it's fine to have high standards as long as you're not disrespectful about them

[u/[deleted]]

[u/Tiny_Confection2017]

You can have whatever standards , no matter how offensive or unrealistic

[u/CricketNo7666]

I am a man in my fifties. My peers and friends are all generally “older” as well.

I dont know a single one parroting the batshit nonsense that our wives being our age means we are losers. What corners of the internet are you skipping real life to hide in to think this an issue? Seriously. Touch grass.

[u/CricketNo7666 → u/[deleted]]

There are freak exceptions to every rule. stop thinking a tiny fraction of a percent is the rule to reference instead of a freak exception to ignore.

ETA what I mean is this. We do not see Jeffrey Dahmer and then pretend it is a hot take to say “people shouldn’t eat other people”. No shit. Not a hot take. It is a one on a billion thing and already not the norm of what happens - so don’t talk like it does.

[u/CricketNo7666 → u/[deleted]]

I’m not sure what part of… That is not a hot take… That is difficult for you to understand, but it is beyond your capability.

Have the day you can manage and enjoy the echo chambers

[u/CricketNo7666 → u/[deleted]]

No, the point of your post is a similarly ridiculous premise that every woman out there is looking to bat up out of little league like they are Babe Ruth.

Could you possibly spew more red cell tripe if you tried? I can’t possibly think so, but I’m sure whatever little corners of then net you dwell on keep telling you it is a universal.

[u/Justtrying15]

You are welcome to want what you want. Just as you said so long as you aren’t a jerk about it.
However some folks will find it to be an uphill battle. Can it happen? Of course. Is it likely that the gorgeous/handsome person who has their life together will go for the loser who doesn’t take care of themselves at all? Not super likely.
At the end of the day work on yourself a little. Just a little!

[u/qinlpan]

I agree, people can have any standard but they also have to be realistic. The chances of a bottom 50% percent person ending up with a top 1% person is 0 lol.

[u/vivacioussam]

Even moreso than that, anyone can hold literally any standards that they want, so long as they accept that they may not find someone that meets them.

I hate the numbering system, but it makes the point. If you’re like, a 3/10, broke, socially awkward, and live with your mom, it’s totally fine if you want a 10/10 rich supermodel that will cook and clean for you like your mom does.

But if that’s your standard, you have to accept that the 10/10 supermodel has hers, and you might not meet them.

You’ll have to make a choice of whether it’s more important that your partner meets every single one of the standards you’ve set, and that you’ll be alone until you find them, or whether it’s more important to have a partner that meets some of those standards, and have a relationship.

Neither answer is wrong, though.

[u/swingorswole]

i think the issue isn't that people have high standards, it's that they have standards for the wrong things.

when i hear somebody say, man or woman, that "people just aren't meeting my standards.." usually their standards are about things that have no value long-term.

[u/mikelown]

On the micro, one person has unrealistically high standards, thats on them

On the macro, everyone has unrealistically high standards, it becomes a societal issue

[u/Inspector_Spoonman]

I don’t know about all these internet terms but I agree 😭

I do think a lot of people would be happier if they lowered some of their standards though.

[u/Rorill → u/Inspector_Spoonman]

I think a lot of people have misplaced standard rather than too high.
They will accept awful behavior if the person is "hot" or just not to be alone.

[u/Inspector_Spoonman → u/Rorill]

I totally agree. It’s unfortunate.

[u/Inspector_Spoonman → u/[deleted]]

Very true. It is sad to see some people hold themselves back because of such superficial reasons however. It is their life, if that’s what they prefer, they can do that. I do think people would generally benefit from analyzing where their preferences actually came from.

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[u/Keaty213]

I totally agree with this, why is it their business who is in a relationship with each other if they're not being affected by it? If you think a celebrity's boyfriend is ugly, it's a good thing it's not you're not the one dating him.

[u/lmaooooonah]

It all boils down to just don't be an asshole. It's fine to have your preferences, whatever they may be. But don't then use those preferences to be a dick. Just because someone doesn't match your personal dating preferences doesn't give you the right to be awful.

[u/CranberryOdd7670]

You can have standards but don’t complain if people don’t want to meet your standards ether

[u/EveryonesANurse]

I don't understand

Unattractive but otherwise seemingly harmless man

[u/EveryonesANurse → u/[deleted]]

But why say
otherwise

[u/EveryonesANurse → u/[deleted]]

Yes

[u/vanillacreamwafer]

I agree its fine to want someone whos conventionally more attractive than you are as long as you only blame yourself if you cant attract someone that matches your high standards.

[u/SuperPollo39]

Women when they have standards: just don’t date men who don’t meet them

Men when they have standards: hate women who don’t meet them and think they shouldn’t allowed to exist

[u/Kamikoozy → u/SuperPollo39]

🤡

[u/brahbrahpewpew]

I agree. I think people are entitled to have whatever standards they want and I don’t think it’s fair for people outside of a relationship to judge it. If they’re happy together, they’re happy together! You don’t know them or what their relationship looks like so just leave them be.

[u/HeartonSleeve1989]

I think it's fine to want a 10/10 if you're also a 10/10 or at least an 8/10, people should try for their looks match mostly.

[u/Justtrying15 → u/HeartonSleeve1989]

More so it’s the losers. Why do so many people who do nothing and want to be given everything think they should just get it? Does it happen? Indeed. Is it something to just sit around and wait for? Nope.

[u/brahbrahpewpew → u/HeartonSleeve1989]

But why lol. Why aren’t people just allowed to like whoever they wanna like? Although I do agree that people who want someone better looking than them should not complain if those people aren’t interested. But I still think they’re entitled to try to go for them lmao

[u/Mela_ninja → u/brahbrahpewpew]

Plus straight up illogical.

Are we going off societies scale or personal scale?

Your 10/10 might not look like my 10/10.

Also this weird sense of “fairness” is funny. It’s more about what you want and what that other person wants, not assigned relationships.

[u/sonofvc → u/HeartonSleeve1989]

I don’t disagree with the concept, but when being short and very fit still puts you in the same dating pool as someone overweight, it’s unfortunate.

[u/HeartonSleeve1989 → u/sonofvc]

Depends on the appearance, if you look like Tom Cruise or Tom Holland you'd rate above a fat person.

[u/sonofvc → u/HeartonSleeve1989]

Yes, and while I’m not saying dating should be fair, it’s a level of effort put in that seems disproportionate.