r/PickyEaters • u/Forsaken_Ad5622 • 6d ago
Picky autistic child wants to be a vegetarian. How do I support him?
Hi! My son is six, autistic and going through a picky phase. While these phases tend to get better after a couple of months of work, there are some consistent foods he absolutely will not eat, such as beans and rice. He likes some vegetables, such as peas and broccoli.
Over the past month he’s been increasingly concerned about eating meat and the effect it has on animals, and has told me multiple times he wants to be a vegetarian. His father and I are supportive and willing to make dietary changes, as we share his concerns, but I’m wondering where to start when he’s so restrictive.
I’m even willing to eventually incorporate beans into meals as he gets used to his new diet. I do want to make sure his meals are balanced, he is still growing after all.
All this to say, where can I find picky eater friendly recipes for a budding vegetarian?
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u/Fuzzy_Welcome8348 6d ago
A lot of meals are still on the table for being vegetarian, vegan is another story. He can still eat eggs and dairy so include those in his meals. Any dish u can make, just leave out the meat
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u/Lilacs_orchids 6d ago
Vegan is still possible, there’s a whole subreddit of autistic vegans r/autisticvegans
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u/DiTrastevere 6d ago
Can he do purées?
Puréed soups are a great way to get some protein/fiber into his diet without him having to deal with inconsistent textures or visuals. Beans and lentils do lend themselves especially well to this.
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u/B-loved_Specialist 6d ago
Agreed that blending in beans and/or silken tofu into soups and sauces is a great way to add in protein and fiber.
I've been adding tofu to my marinara sauce and the only thing I notice is it's a little less red but the taste is the same to me.
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u/maccrogenoff 6d ago
Perhaps you can explain to your son that beans are legumes as are peas which he likes.
He might be willing to give more varieties of beans a try.
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u/B0red_0wl 6d ago
I'm pretty picky and I've found that I quite like stuff like tofu and paneer (Indian farmers cheese used in place of meat) and a lot of the chicken substitutes I've tried have a pretty inoffensive flavor with the texture of a cheap chicken nugget. You can also blend up a lot of stuff into a sauce or soup to get rid of offensive textures
What I might do is a sort of "taste test" where he can test various veggies and meat substitutes to see which ones he likes best so you have a place to start looking. And are there any tastes or textures he either really likes or really doesn't like? And what foods does he normally eat?
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u/Ramsden_12 6d ago
I was a picky child and I went vegetarian when I was seven. Some of my favourite meals when I was a child were things like crackers and cheese with pickles, or Quorn ham sandwiches with salad. I did like beans, but you can have a perfectly healthy vegetarian diet without them. We are raising my daughter to make her own choices, but one of her favourites is pasta with peas and cheese.
If you suggest some meals he eats now I can suggest some vegetarian alternatives for you?
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u/Forsaken_Ad5622 6d ago
That’s good to know that you started relatively young as well!
His favorite meals are spaghetti and pizza. He loves tomato sauce. He hasn’t been keen on chips and crackers in a while, but he’ll eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and likes most fruits such as bananas and apples.
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u/LaRoseDuRoi 6d ago
You can sneak some extra veggies into pizza sauce or spaghetti sauce. Don't go too nuts right away or it can change the taste or texture too much. Things like a few cooked and mashed carrots, pureed zucchini, or a spoonful of canned pumpkin ups the nutrition. I also throw a handful of dried spinach flakes into practically everything... it just looks like herbs once it's cooked into the sauce or soup.
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u/No-Zucchini2991 6d ago
Red lentils work very well in tomato sauce! You could cook the lentils and blend them, but they get pretty soft without blending, so that may work fine. PB+Js are great nutritionally, I also liked things like banana bread with almond butter growing up. I've recently made a chia seed "jam" made with mashed fruit (I used frozen raspberries) and a few tablespoons of chia seeds, which could add more nutrients to a PB+J (I also ate whole wheat bread, but I know not all kids are game for that).
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u/RomanTheGerman 6d ago
I am not a vegetarian, pretty much the opposite but if I was trying to become one I think ThePlantSlant on YouTube would be my role model
First, he is incredibly healthy he doesn't thirst trap on YouTube but his Instagram shows the results his diet achieves and they are... impressive
He also makes it super approachable and not this weird cult thing that seems to infect so many seemingly innocuous subcultures
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u/SovaElyzabeth 6d ago
I'm not vegetarian either and I love Liam! He uses common sense and science to help people eat healthier, never shames anyone for their diet or body, and shows so much compassion
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u/AliceInReverse 5d ago
At his age, I would also consult a registered dietitian. (NOT a nutritionist!) Your child is still growing and you need to be sure that you are still providing the nutrition needed for growth
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u/Cantsleepforever1 6d ago
Maybe involve him in the planning a bit- my picky autistic sibling would always eat more things if they'd made the choice. It also helps build the connection a bit between action and consequence e.g. being a vegetarian is ok but you have to think about how many veg to eat. AS can be big on control and it can sometimes help the anxiety to be more involved than standard.
