I had to let my baby Jazzy go on Thursday. She made it to 18 which was so much longer than I thought she would. My college best friend and I got her and her littermate when they were only 7 weeks old and she has been the other half of my heart ever since. My house is so quiet without her constantly yelling at me. I feel like part of my soul is missing.

I just found this subreddit yesterday and looking at all of your old babies has made me feel so warm and comforted. So thank you for reading and thank you for taking such good care of your babies 💜

We just got back from the vet with our 19-year-old cat. We moved up his checkup appointment (originally scheduled for Friday) to today, after a rough night.

His blood work is excellent. But neurologically, he’s not doing well. His condition has gradually deteriorated over the past two months. He’s gone from being an alert senior cat who still went out into the garden to a disoriented old cat unable to find his way back from the patio.

He can’t see anything anymore, and his hearing and sense of smell are very poor. He’s very disoriented at home and meowing anxiously at night. He no longer recognizes the rooms and keeps spinning in circles, always in the same direction. Last night, he forgot where his litter box was and relieved himself in the living room.

The vet suspects a brain tumor. We’ve decided not to do an MRI. What’s the point of putting him through risky anesthesia just to confirm something that’s incurable? The vet prescribed prednisone for 10 days to see if the symptoms improve. But this is clearly palliative care.

I didn’t expect to hear the words “last days or last weeks.” Months, maybe. It’s hard. It hurts so much. I love him so much.

Pic is from March, just chilling in his heated bed.

EDIT. Thank you all for you kind words and your support. Right now, Chachou is sleeping on his heated bed. We are enjoying a nice warm and quiet Saturday afternoon. I'm trying not to mourn him already but my head hurts from crying so much since this morning. He's taken care of, with lots of Churus whenever he wants. But mostly we let him sleep to reduce his anxiety from disorientation when awake. We're monitoring him closely to see how he will react to the medecine. I believe today is not the day, but it will be soon. We will do what's best for him when the time comes. Thank you again ❤️

My 9 y/o male neutered cat was diagnosed with metastatic lung cancer. I took him in 8 weeks ago because of decrease in appetite and coughing and the vet just said it was anxiety and didn’t think anything of the cough. Then out of nowhere he grew a large tumor on his tummy that I brought him to a new vet for. Since it was hard they biopsies and did X-rays.

They said they messed up the biopsy so when it was sent to radiology they couldn’t tell me where or what the cancer was, but the X-rays look like the tumors spread throughout his lungs and his spleen was oversized.

They sent me home with 4 pills I’m supposed to give him of prednisone and gabapentin but did not give me much more info than that. My cat will absolutely not let me get more than 1 pill in his mouth and is hating and untrusting of me after. Plus it is inducing his coughing fits.

I spoke to an at home euthanasia vet who can come here since he hates the vet. I just cannot decide when to do it.

He definitely isn’t acting like himself. He’s sleepy, doesn’t want to be on my lap like normal, is sleeping with his legs under him like a loaf which isn’t normal.

He isn’t sleeping through the night either. He is eating and drinking and going to the bathroom normally and has interest in treats but I know he’s still in pain because he isn’t begging for human food or eating my hair like he normally does.

I don’t want say goodbye too soon if he’s still having more good times than bad, but also he is home alone while I’m at work 8:30-6:30 and the thought of him not being able to breath and being scared while I’m gone is my worst nightmare.

Counting his breaths if I’m doing it right they’ve been between 27-40 though I’m not certain I am counting correctly. To me it looks like he’s breathing harder than my other cat.

What would you do? Would you force the pills in his mouth even if he is hating you for it? Would you put him down now before he has his bad days?

I was certain I was going to do it tomorrow but last night he curled up next to me in bed and purred all night like he used to so I know some of him still wants to be around with me.

Please advise. I need someone to tell me what to do because this back and forth is so draining.

On Tuesday, October 13th, I had to say goodbye to my baby girl. She was 21. She ended up with both diabetes and Kidney disease; a common disease in elder kitties. She got them in the very late stages of her life, and she was doing amazing for about 2 years.

Whether it was the disease, diabetes or even old age, she hung on for as long as she could before she just couldn’t. I told her for years that she could let go, but she fought every time. Even on her last day, she put up a little fight with the vet when they were prepping her.

She went so peacefully. And I couldn’t ask for a better ending.

She was with me for so long. Her 3 weeks and me 16. She was always by my side, always cuddling with me, no matter where I was, went where ever I did. And now my room, and my heart are empty.

But she lived a wonderful life and I know she knew she was loved.

