r/HonestHotTakes • u/NicholasScratchy • May 04 '26
casual hot take Children are not welcome everywhere and businesses/people should not be condemned for not wanting children in some spaces.
Mcdonalds? Sure bring em.
A waterpark? Great, let the kids play.
Church? Ok cool everyone is welcome.
Planes and trains? Fine, we don’t have a choice, you need to travel.
A movie theatre????
A quiet upper scale restaurant???
A tennis match at Wimbledon???
A chess tournament event???
Golfing???
If they are around the age of 7-10 and well behaved then it’s fine. Otherwise, LEAVE YOUR KIDS AT HOME. Please stop trying to make us all suffer for your personal choices and then cry when you get kicked out for the disruption.
I’m really emphasising the movie theatre one. (Kids movies excluded) Why are you bringing your 4yo to watch Sinners? There is absolutely zero justification to bring a child to the cinema for that. Don’t even bring them in for Marvel movies. They don’t know or care what is happening and we don’t want to hear crying/giggling/footsteps while watching. Please spare us I BEG
Edit: a real sensitive parent sent my username to the reddit self harm bot as a false claim that I am suicidal. This is just one example of parents doing anything but looking in the mirror because they can’t handle being called out on being a terrible parent. We don’t want your kids around because you don’t raise them correctly… and it shows.
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u/RustyJalopy May 04 '26
"Oh, but how are we supposed to-" NOT MY FUCKING PROBLEM.
I'm very left leaning, and I'm all for free/affordable day care, free meals at schools and pretty much anything we can do to support parents, and I'm very happy for my taxes to go to these things because it improves society as a whole, but when I'm out in public, don't involve me in the raising of your out of control toddler. It's not my fault you thought it was a good idea to just plonk your kid in front of an iPad for five consecutive years and never say no to them.
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u/uarewronglol May 07 '26
"I'm all for kids as long as I don't have to see,smell, or hear them in any way thst might somewhat mildly annoy me."
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u/RustyJalopy May 08 '26 edited May 08 '26
I'll skip the part where neither I nor OP ever said the existence of children is unacceptable under any circumstance and instead tell you this: being a leftist means understanding that systemic issues are systemic, and making it impossible for people to raise children without basically ruining their lives is a systemic problem with very detrimental long-term effects. That's my concern here. Personally, I really don't particularly like children under the age of 12 (teenagers I'm fine with), but that has zero bearing on my political views about supporting parents. I also think hard drugs should be legal, clean needles should be handed out to heroin addicts for free, and the best way to get drug addicts off the street is free methadone and heroin programs. Doesn't mean I enjoy hanging out around junkies either. It's just what's clearly best for society.
This will not compute, and you're going to shout more misguided sarcasm at me.
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u/uarewronglol May 08 '26
You da goat. "I don't like them personally but I hope the best for them" you talk about children like how a "woke" Christian talks about trans people.
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u/RustyJalopy May 08 '26 edited May 08 '26
More misguided sarcasm because it didn't compute. LOL.
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u/Subject-Rain-9972 May 10 '26
Just raise your kids. You could utilize this fine time to do it, instead of being on Reddit….
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u/Epic_Brunch May 06 '26
That goes both ways though. If I'm in public and my normally well behaved kid starts acting up...
"I'm just trying to quietly enjoy my-" NOT MY FUCKING PROBLEM. Mind your business. If you can't be bothered by the public while in public, stay home.
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u/RustyJalopy May 06 '26
"I'm an unrepentant public nuisance, and I'm proud of it."
Cool.
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u/PhilosopherOld3986 May 04 '26
Are you under the impression that only poorly parented children ever have temper tantrums? Are you under the impression that parents can always anticipate when kids are going to antsy? Families have the right to go out in public. If you want to argue that kids should not be in most public places unless you can guarantee that they will not act up, you are effectively arguing that young children should not be in most public places. A good parent is discerning but even the best behaved children of the most involved parents have their moments. Also, disabilities exist. And how do you expect children to learn how to behave better in public places without going to these places? A lot of kids who whine in public are whining because they are being parented. People often spoil their kids and give them tablets because they would rather bribe their kids to stop whining than put up with the whining to teach the child a lesson.
If you want all public places to always be tranquil and quiet... THAT'S NOT EVERYONE ELSE'S FUCKING PROBLEM. Restaurants and theaters have the option of being child free. If they aren't taking that option it's because they are willing to put up with the occasional rowdy child in order to be family friendly. Go somewhere else.
