I often call my bearded dragon “stinky fat bastard guy” or “freaky ass mf” when I’m feeding her (jokingly ofc).
I have had friends express that cussing at animals is wrong, and that my doing so has made them uncomfortable.
Obviously I don’t think animals should be spoken to in a rough or loud tone. I usually I speak in a baby voice, whisper, or normal speaking voice regardless of what I’m saying so as to not scare my dragon.
I don’t really get the logic behind it, but I want to know if this is genuinely a habit I should let go of?
Would love to know this subreddits thoughts
Edit: I appreciate the feedback lol
Will continue to call my stinky chud daughter fat and stinky.
I call my dog a little fat chunk almost every day to his face. Sometimes I cal all three dogs mother Rucker if they're being especially stupid in the moment. None of them love me any less. It's tone and intent, not words.
your friends are being dramatic. animals dont speak english, they react to tone and body language. my cat gets called "garbage creature" and "little idiot" multiple times per day while i scratch her chin and she purrs like motorboat
if you were screaming insults at your dragon that would be different thing but you're baby-talking a lizard. she literally does not know what "freaky ass mf" means, she just knows the cricket-bringer is being nice to her
Growing up we had a dog that his name was Chase (because he liked to chase us around and play. Beautiful amazing dog). But because we always said his name in a happy tone, he would respond to curse words if you used the same tone.
Ohhh I call my old dog fat and stinky in the same voice I call him a sweetheart, he truly can’t tell the difference as long as it’s in the same voice pfft. But that’s just my dog, he’s a bit stupid
I have a snall brown pomeranian/ jack russel mix. Hes 14. Hes such a good snuggler. His nick name is Brick. There's just nothing at all going on upstairs. I also nominate him for "one orange braincell" because hes orange enough. Very cute boy. No thoughts whatsoever.
Pets are not capable of understanding if you're saying something mean. Even if they did understand the words, they have different ideas of what's a negative trait. Do you really think a beardie would find "stinky" or "fat" an upsetting thing to hear? Does a cat think "bastard" is a bad word? Animals have more complex emotions than some people give them credit for, but they aren't human and they don't ascribe to human culture. What they do understand is tone and body language. As far as pets are concerned, there's zero difference between calling them "sweet little baby" and "horrible fucking shit" as long as you're saying it with a friendly voice. If you took an aggressive tone and said "I love you, my precious snookums!" they'd perceive it as aggression.
That said, for some people it's enough that they know what they're saying is mean, and they find that uncomfortable. That's totally valid! I know someone who feels like insulting their pets will subconsciously change the way they think about them and will make it harder to have patience when they misbehave, and he's allowed to feel that way. I wouldn't say mean things to someone's pet if they find it upsetting. But there's nothing wrong with affectionately insulting your pets if you aren't made uncomfortable by it.
Of course I don’t believe she understands human language. Look at her, I don’t even think she knows she’s alive.
I just didn’t know if thinking that way was considered questionable behavior or a sign that I’m a shitty owner lmao. I wanted to know if other people also did this kind of stuff
Same here, and you’re fine lol. I’m finding all the comments here uplifting actually.
My issue had been the implication that affectionately cussing at animals makes you a bad person. I’m frustrated with that POV as well, like wtf 😭
I'd be happy to share the word and concept of "assholery". Essentially, the eleventh commandment should be "Thou shalt not commit assholery." Defining it varies from creature to creature. Some never or incredibly seldom commit it.
Should anyone care, the behaviors that consititute assholery for Professor Monkey, a six-year-old asshole cat, include but are not limited to: stealing food, going outside, whacking his brother the dog or one of his four sisters the cats in the face for no actual reason, sharpening claws on furniture (we have proper scratching things), and there are more! At least a couple times a week, I pause and explicitly add behaviors to the list of what consitutes assholery.
Trash talking my four legged family members is the only psychological mitigation available to me for how intensely I love them. Without a “you son of a bitch” as I kiss my cat’s little elbow every now and then, the way I love him and the others would just swallow me whole, I fear.
I have called every single one of our EIGHTEEN pets a bitch at some point. Regardless of gender/age/species. Most of them have also been referred to as "This Feckin Thing" "Menace" and/or "Stink/Stinky". But certain ones get special nicknames like Booger Boy, Goat(derogatory), and Poop.
I call my horse Stinky. He does not stink and that’s not his name. I still yell “Stinky” with the same enthusiasm every day whilst pointing at him in the field and he whinnies and starts heading over to the gate to meet me. I don’t think it’s the word that matters but how I say it. I don’t think he knew what affection was before he met me but he knows it now.