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u/late-nineteenth 6d ago
Broccoli mum on youtube and instagram has recipes that often hide beans in them, especially her older youtube videos. Some are even desserts that you could eat for your meal because of the whole food content. Her son didn't like beans before so the only way he ate them was when they were blended into something else that covers the taste.
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u/GeneralBox9901 6d ago
I literally just learned there is a subreddit just for this! r/autisticvegans
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u/Adorable_Football130 6d ago
Vegetarian and not vegan is pretty easy. Pizza, cheese sandwiches, cream Cheese, pb&j, pasta with any veg in olive oil. Lentils, beans, tvp make good meat substitutes and are easy to sneak in.
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u/Sea_Sider3898 5d ago
This is awesome; good for your kid wanting to eat ethically and cruelty free.
We’re an entirely vegetarian household and these days there’s just so much available (unlike when I first went veg in my early teens)
I love helping my kids read labels, especially choosing foods based on important factors like protein, fiber, and sugar content. Could your kid get interested in looking at labels and doing compare and contrast?
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u/Annoyed-Person21 6d ago
Does he eat any other legumes/grains? Tofu? Will he eat it if it’s from chipotle? (My kid loves beans and rice, but at first only from chipotle). Also he’s 6 so he still has time to try things a few times. If he’s eating enough different things it’s fine, but if not he may have to be satisfied with a slower transition until he is eating enough different foods. Also keep in mind that a lot of vegetarian dishes have lower calories and if you’re trading say tofu for chicken you need to eat a little bit bigger portion. My kid watched an episode of Pete the cat recently where they talked about trying things a few times before deciding whether you like it and it was really helpful. We also let our kid choose which vegetable he will be trying in the store. And we give him vitamins just to be sure. It’s not impossible, but you also can’t allow him to have a poor quality diet.
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u/Bay_de_Noc 6d ago
You might be able to give him some of the veggie meat substitutes. Some of them are really delicious. I'd suggest going to one of the vegetarian/vegan forums and ask for suggestions there. They will have a lot more good information for you.
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u/humanhedgehog 6d ago
It might be a good opportunity to encourage him to be more open? "Yes, absolutely we can be vegetarian, but to be healthy we need to eat a wider range of food if we don't eat meat. Let's try lots of new recipes so we can find delicious vegetarian food"
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u/layyla4real 6d ago
Reading this thread is making me crave a vegetable stuffed baked potato with tofu sauce, one of my favorites.
Tofu sauce recipe can be found by searching for "the spot tofu sauce recipe "
The Spot was a famous vegetarian restaurant restaurant in Hermosa Beach, California dating back to the 1970s. I was lucky enough to be a long time customer. Sadly it closed when the owner retired. She did publish a cookbook.
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u/KnittyMossBadger 6d ago
At six I think a great start could be to meal plan, shop and cook together a night or two a week. I think kids feel a lot more in control of what they’re eating if they see the full process. And it might help open up some new options too.
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u/ConcertEquivalent734 6d ago
Thank you for being supportive! I went vegetarian when I was around that age because I just couldn’t fathom eating animals, and having supportive parents makes the world of a difference.
I second the comments saying hidden veggie recipes! If protein is a concern (which to be honest, most people get plenty of it anyways), you can blend silken tofu into creamy sauces :)
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u/Lilacs_orchids 6d ago edited 6d ago
I think it would be a good idea to find out what he doesn’t like about beans and rice. If it is texture there are many ways to prepare them in a different texture. If it is taste, try different legumes and grains. Lentils are a good option as well. TVP is a good substitute for ground meat. Tofu can be prepared a million different ways so don’t write it off if you tried one way. Check out [r/autisticvegans](r/autisticvegans) or [r/veganparenting](r/veganparenting). As far as I know, autistic vegans is a closed sub for only vegans but you can lurk there to see if anyone has any ideas. Don’t just focus on protein though, kids don’t actually need that much. The amount they need in a whole day is what adults can easily get in one meal and so many kids are eating way over the recommended amount.
Get him involved with the planning and cooking so he has a better understanding of what he likes and dislikes. I like the idea in this article about making a list of ‘always’ ‘sometimes’ and ‘not yet’ foods and giving a reward when they try a certain number of foods. https://med.stanford.edu/news/all-news/2026/06/arfid-treatments.html
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u/No-Fuckin-Ziti 6d ago
You need to have a conversation with him, that if he wants to cut out a huge number of foods, he needs to be willing to try and eat more of what is left. Make a deal, if a dish is vegetarian, he needs to try it. No more declining anything he hasn’t actually eaten. Explain that being a vegetarian is hard, and you need to be a big boy to make a change like that in a healthy way. He will not be allowed to live off his comfort foods. This is a good excuse to have him join you and your husband as a member of the family, as opposed to a small child who needs everything done for them. If he is interested and concerned enough about this, he is going to actively participate in this change.
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u/cajolinghail 6d ago
It’s not that hard. The hardest part is other people being judgemental and difficult about you not wanting to eat animals.