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u/RustyJalopy May 04 '26
Nobody said anything about "all public places". Maybe read the post you're responding to before you jump down some rando's throat because you don't know what the conversation is about.
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u/Brilliant-Block-8200 May 06 '26
Children and families are obviously allowed out, but I think it’s reasonable that if a child doesn’t behave correctly or is a nuisance, they should be asked to leave. That’s just common courtesy imo
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u/PhilosopherOld3986 May 06 '26
I do think this is one of those issues where a lot is lost in the non specificity of language and this is a conversation where 80% of us actually agree about pretty much everything but are arguing nonetheless. Like, what does is mean to 'behave correctly'? You could just be talking about a kid having a meltdown, or kicking seats or launching projectiles. You probably are. But you could be talking about a baby crying and needing a few moments to quiet down.
Some people say kids don't belong in bars and they mean a a divey place full of drunks. Some people mean any place with a bar, even if the place has a kids menu and high chairs. My distress is that reddit brings out the people in the second group in spades.
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u/ExaggerattedReality May 04 '26
Had someone bring their baby and toddlers to see Don't Breathe. Thought the crying was coming from just outside the theater doors, didn't realize she had stationed herself in the back. Wild decision
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u/SlowNSteady1 May 04 '26
A long time ago, I got disturbed by a crying kid when I went to see Misery. What kind of sick mother brings a toddler to see that?
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u/youranoveryourdog May 04 '26
they think the kid won't remember. Having been that kid, I assure you they absolutely will remember.
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u/MrWolfe1920 May 04 '26
An addition to this is that if your kid can't act appropriately for the venue then they don't belong there. Doesn't matter how old they are or whether kids are normally allowed.
Same goes for adults, really.
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u/NicholasScratchy May 04 '26
Agreed. I’m not bringing a drunk uncle to civilised places. Nor am I bringing a kid that has no self-control
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u/Witty-Stock-4913 May 04 '26
I'd also appreciate you keeping that slow, drunk uncle off the golf course 😉
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u/NicholasScratchy May 04 '26
I’ll tell him to go fetch his good sneakers and drive off before he comes back out haha. I got you!
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u/Lucy333999 May 05 '26
As a teacher, we had to stop going to field trips at the zoo... because of the parents' behavior.
It's a tiny zoo. There was a short tour first of the animals with the zookeeper and then they had free time to roam after and literally go at their own pace.
But every year, the parents would distract the kids away from the person speaking, encourage them to just talk to each other or over the speaker, pull them away from the tour to climb on and sit on statues (that have signs not to touch) for pictures, pull them away to other animals that they aren't talking about yet and then the rest of the class follows and we have to try to coral the kids back, pull them away to play on bouncy toys that's distracting and they can literally play on in just 10 minutes... or my favorite: pull their kid away from the tour entirely to the gift shop and the kid comes out with a soda the same size of them and now every kid in the grade level is crying and complaining that they want a soda too... while the zookeeper is trying to tell them about a tiger. Really fun field trip.
The kids would have been fine on the tour without the parents.
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u/Miss_Awesomeness May 08 '26
Yes, as a parent this absolutely the way I imagine it would go, common courtesy is dead. I bought a life jacket for my toddler and it has ice cream cones on it, it was the only one they had at the time. That life jacket has made at least 5 kids cry for ice cream, I threw it away.
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u/Bluegi May 04 '26
The problem is nobody teaches them to act correctly for the venue anymore. I was at this really stop and go bakery where they aren't waiting for table service they're not taking long time and looking around the room every kid I was on a screen. So you can't even sit down and eat together and expect your kids to behave. They have no stamina for 5 minutes much less an hour or 2.
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u/Passionatepassionfrt May 04 '26
This goes for dogs too.
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u/Defiant_Tea_8722 May 04 '26 edited May 06 '26
As one who is super allergic to dogs, god I wish, I’ve had to leave restaurants
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u/ReasonableArea1108 May 04 '26
People bring non service animals to restaurants and don't get kicked out?
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u/DadlyAsHell May 04 '26
Because of the way laws around service animals are written it is VERY hard to deny someone unless you know EVERYTHING about service animal law in your area.