I will miss her, always and forever.

I hope to see you on the other side Cali girl. I love you.

Cabang is our eldest among 11 strays I've voluntarily adopted over years ago. She's turning almost 11 years old this November and I've been carefully picky about her food lately to avoid her getting danger from awful sickness.

She has a long history among her siblings and more wise nowadays, she avoids unnecessary fights and loves to watch and sleep in our front yard together with our other cats.

May she live long and I'll always be by her side, my oldest daughter of the house. 🏡😺

Our 14 year old boy, Spencer, has started showing signs of his aging recently. His meow has changed. It's more hoarse now. His weight has changed. He lost his chunky belly.

He's still himself, but every reminder that you're going to lose your brother some day hits hard. I'm 23. Spencer is 14-15. I grew up with him and he's my mom's baby, so that's why I call him brother.

Spencer was born at our house all those years ago. We were working with an animal rescue and my mom liked taking in pregnant animals because she was very good with them. We still tell tales of his mom walking up and down our hallways saying "hello? Hello?" Because Spencer speaks just like she did. Our mom loves having conversations with him. It's very cute, and it does often appear like he knows how to hold a conversation with a person.

All my grief is anticipatory now. It becomes that way after you lose so many loved ones. We lost Siva, Spencer's baby sister (she was about 4 years old) earlier this year to cancer. I had to put down a kitten I rescued, Soleil, this year too because he had been left to die as a feral. He was found laying in the middle of the street at night by my neighbor, already half dead and too ill and weak to move.

We lost Spencer's big brother, Tigger, to cancer a couple years ago. We kept Siva around because Spencer has never lived as an only cat. He still doesn't, thanks to the guy who showed up in our garage after I left the door open overnight. Mr. Monkey is the greatest gift from the cat distribution system 🥰 He not only comforts me, but makes sure Spencer still doesn't have to know life as an only cat.

Please just send us some good vibes because we want Spencer around forever!

(This post was originally made for Facebook so I tried to edit in some extra details for context, the only other thing to know is Bandit was hyperthyroid, arthritic, had kidney disease and recently-discovered heart disease with a gallop rhythm)

Oh, Bandit. My Onion Boy, my Bing, my Crustmeister 5000, my Grandpa Man. I could write a million words and it would never be enough to convey how absolutely devastated I am that you are gone, yet how honored I am to have become your Mom. I only wish we had more time. Bandit passed away in my arms this morning at 7:25. We were up with him the entire night because we just knew. We got to watch one more sunrise together and I hope you got to see it.

Bandit was dumped by a former neighbor who had moved out, a couple of years before we moved into our last rental (which was 2019). He came to see us every single day and spent hours on the porch with us. Once we learned he was dumped, we said that whenever we moved, he would come with us. But he could enjoy being a free man in the meantime.

Then the Alameda Fire in Southern Oregon happened, and Bandit went missing for nearly two weeks. My husband and I were in Redding, CA (a little over 2 hours away) when our neighborhood was evacuated and in the scuffle of my friends driving like hell from Ashland (we lived in Medford, about 20 mins north), throwing all of our cats, rabbits, and ferrets into one car and hightailing it out, there was no time to search the neighborhood for Bandit. We were devastated.

He came back two weeks later and was HAGGARD. Poor guy couldn’t meow from smoke inhalation. We took him into the vet that day, got him chipped, found out his giant list of medical complexities, and he’d been our shadow ever since. He helped us raise 3 kittens, he taught me that senior cats CAN learn to like a leash, and he is why I foster/rescue senior cats. Bandit had an ever-changing personality with new quirks abound as he got older. Despite his street-worn status, he never knew a stranger and every person, every animal, every bug was his friend.

I could talk forever into the void about Bandit but I know most have likely stopped reading by now. I will never stop talking about you. Every sleepless night, every $1,000 vet emergency, every bag of lactated ringers hanging from our wall, everything you yanked off the table and broke because you forgot you JUST ate, and every diaper change— I’d do it all again in a heartbeat. I will carry you everywhere. I love you. ❤️

Hello, I hope this is an okay place to share my grief.

A few days ago I lost my dear coal-kitty, my companion for over 15 years.

The first slide was her a few days before her final drive to the vet, the second slide the X-ray that would make the vet urge me to put her to sleep.

TW: The descriptions here are kind of graphic. Please only read it if you are absolutely able to.

She was a very timid cat, but a sweet one. Even as she was essentially suffocating with fluid across her entire body she'd still greet me with a small "brrt" and sought my attention, food, water, and exercise. She wanted to live and I took it away.