Also I assume you haven’t heard of ARFID but maybe you should look into it before complaining that an autistic kid is eating too many “comfort foods".
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u/Jueru2003 6d ago
See if he will eat one of the nutritional supplement / meal replacement drinks like sustagen. Will help cover any missing nutrients and can make it an afternoon or morning snack. Sustagen does need to be mixed with a stick blender or blender or it doesn't always mix completely in my experience. Can buy a range of flavours in tins or premade in poppers (like juice).
I had a lot of sustagen growing up as I often had trouble gaining or keeping weight on.
Tofu is a good source of protein and can be bought or made at home. Has a consistent texture so may be a good option for picky eaters.
There are lots of vegan alternatives now for meat that can just be popped in the oven to provide as an alternative to the meat main dish these days.
If your concerned, can do the diet for awhile and then ask for blood tests to check for any deficiencies.
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u/RichmondReddit 6d ago
Let him be a vegetarian. Help him look thru recipes and remove any items he doesn’t like but still make the recipe work. Let him help with chopping and preparing meals. You could do a Sunday shop and cook and portion out the meals for the week so he knows what is coming. No surprises.
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u/swampthingfromhell 6d ago
There’s actually a lot of autistic vegans and vegetarians! Autistic folks often have hyper empathy and a strong connection to animals so it follows that a lot of us would be vegetarians. I am autistic and have been a vegetarian since I was 11! Peas have a good bit of protein so if he likes those that’s great. I would introduce tofu and see if he likes that. It is very Texture so he might not but if he does it’s super versatile and a great protein. You could also get silken tofu which you can blend into sauces, soups, smoothies, etc. Dairy is also good for lacto-ovo vegetarians- greek yogurt has a lot of protein. If he has safe meals he eats often look at how you can add nutrition there. Other than protein the main thing he might miss out on is iron which is present in spinach, pumpkin seeds, fortified cereals/milks, or easily available as a dietary supplement if all else fails.
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u/questioner7589 6d ago
Maybe try blending the beans and rice to make a different texture. Like bean burgers and such. They’re vegetarian, but it may be the texture of the bean not the taste of the bean that he’s struggling with.
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u/Axolotl_Apocalypse05 6d ago
Im autistic and vegetarian, I dislike tofu and eggs. I became very fond of falafels (I love them with hummus). If beans are an issue maybe chickpeas? Theres tons of great recipes. If you roast them and add salt they're delicious. Maybe try to find a salad he likes. He might enjoy Quinua (or however it's spelt). When I began vegetarian it was a journey.
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u/Keadeen 5d ago
Check out the vegetarian replacement products. Really handy one for one swaps in a lot of cases.
Eggs are great for protien, aminoacids and micronutrients.
Learn how to cook tofu. Theres a lot of different types and a lot of different ways to cook it.
You can blend beans into a sauce and hide the texture of them to boost protien and fibre.
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u/Suspiciouswhaler 5d ago
Make sure he’s eating a multivitamin with iron, and minimalist baker is an excellent vegan baking website. They supersede vegan recipes tasting bad. And to make it just vegetarian you can always use eggs and regular milk instead. One note: real eggs and milk contain iodine and choline 2 things you won’t get from vegetarian foods in any real measure so they are helpful to keep in the diet. Source: I was dairy free and egg free and learned the consequences
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u/LongjumpingHouse7273 5d ago
My kid lives off of:
Peanut butter on graham crackers
Cream cheese on toast
Fruit
Cucumber
Carrot
Sweet breads that I make with sweet potato/pumpkin
Oh and cheezits
He is growing like a weed and gets glowing bills of health from his doctor.
He doesn't identify as vegetarian but it is rare he eats meat. He eats a lot more than I listed here but this is his main menu. He can have cream cheese toast as much as he wants but peanut butter on graham crackers is restricted to dinner because of the sugar in the crackers (he would also be welcome to eat the peanut butter on the toast but he won't). He eats the dave killer bread and prefers that anyway so while it's more expensive it definitely plays a big part in his nutrition.
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u/SubstantialPressure3 6d ago
I would honestly talk to him and let him know that vegetarians are going to be eating a lot of vegetables.
You don't want a picky kid that lives on bean burgers and spinach nuggets.
And a lot of vegetarian things are made from soy, meaning soy BEANS.
I would say for now to let him leave out a single animal protein that he's particularly bothered by, and tell him being a vegetarian is going to be a goal to work for, once he learns to balance his diet.
One of my kids was a vegetarian for 3 years, and a vegan for 5. But this started when she was about 9 and was able to start learning some very basic cooking skills ( with supervision, of course).
I don't think it's a good idea to let him become a complete vegetarian until he's old enough to take some of the responsibility for his own food, and start learning to cook it himself. I don't think it's healthy for someone to make decisions about what sort of food they are and aren't going eat, without having any of the responsibility of preparing it, regardless of their age.
Also, he's going to have to pack "safe foods" whenever he goes somewhere.