I support service animals but there needs to be ways to stop people from taking advantage of it. The issue is doing so in a way that doesnt adversely affect the actually disabled. I was thinking something like making service vests only obtainable via the govt and paid for via taxes would work(like most healthcare should be damnit) but im just a peasant so what do I know
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u/Cate0623 May 04 '26
I had a guy actively feeding pepperoni to his dog in a “service dog” vest and allowing him to beg for food from others. He tried to encourage my son to pet him and I said he wasn’t allowed to touch the dog because he was working. The guy said it wasn’t a big deal and I told him it absolutely was. I’m not going to be responsible for distracting his service dog from taking care of him. When I reported it to management, they said they couldn’t do anything because he was a marked dog. Anyone can get vests off Amazon.
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u/Lausannea May 04 '26
Service dogs can be legally denied if they're a nuisance. Keep that in your back pocket, there are no credentials that come with vests because service dogs are supposed to maintain specific behaviors. If they don't behave in a service dog manner it's at all times legal to remove them from the premises without incurring legal trouble
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u/Cate0623 May 04 '26
Oh I tried telling management that, but since the dog “was wearing a service vest and labeled” they couldn’t do anything. I asked the manager how begging for pepperoni was a service dog task and got no response.
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u/Corevus May 10 '26
Service dogs aren't required to wear vests. It's so frustrating that someone can buy a cheap service dog vest, claim their dog is a service dog with no repercussions while I hear stories from people with actual service dogs get denied. Really wish there was more education around the whole thing
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u/gudematcha May 04 '26 edited May 04 '26
The only way it would work is if certification was free, but it was over seen by a person that could actually see you’ve trained them for a specific task and certify your dog. But it would literally have to be free and accessible for pretty much anybody (which is difficult with rural areas and such), a service dog is one of the things you can make yourself basically if you know how to train them/luckily got a smart dog who was into it from the start, if we require certifications that are expensive, or god forbid abysmally expensive certification training or something like that (idk if you know this but ppl on SSI in the US cannot hold more than $2000 at a time or they lose their benefits… doesn’t really help to buy medical equipment or training for a dog huh?) so many so so so so so many people who have actually worked hard to train their own dogs to help them with their disabilities are gonna be shit out of luck. It really is a rock and a hard place.
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u/agirl1313 May 05 '26
I just saw one the other day that was wearing a vest, but very clearly not trained at all. No one kicked it out of the store, though.
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u/Lucky_Philosopher_55 May 04 '26
yeah I used to work in restaurants and this sort of thing happened all the time. I'm pretty sure you're not even allowed to ask for documentation. The vest and/or their word is the only proof they have to provide. I used to have an obnoxious regular who would bring her emotional support chihuahua in and set it on the table. So gross!!
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u/TougherOnSquids May 04 '26
Emotional support animals are not protected service animals. Service animals also have to do a specific task and you are allowed to ask what task it is they do.
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u/MoonChild2792 May 05 '26
You can't ask for documentation but you can ask what tasks the animal performs. People will usually trip up on that question.
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u/PristineSlate May 06 '26
The law does state you’re allowed to boot the dog if it’s causing a disruption.
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u/TougherOnSquids May 04 '26
People who are allergic to dogs are also allergic to service dogs.
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u/PristineSlate May 06 '26
I love dogs, but why??? Like why bring your dog everywhere?
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u/I_need_a_date_plz May 04 '26
I find it so disrespectful when people bring their dogs everywhere. There’s no reason for your dog to be at Target.
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u/Dave_A480 May 04 '26
Dogs belong at home unless the establishment is a pet centric business or explicitly permits them.
They are animals not children.
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u/WinnerAwkward480 May 04 '26
Some Dogs are better behaved, than most children.
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u/magic_crouton May 04 '26
Every single person I have seen say that about their dog owns an unholy terror for a dog.
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u/WinnerAwkward480 May 04 '26
Have you seen some of ppl kids . We were at a restaurant and the ppl in the booth behind us was letting their kid crawl over the back of bench , between us . Their discipline was oh honey don't do that . After the 5th time we asked to be moved to another area . And then there the Screamers , it's always a lil girl . My God they make such a piercing sound !!!! .
When I tell my Dog to sit , she sits till I tell her Up . We have 3 Sons and if they got rowdy , I would tell them they could go sit in the car , till we finished our meal . Over the course of their childhood, there was 2 times where I would take them outside while Wife had our meals packed up to leave .
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u/internetobscure May 04 '26
Goes double for dogs, imo. There's just no reason for dogs to be everywhere.
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u/densitycreep May 04 '26
people always gotta bring up dogs when someone tries to talk about children lol
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u/analdongfactory May 04 '26
The issues are largely the same. Noise, mess, hygiene.
