So I'd been outta work for a couple months and was getting very discouraged. Got hired on a new place and did my first shift off training tonight.

Some background, I've been in the industry for 13 years, server, bartender, FOH mngr. This also means I'm not a spring chicken anymore. I've been a victim of ageism recently and it really got to me. Even though I always go hard and usually run circles around younger coworkers.

So my first solo shift tonight:

I made 2 mistakes but caught them before they went to the kitchen, didn't get in the weeds at all, AND made $102 in a four hour shift. 😊

Altogether a good night. I think it put me back in the groove.💜😎

I was pre-bussing my table tonight when I heard a really loud bang from a couple tables behind me, like a large balloon popped or something, then a lady screamed… the busy restaurant went dead silent.

I looked back, and realized that the lady who screamed had somehow dropped her extremely young infant while standing, and its head hit the fucking table. The scariest part was that the baby didn’t even start crying for like 10 full seconds.

I wouldn’t be surprised if it got permanent brain damage, the bang was so loud y’all. The mom took it to the bathroom for a few minutes, and when I briefly saw them again, the baby had a blank expression with a thousand-yard stare. I’ve never had a kid or baby family members so I don’t know if that’s normal?

But they just finished their meal for another half hour instead of going to the hospital FFS! Ugh, I can’t get that sound out of my head… that poor baby 😭

Ok guys. So. If you are gonna be in the bathroom for 15 minutes every roughly 30 to 45 minutes, and come back with your pupils blown talking 100mph arguing with your customers with a nosebleed, we ALL know what you are doing in there.

Your tables know. Your co-workers know. Your manager knows.

STOP DOING DRUGS AT WORK PLEASE.

Looking for advice from people who know this industry better than me. I’ve been working as an SA at a fine dining place for the last 6 months.

I get out of bed at 4am and average 4 hours of sleep a night if I’m working. My job involves a lot of constant manual labour - setting up the breakfast buffet, carrying heavy trays and washing dishes, cleaning the dishwasher, taking the very heavy trash down stairs etc. I’ve developed skin conditions on my hands from all of this and I am absolutely exhausted most of the time but somehow manage to power through.

When it’s particularly busy, and especially if I’m on the coffee machine that day, I can feel my nervous system frying. I don’t have a second to breathe or drink water sometimes. I had severe anxiety in the past and worked hard to heal my nervous system so I worry about the detrimental effects this job is having. We’re also very understaffed at the moment so I find myself getting increasingly angry when I’m made to do the work of two people. I also feel resentful when I see the servers or hosts walk in without having to do any of the manual labour I’ve already done that morning, or when they go on their breaks and I know I can’t even start my break because I have trash bags to take out or breakfast buffet items to pack away before I can.

For context, management really made a big song and dance about me when I first joined. They were very impressed by my wine knowledge and everyone kept saying they didn’t understand why I was in the back and not a server. I never expressed a desire to move up but they told me they were gonna train me to be a server and gave me a timeline that never ended up happening. It genuinely feels like I faded into the background and they forgot all about me. I’m new to the industry and I guess this taught me not to take any of that stuff seriously when it’s just words.

At this point I genuinely don’t care what I do next, whether it’s server or host or something else, but I just know I can’t be an SA much longer. I know every role has its unique challenges but being an SA is wrecking my physical and mental health.

I've had a lot of managers in my day, used to work a job where I had no joke 50 supervisors I worked under. A lot of them weren't qualified, not the brightest etc. But my current manager is probably the most uprofessional I've ever worked under if not at least in the running. My first week working this job she took a pregnancy test at work, on the clock, and had another server show her the results IN the server station. She then immediately turned around and tried to face time the baby daddy on the clock.

Every single night, the second it hits closing time shes on the phone with the same guy, speaker phone at max volume, doesnt matter if theres still customers inside or not, shes on the phone with him. Last week she called this guy, full volume speaker phone, while she was doing the scheduling, in the same room as a couple trying to enjoy their meal so they had to listen to her. Not only that but when I and the other server on duty had to talk to her, we had to talk to her with the guy on the phone able to hear everything.