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u/clinicallyacat 6d ago
He doesn’t need to know what soy beans are. Soy products don’t taste like beans, especially tofu.
If he wants to be vegetarian, OP needs to honor his wishes. I went pescatarian when I was 7 and I was absolutely fine.
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u/SubstantialPressure3 6d ago
You were fine.
My point is you don't want to raise someone who is picky about food, doesn't know anything about food, has no idea about what goes in it, how it's made, doesn't appreciate the effort, etc. It sets a bad precedent.
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u/clinicallyacat 6d ago
I was picky. I was still fine. Tofu and beans are easy to blend into other foods to make sure you eat enough protein.
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u/layyla4real 6d ago
Spinach nuggets?
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u/SubstantialPressure3 6d ago
Yeah I always saw them in the refrigerated section of vegetarian stuff in the produce section of the grocery store. But they are probably in the frozen section, too. I've seen spinach nuggets, broccoli nuggets, and sweet potato nuggets.
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u/JustKindaHappenedxx 6d ago
Vegetarian here. I don’t think those are eaten by vegetarians as much as parents trying to “sneak in” veggies for their kids.
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u/layyla4real 6d ago
Some new product I have never seen.
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u/SubstantialPressure3 6d ago
Spinach nuggies are marketed for vegetarians, the other nuggies are marketed for kids.
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u/gafromca 5d ago
I’m going to offer a contrary option. When my daughter was young she loved watching nature shows about wild animals. That inevitably led to videos of lions eating a gazelle or a big fish swallowing a small fish. This allowed discussions about animals needing to eat a species appropriate diet. Nature is amazing but also harsh.
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u/orensiocled 6d ago
If he will eat anything with sauce, beans can be blended into sauces without being super obvious.
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u/Ok_Membership_8189 6d ago
Can you reintroduce beans through Mexican refried beans and rice? I wouldn't eat beans as a child, well into my, perhaps almost 30. I got a burrito that had refried beans in it, by mistake, as I hadn't read the ingredients carefully enough. It was SO good. Changed my view of beans entirely and now I love them.
My picky eating was emotionally influenced, as I expect your child's might be (due to ASD).
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u/ArgumentSpiritual 6d ago
I love meat substitutes.
Tofurkey Italian sausage is one of my favorites
I also make a blackbean seitan gyro meat.
I sometimes make a more chicken like seitan
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u/Dismal_Fox_22 6d ago
There are good enough substitutes for everything. Both me and my AuDHD son are veggie and my husband is not. I’ve never struggled to replace meat with TVPs or alternatives.
If you have specific meals you know he likes and are worried about maintaining it would be easier for us to suggest replacements.
Spag Bol, lasagna, mince, cottage Pie etc yes quorn or Linda mince.
Chicken nuggets use quorn, they are better than the real thing.
Tesco plant based frozen sausage rolls are top tier.
Linda pulled chicken makes great tacos.
Richmond vegetarian sausages are good enough to fool my mums cats (they don’t get to eat them but they want them - cats needs meat, if you want pets be prepared to feed them meat!)
I’m happy to help with translating his reliable safe foods into veggie versions.
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u/RequiemofTime2 6d ago
My only advice would be to find beans he likes, like, I hate the texture of beans, so I actually prefer black beans becausethey'renot mushy, so maybe try different bean varieties.
Also, consider lentils in place of meat or beans, or dips, like hummus or bean dips.
You could make a vegetarian shepherds pie, using lentils in place of the meat, or lentil bolognaise for pasta.
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u/layyla4real 6d ago
He likes peas and they are legumes with lots of protein.
There are so many vegan products available today. There are beyond burgers and not chicken nuggets. I began by checking out Whole Foods market to see their inventory. Then looked for those items in less expensive markets.
Begin with an internet search for vegan recipes and chefs, etc. It's all out there and much is free.
Veganism is a shock at first to people who have always defined a meal as being meat. He's going to open up a whole new world for you.
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u/Anna-Livia 6d ago
Legumes and cereals are not restricted to beans and rice. Depending on what he already eats, you can introduce him gently to more starchs, to see if there is anything he likes like red lentils (can go into a purée or soup) or split peas (same). Whole wheat pasta is also an option to get him fibers without getting too far from knwn territory.
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u/Old_Mail1566 6d ago
You can blend silken tofu into basically any sauce. I also love pea protein powder. Potatoes have a lot of nutritional value. Cheese and eggs are good easy protein sources. Gummy multivitamins may be good.
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u/Smart-Assistance-254 6d ago
If he is still willing to eat eggs, that makes it much easier. Tofu is also a good option, but you don’t want to use processed “meat” like those fake chicken nuggets too much. That’s typically not super healthy.
Perhaps look into local eggs from happy pet/small farm chickens? It’s hard to find fault with that if his concern is the impact on the animals. Domestic chickens kept by homeowners/small farms live longer lives than they would in the wild, and are typically happy.
Also check in with his doctor to see if he should be on any specific vitamins based on his diet change. It can be tricky to get some of the animal-based nutrients if you are a selective eater and vegetarian or vegan.
