[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

ive been ignoring my sexuality for a while because my family is pretty homophobic, but i finally decided to look into it and found that the label "bi oriented cisgender aroace tomboy" fits pretty well. anyway though, wish you all the best!

Hi everyone! 👋

I wanted to share a concept and a pride flag aimed at filling a lexical gap within the Split Attraction Model (SAM): Poly-tertiary (or Polytert for short).

A poly-tertiary individual is defined by experiencing multiple types of tertiary attractions toward multiple people, either simultaneously or successively.

The polytert experience emphasizes high fluidity, with the nature and intensity of attractions shifting between individuals. The 5-stripe pastel flag represents this, with colors for platonic, aesthetic/sensual, alterous attractions, along with neutrality and fluidity.

I am documenting this term on the LGBTQIA+ Wiki and would love to hear your thoughts! Does this concept of multi-tertiary fluidity resonate with your experiences?

https://lgbtqia.fandom.com/fr/wiki/Poly-tertiary

Hi everyone! I’m currently exploring my identity as an aroace person, and I’ve been learning more about being oriented aroace and tertiary attractions. I’ve come across a lot of helpful information, but I’d really love to hear from other people who might have similar experiences, especially when it comes to LITH-type attractions.

A few things I’ve been wondering about:

• LITH and tertiary attraction: From what I understand, “lith” refers to an attraction that becomes weaker or disappears when the attraction is reciprocated. Can this happen with tertiary attractions too, such as aesthetic, alterous, platonic, or sensual attraction? If so, do people use specific labels like lith-aesthetic or lith-alterous, or do you usually just describe the experience without using a micro-label?
• How intense tertiary attraction can be: I’ve realized that tertiary attraction seems to exist on a pretty broad spectrum. How do you personally describe the intensity or nature of your tertiary attractions? And when you identify as oriented aroace, does that mean these attractions are especially strong or important to you, or can they be relatively subtle while still being meaningful to your identity?
• Can tertiary attraction be fluid? I’m also wondering whether tertiary attractions can be fluid or change over time. For example, can someone experience several different types of tertiary attraction at once, or experience one type of attraction toward multiple people? Can the number, combination, or intensity of attractions vary depending on the person? I’d be interested in hearing how others experience this, since I imagine there probably isn’t one fixed pattern that applies to everyone.
• Figuring out how to explain it: I’m also wondering how other people navigate all these nuances when explaining their identity. Do you use the term “oriented aroace” on its own, or do you usually add more specific labels/descriptions? And has figuring out the distinction between different types of attraction helped you understand yourself better?

I’d especially love to hear from people who experience LITH attraction themselves, but I’m also interested in any personal experiences, advice, terminology, or resources that helped you make sense of your tertiary attractions.

Thanks! I’d really appreciate hearing your perspectives. 💜

I already posted the pre existing flags for the other orientations (lesbian, gay, bi, etc.) and wanted to redesign the hetero aroace flag and add two more flags for some lesser known orientations.

If you need definitions:

toric - nonbinary person attracted to men

trixic - nonbinary person attracted to women

Edit: I just realized the first hetero flag looks like the "Amid" flag, so I suggest using number two instead.

Pls give me recommendations

Sorry if this gets a bit confusing, I've known I was ace for a while but I've just recently figured out that I may be aro too. I think it was easier to figure out the ace part because romance is generally less defined than sex.

My current partner (would that even be the correct term?) and I have been together for about 8 months or so, and I think at the start, I did want to hold their hand and maybe kiss their cheek, and I'm not sure if I actually felt romantic attraction and it just faded (frayromantic?) or if it was actually alterous attraction that I thought was romantic. Traditionally considered "romantic" things like candlelight dinners or things like "You're mine and I'm yours" just feel kind of cringey to me, and I don't know if it's because I'm actually aromantic or if it's just my apothisexuality flagging these as potentially sexual or building up to sexual things (given how much sex and romance are looped together, I wouldn't be surprised if these things were actually sexual as well).