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u/Rude_Sandwich_586 May 04 '26
A lot of the time dogs are more behaved.
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u/lost_nurse602 May 04 '26
Idk, a random persons kid has never bit me while I was sitting at an outdoor patio eating breakfast. But a dog definitely has.
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u/Bkraist May 05 '26
I love all animals ( a lot) but, just like misbehaved humans, were allowed to protect ourselves. I had a dude with a "puppy" German shepherd jump at my step kid's face and I smacked him extremely hard on the nose out of reflex I felt horrible for the dog and yelled at the owner. Irresponsible dog owners should be criminally charged, including fake support vests. (And good dog owners given tax breaks of course).
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u/Passionatepassionfrt May 04 '26
A child has never jumped on me and gotten dirt and slobber all over my pants, but a dog has!! And we’re supposed to laugh and say “It’s okay!” when an unleashed dog charges at you.
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u/BroadwayBean May 04 '26
I tend to scream* really loudly when dogs do that to me and it always shocks people that someone actually reacts badly to that kind of behaviour. They're far too comfortable with bad dog behaviour being laughed off.
*involuntarily - I was bitten as a kid and am terrified of dogs.
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u/analdongfactory May 04 '26
I’ve had children wipe their dirty hands all over me because their grandmother taught them to do that to her when they didn’t have a tissue. I had a younger kid bite me when I was a kid too. Unleashed and untrained dogs definitely aren’t okay either though.
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u/Dave_A480 May 04 '26
Because the anti kid population is wrong about kids but RIGHT about 'pets the owner treats like kids'....
Leave your dog home unless your destination is an explicitly dog friendly business.....
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u/KittensPumpkinPatch May 04 '26
Because dog people act like dogs are better than kids. They're really not. They bark, growl, chew on my stuff (neighbors won't leash their dogs outside), AND they might kill me. Dog people and people with kids = disruption and destruction. Dogs just have the added "benefit" of possibly killing you.
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u/Secret_Asparagus_783 May 04 '26
Where do you live? In my town there are leash laws that require that any dog out in public must be restrained unless at a dedicated "dog park " and heavy fines are levied against the offending person-in-charge.
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u/Lucky_Philosopher_55 May 04 '26
lol my city has those too but nobody follows them. I wish it was enforced.
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u/Emotional_Horse_4955 May 08 '26
Right? Like can we acknowledge one’s short coming without the whataboutism?
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u/Novel-Sprinkles3333 May 04 '26
People bring up children when someone tries to talk about dogs, too.
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u/mutantraniE May 04 '26
Here we have something called ”baby carriage cinema” which is showings just for people with young kids. If you go to one of those without having a young child then that’s on you.
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u/Secret_Asparagus_783 May 04 '26
Often these showings are late morning/early afternoon on weekdays where there would be fewer "regular" customers and it's a way for the theatre to make a little more money. They'll have a designated parking area for strollers, have formula and baby food available at the concession stand, free diapers in the rest room etc.
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u/I_wet_my_plants259 May 04 '26
This sounds like it would be amazing for parents and childless people. Parents can go with their kids and then childless people can go see their r rated movies in peace
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u/sk8tergater May 04 '26
If parents have time off to do this, then yes! I’d love to take my little guy to the movies, I love going to movies. But he’s 2, and well. He’s 2.
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u/I_wet_my_plants259 May 04 '26
Yea I get that haha, one of my best friends just had a baby and we’ve been taking him to church theater productions and stuff cause they usually have a ‘family room’ or ‘relief room’ that we can go to when he gets fussy.
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u/WinstonWilmerBee May 04 '26
As a childless person who genuinely loves kids (but doesn’t want any) I would enjoy going to this just to be a helper and watch kids experience their first movie.
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u/Flimsy-Opportunity-9 May 04 '26
We went to these on maternity/paternity leave! They were amazing. Lights were up, movie sound was slightly quieter. Saw quite a few parents with children with special needs as well. Since it wasn’t expected to be silent, and the movie was a bit more sensory-friendly, it is really nice.
I’m very pro: only kids at kid movies or kid screenings.
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u/NicholasScratchy May 04 '26
Please run for president in my country and create those cinemas for us. Please I’m begging
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u/Secret_Asparagus_783 May 04 '26
Once upon a time, churches had "crying rooms" or "family rooms" where you took kids too young to stay quiet during the whole service. It was an enclosed space near the sanctuary with a large window and speaker system. Parents could watch the proceedings and tend to the babies without disturbing the rest of the congregation. For some reason these are seldom seen in modern churches. So the entire audience - and the clergy - must put up with screaming kids (not their fault) and clueless parents who won't silence them or remove them (their responsibility).