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u/mayfeelthis 5d ago
Yes it's possible
Learn to use legumes, there are so many types. You can essentially replace meat in anything.
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u/justnegateit 5d ago
Morning star makes super sensory friendly food, but you don't want to rely too heavily on the super processed stuff. I love veggie nuggets (Aldi's has my favorite and the frame in a bunch of fun shapes). And don't forget, dairy is protein. Potatoes are satiating and contain a wide range of things our bodies need. For context I'm 24, high masking autism w/ ARFID. I love food, just... Very specific foods.
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u/EggieRowe 5d ago
Hide the beans. I just made chickpea chocolate chip cookies and they were great. A little rough digestively but that’s what I get for eating 4 in a day as an infrequent bean/lentil/pulse eater.
I have a textural issue with this food group. If you can hide it then I’m cool. I love hummus and you can make it with butter beans, black beans, edamame, etc. My favorite is butter bean with carrot chips to dip. Black bean brownies is another great way to sneak them in.
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u/amandahontas 5d ago
Tofu can be made with a ton of different textures and flavors! You can play around with that, whether it's making crispy tofu bites or bulking up a mac and cheese sauce with extra protein or any other number of things. I think it's also really important to involve his doctor with this to make sure he's getting proper nutritional support.
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u/TJH99x 5d ago
Since he likes peas, maybe try edamame, it has some good protein. Maybe eggs, tofu, nut butters, high protein yogurt or yogurt/protein drinks. You can really find so much stuff with protein added these days, even cookies. Some of it is vegan, some not. It depends on how strict no-animal product you want to get if it’s just no meat for not and he wants to get more into the details gen he’s older.
Try some pearled couscous as a rice alternative. I’m kind of obsessed with it right now. To me, it’s a super fun texture.
I love Noracooks dot com for a vegan website and on Insta Soph’s Plant Kitchen.
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u/FineDevelopment00 5d ago
Over the past month he’s been increasingly concerned about eating meat and the effect it has on animals, and has told me multiple times he wants to be a vegetarian.
Sounds like someone has been propagandizing him. Have you properly educated him about the food chain, the biological reasons for why different species have different diets (a human's digestive system isn't that of a herbivore so trying to eat like a herbivore will carry negative health consequences), how farming (both animals and plants, after all countless animals get killed for crops too) and nature actually operate? If you haven't, he's easily susceptible to vegan brainwashing and that will harm him. You need to be the parent and nip this sudden phase in the bud through teaching facts and dispelling lies.
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u/Watsons-Butler 4d ago
Lots of Asian recipes with tofu. Lots of Indian recipes with chickpeas, lentils, paneer, etc.
He still needs protein and all the amino acids, so he can’t just live on peas and broccoli. But you might be able to sell it with a clear “ok, we can try a vegetarian diet, but there are nutrients your body needs that you have to get from somewhere.”
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u/LoveLess6734 6d ago
If he’s concerned about animal welfare, you can get him more information about ethical farming. There’s an adage for small farmers raising meat, “one bad day”, that describes the life of a meat animal. The goal is to keep them happy and healthy until that day. See if there’s a local farm you’d be able to tour, meet some of the animals. It’ll be more expensive but you can source meat from places like that. If he’s still concerned and doesn’t want to eat any meat, that’s fine, and thank you for supporting him
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u/Zestyclose-Box-6742 6d ago
Sorry, trying to sugarcoat the lives of animals bred for food is worse. Would you think it was humane if puppies were bred for meat and then slaughtered at six months of age? I'm not trying to convince you to stop eating meat, but basically lying to your child by omission is not helpful.
Meat animals are typically slaughtered at a fraction of their natural lifespans to optimize meat tenderness, weight, and production efficiency:
- Chickens (Broilers / Meat Breeds): 5 to 6 weeks (Natural lifespan: up to 8 years)
- Ducks: 7 to 8 weeks (Natural lifespan: 6 to 8 years)
- Rabbits: 10 to 12 weeks (Natural lifespan: 8 to 12 years)
- Turkeys: 10 to 17 weeks (Natural lifespan: up to 15 years)
- Goats: 12 to 20 weeks (Natural lifespan: 12 to 14 years)
- Geese: 15 to 20 weeks (Natural lifespan: 8 to 15 years)
- Pigs (Market Hogs): 5 to 7 months (Natural lifespan: 10 to 12 years)
- Lambs / Sheep: 4 to 12 months (Natural lifespan: 12 to 14 years)
- Beef Cattle: 18 to 30 months (Natural lifespan: 15 to 20 years)
- Veal Calves: 1 to 24 weeks (Natural lifespan: 15 to 20 years)
- Dairy / Breeding Cows (Culled): 3 to 5+ years (Natural lifespan: 15 to 20 years)
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u/LoveLess6734 6d ago
Yup, factory farming sucks. That’s why I mentioned small local farmers, who often do things differently
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u/Zestyclose-Box-6742 4d ago
Small local farms still kill animals or sell them to be killed. For example, in order to get milk, you have to keep cows perpetually pregnant, and something needs to be done with the male calves. If you have a farm where you just take care of the animals and don't kill them then it's not really a working farm.