Laverne, RES turtle, got called a bitch for hissing and trying to bite my husband as he retrieved her from being stuck between her tank and the wall.
The best behaved is one of the cats, and she got it for using her sweetness to lull me into a false sense of security in order to steal my chicken sandwich.
She is called Goat, because she climbs and farts on everything. Sometimes I'll sing that Boat Dog Markiplier meme, but obv say Goat Dog.
The other one is Poop, because the second she has access to ANY poo, she's gonna eat it, roll in it, or both. She once pulled the leash from my hands in PetSmart to go eat some other dog's fresh turd. The other dog was literally STILL SHITTING.
Booger Boy has markings around his nose and eyes that resemble boogers. So, when he's a bully to Laverne (or anyone else), we "bully" him back by calling him Booger Boy.
I threaten to sell my intact female dog to the Amish when she’s pissing me off. We all do it. They don’t know what we are saying and half the time they are just happy we are talking to them.
We threaten our cat with the concept of buying him cute hats (he hates hats, never gotten him to wear one) (“don’t even think about it, Fluffy, you’d look adorable in a Stetson!”) 😂
I've fold my dogs they are going back to where they came from aka the shelter..... but I wouldn't ever truly do that but damn, sometimes they really upset me 🤣🤣 The Amish is a good one though, may need to use it
I call my dog a stupid b—ch all the time. And my dumb doggie. We say the smooth brain thing to her looking lovingly into her eyes that have nothing behind them but love and too many cheerios. She is also our little hoe because she LOVES our male guests, one of them a little too much and smacks all of them in the balls with her paws. On purpose. She will keep trying until she nut-taps every male guest. I also call her a heifer a cow a land orca and stinky. Every single one of those nicknames is said in adoration because I love my stinky old baby, and am 9/10 petting her or kissing her while insulting her. When she actually makes me mad I threaten to end her bloodline (it is a joke because her first owner had her spayed before she ever had puppies).
Here’s my “Big Fat Honkin’ Goose Boy” sometimes even “My 600 lb Maltipoo” jokingly, of course. He was supposed to be between 8-9 lbs and he is nearly 12+ lbs so my husband and I joke about it. He is our best friend. 💙 as others said, tone and intent. 🩵
It makes ME feel awful if I call my cat anything rude or mean. The max I'll call her is silly girl. Once I called her stupid cat and was wracked with guilt all day.
I’m the exact same way! I think of them like preschoolers who adore you, if you wouldn’t say it to them, don’t say it to your pets. I also don’t laugh when they do anything clumsy or embarrass themselves, at least I always ask if they’re ok first 🩵
my boy is soooo simple i also once called him stupid i said “relax stupid” as i was getting his food, i said it in a normal tone, he did not understand at all, i apologized to him about 16 times and also spent the rest of the day feeling guilty
I call “Where my bitches at?!”, and the dogs come running. I talk so much smack to these dogs. Probably holler “goddamn asshole dog!” at least a half dozen times, most days (usually, because they’ve nearly tripped me on the stairs).
Meanwhile, I’m spoiling them completely rotten, because they’re my fluffy/fuzzy babies. Did you know that BarkBox made an optional add on for Halloween that’s a HUGE coffin shaped box full of freeze dried chicken hearts and other special treats and chews? My spoiled-ass dogs sure do.
Hate to say but it sounds like your friends are a little too concerned. Animals don't recognize words the way humans do, they're capable of it yes, but they don't have the same level of understanding. They read the tone of your voice more. I call my cats dumb bitch, fat fuck, bitch less, stupid asshole, the list goes on (my cats are definitely trying to kill me with how often I wake up with them laying way too close to being on top of my face or almost tripping me down the stairs.) They've never reacted to the words, only the tone I use them in. I can call my bigger cat my little bitch less boy right to his face in the sweetest voice and he loves it. Call him a fat fuck in a stern voice to chase him from his sister's food though? He does the Scooby Doo shuffle to get away.
Tl;Dr I think it's more the tone you speak in than the words you use
I call both my cat and dog horrible animals! But I say it in a fun way or baby talk them when I say it. Your tone and intentions matter the most. My dog does know what bad means though so we dont use that word.
Lmao - it’s not you, it’s them. You are physically kind and caring, you aren’t using a tone that is threatening. And if one day, your beardie suddenly stood up and said, “Dude. That’s not cool. Please adjust your xenophobic language around me,” well, then there would be something to consider. (Besides maybe ESP or a psychiatric evaluation 😆)
People who try to police your language in situations where it makes NO SENSE are bringing the weird with them. Whatever their issues are, don’t own them. If they are people you really care about, engage them on why they have those feelings (past trauma? ) but never ever accept the idea that you are committing some kind of moral wrong.
