So a lot of men are guilty of seeing a girl with a full face of makeup done to appear "natural" and think "See women look the best without makeup! I'd never judge a woman for not wearing any!" Which of course is kind of hilarious. Women poke fun at us for this and I don't think they're wrong to do so.

However, I feel like I have noticed a lot of women doing the exact same thing when it comes to the male body and muscles. I have seen a lot of women pointing to a man who clearly has spent half a decade in the gym building muscle, probably on a strict diet for the entire time, probably goes to the gym religiously, but he won't have a full 6 pack and might be at 18% or so body fat. Then they'll say "see this is what women mean when we say we don't like gym bros, we don't need huge bulky muscles like body builders" the entire time, they're talking about an off season body builder.

It's just funny to me.

Watching a group of gals prance around going "haha look what I get to do freely just because I'm hetero" in front a crowd of people who had to fight tooth and nail to get to do that same thing not 12 years ago is so distasteful and disrespectful. You want a space where you can dance and men won't touch you? Go camping.

Edit: Wow, 3k upvotes?! Thank you everyone so much for all your interaction, your support, all the karma. I've never had a post take off like this before. Thank you.

Now that traffic is dying down, let me say I'm sorry I couldn't keep up with all the comments. There were too many. Of the ones I read, honestly I was surprised by all the misogyny masquerading as outrage. The post was specifically about Bachelorette parties, yet so many people took this to meaning banning all women from gay bars. It's honestly weird learning how some of you apparently feel like all women have to get married, that they can't just go to the gay bars to hang and have fun not as a Bachelorette, and then tried projecting that to sound like you were defending them against me, when i never said that. Women are all individuals. Maybe try talking to one some time instead of trying to play the white knight.

Another common comment was "what about lesbians?" Show me one lesbian who wants to have their Bachelorette party at a gay bar and then I'll entertain your argument. I saw one asking about bisexual girls, and fair, I forgot to take them into account. Gay marriage was their fight too.

And that's what this post was about: marriage equality is still relatively new. So many people took this as an "i must hate women" post. Yall need to apologize to your English Lit teachers for failing reading comprehension. Some of you didn't even know what I meant by the 12 year mark. I can only assume those commenters were straight and didn't know since it didn't apply to them, but literacy applies to everyone.

And finally the fixation on the camping quip at the end from some of you. My apologies, I was unaware every single sentence ever uttered in a post had to be 100% serious, no hyperbole, no jest, no exasperation. One can only hope every single one of your posts follows that same rule.

Emphasis on in public.

I was eating brunch with some friends at a restaurant when I, a grown adult in my 30s, said "fuck that shit" to something my friend said. It should be noted that all of us had cursed at some point during this conversation, but we weren't cursing like sailors. Just normal women in their 30s who aren't afraid of words.

There was a family sitting across from us, and the mother abruptly stood up and started waving a waitress down. One came over, and the mother pointed directly at me, and asked if I could be removed for being inappropriate. The waitress asked both their table and ours what happened, and then told the mother that she wouldn't be removing us just for some casual cursing.

In response, the mother grabbed her children, pretty roughly mind you, and escorted them out before they were done eating. Her poor husband looked on as if this was not the first time she had done this.

My gripe is that it's not my job to protect your precious baby's ears from the f bomb in a public setting.

Again, we weren't cursing in every single word of every sentence, but we were talking like the adults we are. We weren't being inappropriate about it; it's not like we kneeled down to get in the 5 year old's face and said fuck shit damn hell at them or anything. And honestly, if they had come over and politely asked us to tone it down, we probably would have. Instead, she jumped right to trying to get us kicked out.

Some people are just too delicate for society, imo.

EDIT: Thanks for proving my take to be truly hot!

A few blanket statements:

I don't care what others think of me, it's an exercise in futility. You will never make 100% of the people around you happy, so I don't go out of my way to try. The people I care about are good with me, and I'm good with that.