We used to not get along. When she was little she was understimulated and would often attack me. I was ill informed on why and resented her as a result, but I'd still take care of her, give her food, water, and change her litter. One wouldn't know when she would suddenly turn and absolutely maul my arm, though. My roommate at the time disliked her and another roommate would bully her with a flyswatter before he was hospitalised and passed away. She went from sleeping comfortably with me in my bed during her youth to barely wanting to be held by me at all in her aging years. Though we were finally truly getting along and she was playing, eating and she loved the garden chair in our backyard. She liked being pet and didn't mind being picked up.

I always wondered if she was content or not. Due to her athritis (I assume) she spent a lot of time sitting and purring (which she hardly ever did when she was little). She had interest in only a few toys, but due to her ailments she could only sort of wiggle her paws at them. I was scared that she was just in a neverending cycle of pain.

One day she was eating less and less, and that's when I took her to the vet, who'd take her to surgery to clean her teeth. It was clear though that she wouldn't be able to make it through another surgery. On more recent vet trips due to a UTI or signs of infection she began to throw up and pant in the car after less than half an hour of driving. It made me afraid to take her to the vet at all.

But she could finally eat and she loved dry treats and Churu. It was difficult though, because she'd still eat only a bit of every meal. I bought her some things to give her for Christmas, an advent calendar of cat-treats, and a wide variety of foods for her to try. She sadly never got to try them.

During the weekend I noticed that one of her front paws was swollen, and she'd occasionally sit down and breathe somewhat heavily, sometimes with her mouth open. I regret not taking her right away. I called the vet in tears on Monday, realising that her back paws were swollen as well and that she was panting with her mouth open sometimes. They still made me wait until the end of the day.

The swelling was painless and she was taken in for an X-ray, where I had to hear her yowl and hiss in distress, as she hated being handled by anyone but me. The vet pulled me aside to tell me that it wasn't looking good and that even an emergency clinic was risky, as she could suffocate at any minute. The X-ray shows her entire body being suffocated in liquid, which spilled out into her limbs. I couldn't afford an emergency clinic either.

My sweet girl had been so brave. I had to hold her with gloves as they injected a sedative that'd burn. The last meow I heard from her was a yowl of pain and a gentle warning bite. She'd stopped mauling me a long time ago. Even here she still would gently nip at me rather than bite me fully. She probably felt that I was the one hurting her and it tore me apart. She knew it was me. I brought her to my lap as she began to pass out quite quickly, trying to throw up but already being too weak. I pet her head and I was bawling at that point. I don't think I'll ever forget those wide, scared eyes as she was visibly struggling for every breath. She wanted to live. So badly. And I was ripping it away. It was already happening. I was so tempted to just beg the vets to save her instead, but I felt the sedative itself could kill her at this point, so I went through with having my cat put to sleep. We had to put her on the cold table where she got the final injection. Her body was so limp when I placed her back in the carrier. "She'd made it." the vet concluded after listening for her pulse/breathing.

She is now buried in a pretty, small grave in our back yard, where I light candles to remember her by. I let her return to the earth with her favourite toys and some treats and her favourite blanket.

I feel so immensely guilty. I'd always wished for her to have a wonderful evening to her life and a dignified end. Instead she died scared in a cold and sterile place, betrayed by the person she trusted the most, me. A part of me wonders if I dragged this poor, sweet and innocent animal with me rather than giving her up for adoption to a better owner because of my childhood trauma of losing my first cat, who was run over. She was taken to the vet by someone else, and I wasn't informed she had been put down until later. I swore to myself to keep this kitty and never leave her side until the end and I kept this promise, though I feel it has traumatised me. I feel like I neglected her, like I did everything wrong that could've been done wrong. I still replay the entire trip to the vet in my head over and over again. I wanted to make up for the time she spent suffering in our family, instead I feel like I'd neglected her and betrayed her when she so desperately wanted to live. I am falling back into a cycle of loathing myself, feeling empty, and crying at the loss of my only real companion, as I live alone.

I don't think I could bring myself to adopt another cat, or any animal for that matter. I am terrified to cause another innocent animal this same suffering. Yet, I have grown up and learned a lot about cats and how to respect their space and life over the years, so I really doubt that it would ever happen again. But the guilt is just too crushing.

What can I do? What should I do? I am at a complete loss.

Hello, everyone. This here is Faust (Fausty boy, Dr. Faustus, Mister Baby). He is 19 and 10 months, he is a sturdy little dude, and he has been on a special diet for kidney disease a good 4 years (we caught it early). His bloodwork levels continue to be stable, he is a celebrity at the vet office, he truly does not behave his age. Nothing gets this good boy down.

