Koala flirting is not exactly subtle 🐨

[u/RamonsRazor]

[u/RamonsRazor]

Source/Old mate's OF funnel: koalano_monaka

[u/Delicious-Plane-9030]

Fortitude Valley at 1AM 🤣

[u/Imaginary_Cattle_657 → u/Delicious-Plane-9030]

oh my god hahahahahahahahaha

[u/lemmingstone → u/Delicious-Plane-9030]

Can we send you an actual prize? This is the most accurate use of words I’ve seen all week.

[u/HeckBirb → u/Delicious-Plane-9030]

Take my freaking upvote, damn it! 🤣

[u/TaxiJab → u/Delicious-Plane-9030]

Fuck, is that what I looked like?!

[u/Elegant_One_5324 → u/TaxiJab]

I’m SO IMPRESSED!!! 🤩🐨

[u/Disastrous_Beach6196 → u/Delicious-Plane-9030]

Any particular better than the other ? Asking for a friend 😂😂

[u/ElectronicOvens]

Hearing Koalas during mating season is somewhat disturbing

[u/bobkattarsballbag → u/ElectronicOvens]

Especially if you're out camping in the middle of nowhere and you've never heard it before

[u/sassy_cheese564 → u/ElectronicOvens]

Fighting or fucking, it sounds pretty much the same. Sound like wild pigs or something.

[u/BrightPhilosopher531 → u/ElectronicOvens]

The females hang off the ends small branches 20m up so the male scared of branch snapping will stay away, she risks her own life to take him down to avoid mating.

[u/KillerRabbitsRule → u/BrightPhilosopher531]

Koala joeys are unceremoniously thrown off the branch if they don’t flee in time. Males will pursue the much smaller females aggressively until she submits; rape, while she is stressing over the well-being of her Joey. They often become injured then separated when fleeing from male attacks, which is why koala joeys are often found suffering and abandoned. Reason each Male koala are kept separate from females and smaller males in zoos as the public doesn’t like to see the violence. Ask the keepers!

Same with a colony of bats. Even if a female is paired with a partner other aggressive male bats in the colony will overpower and rape her if she finds herself alone while he feeds.

[u/3DMuslim → u/BrightPhilosopher531]

That sounds implausible and more like something human females made up because they ran out of trash talk to direct at human males.

[u/BrightPhilosopher531 → u/3DMuslim]

I love males, I’m married to one. But animal mating can be brutal, from the animal docos I’ve seen koalas & dolphins shocked me. (Former vet nurse decades ago and studied it too)

[u/3DMuslim → u/BrightPhilosopher531]

Yes, but the idea that female koalas risk their lives to cower on the edge of thing branches to avoid male rape is dumb. Female koalas are perfectly capable of defending themselves.

[u/ElectronicOvens → u/3DMuslim]

So it is something female Koalas do. Not saying its common, but it fleeing from unwanted male attention isn't a purely human thing.

Male Koalas are generally a lot bigger than females as well. Don't think they have fragile masculinity though 😉

[u/3DMuslim → u/ElectronicOvens]

I'm sure that they flee from aggressive males, esp in mating season. The part I was having a laugh at was the original comment saying they wait on the edge of thin branches, so that if a male does approach she can avoid mating through a murder suicide pact.

[u/ElectronicOvens → u/3DMuslim]

They go down branches that will bend in a hope to get away from males, this is something people have seen happen.

The fact straight you think murder suicide rather than what usually happens, the male leaves, makes it pretty clear why you are struggling with this concept.

[u/3DMuslim → u/ElectronicOvens]

It's not what I think it's what the original commenter thinks. Hence my amusement. It was worded like this: "she risks her own life to take him down to avoid mating". Which is a pretty funny framing of the behaviour.

[u/BrightPhilosopher531 → u/3DMuslim]

They can defend themselves somewhat but males are bigger and stronger, defending themselves over long periods is exhausting, it’s why some have been documented doing it, I understand it’s normal koala behaviour though.

[u/3DMuslim → u/BrightPhilosopher531]

It was the murder-suicide pact thing that made me laugh.

[u/Ed_Allan_Didak]

No wonder they all have the clap

[u/CK_1976]

[u/Solid-Woodpecker1460]

Might try this. What im doing now isnt working so got nothing to loose.

[u/Sugar_on_my_tongue99 → u/Solid-Woodpecker1460]

Yeh you could...if your username is anything to go by.

[u/rhdtztstit]

I see my husband has been taking tips from koalas then lol 🤣

[u/purplepashy → u/rhdtztstit]

They say it pays to advertise.