If you are not close, but have them as guests as part of a larger social group from time to time, you can decide whether to adjust your language in front of them temporarily to avoid unnecessary drama. OR you can politely tell them to mind their business in other peoples homes.
(NB: I LOVE an opportunity to set and enforce boundaries with the entitled, ignorant, and narrow-minded ppl of the world. )
I call my pets fucko or asshole whenever they are being a fucko or asshole, which can be often. Or we have one who we sometimes call chunk. We have one that we always accuse of shitting his pants when we poops on the floor.
I’m not saying these things out of anger. We use these terms to talk to them like humans. I think animals understand tone more than words.
I choose to believe that our pets talk smack about us to each other as well but we just can't understand it. Mutual smacktalking without the other realizing it
Your friend might have some trauma over the way they’ve been spoken to. Sometimes when my teenagers call our cats mean names it triggers something in me to tell them to please stop. But on the whole, I think that’s more of a me issue than anything else.
One of my cats I call a freeloader and the other is my pest control and any time he gets a moth or nat or something, he gets a "you've earned your keep"
Not at all. Assuming you are not yelling or making a mean face with your teeth showing in a scary manner. They have no idea what you are saying and do not care.
I have some immature and unflattering nicknames for my beloved cat which entertain me and go over her head because of course they're spoken in a loving tone so really, everybody wins.
I had two dogs, one male and one female. The male was older and adopted about two years before the female. I called him Stinky Boy when he’d get into something gross. He passed over a year ago. My female is called Stinkerbell when she does it! Again, tone and attitude determines their reaction.
Our totally muscular dog is known as Mr fat bum....he loves it 🤣
And all three pets are referred affectionately as little buggers.
At least I don't threaten to throw them in the wheelie bin as I used to do with my kids 🤔
There’s a person on FB who has a page for her dogs, and people have gotten so upset at her for calling her dog dumb and other names, which is clearly done jokingly and lovingly. As she points out, the dog (or in your case, dragon) has no idea what he’s being called.
Cats don’t understand words, but they kind of understand tone. So when I’m communicating with my cat, the words that come out could be ANYTHING. We fairly regularly refer to our cat as “soooo stinky” “too pretty to hold down a job” “dumb bitch” “she’s tooooo beautiful” “emergency food source” and every single one of those are said with reverence and admiration
I swear my animals all the time. For a couple years, one of my cats legit thought that her name was Bitch Kitten.
I also frequently tell my current cat that I’m going to grab her little head and squeeze it until it pops. While gently grabbing her head, and gently shaking it.
When I was a dog groomer, I would swear at dogs at work. Not in an aggressive tone obviously, it was in my normal speaking voice. Playfully call them an asshole. why the fuck are you doing (whatever behavior). hey buddy I still need to trim your damn nails, calm your shit.
It was in a fully enclosed room, where pet parents wouldn’t hear any of it. And I wasn’t saying anything to my groom dogs that I wouldn’t say to my own personal pet.
But at a performance review, a manager that wasn’t my direct manager told her that it would be nice if I swore the dogs less. And I, when I heard that feedback, just started laughing, as did my direct manager; and immediately I playfully asked the dog on my table if he was a little goddamn motherfucker, to an enthusiastic tail wag and attempts to kiss my face.
It’s all about tone. That’s what they’re picking up on. Not the words.
lol I call one of my cats a fat piece of shit. First of all, he yells for meals, tries to steal food and tears into food bags. Second of all, he’s kind of a jerk. I am just being honest lol
I call my friend's dogs ding and dong all the time, always in a loving tone. Sometimes I ask them if they are ding or dong that day. It's all in the tone.
I have an orange cat who lives up to and exceeds the orange cat stereotypes.
Hes often questioned on where hes left the brain cell today and insulted quite often. He also adores bootie rubs and tries to trip me up to get them so im gonna say hes not too fussed about my verbal abuse.
I think pets love language is less talk, more food and scritches universally.
I routinely fatshame one of my cats- she don't know, she's just fat lol. I measure out everyone food, so she definitely got fat by stealing food from the other cats (and the dog a few times, before he passed); so imo, she deserves it.
I don't think they understand. My dog is definitely not the brightest. I tell him all the time "you stoopid" and "you so dumb" and he wags his tail like mad.