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u/LoveLess6734 4d ago
Yes, I never claimed they don’t kill/slaughter animals. But there’s a difference between raising a male cow in a small pen for a couple weeks before slaughtering for veal and letting it live on pasture for a year or two. If you still have issues with that, I respect that. But I believe that meat can be raised ethically, with respect for the animals
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u/Zestyclose-Box-6742 4d ago
I still disagree with the ethics but I appreciate your civil comments. I rarely discuss my ethical beliefs about animals either online or in my personal life unless someone asks.
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u/LoveLess6734 3d ago
Thank you! This is a complex issue with strongly held beliefs but it’s very important to be able to discuss it. Thanks for engaging 👍
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u/Sea_Sider3898 5d ago
One bad day is a gross concept honestly. Yuck. It’s a really REALLLLY bad day.
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u/Eskarina_W 6d ago
Is a gradual transition likely to be easier? And more sustainable long-term? Start out with 1 vegetarian day a week. Keep the favourite meat aldishes on rotation at first alongside and each week switch one up so maybe tofu stir-fry instead of chicken, a Quorn Bolognese instead and of beef mince etc.
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u/Tree_Ring 6d ago
As the mom of an adult on the spectrum who started their journey to a serious eating disorder with restricting various food groups, I’d push back a bit in a gentle way, since your child is omitting beans and rice, super important to vegetarians. I’d say matter of factly, “I hear you and that’s why our chicken is free range. When you are really big you make your own shopping choices. Right now our family values are to eat together, including meat.”
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u/Lady_of_the_Briar 6d ago
Question, have you ever talked to your son about how food is made? Where it comes from?
My daughter and I are both autistic, and when she was about 3 or 4 we got on the topic of hotdogs (we'd been watching "How Its Made" and other similar shows) which led down the usual rabbit hole of explaining all kinds of other foods and where they come from. At first, she was a little upset at the idea of all the animals she loves being potential food... but we talked about the difference between pets/friend animals, and food animals. I also tracked down a bunch of videos about animal farming and watched them with her so she could understand more about how it all works. We also talked about moderation, and consumption. (We're not vegan or vegetarian, but I go out of my way to not be a typical american, and we do not chow down on a huge amount of meat on a regular basis.) I also introduced her to advocates like Temple Grandin (who is also autistic, and I got to meet her!) and ethical animal farming and all that other fun stuff.
Now she's almost 9 and her favorite food is still bacon. I don't make it often, but when I do she is in heaven, and will hilariously joke to her plate that "Piggies are so cute, AND SO DELICIOUS!" I think just being really clear and honest with her about where the food comes from, and the process, helped her a lot. I was like that as a kid, too, so I think she's in a similar place on the spectrum as I am. I benefited a LOT from just having all the information, and she seems to be the same way.
With your kiddo, I'm wondering if someone said something, or he read/watched something, that made this particular thing stick in his mind?
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u/Sea_Sider3898 5d ago
I don’t get making the distinction between pet animals and food animals tbh. A lot of animals that are killed to be eaten are incredibly intelligent and social (with each other and with humans)
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u/Maleficent_Tough2926 5d ago
Yeah there’s really no ethically defensible difference here.
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u/Lady_of_the_Briar 5d ago
The ethics of how we treat animals? Its always important. Just because something is food doesn't mean we should torment them while they're alive.
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u/Maleficent_Tough2926 5d ago
No, there’s no difference ethically between pet animals and food animals.
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u/Lady_of_the_Briar 4d ago
I mean don't get me wrong, I'd name all my animals, too. But bonding with them on the same level as my pets does seem odd to me. But, you do you!
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u/Maleficent_Tough2926 4d ago edited 4d ago
I’m saying that ethically, there is no defensible difference between the animals you choose to bond with and the animals that you don’t. The ability to bond with them is immaterial to whether it’s ethical to kill them for food.
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u/Lady_of_the_Briar 4d ago
Either you didn't proofread, or you have no idea what you're talking about, because that made no sense.
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u/Lady_of_the_Briar 5d ago
Sure. And in the wild they would be eaten by predators, too. We're omnivores, and the top of our food chain. Nature is as nature does. We might be intelligent animals, but we're still animals, too.
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u/Sea_Sider3898 3d ago
And because we are intelligent we have the ability (and responsibility) to be ethical and caring and not selfish
Sure, meats might be delicious (there are quite a few meat smells I find very tempting) but we can rise above that and decide to skip food that means a smart, social creature needs to … die?
I have no qualms about skipping my momentary enjoyment of chewing on the flesh of something to give that something the chance to continue living
My kids happily agree, even as pre teens0
u/Lady_of_the_Briar 3d ago
I agree, ethical farming is a *must*. And as I said, we personally don't eat that much, either! But the amount of consumption is only part of the problem anyway. The amount and the method are equally important, imo, but tackling ethical farming is way more practical than trying to convert people (like my relatives) to some semblance of moderation. Not that I think we should stop trying to encourage people to eat a healthy variety of foods, we should! But at least with ethical farming practices, that can be accomplished with regulations and oversight.
