r/Teachers • u/Opening-Pin-9248 • 1d ago
Teacher Support &/or Advice Parents
I’m a second year hs teacher. Please tell me why parents hate is so much? The county Facebook group is going nuts! I give my all (meaning picking up extra roles and working way behind my contract hours) to this job and they think we need to give more??!! wtf!!
Has it always been like this? How do you guys separate your feelings from this shit?
43
u/glad-mussla 1d ago
Stay off FB groups. They are full of miserable old people. (As opposed to reddit, which is full of miserable young people.)
Do not work beyond your contract hours. Be an amazing teacher for 40 hours a week. Do not work more than you get paid for. Show up. Do your job. Get paid. Go home.
Has it always been like this?
Yes.
How do you guys separate your feelings from this shit?
Easy. I couldn't possibly give a shit what someone outside my family or my boss thinks about me.
You can't care about what people think about you. Many people will dislike you no matter what your job is. Life is not about feeling liked and appreciated. It's about reading books, eating food, and making love.
10
u/HelloBookworms 1d ago
Facebook breeds nothing but hate. I’ve had parents that were nice to my face and then were nasty online indirectly talking about me specifically. They want what’s best for their kids which is all well and good, but their definition of what is best is often very misguided and uninformed. They aren’t the ones in the classroom. If they were they wouldn’t say the things they do.
5
u/CaptainRengrave 1d ago
So right! What the kid tells Mom about what happens in class is way too often very different than what actually happens. If only Mom could see how her precious perfect angel actually spends her class time!
11
7
u/Mysterious-Mind-1705 1d ago
I agree 100% to not work past contract hours. When I first started teaching I spent hours after school preparing for the next day and at home grading, checking/replying to messages, etc… 25 years in I look back and could kick myself. So much unpaid time that I could have spent with my family and taking care of myself. What did it get me? NOTHING! No extra pay, no climbing the ladder, just increased expectations. You can’t make most parents happy, so stop worrying about what they say and do.
1
5
u/DefiantRadish1492 1d ago
By their very nature, people don’t get on those Facebook groups to talk about the things that are going well, that they like, etc. Not only is it a place that people like to go just to complain, in general, it attracts the most miserable people you could ever possibly imagine.
6
u/AdDear962 18h ago
- Facebook is built and runs on nothing more than hate. Move away from the format.
- "Extra roles" and "working beyond contract hours" help no one, which is part of the reason it is not recognized by anyone, and all of the reason why it hurts you. Stop doing that.
- Making your daily life good for you makes you good for everyone. Do not sacrifice yourself or your comfort or time or health for any job. It's not good for you or for the job. And in this profession, you have a responsibility to your students to not over-extend yourself. When you give too much, you don't get the credit from anybody that you think you are earning. You only end up wearing yourself thin and not being able to do what you are educated and trained to do in your classroom for your students.
- Prioritize your students' learning outcomes above social media, extra roles, and unpaid overtime. Not one minute you spend on Facebook will ever improve your students' leaning outcomes. Ever. Quit that time and energy vampire today, at least for teacher-related things, just cut it off. Go on a fast for two weeks, whatever. "Quiet quit" every one of your "extra roles." Cut down on your over contract hours gradually, maybe set a limit after work a half-hour lower each day. But set a timer, and wind it down. It is a habit that has to be broken. You can break it in 30 - 60 days with strict observance. Walk away from unfinished work and go out, to the park, any random free show or performance or read a book outside your home.
- Get on with your personal life.
4
u/Novel-Passion-3639 1d ago
A lot of moms have nothing else going on. Others were just like your worst kids when they were in school.
5
u/No-Basket-1052 1d ago
OP, for your own well-being, please get off the FB pages and all work-related social media where parents can comment. It's toxic and you will learn nothing from it.
4
u/Just_meme01 5h ago
There will always be someone unhappy about something. Don’t read those posts and comments or just get off FB completely. I am 36 years in. I still do extra things but only things I enjoy doing. Don’t worry about what a few vocal parents are saying.
3
u/Critical-Bass7021 1d ago
WHY are you looking at the Facebook page!? Stay off of Facebook period, but if you have too much FOMO to do that, then at least get off that page.
Oh jeez that’s a horrible choice. You can avoid it easily. All you have to do is not look at it.
5
u/virtuousdeliverer 1d ago
You have to remember these people are a FRACTION of the parents of your students. They may not even have students who attend there, just random “community members”. I know it’s easy to hyper focus on the mean ones, but 90% you’ll never hear from or are amazing.
3
u/Critical-Bass7021 1d ago
In my experience, it’s at least a good 40-50% minimum are like this. That’s why the good ones are even better by contrast.
1
u/virtuousdeliverer 1d ago
I work in a pretty wealthy/conservative school and they can be pretty domineering but they also bring carts filled with supplies, give the best gifts, etc. Like last year my principal sent out an email saying she needed a golf cart, and she got TWO! It’s a weird duality.
2
u/Human-Obligation3621 16h ago
Just wanted to say as a parent that I truly appreciate the teachers who put in the after hours time to run the clubs and sports that help our kids become well rounded humans and give them opportunities to develop skills and learn who they are and who they want to be. I think you should be well compensated for this time that is obviously school related.
My daughter is currently doing speech and debate and cross country and her coach won’t let her skip any XC practices to go to debate meetings after school so the debate team teacher lets her come in early on Fridays to work with him personally. This is just… so kind. I have met this man ONE TIME and appreciate him so much for doing this for my daughter. And she’s really putting the work in because she sees him going above and beyond for her to enable her to participate. He could have easily brushed her off. Trying to think of something nice to do for this man who I barely know but I’m pretty sure he just wants me to pay it back by volunteering to judge the debate competitions 😆
1
u/Friendly_Aioli_5785 4h ago
As much a teacher wants the best for the students and I’m sure the teacher would appreciate your help judging, you should still do something like buy him a chocolate bar or a coffee gift card. Those little things go a big way. We do not get bonuses and while a coffee card or chocolate bar are not equal to a financial bonus, they feel good to get. ,
2
u/Purple_Current1089 9h ago
Stay off of Facebook. It’s toxic. If this job is gonna ruin your mental health then you gotta leave. I say this as a 29 year public elementary teacher. I’m retiring in July 2027.
2
1
u/Science_Teecha 18h ago
My town’s school committee bases some of their decisions, in part, on what the town’s FB page is saying. And that page is full of ignorant teacher-hating rubes. The SC will say things like “the town wants ___,” and when pressed further, they’ll say that’s where they got their information. It’s bananas.
1
78
u/KindParfait282 2nd Grade Teacher | CA 1d ago