However, he recently went to the animal ER for rapid swelling in his face and the vet noticed an oozey abscess in his gums- they did not run x-rays there but referred him to possible dental surgery. Likely a bad tooth but we don't know officially yet. I have talked to three different practices but I cannot avoid the inevitable challenge: he has factors that make anathesia a high-risk situation.

In my area, the strongest appeal is for a practice that is absolutely top-tier with Board Certified vets and anesthesiologists. Top of the line. Had a long phone call and was told full disclosure, based on a review of his records, they estimated it could be a $4-6K investment. We simply cannot afford it ...especially with the emotional turmoil regarding the risk-that-shall-not-be-named.

The practice we are most interested in is still highly reputed but most importantly, I talked on the phone with someone there who mentioned pulse therapy. Hadn't heard of it before. As an alternative to surgery for a 19 year old geriatric cat with kidney disease, he would be on again/off again with antibiotics on a rotating basis... basically until he is ready for the rainbow bridge. Keeping infection at bay but continuing on with teeth in tact. She said the thing we love to hear: "honestly, if it were my 19 year old cat in this situation, it's what I'd choose."

Currently, he is on oral antibiotics for the initial infection and taking things like a champ. Again, he is a remarkably amiable cat and after nearly two decades of bonding, he trusts me implicitly.

Our vet appointment, consultation, x-rays and bloodwork is next week and I will have more detailed information. In the meantime- has anyone had this experience? Good results with pulse therapy opposed to dental surgery? Tell me your story. I adopted Faust when I was a spry 20 years old. I don't think my heart is ready to handle sending my bright and lively boy into surgery and him never coming back. I can't fathom the idea.

Our sweet baby is going to cross the rainbow bridge tomorrow and my husband and I are really struggling. He’s had her for almost 15 years and pretty much his entire adult life, I came into her life 8 years ago. She is the sweetest cat I have ever met. She has had heart problems for awhile and we did everything we could, giving her multiple daily medications, but she is now in congestive heart failure with fluid around her lungs and abdomen, the meds are no longer helping. While she is stable and happy now, the vet warned us that the disease can cause her to decline rapidly and it is a painful way to die. So we made the painful decision to let her last days be good ones and say goodbye to her tomorrow in our home where she is comfortable. It’s so hard knowing she won’t be there when we wake up, laying at the foot of our bed. A million things are going to remind me of her every day. I’m struggling so much but especially because she still seems so happy, she’s laying on our screened in porch right now in the sun. But I know she’s dying and I want to give her as peaceful a death as possible. I can’t stop crying, I love her so much.

We met Miranda at a shelter in January of 2017 (she was approximately 4) after we had just moved in together. As soon as we came into the room I did a wall sit and she immediately ran over and sat on my lap—I’ve been her person ever since. She has lived in 4 places with us, survived a 1000 mile road trip/move, and been with us for so much of our relationship and life achievements. The last year we were having to give her insulin w/ every meal and she was slowly losing weight and had a lot of complications because of it. She was such a loving and sweet cat. My true soul cat.

EDIT: thank you everyone for your kind words. Miranda was a truly amazing soul and she will be missed.

I’ve been lucky enough to spend the last 11 years loving this fabulous cat. He’s a total character, completely cuddly, and he’s been through many a trial in his life (including but not limited to, surviving both a car (which shattered his jaw), and a fox (which left him limping for months following)), but he’s still retained his kittenish ways, and I couldn’t imagine life without him. Love you, Cutie-Patootie Bubsy Boi!

My sweet bubby died of stomach cancer yesterday he was the sweetest most cuddliest orange boy i miss him so much I can't believe I'm never gonna hear his meow again. I had him his entire life as I also have his 14year old mother

My best friend passed away from kidney failure while i was at work, from the home camera i saw he was calling for me during his final hours, i wasn't there when he needed me most, and this guilt will stay with me forever

I took him to the vet that morning. Kidney disease. They gave me medications and special diet. I gave him his pills before i left for work. I kissed his head and told him I'd be back soon.

At work, i kept checking the camera on my phone. I wanted to see if he ate his food. But he wasn't at his bowl. He was lying by the front door. Still. Not moving.

I called my boss. No answer.i kept watching. He never moved. When i got home, he was still there. Cold. Gone. He died alone waiting for me while i was at work. I will never forgive myself, i keep thinking about him staring at that door, waiting for me, and i can't breathe. I don't want to be here without him. I don't want to feel the guilt anymore. I just want to be where he is.