[u/josephus1811 → u/rhdtztstit]

Yeah this is basically my mating call

[u/Every_Inflation1380]

I'm doing this from now on to signal to my wife that I'm down. Full spread "eeEEEEE" 🤣

[u/chansondinhars → u/Every_Inflation1380]

Don’t forget to grunt loudly, to wake up the whole neighbourhood! 😆

[u/legal_ghost]

bro said EeeeEeEeee

[u/jaiimaster]

The original inspiration for Tinder

[u/ringo5150 → u/jaiimaster]

Timber.

I'll show myself out...

[u/yeah_nah2024 → u/ringo5150]

😂😂

[u/Small-Strawberry-646]

Is this not how all Australian human males signal to females their intention?....lol

[u/Sure_Reception_9922 → u/Small-Strawberry-646]

The rsl at 2 am probably, yeah. 🤷‍♀️

[u/owltourrets]

Balls out Van Damme is killing me

[u/ChaosRealigning]

Him: “Wanna root?”

Her: “Nah”

Him: “Mind if I have one?”

[u/ApprehensiveGas137]

Feel like I’m watching a scene from the movie Basic Instinct, but with koalas

[u/snowman4815]

7 years later

.... you know what... i think she was into me....

[u/blindchihuahua-pj]

Old mate sounds a bit desperate as well. I should call him. Actually no, thats why I don’t, now I think about it. Ew.

[u/how_very_dare_you_]

2.30am outside my bedroom window the inconsiderate twats

[u/Kato2460]

Me to my wife when she walks into the bedroom

[u/Purgii]

Reminds me of the scene at 4am outside a typical nightclub in the 80's.

[u/TheGrumpyNic]

An excellent example of enthusiastic consent

[u/Fabulous_Parking66]

Today I learned that I am as as subtle as a koala in heat

[u/rdomain]

Now that’s an OpenAussie

[u/BrightPhilosopher531]

Are they his gumnuts?

[u/Chodwod]

"Hey, sweetheart! Wrap ya laughing gear around this!"

[u/JapanEngineer]

I don't know why but this reminds me of a drunk english hooligan

[u/yeah_nah2024]

Is he stuck between those branches?

[u/35_PenguiN_35]

Id still miss the hint lol

[u/Some-Handle-2761]

No mixed signals, no games, you in or out?

[u/Technical_Image2145]

I did not expect these guys to sound like that.

[u/ufo8mychook]

Balls out and ready to go!

[u/sassy_cheese564]

“Look at them… look at my huge balls!” The koala probably. 😂

[u/DizzyList237]

Show me your nuts 🤪

[u/Shoddy_Equipment_561]

[u/Ok-Effective7280]

Well now we know where Jean Claude van damme got the idea from.

[u/fresh-ones]

Koalas are so gross with those poop stained butts, we have a lot of wild koalas on our property and you know when there's one close by cos they stink so bad.

[u/bitherntwisted]

He’s been watching the tradies in Surfers.

[u/StAn_ger666]

"Oi Sheila! Get a load of these 'nads..."

• via Google translate

[u/Every_Shallot_1287]

HEYYYY. HEYYY BAYBEEEEE. HEYYYY

[u/nufan86]

Just like us

[u/hdhdhdhdzjursx]

To quote Austen Tasha’s, “How much can a koala bear?”

[u/Dollbeau]

That's Koala for:
The Teeeep, just touch the Teeeeeeeeep!

[u/reeloui]

They are very smooth brained, not exactly smooth in the moves department unfortunately

[u/Thememebrarian]

Well the apps haven't worked, this strat can't be worse

[u/Slight_Fortune8218]

Come get it Stud.

[u/Financial_Refuse_498]

This is how I summon my wife for business hours

[u/Lionness4]

New category of participant for r/troublepuffs

[u/Zaney-Janey1973]

Got up there for a closer look, and gave it a second thought!! 🐨🤔😆
Edit: Adelaidian (don't know how to add a flair)🤷‍♀️

[u/XBakaTacoX]

"Oi. Yeah, you. Look at my dick."

...

"So, do ya wanna root, or what?"

[u/herecomescariboubou]

Check out these gumnuts

[u/NaomiPommerel]

Aussie as 😆😆

[u/Maxxximus1274]

I dunno, I've seen women do something similar to this about 2am on Saturday morning at my local 🤷🏽‍♂️

[u/BidAltruistic3669]

Love them

[u/showmeyourmoves28]

Eeee