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u/NicholasScratchy May 04 '26
I had no idea this existed. Why are we going backwards? Yea no sir/ma’am please run for president and fix it. I appreciate you
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u/BaddestReligion May 04 '26
When I was younger my church had them because it was a Catholic church and the mass was supposed to be somber. My parents loved it because they would bring toys for us and we would chill and play. They even had ushers being them Communion so they didn't have to leave us in the room.
I have since quit going to church, but some of my coworkers go to a mega church in our area and they don't have them because everyone is supposed to be up singing, dancing, and interacting with each other so they want the kids to be apart of that. This doesn't go for every church, but alot of the newer and more progressive churches in the area do that. Mostly the non-denominational ones.
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u/Timely-Flatworm7757 May 04 '26
My church growing up had this, I remembered it as "the nursery" but this comment made me remember it was actually called the Family Room. That church also broadcast the Sunday sermon on local radio, and my dad and his buddy ran the "Radio Room" and did the broadcasts. My dad had a "radio voice" he used to intro the sermons, I didn't even recognize it as him the few times I heard it. 😅 Guessing these have fallen out of fashion since it's a bit of a pain in the ass to wire a sound system, but these days they could do it with Bluetooth!
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u/PuddingOld8221 May 04 '26
I remember this. But it was mostly to get spanked if you were not quiet. It was very hard me as a child to be a statue for long periods of time.
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u/Secret_Asparagus_783 May 04 '26
I have never understood why someone would hit a kid for crying, which just makes matters worse!
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u/Fine-Following-7949 May 04 '26
My parents called it the crying room, probably the whole church did. I just know that I was even too much for that. My mom used to stay home with me while my dad took my older siblings. I didn't get off scot free, though, because she used to make me watch Lawrence Welk with her instead. (I'm old!)
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u/tigerowltattoo May 04 '26
Yep. I remember these. During mass, if a baby started crying, and the parent didn’t leave immediately, the usher would firmly prompt them to do so.
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u/PetulantPersimmon May 04 '26
When my baby cried in church, our priest paused the service to emphasize that all of God's children were welcome, and that a child crying was no disruption. (I, meanwhile, was mortified and hustling to get him settled and happy ASAP.) After the service, several of the parishioners also made a point to stop and reassure me that it was a happy sound and a pleasure to hear.
It's been the same at any church I've attended, although you bet your britches I'd have been parked in a nursery/family room at the first opportunity if it were available.
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u/seifd May 04 '26
Not at mine. The nursery was in a room that only had windows to the outdoors. Parents drop their kids off with a couple volunteers to play during the service and picked them up when the service was over. The volunteers listened to the service through a speaker.
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u/GhostInTheEcho May 04 '26
Oh I used to work in the church daycare!! I never had to go to services (sorry, atheist here) and I got to hang out with kids and play and color, it was great!
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u/MelonCallia May 04 '26
These still exist! At least for Catholic churches. I used to sit in them anyway (when there's space) because it was closer to the front (can see better) and easier to get in and out of.
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u/alienhailey May 10 '26
The old movie theater in my small town had this. I absolutely think this should be a norm for every movie theater today.
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u/Impossible_Dress_621 May 13 '26
I wish this was a thing at my church. This past weekend I went to my cousin's first communion and there was this kid walking between the seat he was sitting at and the seat his grandma was sitting at, and then there were like 15 crying babies. Like man do these parents not have babysitters?
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u/arousedcorvid May 04 '26
How often are you seeing children running rampant? I wouldn’t say I never see it but it’s honestly really rare, rare compared to how many times I see it on Reddit.
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u/AvocadoElectronic904 May 04 '26
I fully agree. Where are people going?? I am 35 and can’t think of an occasion where I’ve been in public and someone’s child pissed me off so bad I remembered it
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u/DingbatsUnite May 04 '26
i’m literally an activity instructor for kids 3 months-5years and a pediatric dental assistant in a decent sized city. i have no idea what these redditors are talking about. it just isn’t my experience with children or their parents.
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u/subarcwelder May 04 '26
When I tell you I vividly remember my mother stopping in her tracks, removing every item from the cart and dragging my ass back to the car after acting up in the grocery store. Dropped me right back off at home to my dad and she left again to continue her shopping.