She's gotten complaints of her personality and how inhospitable she is. I've requested time off and she's scheduled me that day and when ive asked about it she just asks, did you text me? I've been told she forgets about time off a lot. I just. I've had a lot of bad managers but she seems to have absolutely no regard for those around her and its driving me crazy.

To all my night staff ganja connoisseurs. What is your preferred way to partake:

A) wake up in the morning and hit that bong beside your bed the minute your feet touch the ground.

B) roll a couple small joints and go sit in the park somewhere you won't be seen.

B) wait until afternoon and then go into your garage to load your glass pipe and hit that a couple times.

C) while driving your car to work you hit the shit out of your cart multiple times. So you'll be a little high at work.

D) 20 minutes before work starts and you are ripping the fattest knife hits possible AFTER smoking that big ass black and mild blunt. Work? You got that shit on lock.

I (25F) have spent the last couple of years working as a server/bartender at various restaurants. I have also had other full time jobs, but right now I’m back in the restaurant industry for a bit.

I have a really great seasonal summer job that pays very well and I return to each summer, but it is not summer anymore so that job ended about a month ago. I started working at a new place (3 weeks ago) that a few of my coworkers from the summer job ended up at as well. It’s a tavern type establishment. I HATE it. I am making no money (less than $100 per night), I don’t like the other people who work there, I don’t like the customers, and I think the food and the kitchen are gross. It’s always painfully slow. I spend most of my shifts standing around waiting for customers. Long story short it’s just not a good fit for me, especially money wise. I need to be making way more than that and I know that that is possible and I’m selling myself short by working here.

I have applied to a handful of other spots and had an interview yesterday with a more upscale establishment that should pay better and I think be a better fit for me and my experience. They want me to come in to train next week, but of course my schedule for my current job is already out for next week and I’m supposed to work. I want to just work my shift tonight (Saturday) and tomorrow, and then just tell them I won’t be coming in for any future shifts. I know it’s technically unprofessional and the wrong way to go about it, but I’m losing my mind working here because I dislike it so much and NEED to make more money. I feel bad, I usually try to do things the right way, but I need to put myself first.

Part of me feels like I’d be an asshole to essentially quit with no notice, and leave them with no coverage for my upcoming shifts, but to be honest I don’t really care at the same time. This current place is so goddamn slow that most weekdays I’ll only have 5 or 6 tables in a night. I think they can manage without me for this upcoming week. Plus I’ve only worked here for 3 weeks. I don’t feel an obligation to them.

Anyways, would I be the asshole if I work my weekend shifts and then quit my serving job because I found another one that pays better, suits me, and wants me to start next week?

Guys how bad is the server business for yall ? Were not doing great our sales are way down and i work Friday’s Saturday and Sunday night with two other servers and we can barley get our sales past 1500 lately ive been at work for four hours with two tables this is getting rough and will it get better ? Ive been serving for tens years I’ve never seen it this slow around this time of year . Yes it slows down but were almost at a standstill. And the tables we get aren’t great ..

5 years of serving experience, and I just started at a new place training today. The anxiety was horrendous. Even at a place I served for 4 years, many shifts began with a chest full of dread and panic.

Going into my training shift today I needed propranolol and a glass of wine to get me in there, and throughout the shift itself the anxiety made me feel incompetent. My ability to carry a tray becomes non existent due to my embarrassingly shakey hands.

This makes me sad because I’ve had moments where I’ve loved it. I’ve made beautiful connections with regulars, have made best friends out of coworkers, it got me out of a financial ruin, among other things.

But the anxiety. I hope I’m not the only one.

anybody work at Del Frisco’s Grill? I saw online that they were hiring and I was wondering if anybody ever worked at the one in Rockefeller Center. It looks pretty solid, but just trying to figure it out.