This is pretty much my first relationship where we both know that we like each other back, so I have no idea how romance works. I used to think I was alloace, then recently realized I had the completely wrong idea of what romance actually was (I thought all the "you're mine" phrases were just exaggerated fanfiction stuff). I want to be with them, I want to hug them, and I want spend time with them, but pet names (like baby, honey, darling, dear) just feel weird and really unnecessary to me, and honestly feels forced. I just want to call them my bro, but I feel like "best friend" wouldn't be right to describe it. I don't want to call them a girlfriend/boyfriend/enbyfriend/whatever the gender neutral term for it was that I can't remember. "Partner" feels fitting, but idk if I want it to be meant in a romantic way.

I'm not sure if this is actually alterous attraction or a really weird form of romantic attraction. I just hope y'all know more about it than I do since I'm new to this 😭

TL;DR: I don't know if my feelings towards my current partner is romantic or alterous bc I feel like I prob have felt romantic feelings that faded, I find a lot of things generally considered romantic cringey, and I have no idea wtf romance actually is

i am trixic oriented aroace my attraction is platonic but also aesthetic as well i don't hang out with people alot so this is going based off of past experiences i am also asensual

The first two images are from 2026, and the second two are from 2021.

I've been thinking about doing this for awhile, and whenever I look at my old one, a lot of the labels/flags on there still resonate with me, but I think having grown as a queer person and having more experiences that help me understand my queer identity, I care a lot less about specific labels, and I am very secure in a more "simple" identity, which is still very confusing to allocishet people.

I've seen multiple of these flow charts recently on various subs, so I decided to make one.

I am technically Angled AroAce as I experience sexual attraction to a degree, but I've heard that Oriented AroAce can be used interchangeably.

Microlabels:

1. Cupioromantic - Experiencing no romantic attraction, but desiring romantic relationships.
2. Aegoromantic - An aromantic person who enjoys the concept of romance, especially in media.
3. Aessex - Somebody whose aesthetic and sexual attraction are linked, often the lines between them are blurred. (I also use the term "Pseudosexual").
4. Toric - Non-Binary people with attraction to non-women/feminine-aligned people.
5. Achillean - Queer attraction to non-women/feminine-aligned people.
6. Androsexual - Attraction to men, male-aligned, and/or masculine people.
7. Panalterous - Alterous attraction regardless of gender identity.
8. Uranisthetic - Aesthetic attraction to men and non-binary people.
9. Asenflux - A fluctuating sensual attraction.
10. Apothisensual - Touch-averse asensuality.
11. Dovesensual - The desire to engage in or reciprocate sensual activity, but only when an emotional bond is present.
12. Uranisensual - Sensual attraction to men and non-binary people.

Yeah I dont really care if people think I am valide in RL I just use the AroAceflag and call it a day.

like i experience absolutely zero romantic or sexual attraction but i do get squishes on objects :/

The title is pretty much self explanatory, I'm both sex and romance repulsed aroace but sort of feel tertiary attractions towards some people, but they (the tertiary attractions) aren't really that strong mostly and I don't know if I would really consider them being that important to me, so I just tend up using both aroace and oriented aroace labels... is there possibly something in between?

Hello everyone,
Out of curiosity, has the word “attraction” hit you when figuring out, learning, and/or accepting your asexuality or aromanticism?
For clarification, short story time:
A few days after reading Ace by Angela Chen on November 2025, the word “attraction” finally hit me and cleared up a lot of things about being ace, then aro later on. For me at that time, that meant saying, “I don’t experience sexual attraction, but I have some sort of attraction to people. However, I can tell you right now that my sexual desire is high.”
I guess what I’m talking about is the nuance finally hitting me. Regardless, it felt great to finally get that clarification for myself.
Has anyone had a similar experience?

I see them used...no where actually. It wouldn't surprise me if some people didn't know they existed. Would you use them or just stick with the general oriented flag?

In order: lesbian, gay, bi, pan, poly, hetero, sapphic, achillean.

Ok, just realized my image quality is crusty, lmao. Download the flags from the wiki if you want higher resolution.

Source: https://lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Oriented_Aroace