I wish parents still did this lmao
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u/Pixelp0p May 05 '26
That's how my parents were too, my sister and I learned to cut it out so we could actually go places.
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u/elitejackal May 04 '26
I don’t hate kids, I think they are cool. I’m also childfree by choice, but on god I’m tired of people letting their kids run rampant in theatres, pubs and other places mostly adults go to. PLEASE teach your kids how to be considerate otherwise someone else will.
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u/NicholasScratchy May 04 '26
They always think we hate kids. We don’t. We hate people that refuse to parent their kids and then bring them outside to run a muck because they have no home training
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u/Happily-Incorrect May 09 '26
I'm a parent and I hate these parents so much. It's not that fucking hard to stop your kids being pricks, but you can't do it in the moment. It takes being constantly aware of what behaviour you're modelling for them throughout their early lives.
My daughter and I frequently go to a place that has wild birds walking around the grounds, and the number of parents that don't bat an eyelid at their kids chasing the chickens/peacock etc is baffling.
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u/Mclurkerrson May 04 '26
It's always so uncomfortable because some of these parents just expect everyone to smile and think the behavior is adorable. I never acted like that as a kid and wouldn't have been anywhere if I couldn't handle staying with my family and keeping my hands to myself. It's really awkward having a kid dance around expecting your attention when you just want to have a chill happy hour with your friend and vent about work/dating/etc.
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u/Background-Edge-2243 May 04 '26
These same parents will complain that they have no village to help them raise their children. And then will cry about how someone out in public has the audacity to step in and do an ounce of social parenting to teach a child how to act in public. Like, pick one Debra. Either you want a village or you don't
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u/maplestriker May 05 '26
I have kids and I couldnt agree more. Also you know who really has to suffer under these selfish assholes? Other children. If my kids politely wait their turn that often means they wont get to go at all.
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u/WinstonWilmerBee May 04 '26
It stresses me out sometimes. I come from a large extended family and I like kids (but don’t want my own). I see kids doing stuff where I know they’ll get hurt or need adult guidance. But I don’t know them and unless they’re literally about to be harmed, it’s not appropriate for me to interfere. So I’m just sweating buckets wanting SOMEONE to tell the kid to stop jumping on the wall and don’t fight with your sister…
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u/SquareTaro3270 May 04 '26
I’m gonna say, I do think kids below a certain age should be restricted from going into R-rated movie theaters, even with parent’s consent.
I watched someone bring their 1 year old to see Oppenheimer. Kid was screaming and making noises because they were bored for most of the film, followed by their parents whisper-screaming at them to sit down and shut up. And then when the movie got loud the kid, predictably, started crying and screaming and asking to leave.
I really don’t care if you couldn’t find a sitter or if you think your 2 year old is the “special mature” kid who can handle an R-rated film. Leave them at home!
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u/SenAtsu011 May 04 '26
I've brought my kids (5 years old) to an upper scale restaurant before, but that's only because I was absolutely certain that they were excited about the food and the experience, and that they were capable of behaving appropriately.
Parents that throw caution to the wind and bring the most out-of-control manic 4 year old to an upper scale restaurant, and they KNOW that the kid will misbehave, then the kid is not the problem; the parents are, and they're ruining it for everyone else.
On the outset, I don't care if kids are there, as long as they behave appropriately to the situation.
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u/NicholasScratchy May 04 '26
To be clear, the kid is not the problem to me. It’s the parents who failed at teaching the kids how to conduct themselves. Thank you for being the parent that properly taught your kid how to behave.
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u/Secret_Asparagus_783 May 04 '26
I will allow CATS to be welcome anywhere - because they 're always better behaved than many dogs & kids!
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u/VitaniLioness May 04 '26
Me and my husband don't get to go out very much, but I just reached a milestone in my project, so my husband saved up to treat me to a fancy dinner.
While waiting for our food, a family was seated right behind us, and their kid was just shrieking high pitched the entire time. Completely ruined the experience, as I deal with chronic migraines.
At least we saved a little bit of money, as we don't tip well to anyone who seats young loud children near quiet couples obviously on a date or special occasion.
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u/elegant_road551 May 05 '26
This was our experience for Valentine's Day. Michelin star restaurant, 8-course tasting menu, fancy dress code, etc. And there was a screaming baby 3 tables away that no one did anything about. Just stay home or get a sitter!
