spot. I sit by myself because tbh I was a little fucked up from the previous drinking they sit at the bar and I was cool. His friend invites me over and dudes sitting next to me leaning on me even gave me a lap dance. I’m bisexual and don’t have many gay friends idk if this is something thats done often between gay friends. But we sung to each other. I ended up saying nah he’s def flirting with me, and his friend was basically telling me he has a boyfriend like back off. Im like cool I’ll back off i know thats why he invited you here tonight anyways. As the night goes along all of a sudden he takes me to the bathroom to talk and i don’t do public play but i did want to kiss
Him. His friend walks in like I’m just here to make sure you don’t do something you will regret tomorrow. THe guy who asked me out keeps on mentioning that he wants to play fight me but i feel like that’s just a way for me to touch him or fondle and I wouldn’t give in because he knows I like him. I already came to you honest af like yoo I want you and you Know I do so balls in your court. If you wanna touch me the besides giving me a lap dance and putting ya legs on me show me because you keep giving mixed signals.
So it’s time to go home and tbh he was either really tired or drunk but idk how because he had some bullshit to drink. He’s trying to get rid of his friend so he can be alone with me but the friend is like nah you going home. I probably shouldn’t be saying this but I called for work and had already stopped drinking and him being you know a coworker with access to the same yards , facilities he basically wanted to come with me. His friend insists to take him home and I’m ok with that im going to work anyways. He gets on the train and lays down on me and I’m like yoo I like this but I don’t because now you playing with me.
Next day he denies remembering doing any of that stuff so at that point I say yoo
From now on I respect your boundaries about you being in a relationship but we can’t be friends also. It’s toxic and we work together. And tbh I’m not tyrna be used for dick or attention. I know ima catch 💯. But he had everything I’ve been looking for a while . Cute, short black twink with a prissy attitude but not like overly fem like turned me
On so fucking bad and he was cool to talk too. But yeah now I’m a little sad because I wish I would’ve left it at you got a boyfriend damn just had to shoot my shot he’s a lucky guy goodnight
r/gay • u/miseryofcourse • 8h ago
I don’t feel connected to the gay experience at all
I’ve never worried or cared or even thought much at all about my sexuality. Nothing about being gay ever read to me as being illicit or wrong, but I constantly feel that everyone, including gay men, are operating off that premise and it’s difficult to be authentic in that space. It’s incredibly confusing to me, but all of my gay friends have struggled with this. I didn’t grow up in an environment where it was considered wrong, so I never felt any desire to rebel or to act contrary to the consensus belief. I genuinely don’t have a lot of grievances towards people because of my sexuality. I know a lot of you are going to say I sound like a pick me, but it’s genuinely lonely to feel like none of your friends or your partners share your experience at all. Our concerns and lifestyles are often very dissimilar and if I’m being honest, I find myself actively avoiding looking for a boyfriend nowadays because of it. The pathological primary concern of a lot of gay men, as I understand it, is that being gay is wrong, but that is not my concern at all and I simply find it difficult to truly understand or get along well with someone whose primary concern is just that. I empathize with it and I try to understand it, but ultimately it’s just something I can’t relate to, nor is it a premise I feel is useful to explore. It’s ultimately difficult being in a relationship with someone who subconsciously believes that something is wrong with us. It makes me feel terrible. Does anyone else relate to this?
r/gay • u/Daddy_bear71 • 20h ago
Ghosted
Had a date tonight. I think I'm being ghosted. No reponce to my texts. If you changed your mind just say so.
r/gay • u/Due-Contact-2884 • 1d ago
Being a dad, might not being in the cards
My boyfriend for the last 10-11 years normally makes jokes about me having baby fever. I kinda laughed it off, but to some degree he is right, id love to have a child, however given how much my back pain has taken from me. I don’t have what it’ll take anymore. Physically, and financially i just can’t see it…. I wish i had a son or daughter, perhaps i prefer a son. I feel id have a less and more stressful time raising a boy. I haven’t told my boy friend, and i don’t know if i should he’s always been clear about not wanting to have kids. Tho on part its because if his genetics, he predisposed to a-lot of health issues he didn’t want to pass to a kid.
But fuck… i want a child and Im genuinely saddened by the fact, I don’t think I’ll ever have that. I keep hoping my brother and his wife have a kid, or that my sister starts dating and trying to have a kid.
Ether way, I don’t think I’ll have a kid of my own. Only way for it to be blood would be a mother surrogate…
Thoughts? Questions?