I’m a 30 year old restaurant manager in a pretty small and rural tourist town and im once again feeling lost about what the hell I’m doing with my career. I keep thinking about if I have to go through these biannual breakdowns for the next five years and no retirement and no plan and then freaking out.
I’ve been with the same company for about 5 years. I started when they opened their first restaurant, helped them open their second, and have been officially managing for about a year and a half.
I’m currently at $18/hr with no benefits or bonus structure.
Right now, I manage FOH, scheduling, hiring/firing and HR, training, created all of our training materials and SOPs, do our liquor/beer ordering and vendor relationships with 6 distributors, inventory, menus and cocktail menus, social media, event menus, tasting dinners, and act as the middleman between the restaurant, hotel and catering when we have larger events in our event space coming through.
I’ve definitely kept the longest staff relationships either restaurant ever had, and revenue wise we’re already nearly 25% over our predicted annual revenue for this point in October.
I have a genuinely good relationship with the owners, especially the head chef that I work with in the current restaurant. However, there’s nobody above me managing me or helping me figure out what my role is supposed to be, exactly…. The only feedback I ever get is you’re so amazing! Keep doing what you’re doing! And then when I cry and freak out they talk me down and this is how I’ve gone from 13->15->18 in two years, hourly wise. The owners are currently buried in closing/renovating our first restaurant into an event venue, so I’ve basically just been figuring things out as I go.
And I feel like I’m constantly just fixing shit.
I have my weekly distributor orders/meetings, but beyond that I struggle to actually structure my week. It’s constantly employee issues, communication problems between departments, events, staffing, something somebody forgot, something that needs to be ordered, etc.
I also find myself shorting myself constantly to make sure my employees are taken care of and to keep labor where it needs to be. I can’t just cut half the staffs hours come the off season when we already lay off half the people so that I can make money. I can’t realistically cover the day server bartender and still meet with the people I need to meet with in the afternoons.
I just constantly feel that if I were to go anywhere with like 5,000 more people I’d be so clueless I’d have to just start over.
So I guess I’m looking for some perspective from people who have been doing this longer than me.
Is $18/hr completely insane for the scope of this job, or is this pretty normal for a hotel tourism spot semi upscale restaurant?
What would you even call this position? FOH manager? AGM? GM? Operations manager? Some weird combination?
My partner is a sous chef, and we’re talking about making a 2 year plan to eventually move somewhere with more opportunities for both of us. I just don’t want to spend the next two years being miserable and burned out at $18/hr without actually gaining the skills I’d need to move up.
I’d really appreciate advice from other managers who have been in this weird middle ground where you’re trusted with basically everything, but nobody is actually investing in YOUR growth and development. I feel like a big baby. :(

So I started at a new restaurant as a food runner. The job for the most part is really nice and I don’t mind a bit of hard work. However, after my first real shift, I was struggling to pick up the heavier items (this was after a 3-4 hour period.) my arms got really weak and sore. For reference we usually had a huge tray where sometimes 6-7 plates are stacked on it and have to walk down a staircase. I’m like 5’2 and 135 pounds wet. There was only two times I didn’t believe I could pick it up and safety get it to the server (since we deliver the food to the server). Anyways I felt bad about it and wished I could do more. My balance was also not great and food and kept slipping and it was usually always to the managers section. After all this I was thinking of strength training to get better at the job. I’m only working two days a week right now so I don’t think my body will really get used to the food running if I waited a few more weeks of work.

So it'll be my first time working FOH (I came from dish washing) as a food runner. Any advice? Nervous because you know how restaurants are. When you are new to the role and obviously you're going to be slow, people get upset at you.

The chef became so frazzled with all the orders he was getting aggressive with the kitchen help in front of the customers. The kitchen helper had to leave early for the day so both of them can cool off.

Now with this new place (2 months in), I'm already sensing the same vibe that the chef might lash out on me too. Especially since Im new to serving but I don't think Im that bad at it. Chef tried to pull me to serving the table when Im actively trying to take someone's takeout order too smh. I'm 1 person and I try my best to juggle everything ok.