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u/MyEyeOnPi May 04 '26
I’m not sure that was super fair to the server though- if all their tables are booked, who decides which unlucky party gets seated next to the unruly child?
I guess the unfair part is that restaurants should kick someone out if they have a screaming kid, but I can see them being afraid of being sued over it.
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u/VitaniLioness May 04 '26 edited May 04 '26
It's not like we didn't leave a tip at all. We just didn't tip as much, since the experience was bad. Just the standard 15% vs we normally save up to be able to go around 30%
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u/Impossible-Prune-649 May 04 '26
I was with you until you didn't tip well because of it. You know servers don't choose where people sit, right? Especially at a fancy restaurant. The host does that, even in shitholes like Applebees.
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u/VitaniLioness May 05 '26
Huh, well then the host also served us and was unable to move our seating when we requested it.
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u/genx21me918 May 04 '26
Agreed. Events, some venues, clubs, bars a lot of places are 18+. I don't understand why people feel the need to bring minors , especially infants to these places. Not everyone 🙋wants to be around children. I've read posts about no kid weddings and parties and parents pitch a fit. SNS get a baby sitter or just stay home .
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u/Different_Car106 May 04 '26 edited May 04 '26
I have kids; 4 of them. They're all teenagers/adults now but I'm with this.
There are some places kids should not be and if you really want to bring them, you better make damn sure they're well behaved enough to be there.
I was very strict about decorum and appropriate behavior in public spaces from the time they were old enough to understand please and thank you. I also used common sense and didn't bring my kids to places I knew were inappropriate for them at that time.
It's not hard. People just need to actually parent their children instead of finding everything "so cute" when they're little.
Edit: And my kids have always given side eye to misbehaved children. And then I get a look like "you'd never let us get away with that"
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u/Worldly-Homework-323 May 04 '26
I hate the parents who don’t actually parent their kids but claim they’re doing “gentle parenting”. They’re actually doing “zero parenting” and it shows. Get your disgusting feral offspring away from me and my children and stop giving a bad name to kids and families who actually understand appropriate situations to exist in.
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u/yelhmoo May 05 '26
My general rule is that if my kid is going to react in a way that makes me want to anxiously combust, we’re staying home. I have a 2 year old runner, and I have a 7 year old crier. I don’t even want to deal with that, let alone force someone else to handle it. It’s not like people are kind about it either. People are downright awful when it comes to normal developmental issues (like a toddler having a tantrum).
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u/psychologicallyblue May 05 '26
I think the reason that there is so much backlash against having kids in public spaces now is because in recent years there has been an increase in parents who don't parent.
I've seen some crazy stuff in the last decade or so that I don't remember seeing prior to that. Maybe it's cellphone-related, maybe it's the trend towards permissive parenting, maybe parents are more stressed, maybe kids now are genuinely developmentally delayed because they're not socialized, or maybe all of it. But it's definitely noticeable. These days I appreciate the few parents that I see who actually teach rules and appropriate behavior because it's so rare. Those kids are no problem in public spaces, but the other ones? Not so much.
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u/Kitty-lvr1706 May 05 '26
Back in the day I was a receptionist in a hair salon and this one woman would come in for a full color/cut appointment that would take 2-3 hours. She lived in a very swanky neighborhood and was definitely well off, but would bring her two young children to her appointment and basically ignored them and I was stuck having to babysit them. The salon for a lot of people is a relaxing escape and her kids were so unruly. My boss wouldn't say anything to her about it because he didn't want to alienate her or lose her business but it was so entitled and rude.
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u/lotusscrouse May 04 '26
I went to see the movie Relay last year with my girlfriend.
Some lady came in with 2 kids. The kids spoke out loud for the first 20 minutes of the movie and she did nothing to stop it.
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u/dumpstrkeepr May 04 '26
I misread that as "cheese tournament" at first...that would be sick.
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u/Ill_Painter5868 May 04 '26
I wish Panera had adults only hours, nothing worse than screaming children running past you over and over, which is unsafe for both them and everyone else, while their parents drool on their phones not moving a muscle let alone bat an eye at what is happening
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u/mostlymagical May 04 '26
I once went to a gangster museum tour where someone brought a gaggle of 3 kids under 10. letting them scream during the presentation as well as bang around some prop slot machine until everyone’s nerves were fried
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u/SailorElsa___0005 May 04 '26
I’m glad you remembered that kids movies are the exception. Some people enjoy kid movies for nostalgic reasons, and sometimes they forget it was intended for kids. Super Mario Galaxy movie isn’t the opera!