This place was NOT a family friendly establishment. I think the three kids in question may have been the only ones there at all, and I didn't even see them until I had a woman pointing her finger in my face and yelling at wait staff. Think, children allowed but not entirely welcome. It's not like we were cursing up a storm in the children's museum.

I have been and will continue to report comments that are name calling. You can think what you want of an adult who chooses to curse in public, but calling me a degenerate, trash, a shithead, etc. are really not more mature of you. Pot, kettle, and all that.

Happy Sunday, ya'll!

EDIT 2: the way ya'll are foaming at the mouth to call me a cunt over a few curse words is really something. Just gotta say.

I feel it’s very obvious but this runs in the same vein as them calling any guy that doesn’t fit their standards “gay” or a “ponk”. Seen multiple women calling their ex “twinks” because they were bad people and it’s just so weird.

Make no mistake, 4chan is a colossal garbage dump and reaches untold levels of toxicity. However, the same applies to Reddit, and there is a key difference that makes 4chan slightly less bad, which is it's honesty.

4chan is completely honest about it's vile nature, the users there will simply call you every racial slur in the book and tell you jump off a cliff, there is no pretense of being morally better than you, 4chan's anonimity and lack of individual reputation encourages full honesty from the users, they will simply tell what is in their minds in the heat of the moment, it's honest, straightforward vitriol and shitflinging, they simply fucking hate you and there's nothing beyond that, you can have literally any opinion, even stereotypical Reddit opinions, and the jannies will not bother banning you for wrongthink or anything like that, they only delete shit for off Topic and other autistic reasons. To deal with 4chan, you simply have to accept the sludge until you grow desensitized, it's a place that actually challenges your sensibilities with no hesitation.

On Reddit, the community and upvote systems are specifically designed to encourage the creation of echo Chambers, toxic positivity, and moralistic performance. If you slightly disagree with the sub consensus, be ready to have a bunch of smug pedants tell you why you are a heckin bad person and morally inferior to the enlighted Reddit hivemind. If your content gets enough downvotes, it literally gets hidden, because disagreement is LE BAD or something, we must keep the users happy with their slop and never challenge them, and of course, you can literally get autobanned from random subs you never visited for interacting in any way with rival subs, Reddit moderators are actively encouraged to abuse power by the website's very design.

Mcdonalds? Sure bring em.
A waterpark? Great, let the kids play.
Church? Ok cool everyone is welcome.
Planes and trains? Fine, we don’t have a choice, you need to travel.

A movie theatre????
A quiet upper scale restaurant???
A tennis match at Wimbledon???
A chess tournament event???
Golfing???

If they are around the age of 7-10 and well behaved then it’s fine. Otherwise, LEAVE YOUR KIDS AT HOME. Please stop trying to make us all suffer for your personal choices and then cry when you get kicked out for the disruption.

I’m really emphasising the movie theatre one. (Kids movies excluded) Why are you bringing your 4yo to watch Sinners? There is absolutely zero justification to bring a child to the cinema for that. Don’t even bring them in for Marvel movies. They don’t know or care what is happening and we don’t want to hear crying/giggling/footsteps while watching. Please spare us I BEG

Edit: a real sensitive parent sent my username to the reddit self harm bot as a false claim that I am suicidal. This is just one example of parents doing anything but looking in the mirror because they can’t handle being called out on being a terrible parent. We don’t want your kids around because you don’t raise them correctly… and it shows.

I feel like you guys are really annoying when it comes to this subject. Babies are going to cry. A lot of people like to say well why are you taking a baby on a plane? you don’t know what’s going on, maybe they’re flying to another state for a funeral or someone’s in the hospital. I never judge people who have crying babies because being on a plane as a grown adult woman is scary enough imagine what a baby‘s feeling.
Now if it’s like a toddler who is just running up and down the halls and the parents aren’t doing anything that is one thing but babies can’t tell you what they want so they’re gonna cry! And 9/10 the parents are more stressed out than you. But seriously if it’s not big of an issue, just bring headphones or don’t fly like I don’t understand why this is so annoying to some people hahah.
Again, i do understand if it’s like a toddler or a child kicking your seat running screaming that is ANNOYING especially if the parents aren’t doing anything. I hate parents like this bc why aren’t you disciplining your child 😩

Honestly, one of the biggest things I struggle with in pro lifers claiming abortion is murder is the whole rape exception thing.

