Too embarrassed to function

[u/SnooEagles5392]

Please bear with me I've even annoyed myself with this story. I was acquainted with this guy through work and after he left we stayed in contact. I grew fond of him and wondered if he felt the same however the stakes felt too high to ask him directly since we have friends in common that he was quite close to and I still work with them. I worried it would become a whole thing since they like to pry and ask about him in particular and my romantic life in general, even pushing me towards other male coworkers, making comments about my age and how I needed to settle down (I'm in my mid twenties and they're in their thirties and divorced which makes it all the weirder), asking if I knew anyone at all I could marry : an ex classmate, a family friend, anyone at all.

Anyway, eventually this guy moved countries and I found myself still questioning everything that happened so I decided I would try to get clarity from him then. As you can imagine it didn't go too well. The conversation went like this:

Me : i thought you likes me at first then irealized im bad at reading ppl haha.

Him : haha depends what you mean by like i thought youre nice and trustworthy.

Me : well thats nice.

Him : why do you ask.

Me : i just thought it doesnt matter anymore.

Him : i never did anything to make you think that idk why you woud think that.

Me : im not accusu=ing you of anything sorry.

Him : i didnt say that dont be sorry i just thought maybe i said or did something.

Me : its fine no problem.

Me : please don't tell the others about this conversation.

Him : of course it's obvious what's wrong with you.

Clearly it's a disaster but I've managed to somewhat get over the initial heartbreak and decided not to remove him from social media because I didn't want it to fuel the gossip. However, recently my birthday passed and he didn't say anything despite seeing the posts and stories about it. I don't really expect him to but it still hurt. I wished him a happy birthday when his birthday passed (albeit it was before that conversation) despite being mad at him and then he blamed me for not contacting him anymore. So to see it was this bad for him makes me relive the embarrassment over again. I ended up removing him from social media and recently a coworker came up to me saying he spoke to him. They haven't mentioned him in a moment so I guess the social media removal was the trigger or perhaps I'm overthinking it all because I feel embarrassed and watched.

I do realize it's all ridiculous in the grand scheme of things but it's a part of my life.

[u/WeatherWise9807]

Its alright it happens. But just know that sometimes ppl are just being nice and may not like you romantically.

In my previous job. A guy started to talk to me more and he would help me with work and my duties. I really didn’t think anything of it bc other guys would also help me and i know it wasn’t a big deal & he sometimes would have to do those duties bc they will make it part of his job for the day. So i didn’t put much attention to it. This was around summer time so it was hot and we would work in the dock.

He helped me and it was super busy that day so i do appreciate his and other ppls help. So a token of my gratitude i bought him a soda. Biggest mistake! Just bc i bought him a soda he thought i liked him! 🫩 No i do not. And then brought it up over text and bc i don’t he got very upset and started to give me attitude and get mad. Like what the hell! I told him i never said or did anything to make you believe that so idk why you would think that. I asked him “is it bc i got u a soda!?? 🫨 im like i buy everyone a soda, if they help me. But anyways yeah he was like oh sorry i read the signals wrong. Im like what signals!??? There were no signals.

But yeah sometimes ppl are just being nice.