I feel evil

[u/Alternative_Ad_2302]

How do you get over the fact that you have done some bad things in your past, not terrible but just things like:

- facilitating in leaving someone out of a group for a shallow reason (a boy).
- telling a friend things about your boyfriend that would raise alarm bells then getting upset when they said I deserved better and almost ending the friendship
- getting mad over something as petty as people not remembering my birthday and cutting them off completely
- in primary school but still haunts me to this day… writing a letter for my friend saying I was going to kill myself, repeatedly saying no one likes me for attention
- Not helping a friend who had food thrown at her because I wanted to talk to a guy I liked

I don’t know how to cope with the fact I’ve done these things. I live in the same village as some of the people I did this to and so I could walk past them at any moment, I can’t help but get racked by guilt sometimes even though some of these things happened years ago.

I’ve done some things that are really not very girl coded. It feels like this will just evolve into a stereotype now and I will never escape it. How do you even go about life and making friends without just feeling like you’re inherently gonna be a terrible friend? I try really hard to be a good friend but I just get haunted by things I’ve done in the past and it prevents me from making new ones.

[u/Im_C_O_T_W]

You shouldn't let things that happened in the past control your future, by the sounds of it you were a child. People grow and it seem like you are.

Move forward and be the friend you wish you had.