If you genuinely believe abortion is literally murdering an innocent child, why would it suddenly become acceptable because the woman was raped? The embryo/fetus didn’t magically become a different species because its conception involved rape. If killing it is murder, then it would still be murder.

A huge proportion of people who identify as pro-life support rape exceptions. In a 2025 poll, 73% of self-identified pro life respondents supported exceptions for rape, incest or saving the pregnant woman’s life.

If the crime is really killing an innocent baby, why does whether the woman consented to sex change whether that killing is acceptable?
If you say abortion is okay when she was raped, but not okay when she willingly had sex, you’re saying that pregnancy is an acceptable consequence you have to endure because you chose to have sex and that sounds a hell of a lot less like protecting babies and a lot more like policing women’s sexual behaviour.

Once the argument becomes about whether or nor you consented to sex, we’re no longer talking about protecting a baby, we’re talking about using someone’s body as a consequence for having sex.

Generally speaking men tend to accept a lot less when it comes to dating. It makes sense why they've sort of checked out on the stereotypical motions of it.

Dating "should" be about two people getting to know each other while having fun doing mutually enjoyable activities but social media has sort of torched that.

If we are objective much of the "labor" of dating is put on men. It takes a lot to face this sort of rejection after putting in so much emotional, physical and financial effort.

Over time if you are "successful" in dating a person the amount of reciprocation you actually receive is abysmal. Not all women but a lot operate under this subconscious belief that their presence is enough. Not taking into account that presence is often fixed on what you are doing for her.

Most men have never been asked out or taken on dates even by their bonafide girlfriends. The "bare minimum" that certain groups demand is often too heavy to offer for the men they claim to like. This doesnt even touch on simple things like compliments and encouragement.

Women tend to unintentionally consume a lot of emotional space in dating. This overtime causes men to check out and be less willing to continually put themselves out there to face lack or even rejection.

Edit: It says A LOT that I didnt utter a single negative word about women but many of the commentators are trying to attack me personally and nothing actually mentioned in the post. Ive had women take me out on dates. The point is MOST men have never had that kind of reciprocation. If you truly believe pointing this out is incel behavior then you need help.

I mean, title. When i hear criticism to a Western country, I never hear a positive control against which Western countries should strive toward.

“Britain is racist!”

But never:

“Britain is racist! They should be more like Nigeria, South Africa, Saudi Arabia or China!”

And what’s more, as a paradox, because elites decided to make Western countries multicultural and multiracial, i think that’s resulted in more of these shrill calls of racism. I’m fairly certain the topic of racism is more commonly brought up in Britain than…Poland or Hungary. The latter two are certainly more derided for being racist than, say, Dubai, but probably less so than Britain.

And if the argument is that’s because Britain now has non-natives or non-indigenous populations, then it goes back to evaluation is only criticism and never comparative praise. Britain and much of the West are objectively more tolerant societies. Few if any societies will put immigrants and refugees in state funded housing. Especially if those refugees were from an entirely different continent.

There’s no self-awareness or fair assessment. The West’s generosity is re-paid with scorn. And it’s ironic, because there’s very solid data that European natives got a raw deal from multiculturalism.

Next time we hear how racist the West is, ask for a non-Western nation beacon of tolerance and inclusion we in the West should model ourselves towards.

I would conclude that we’re being racist or bigoted toward Western societies if we’re tacitly admitting everywhere else is worse. Call for Nigeria to be more inclusive before you take shots at Finland or Norway.

Plenty of women prefer 50/50 and actually do it. This isn't about them.