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u/RawMeatballz 6d ago
Don’t. He’s six
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u/q-the-light 6d ago
Bad advice. I turned vegetarian when I was about the same age (and have been vegan the majority of my adult life) - at around 6, you start to connect the dots between the cute pig you saw at the petting zoo and the ham in your sandwich. If my parents hadn't have facilitated me going veggie at that age, I would simply have refused to eat.
OP would be doing wonders by empowering her son to have agency over what he's willing to put in his body, and doing so will only improve his relationship with food rather than turning it into a distressing power-struggle for all involved. He may only be veggie for a few weeks, or he might never eat a dead animal again (just like me).
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u/RawMeatballz 6d ago
Letting kids at that call the shots is a bad idea
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u/q-the-light 6d ago
So according to you, what age is a person allowed a say in what they ingest? Because forcing anyone to eat something they fundamentally disagree with is a horrible thing to do to an individual. It's not letting kids 'call the shots', it's respecting the fact they're their own person and should be allowed some amount of say over what they put in their bodies. You're not going to let a 6 year old dictate every single meal as though you're their personal chef, but it's completely reasonable to allow a child to say 'this is an ingredient that makes me very upset and uncomfortable, and I do not want to be forced to eat it' (or words to that effect) and to respect that.
I don't know a single adult who will eat absolutely every possible thing, so what age do you think a person should be allowed to have dietary preferences?
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u/RawMeatballz 6d ago
Not 6. What about when they say they want to learn sex ed, get into politics, things like that? They aren’t developed enough to know their favorite color
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u/q-the-light 6d ago
Oh dear... you really don't understand that 6 year olds are people who absolutely do deserve to be included in matters of the world in developmentally-appropriate ways, do you? So, I ask again; at what age do you personally believe an individual deserves to be treated as a whole ass person with their own valid and respect-worthy thoughts, feelings, preferences, opinions, etc? As I'm yet to meet a 6 year old without any of those character traits!
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u/RawMeatballz 6d ago
When they’re older. OP says they have the same feelings, guarantee they’ve pushed this
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u/MinuteElegant774 6d ago
I think your view may be different bc you are a vegetarian. For omnivores, if your kid is already not eating a lot of foods, unless he agrees to eat more veg, rice and beans and lentils, it’s hard to provide a balanced diet. But I’m an omnivore so my view may be skewed as well.
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u/ApprehensiveArmy7755 6d ago
Explain to him the importance of protein. That he can live meat free as long as he gets the required amount of protein. Show him the scientific facts so that he understands how essential it is for his growth and development. Explain what sources of protein are available. Make a chart or list. Dairy products like cheese, yogurt and cottage cheese. Eggs ( they arent meat). Hummus, beans, lentils, etc. Make sure he knows how many servings of protein he needs. Make sure you understand
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u/cajolinghail 6d ago
A lot of people who aren’t vegetarians overestimate how difficult it is to get protein.
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u/layyla4real 6d ago
This is so true!
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u/ApprehensiveArmy7755 6d ago
I'm not a vegetarian. I just know if you intend to live meat free- better educate yourself.
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u/layyla4real 6d ago
From experience I can tell you that it's less about education and more about changing deeply ingrained habits.
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u/cajolinghail 6d ago
B12 is more of a concern than protein. There are lots of vegetarian foods that are high in protein.
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u/ApprehensiveArmy7755 6d ago
B12 is important. They are both equally important. I'm sorry I posted because I am not pro or con. I was just giving advice. People love to insult others
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u/cajolinghail 6d ago
But not getting enough B12 is a more realistic risk. And I don’t think anyone is insulting you. It’s just frustrating as a vegetarian to have people constantly fear-mongering about your dietary choices, like implying that it’s challenging to get enough protein when that’s not really the case. If there were a post about letting a child eat meat you wouldn’t see numerous comments about how that increases your risk of heart disease, diabetes and cancer (even though that’s true).
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u/Lilacs_orchids 6d ago
Literally, and kids that age don’t even need that much protein, maybe like 20g.
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u/Zestyclose-Box-6742 6d ago
He's six years old. He doesn't need to manage his own meals to that degree. There's been a huge overemphasis on protein in the past 10 years or more, to an absurd degree, especially in unscientific "wellness" culture.
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u/Moonster68speaks 6d ago
Why? He is 6.
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u/cajolinghail 6d ago
Because children are people and should have bodily autonomy.
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u/Moonster68speaks 6d ago
Yes, teach choices but do not allow him to rule the house. He is 6 and food varieties is a good thing.
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u/cajolinghail 6d ago
Not eating animals is not the same as just eating junk food all day. Your advice is good if you want your children to go no contact as soon as they turn 18.