Hello all!

I need some advice on my senior cat, Wally. Wally is almost 17 years old and was my grandma's cat. She passed a few months ago and I couldn't stomach the thought of Wally being put up for adoption so I decided to take him in. l've been providing the best care I can for him. He had gone to the vet a few months before my grandma passed and was healthy.

Lately I've noticed he's dropping weight and his appetite has really decreased. He's also peeing outside the litter box which he's never done. I've put out his regular food, soft food, and I do tuna every now and again. I just don't think he's got a great quality of life right now.

In my gut, I know the best course of action is probably to put him down. I honestly can't afford a bunch of testing that a vet would probably want to do and at what cost to Wally?

Can anyone help me on this? I feel extremely guilty and don't even know where to start. Do I just call up a vet and say what I just said?

I wanted to give Wally the best life I could after my grandma passed and I've done my best. I think he's also old and misses her.

If anything, thanks for reading. It's appreciated.

My 16f is still baby. Going blind, maybe senile, but as nimble and loving as she was 14 years ago. It's difficult to get good pics of voids

My sweet life companion recently hit the 5-month mark since she passed away, and it hurts so much. I miss Tilsa dearly. I still can't believe she passed this year at 12 years old. I never thought I would have to go through this. 😢😢😢

IT took 21yrs for you to leave me I just hoped form all the bad and the good u enjoyed every year you were with me

I've lost all of the 2005 pics since I've been lost tht phone but the oldest pic in my phone is 2015 when I started high-school so she's still a super senior by those standards I don't really remember the exact day I got her gifted to me but I was 5yrs old so I wasn't the best pet owner in my early years she ran way shortly after but 2weeks later she was under the porch crying and she never left my side since im ultimately destroyed im currently doing a gofundme to better my situation to take care of her but now im losing her instead im angry,sad,lost,and hopeless im deeply sorry I couldn't make you happy but I definitely tried my best with the little things I've had through out these years please forgive me when u finally pass( currently holding her) im not perfect im not right I'm just a 27yr old man with nothing and trying to make it all work im so srry

I don't even remember my life before her. She grew with me, changed houses with me, from childhood to adulthood.

She does so good. Nobody can even tell her age.

I didn't do anything special. Lots of love, she's a spoiled princess, but regular food, water, average litter. There were even sometimes I've not been such a good owner. COVID was hard. But she was always there for me. Never judged me, kept me in check, I stayed alive for her.

She's never given me any trouble or medical issues. I thought I was so blessed, but a lot of times I had the privilege to not worry about my old kitty.

Of course, I think from around 13? 14? the creeping thought of her death started to loom more and more.

And now it's so present.

She started coughing. For a couple months I thought it was hair balls, and then I stumbled upon a YouTube short showing a kitty with asthma. Thought oh, that's it then. But recently a colleague's senior kitty passed away, and I thought maybe I shouldn't assume I know what it is, she should get it checked out.

And so we did.

A lung tumor. They can't tell if it's cancer or an inflamed body. Either way, it has to go. Only option seems to be surgery. Either surgery, or to let it be. End of life care, eventual pain medication, anti inflammatories. But they told me so have a specialized consultant for cancer at the vet university. So I will.

I'm so scared and sad. I feel like a little kid again. My baby, my friend, my kitty, my Mia. I don't want her to suffer. She doesn't know anything. I'm her whole world and I'm crumbling. I need to be strong and I'm doing everything I can and I'm so happy I have savings to be able to try to give her the best chance, but damn it man. Couldn't she have a peaceful end of her life? Now her little ribs need to be opened to remove a tumor?

I'm sobbing just thinking about it. I don't her to be in pain.

My vets were very positive about it. But they recommend me talking to the specialized doctor either way.

But especially Mia's vet told me that her numbers are so good and her age is a risk, yes, but it shouldn't stop me from potentially saving her and getting a couple more years with her. If it's cancer, it will go to her bones and brain next. For now, it's a perfect, smooth, tumor.

The post surgery scares me too. I can't be home, I need to work. Who would watch her? My poor baby. What if it completely changes the cat she is, that much pain and confusion? Maybe I should ride out the years she has, let her be while she's fine and just with a little cough?

I'm hoping that the next specialized consultation will help me make out my mind.

I never post anywhere anything, especially not Reddit, but I was scrolling and I saw this community and read your stories and needed to pour my heart out.

My heart is broken but I know me and Mia are not alone.

Advice is welcome and I'd love to see your babies as well.

Attached are very recent photos of her. Turned 16 March.