This is about the ones who expect the man to pay but when asked why, almost none of them just say "because I like it." Because I think many feel it's bad feminism or that it can come off as entitled. Instead it becomes about the man needing to make up for the cost of getting ready, or even some systemic injustice like the wage gap or the imbalance of pregnancy and birth. Or because men owe them something for historical reasons.

Okay. Cool. But let's test that.

If it's about the wage gap, what happens when she makes more than him? Does she pay? Because from what I've seen, the answer is usually no.

If it's about the beauty tax, then what about a guy who shows up in a nice suit and expensive cologne? Does she now feel obligated to pay? More likely the expectation for him to pay becomes even higher.

If it's about men having systemic advantages, what happens when he grew up in foster care? Or in the projects? Or was abused? Or has a disability? Or is a minority who's been screwed over his whole life? Does she grab the check? Does she say you've had it harder than me, this one's on me?

Probably not.

Here's the thing. Nobody actually cares that some women like being courted. That's fine. The dynamic isn't the problem.

The problem is pretending it's about fairness or justice when it's just a preference. You like a man who invests in you. You like feeling special. Say that. Own it.

I feel like every dude I talk to puts in no effort and just complains. They do the bare minimum and just swipe on a dating app if that. As a guy who’s average looking or slightly below average get some better fits, nicer pics, and find a hobby. Play to your strengths and hating a gender online is lame.

I just took a walk and passed by 2 houses which had these stupid, high frequency producing boxes in the front lawn, and theyre the WORST THING

Not only does it freak out every dog that walks past the damn lawn, but it also hurts like hell for anyone who passes who happens to have half decent hearing. And makes it so kids in the neighborhood sure as hell aren't wanna go outside, with that bs constantly in their ears

just because YOU cant hear the stupid and infuriating sound, doesnt mean that nobody else can.

As a guy I semi-frequently see the most blatant obvious male pick-me’s and nobody calls it out and at the same time people call out female pick-me’s a whole lot. SOME(!!!)women can’t seem to recognize they are being pandered to and misled it’s honestly crazy. It seems so obvious to me maybe because I’m a guy too?

The reason Europeans insist that the USA has no culture is rooted in deep belief that “true” Americans are only and can only white, fat, and trashy. And, because of that mindset, they don’t believe African-Americans and Natives and Latino immigrants are ‘real’ Americans, even though the USA’s culture is it’s diversity.

side note: when i say Americans in this situation, im referring to US citizens.

Let me give some examples:

Suede: That's literally leather.

Wave: Like waving hello at someone or the ocean waves??

Chicago: Babes thats a US State if I'm not wrong

Stormy: That's something you'd probably name a pet 💀

Techno Mechanicus: First off thats a disrespect to Techno, and second, WHY. JUST WHY!!

Trump: Enough said.

Imagine you grow up, end up in high school, they're calling attendance and they say one of these names. Like I'd personally be laughing my ass off.

What are other diabolical names you guys have heard? These are just a few I can remember right now.

Edit:

I did not expect this to get as much attraction as it did. So I would like to say a few things because I'm tired of replying.

Thank you to everyone who corrected my geographical error; I take full accountability for being uneducated. Given I'm not from USA, I've only ever heard of Chicago so I assumed it was a state.

Yea sure go ahead and make fun of shitty ceos or leaders be my guest. But does the ordinary man really have more power than the ordinary women in day to day life? The average white person compared to the average minority person? I don’t really think so. So if you direct jokes at them and say “punching up punching up it’s fine”, imo you’re just trying to be mean and covering it with a cloak of social acceptability.

”Historical oppression” isn’t a good reason for that too. My country and people were occupied and massacred by the Japanese during WWII, does that make it ok for me to throw atomic bomb jokes at random Japanese people now? Of course not.

Your partners past actually matters and you should know about it at least, before you get married or fully commit to each other.

This shouldn’t be a hot take, it should be common sense.

