r/Petloss • u/Responsible-Fall-383 • 18h ago
Impending Loss Lying next to my dying dog
I've had my dog for 16 years now, since I was 8 years old. She's always been a wonderful sister to me, and I adore her more than anything. About two days ago, she started to struggle more with walking, and seemed largely unable to keep herself up. We let her rest to see if she'd improve since she's had dizzy spells in the past that have passed. Unfortunately the next day she wasn't doing better. She would still eat and drink and could stand with assistance and walk around a little bit before tiring out, we decided it was time to euthanize her and contacted an at home euthanasia service who couldn't fit us in until 2 days from then. Then in the last 24 hours she stopped being able to stand, eat, or drink on her own. She lies in her doggy bed, coming in and out of sleep with muscle twitches now and then. She isn't responsive to anyone anymore, and just tries to move or whimpers softly every so often and we reposition her in her bed which calms her down and lets her drift off to sleep again.
I've been rolling through panic attacks now and then, I am insanely distraught over her suffering for so long before we can euthanize her. I'd take her to a vet directly but she has for the longest time been in extreme distress anytime we take her to the vet as we've had to do the last year for some health scares. She seems to be in pain when we move her and at home euthansia just seems better for her.
There are 15 hours until her scheduled appointment and I just can't sleep right now. When I tried to go to sleep in my bed I woke up after an hour with the biggest pit of anxiety in my stomach. I can't leave her bedside at all in case she needs me. But waiting for the appointment is actual torture for me and her. Every time she tries to move and whimpers I genuinely feel my heart breaking. I don't know what to do for her. I worry I'm not helping her enough. I don't want her to suffer anymore. I am having panic attacks so bad I can't even shower right now or eat properly.
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u/YogurtPublicStill711 16h ago
I'm so sorry. That final night with my dog, waiting for the vet to turn up (we did it at home too), was absolutely heart wrenching. I wish I could help take your pain away somehow and keep your dog healthy for many more years to come. Just know you're not alone, sending love and peace for your final time together and the tough days ahead ❤️
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u/Responsible-Fall-383 16h ago
Thank you so much this means a lot to me. Everyone is asleep right now so I feel very alone but this made me feel a lot less alone. I'm sorry you had to go through this too, I wouldn't wish this level of pain and anxiety upon anyone. 🫂🫂
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u/YogurtPublicStill711 16h ago
I stayed up most the night. I couldn't bring myself to fall asleep. My dog had quite an uncomfortable night and I hated seeing her like that so I was relieved the vet was booked the next day. Not that I wanted her to go of course but I hated seeing her hurting. It's so hard and I'm sorry! This sub was a big help as I went through it all. Though I wouldn't wish this pain on my worst enemy, it was some comfort knowing I wasn't alone.
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u/Responsible-Fall-383 16h ago
I get what you mean... She's at the point where she's mainly unresponsive and just whimpers and moves a little sometimes until I reposition her or dripple some water for her to lick up then she goes back to bed or just stares into nothingness. She doesn't react much at all when I pet her but I hope it is bringing her comfort.
14 hours until the appointment... Doesn't feel like it'll come soon enough honestly. I get what you mean when you say you don't want to see them go but you also don't want to prolong their suffering. Honestly she's been holding on so strongly my heart absolutely breaks, I wish I knew how she felt. 🫂 Thank you again so much.
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u/YogurtPublicStill711 16h ago
It's so tough. Her pain will be over soon, just keep loving her in the meantime. Sending love.
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u/BenneSuh 10h ago
Youre not alone today is my 16yr old puppys at home service at 1pm and i woke up at 6:30 am to still give her the last dose of her heart medication and now ive been laying in her bed with her 4 more hrs till the vet arrives and IM crying like crazy my eyes are so raw and my nose it hurts so mych like as if someone was punching me in my check repeatedly. Im sending my love to you and may pur babies rest in peace and fly high 🫂🕊️😔
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u/Responsible-Fall-383 10h ago
Gosh I'm so sorry that you are going through this as well... It's an unbelievable pain but I hope we can both take some solace in knowing what long fulfilling lives our babies have lived. Even if it feels like small consolation right now. I'm sending you so much strength and love. I know the waiting is agony but you are almost there.
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u/BenneSuh 10h ago
Yes .. i agree we were able to have the privilege of giving them 16 years of love and protection thank you for your kind words .🫂🫂
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u/SelfSufficient1557 16h ago
unfortunately all you can do while you wait for the appointment time is continue to love && make her as comfortable as you can, as well as yourself; hydrate && eat simple foods like crackers, bread, fruit, etc..
She feels your love && you’re doing the best thing of letting her transition at home
I’m sorry you’re going through this && i hold you both in my heart tonight ❤️🩹
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u/Responsible-Fall-383 16h ago
Thank you so much for affirming this. I've had an anxious pit in my stomach that I wasn't doing enough to make her comfortable and I hope she knows how much I love her and is finding some peace during this painful time. 🫂🫂 I deeply appreciate you
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