I've previously left a cafe job due to the owner lashing out at me in front of customers. No matter what's happening, I just find it very unprofessional and distasteful to act that way in front of folks you want coming back to your establishment.

our restaurant is letting servers dress up for halloween as long as it’s appropriate. No butts and boobs out basically lol. Any ideas? I’m a short girl with medium dark hair and big ole pink glasses. I’m looking for something cute and affordable for last minute, not really looking to spend over $25-45 for this. i’m open to your suggestions!

edit: i really like all of these suggestions but before i made a final decision.. IF i were to do a cute clown what are some cute ways to decorate my apron (apron is not a requirement at my job either BUT i do not like going without it, im the kind of server that has a little bit of everything in my apron from pens and money to candy and toys)

I’m a high schooler who recently applied for a part-time hostess job at an IHOP near my house. They responded the same day I applied, and now I have an interview today!

I’m not really sure what to expect. I’ve only had two jobs before: one helping promote my mother’s business online and another working a summer job for my uncle, where I took customer orders at the register. Neither job required an interview, so I’ve never had to go through the process before.

With my experience, do I have a decent chance of getting hired? I’m also wondering what kinds of questions they might ask and how I should prepare. As for my availability, I can work Mondays, Thursdays, every other Wednesday, and Sundays.

Would that be enough availability for IHOP to consider hiring a high school student? I’d appreciate any advice!

Looking to move up from server position!

Thanks!

I’ve always wanted to be a server as all of my siblings have been in the restaurant industry for nearly 2 decades. My first restaurant job was at a neighborhood bar & grill (you can guess). I worked at two locations. I was a hostess at 17 and while it was a great way to get my feet wet in the restaurant industry, it was horrific. First one we were getting paid 11$ an hour plus tip out, which still didn’t amount to minimum wage in my state. The second location we made 13.00/hr plus tip out which was good.

We had many different tasks. Managing the front, bussing tables (many full tables as some servers would not bother to pre buss, often going to the hosts and demanding that their table be cleaned), clean the bathrooms and the toilets (mind you I had to clean up grown men’s puke & diarrhea off of the walls), and a bit more depending on how much help the restaurant needed. Often times the front would be swamped, causing hangry guests to tear into the 4’10 17 year old high school student, me, at the time.

First, as I mentioned, you deal with every guest that comes to the front. They will complain if you put them on a wait, or ask for accommodations that fuck with rotation. Second, the servers will be hard on you. Sort of understandable considering you control how many opportunities they have to make money and the stress, but it was exhausting. If I put guests on a wait, there would be servers or managers coming to me and telling me “Why are they waiting? seat them now!”, and when I did the kitchen would be flooded with tickets and then a server would come to me to complain. Restaurant is slow, or customers keep asking to sit at a booth? “Why aren’t you seating me?!”
Okay, I’ll seat you. Stink eye. “Why did you seat me?”
Oh and don’t even get me started on when a manager or server would come up to the host stand and fuck up the rotation the second I step away from the host stand, and then all of a sudden everyone is angry again.. at me.

It was a stressful position to put an inexperienced high school student in, between being yelled at by servers, management, or the guests. I did for a year and don’t regret it but holy fuck, no one was ever happy.

My managers would not let me be a server because they “didn’t think that I would be a good fit”, that’s fine, I was hired at a breakfast place as a server and wow. It’s shitty, I’ll be honest, and of course, you can guess which 24/7 breakfast place I’m talking about. Granted, I am working evening shifts and at a breakfast place and the checks are lower but it is turn and burn and I’d rather do this than to be a host. It is a little hard because there is no host during the evenings so on top of serving we seat guests, help with to-go orders, and fully bus our own tables. We do not have actual busboys either, while at the other place it was the hosts’ job to do all of that. I enjoy being able to take care of my tables and provide memorable experiences for them, and it makes me feel somewhat in control of my money if that makes sense. I would rather deal with a manager pestering me about upselling or sales or a table complaining about their food rather than deal with hundreds of hangry guests at the front every day. I will stay here and gain more experience to go to a better place as a server and if there is a god may he never let me be a host again.

Please be kind to your hosts! They play a critical role in the restaurant, a role that is often given to teenagers with little experience.
And no, they aren’t targeting you because they skipped you in the rotation after a guest requested a different table.