But someone will ask “women, what’s your type” and we’ll be like “kind, compassionate, authentic”.

And the next comment is always a guy adding “yea, but only if he’s 6’” or “only if he’s hot”…

It’s like duh, we also want to be attracted to the guys we are ummmm ATTRACTED to!

Groundbreaking I know!

And it doesn’t have to be height or a certain conventional attractive set of features, but yes; we like to be attracted to the person physically too.

There’s no reason this is a problem, we aren’t saying looks don’t matter… but we aren’t stating them bc A. It’s already implied by basic human nature, and B. If we mentioned looks that happen to even graze something like height, every man would be like “SEEEEEEEEEEE, I TOLD YOU ITS ALL THAT MATTERS!”

so you kinda force us to downplay looks bc some men lack the subtly and have the victim mentality that it’s all that matters

Edit: what I’m learning is that looks are subjective, well not when it comes to how women feel, we aren’t allowed to be subjective… we automatically HAVE to be attracted to conventionally attractive men and that’s it

Idk I just don’t understand why people find her so attractive? Can someone explain the hype over her? She looks like an average woman I wouldn’t even acknowledge in public..

I’m a woman. I proposed to my (now) husband.

I do not understand why some women spend so much time on tradition. Especially when they claim to be feminist. If you are a feminist, you see men and women as truly equal. There is no hierarchy, no gender roles, no polite society. If you are a feminist and you want to marry the man you are with, stop waiting.

Just ask him. You’ll either get a “yes, omg!” or a “no”. Either way, you can move on with the next chapter of your life.

I see so many women claiming a man “wasted” their life… but you wasted your own damn life girl. One question would have saved you any time you thought was wasted.

Woman up. Ask your man to marry you.

Every time an age gap comes up, say a 46 yo guy and a 33 y o woman there's a ton of comments about "they're at different points in life!" and all the rest. I don't think it's a big deal what gap there is after a certain age (around 25) and if people are worried about power dynamics in relationships , then these dynamics can also shift at a certain point. Let's say a 74 yo guy and a 25 yo woman. Who actually holds the power on this situation? The guy almost certainly has something else to grt a young girlfriend (money, fame, power, etc.) but the girlfriend also likely has a lot of autonomy and control too. I don't buy the idea that just becuase he's older, he's in control.

Tangent alert but related!

Take a look at the Russian spy (Butina) who was sent to the us to infiltrate the nra. She got very close to many high ranking Republicans within the org, and was sleeping with one of the guys. There was like a 30 year age gap. But clearly, she was the one taking advantage of him. To act like age is an accurate representation of power dynamics is nonsense. Especially with old dudes and young women, all she had to do was rub up on the guy and he was done.

Anyway. I feel like the current views on age gaps in relationships is weird and inaccurate.

Recently, there seems to be this narrative taking hold that dating needs to be made more fair or that the playing field needs to be leveled. My question is… why? Dating has never been fair, mating as a practice by all animals really isn’t “fair,” because someone getting picked means someone else isn’t.

I get it, people want love and connection is a human need, I totally get that. But unfortunately this is just the way dating has always been. In fact it used to be that the playing field was not equal for women and so men had an easier time finding wives because being a low earning spinster wasn’t seen as a great thing.

But I just don’t know how you could make it more “fair.” I mean it’s all basically up to people’s subjective opinions.

I constantly see Europeans (and sometimes even Americans) online talk about how stupid Americans are and how bad our education system is. But if you look at accomplishments in literally any field (mathematics, medicine, technology) the U.S laps everyone. Since WWII the U.S has more Nobel Laurates (390) than the rest of the world combined (335). We are quite literally at the forefront of nearly every field and no one else is even close. We are also home to 9 of the top 20 global universities and the number one global university MIT.

Are there stupid Americans? Yes, absolutely, but there are stupid people in every country. For some reason Europeans only like to talk about the stupid Americans and ignore our vast contributions to numerous fields.