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u/Moonster68speaks 6d ago
no - its teaching the world will not cater you. If he wants to stop eating meat doesn't mean everyone in their household has to stop too
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u/According-Sir3777 5d ago
I wouldn't allow my kid to be vegetarian... Way too many health problems with it
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u/According-Sir3777 5d ago
That's false. There's actually tons of evidence. You just don't want to look at it
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u/Vivid-Operation-5078 4d ago
Roughly 450 million people in India are vegetarian, and they clearly aren't dying off to be fair
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u/Expensive_Ducks 6d ago
Genuinely introduce vegetarian stuff slowly. A meal once a week and then slowly increase from there as you see fit. A big sudden change can have seriously bad health consequences. My gallbladder basically died withing a few weeks of fully switching to full vegetarian with a quick sudden change.
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u/nothnxihaveabf 6d ago
How did your six year old learn about vegetarianism lol.
You should use the excuse that people do about beer, only adults can be vegetarian you need to eat meat
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u/Illustrious_Pair3297 6d ago
When I was 4 I learned sausage came from pigs and I sobbed and demanded that we bury the sausage, and lamented that the daddy and mommy, sister and brother pigs would be looking for the pig I ate but would never be able to find him.
3 days later I was back to eating sausage, but some other kids have longer lasting empathy lol
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u/PositiveShoulder406 6d ago
We can be perfectly healthy without abusing animals. Of course dairy+ eggs are horrific animal crielty. Forcing someone to abuse someone is double abuse. Forcing someone to abuse someone is abuse. The victim you force them to have is your victim of abuse
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u/nothnxihaveabf 6d ago
Having a kid is abuse because your kid will no doubt suffer, but here we are so
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u/Ok-Juice-4061 6d ago
Please stop saying the word picky. This is labeling and he is getting a lot of attention from this. He is not picky. He just likes certain foods, just like every other person in this world.
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u/cajolinghail 6d ago
If he is autistic there is a pretty good chance he has ARFID which goes way beyond “being picky“. I agree “picky“ can have negative connotations and might not be the best way to speak about a child.
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u/Forsaken_Ad5622 6d ago
Apologies, I’m not attempting to speak about my child negatively, I was just trying to explain the situation in the best words I have. He has restrictive eating habits and broadens his horizons more when he’s feeling supported and has less fatigue from demands.
I did short hand to “picky” without thinking because I was trying to quickly post and expected maybe a couple responses at best. I’ll keep that in mind in the future since I do want to affirm him as much as possible!
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u/Altruistic_Offer9381 6d ago
Sweet potatoes prepared different ways (roasted, mashed etc) with some kind of dipping sauce or with sourcream. You can blend cannellini beans into sauces like pasta sauce. I would try different textures of tofu (firm, soft, silken) with a familiar sauce like a teriyaki and pair with veggies. Silken tofu can also be blended into a cheese sauce. You could try quinoa with lots of butter and cheese. If he doesnt like whole beans, I would try refried pureed smooth (use less liquid so theyre more pasty) in a bean and cheese burrito. Smoothies with greens and fruit and greek yogurt. Broccoli and cheddar quiche. Most kids love salty nori snacks too. Explore lentils. Hummus and carrots. They also have a bunch of interesting stuff in the vegan frozen section of grocery stores like breaded spinach patties etc. Amys also makes a bunch of meatless frozen things that are quite good and use tofu.
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u/Illustrious_Pair3297 6d ago
New here, the sub is called "picky eaters" so why would using "picky" be an issue?
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u/cajolinghail 6d ago
It’s an issue because many people who have been called “picky eaters“ all their life actually have ARFID which is an eating disorder. Some people have reclaimed the term but some don’t like it when others use it about them (and some people in this subreddit ARE just picky eaters without ARFID and aren’t bothered by the word at all).
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6d ago
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u/clinicallyacat 6d ago
You shouldn’t force a child to eat meat if that’s not what they believe in. Kids are their own humans, their wishes need to be respected.
I’ve been pescatarian since I was 7, and if my parents had forced me to eat meat, I would’ve gone no contact as soon as I turned 18.
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u/antimathematician 6d ago
This is a pretty awful take. I cannot imagine believing children aren’t deserving of autonomy because they’re too young to move out yet?? Like just don’t have them, get a dog you can dress up and feed whatever brand of dog food you want
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u/iliketheclouds 6d ago
Sheesh. There is no rain for this of it can be afforded. This isn’t the 30s and we aren’t all surviving on the land. He has a valid reason for not wanting meat. Just watch his protein and iron intake. Get done premade tidy nuggets and toss them in the air fryer, have him design a kids protein shake.
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u/layyla4real 6d ago
Iron isn't an issue for vegans. The one nutrient we have to watch out for is a B vitamin, but I just woke up and I can't remember which. We took it as a supplement initially just to be sure.
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u/EggplantHuman6493 6d ago
Tbf, as a picky vegetarian, I just eat meat substitutes a lot. Tofu is also easy to find etc. Things like lentils are also great!
And you can blend vegetables in sauces etc as well, so you can make some pastas?