r/GlowUps • u/Hao_Schrodinger_Zhou • 9h ago
Holistic Transformations [19]to[20]A year of learning to self-care and self-love as an international student.[Femboy]
When I was even younger, I was suspended by the middle school because I had issues with their education system. I stayed at home for few years. Those years were no better than the days at school, I lock myself inside my room, avoid interacting with anyone including my parents. When I was feeling better, the only thing I did was playing a video game called Warframe. When it gets worse the only thing I could do is crying in bed till I fall asleep. I still remember those days while I played a song over and over again because I can relate to one piece of the lyrics: “ All I know are sad songs”. Unhealthy lifestyle and the medicines I was using made me gain at least 10 kilos, that I looked puffy and sad. My health condition also went down drastically. I still remember that I was constantly feeling nauseous, had to go to the hospital several times and couldn’t find out anything. I felt really bad and I knew I have to do something, for example go to school, socialize, exercise just like other normal people at my age, but I knew I would never go back to the environment that hurt me deeply. So I asked my parents to send me abroad to study so I can have a fresh start. Gladly my parents changed a lot after those events so they actually supported me on this plan. after one year of studying in an international school in my home country, I finally get to study abroad.
Finally, I am so far away from the traumatizing old environment, however, getting use to a new environment is never easy. I was literally like a pre school baby, traveling in an unfamiliar city with a second language, had to learn to take a bus and observe how people cross the road. The very first day at the airport I literally threw up in the toilet because I was too nervous. The first two months of studying wasn’t ideal either, I found it hard to catch up on certain courses. I was too afraid to be left out again that I almost cried on my seat. Luckily the staff members in the college were really supportive, I wanted to change into a major that I am more confident with, and they told me to relax and said that they indeed see my potential on certain subjects. After the program transition, everything went on track. That I finally have the motivation to take care of myself instead of letting myself go.
Another motivation is that I had a crush on this boy( he is my boyfriend now hehe) and he is into femboys. I didn’t think I was anything close to a femboy back then so I decided to become one. I am not saying that we should become a different person just to meet the expectations of others, but sometimes these expectations might make people discover another part of themselves. My boyfriend actually helped me a lot, whenever I get frustrated with my looks he would always say stuff like “You are not ugly, I like you pretty much.”
However, The first thing I realized was that, omg I look like a whiny fat chud. So the first thing I did was to lose weight. I have to be honest that I went to far the other way at the beginning, sometimes I kinda “punish” myself by not eating for few days, because I was disgusted by my looks in the mirror. This stage I also develop the anxiety on my looks, though they can be a motivation sometimes. This method of weight loss was too extreme and wouldn’t be recommended for anyone, however, I managed to lose ~21kg (75-54) in six months. Zero sugar coke helped me a lot during these times, I was already a big fan of them and they helped me to kill the appetite and skip meals.
Skin care is another thing I was doing, though some damage like acne scars are pretty much irreversible. Tbh I did not do well on the skin care, My skin is still terrible until now. all I did was preventing the acne from growing in the first place, by washing face two times a day and apply some blemish control products. I wonder if laser treatments can help me with the existing acne scars.
I also think that dieting contributes a lot to my glow up. Back then I was constantly eating Chinese takeouts, they are completely OK to eat occasionally, but a lot of the restaurants cook them in a way that makes them extremely high in calories, carbohydrates, salt and fat with insufficient protein, fiber and vitamins. Making them a less than ideal choice if you want to maintain a good skin health and weight. Even some homemade Chinese foods would be much better than those. I switched to a healthier and balanced diet after weight loss(I barely ate during weight loss and it was not healthy AT ALL), I like steaks, roast chicken and carrots more now!
I also grew my hair just to make my face look smaller. Genetically I have a wide and short face( I think I get this from my dad, I hate him!!!), and it’s more obvious with shorter hair. I am wearing a wig in pic 3, that would be my ideal hairstyle if I get to grow my hair to that length.
I actually just started to work out a month ago because I was scared to go to the gym without a friend until I met one. I mainly do incline walking and glutes and legs, they are not much but they indeed helped me with both my mental and physical health.
Speaking of which, glowing up isn’t just about physically looking good, it’s actually a lot about mentality. Am I feeling like myself? Am I satisfied with how I look? Is this the how I want others to see me? I feel like it is a crucial step of people making sense of themselves. What I found out is, if I am confident with my looks , I am actually more willing to make connections with others.
Anyways, thank you for listening to my story! I am more than happy to make some friends in the journey of glowing up. I hope my experience would be helpful for someone else.
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u/squid-kid55 3h ago
Baby, be kind and gentle with yourself. You are amazing and so very brave to learn a new language, a new cultures, study abroad into a brand new world. That takes so much courage, be proud of yourself for all the hard things you have overcome. Self discovery is a journey so sit back and enjoy the ride. Surround yourself with people like yourself brave and kind and amazing, keep trying new things and learning. I am so proud of you, you are an incredible power of example. Wishing you a great big beautiful life and keep sharing your story, we are here to support you and we are cheering for you. Sending love 🩷
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u/Prince-Kite 1h ago
First: Amazing glowup!
Second: Shit. I have like 10-15 lb left to lose and have been failing for over a year. Seeing this makes me feel like I really have no excuse.
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