r/NativePlantCirclejerk • • 21h ago

I’m about to do this in my city. All we have are Gray Pines and Oaks. Useless.

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40 Upvotes

r/NativePlantCirclejerk • • 6h ago

This is such a great idea! No more refreshing mulch every damn year, love this concept. I am thinking I'll start paving over the garden asap, and then just spray any cracks with roundup. Total conquest of the soil!

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31 Upvotes

r/NativePlantCirclejerk • • 11h ago

me forcing me new neighbors to tour my 100% native backyard

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33 Upvotes

r/NativePlantCirclejerk • • 1h ago

God forbid trees be ugly

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• Upvotes

r/NativePlantCirclejerk • • 7h ago

presented without comment

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14 Upvotes

r/NativePlantCirclejerk • • 8h ago

Problem solved

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8 Upvotes

Yes … It’s called Astroturf. It’s made in Georgia, USA. So, it’s Native. 😉


r/NativePlantCirclejerk • • 22h ago

Toe-mate-toe

7 Upvotes

What in the mate? So I was in the airport alright? And I looked up from my shattered pixel dungeon and saw a man selling tomatoes. Nothing strange? Well, the thing is, he wasn't selling any kind of toes. He was selling fruit! At an airport! With his toes! Granted they were in his shoes which were on the ground, but still! That's ridiculous! Purely abstruss!

So far, a very mundane story right? Well, this is where your life changes. So you know how toes have 5 feet on each thumb? Well, multiply 2, and that's what people usually mean when they say "more than I can count on both hands". Still not crazy yet? Well, yknow how tomatoes sometimes smell like feet? Well, it's because they have a chemical in them called "deftones" and it supposedly makes them smell like the deft ones.

Still not crazy yet? Well after I got on my plane, I heard a loud noise in my ear. From inside it. It sounded like bagpipes. Well what's that gotta do with tomatoes? Well, my theory is that it was a tiny little tomato playing the bagpipes in my ears. You may think I'm crazy, but it's the truth. I jumped out of my plane to prove it to those seagulls. Where in the fuck was I going to anyhow? Still don't know.

Well, now I'm in a field of Asiatic Honeysuckle and I'm kinda dead. Like dead dead 💀. I'm dead 💀👻. Do you smell tomatoes? I think I do. Smell ya later!!!!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣✌️✌️✌️✌️✌️✌️✌️✌️

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There is no picture. Sucker!!! Like tree of heave


r/NativePlantCirclejerk • • 1h ago

Mint Front Yard

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• Upvotes