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u/NicholasScratchy May 04 '26
Yea i mean if i go watch barbie at the cinema then I just have to suck it up man. Lol it is what it is
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u/holdingittogether77 May 04 '26
Heck I know plenty of asshole adults, usually way more in most spaces then bad kids.
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u/seifd May 04 '26
I think movie theater depends on the movie. If you're watching The Super Mario Galaxy Movie, you should expect kids in the theater. However, there should not be any if I'm seeing Mortal Kombat II.
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u/TopConsideration7795 May 04 '26
The Mario movie had plenty of 4-5 years olds and they were completely fine. If it was a toddler then I’d say yah but using a 4 year old is a bad example. Also majority of parents are not bringing their babies to upscale restaurants or movies. So you’re complaining about something that rarely happens.
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u/NicholasScratchy May 04 '26
Maybe it’s rare where you live. Where I live it’s all the time
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u/NicholasScratchy May 04 '26
I’ve only heard horror stories but never seen the real dangers of kids being at skateparks. But based on the stories that is probably a good idea
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u/void_method May 04 '26
Some parents aren't very good at being parents, and the fact that we allow them to continue without the slightest bit of pushback is shameful.
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u/yung_yttik May 04 '26
As a toddler mom, I would never even voluntarily want to take my kid to the movies, or to an upscale restaurant. I’m not sure why people insist, and I’m totally pro-child in public spaces.
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u/MinaWearsGold May 04 '26
I would gladly pay more money to places that were childfree. Especially airlines.
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u/Jazzlike_Term210 May 04 '26
I swear I never see more unruly children with dumber parents than at the airport.
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u/Necessary_Net_7829 May 04 '26
I remember years ago when someone brought a hand held infant to 1408. My first thought upon seeing that was if the movie was really that important.
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u/Weak-Bumblebee9978 May 04 '26
I posted yesterday in the apartment living sub about being upset that a family with a screaming 2 year old is moving in below me. They got angry with me. They are the same people who let their kids ruin the movie, etc. I hate entitled parents and I hate their snotty, loud, entitled kids.
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u/eternity_cure May 04 '26
It’s parental judgment to take a 7 year old kid into a rated R movie but I’m definitely judging them.
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u/FullComparison9089 May 05 '26
I remember for my birthday one year I went to visit one of my friends and she has two small kids. She wanted to take me out to a nice restaurant for my birthday, but she wanted to bring her kids along, and her oldest was already acting out. I was embarrassed just talking about it in the car. Thank God, she gave in to her kid and asked him where he wanted to go to dinner after I said I really didn’t care. He chose a pizza place, and I have never seen more poorly behaved children in my life. I was so glad we didn’t go to a nice restaurant because even at the kid friendly place, I was mortified and people were staring. I felt so bad for the servers, and my friend was completely oblivious.
Gentle parenting is often really just permissive parenting.
Edited: talk to text lol
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u/bonniemick May 05 '26
I still remember how many kids there were at the 10pm Saturday showing of 8 Mile the weekend it opened (was in metro Detroit so it was a Whole Thing), and yeah, no, pay a fucking babysitter.
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u/AshligatorMillodile May 05 '26
Meh, I figure as long as the kid is following the rules and there is nothing illegal happening kids should be allowed. Anyone regardless of age should be required to follow the rules or have to leave. My kids are well behaved and if they were having a meltdown in a more refined setting I would take them away until settled. People can be terrible at any age!
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u/PessimisticPeggy May 05 '26
I'll be a first time mom soon and I 100% agree with this! Can we also add breweries to the list?
There are so many family friendly spaces, people with young children need to realize that NOT EVERYWHERE is appropriate for your small kids!
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u/SilverRJMC May 05 '26
I love theater. I like going out to eat. But my son (11) has severe ADHD and issues with impulse control and social/emotional disregulation. We recently went to see Dogman the Musical, and we’ll get dinner at fast food restaurants or places like Chili’s, but he just can’t handle some things. If I tried to take him to “grown-up” entertainment or restaurants he would hate it and he’d bother the other guests. How could anyone call doing so anyway anything but selfish?
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u/generic_queer_guy May 04 '26
I remember being in summer camp (elementary school age) and there was one kid that would go to R rated movies with his dad. It definitely messed him up a bit. If you wanna show your kid a non-kids movie, watch it at home so you can skip parts or turn it off.