Today my coworker messed up two table orders, serving food to the wrong table. Thinking it was me who had done it, I got told off by two managers and the chefs. I’m a week into this job, completely new to serving. I generally do not make mistakes and I’m pretty friendly. These managers and chefs told me I have to smile more and always repeat back table numbers to confirm I have the correct one. I found this advice to be very condescending as these are things I’m already doing. I mean how hard can I fucking smile? I can’t exactly bare my teeth like a maniac especially when these coworkers are the grumpiest looking people I’ve seen anyway.

Later on in this shift, that same coworker told me off for not taking plates out the back (I was in the middle of clearing a table so was only carrying a tray), and said word for word, “you just do things and I can’t understand what you are thinking.”

This is such minor issues but I think this was my first genuine bad day at this new workplace that it sent me into tears for a good few minutes.

Just wanted to vent into this space, not particularly an important post. Just confused with life and navigating through a new role.

Have a job interview for serving there all I know is that they're owned by Hillstone but that seems to have a lot of negativity within itself so I'm not sure what to think.

If anyone is able to give any insight I'd appreciate it!

Hey everyone, I’m in a really tough spot right now and could use some honest advice from people in the industry.

About 2.5 years ago, I worked as an Assistant Server at a 5-star hotel in the Middle East. It was my first job abroad and my first time working daily in English, far away from home.

Eventually, the environment turned toxic and overwhelming. Since I had other remote options at the time, I decided to leave and have been working a remote office job from home ever since.

Honestly, during that time I barely took orders, struggled with wine/food recommendations, and made silly mistakes like mixing up tables or seat numbers.

Where I’m at now:

• A lot has changed, and for over a year now, my life at home and financial situation haven't been going well at all. I really need a fresh start and a way out.
• I decided to apply for overseas F&B jobs again. During the interview for a Specialty Waiter role, I exaggerated my experience. Frankly, I felt the interview went poorly—they asked for wine pairings/recommendations, and I completely bombed that part (food and wine knowledge has never been my strength). To my total surprise, they sent me the contract.

It’s been almost 3 years since I last worked on a restaurant floor or interacted directly with guests. They offered me a Specialty Waiter role, not a runner position, which implies high product knowledge, seamless service, and confidence that I know I currently lack.

BUT my mindset today is completely different. I am older, more mature, and genuinely willing to put in the hard work, study the menu, and learn with a completely different attitude. Plus, since it’s a new opening, there should be a training period.

I wouldn’t even be hesitating if I weren't in such a difficult personal situation right now—I really need this change. But I'm terrified that I won't be able to catch up in time or live up to what the role expects.

What would you do in my position?

Is it realistic to bridge this gap during pre-opening training if I put my head down and just try my best ? For anyone who started in a role above their actual skill level: how did you survive the first few weeks?

Thanks a lot for readining

I have a new front of house job. The building has an upstairs, a downstairs, an upper deck (outside) and a lower deck (outside). Upstairs fills up first usually and is 8 tables (5 for four people, 2 for 2 people, and 1 tor 8 people). But there might also be a few people outside on both the upper and lower decks. Yesterday it was just me on front of house with a full upstairs, 2 tables downstairs, 2 tables downstairs outside downstairs and 1 table upstairs outside. It felt like way too much. But I’m new to this and I don’t know if it’s just a me problem.

Btw, I’m responsible for greeting and sitting people, keeping an eye on if people are waiting outside, taking orders, taking payments (although we do this at the same time as taking the order), bringing drinks, answering any questions or bringing anything people want (e.g. more napkins), and clearing and cleaning tables once people are done. Some of the order tickets weren’t printing out in the kitchen so I was also responsible for checking this. And sometimes I bring orders out but it’s usually someone else.

has anyone ever covered a bartending shift? i’ve only ever ran a bar at my old job for an hour and the place mainly sold beer and very simple mixed drinks (just a shot and mixer). my current job is having me cover a whole bartending shift but i’m kinda nervous to say the least. i’d say we sell more beer than anything also but our drinks are a little more complicated here. does anyone have any advice for me?