I used to tell my cat to straighten up because she would feed a family of five with leftovers and meat is expensive. She'd also complain, I'd tell her no, she'd complain some more, and I'd tell her it's because I didn't love her.
Keep in mind she was a very spoiled cat. Vet heard me tell her "No, because there's not enough love." during checkout, when she was fussing that I wasn't moving fast enough. Cracked him up. She was a dearly loved and spoiled girl :D Which is why she argued so much and often did get her way!
ETA: our current dog may or may not think his name is Mugsy You Asshole.
I like to lovingly describe how I'm going to feed my pets (2 dogs, 2 cats) to each other when they're driving me crazy. I tell them I'm going to start with the largest one and at the end I'll just have one very fat cat.
I also like to sweetly tell them how they'd make lovely slippers.
Animals don't understand our language you can call them the most vulger thing but if you put in youre cutesy voice they don't care! They'll think youre calling them the best buddy in the world. Don't think of what others might think of you. Care what you and youre pet feels and needs.
I don't do it, but I guess it isn't terrible so long as you aren't yelling at them. The worst thing I call my dog is "stupid stinky boy". He'll do his little happy spins and run to cuddle me so I know he's fine.
My Dad calls our dog "Boo the Bastard", affectionately of course. Its now evolved to us all singing "Mr Boobastard" to the tune of Shaggys Mr Bombastic. He doesn't seem to mind.
I call one of my dogs "Stinky" or "stinkies", in a cutesy baby talk kind of way (she's a hound and has a hound "musk". She then really made it come true by getting sprayed by a skunk.
I tell my dog she is stupid or a goose sometimes, usually when she is tearing up a lawn, but then I apologise and acknowledge that she is not stupid, she is a dog.
My tone is pretty much always soft when I’m speaking to her, except when she repeatedly body blocks me on walks to get to interesting smells, then it’s a bit exasperated 😂
My brother fatshames my cat, Nezuko. She's not even that fat, she only weighs 12 pounds and is only on the higher end of normal weight. She does take it personally and won't let him give pets.
My dog have many nickname but the one I'm probably using too much is "Gros cul" (it's French) which translate to Fat Ass, I also use the occasional "Little bitch" as well but it's done in a loving/happy way and he seems to loves it! He is not fat but he is a Samoyed and his fur do give him a fat ass 🤷
I call my border collie (who is MAYBE 2-3 pounds overweight, barely “fat”) “fat girl” or “chubby baby”. My boyfriend tried to call her that too… I gasped and told him to stop fat shaming my daughter 😂
Last night I stood in front of my very vocal and somewhat annoying cat, pointed at her and told her that after 15 years of slaving over her meals, she can damned well learn English and ask me properly for her food. And until she does that she is on notice and going hungry, because she hasn’t any thumbs.
We've done it to our cats. My first cat was very vocal and a brat. If you weren't doing what he wanted he banshee screamed until you did it (so glad no one reported us when windows were open). Needless to say he acquired several nicknames that included shit or fuck in them along with fruit tart and fruit loop which were said in an annoyed tone. His nice nickname was Baby Bear and yes he responded to it. He also responded with a query meow if you said fuck with just the right inflection and tone usually said in frustration at a video game.
One of the apartments we walk by regularly has a sign that says "the cat is fine he just likes screaming" and I'm disappointed because I have never got to see or hear the cat
I mean when my dogs were blocking the stairs I would sing Ludacris move bitch at them... Does that count as speaking mean to them? Sometimes if the kids were home bitch got changed to dog.... But if it was female dog... Bitch might stay bitch 50/50.
I call my cat stinky, stupid, and fat in a cute baby voice and because he does not understand english he simply knows it as the voice I use for talking to him! but if I actually yelled or swore in a voice that made them feel uncomfortable I would feel absolutely awful. would never do that sht.
One of my horses will respond faster to "hey fatass" with an excited nicker (this often gets said when I have a treat lol) than she will to her actual legal name of Luna.
Do you see the side eye this old lady is giving me? I probably asked her if she wanted to cuddle.
She is told she is a fat asshole daily. She is constantly in the way, forget about trying to cook dinner easily, because she will be right under your feet every time you move in hopes of something dropping.
Going to the bathroom in the middle of the night, you have to shuffle walk so you don’t meet your death because she will trip you.
In turn she will give us an indignant huff.
Then will be sitting in front of you, demanding pets by aggressively petting you.
She is the sassiest dog I’ve ever had. I love her and all her drama.
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u/LaceyLizard 1d ago
If my cat didn't want to be called a rat bastard he wouldn't try to trip me down the stairs everyday