I am a guy so I have no problem dating a bi girl. Girls though have told me they see bi as a negative thing because they don't want a member inside them that's been inside a guy's ass.
The above isn't my own opinion, but I've heard it several times
I never said it wasn't. And I agree with you. That reasoning is completely invalid cause not only is it invaded assumption but also who your partner was with before they met you shouldn't be much of your concern
As long as they’re not hiding an STD, is a nazi fucker or they used to fuck your dad there’s zero issue around whom or how many they’ve been with in the past, and if you think there is then you’re wrong.
I personally feel like you can have any number of criteria for your dream partner to fullfill and if being not bi is on that, you are free to not date someone as long as you don't misbehave with them for being bi
Mind you, I don't mind dating bi people. I'm half sure my girlfriend was/is bi. But i just think it's also okay if you don't wanna date someone due to it. Anything can be a deal breaker in a relationship for you and you are not answerable for it as long as you are respectful
Agreed. You not dating someone because they are bi, and the underlying reason for it are two different things. You are free to date and not date whoever you want. That's not homophobic. But the reason for it may or may not be homophobic. Maybe you don't like bisexuals (homophobic reason) or maybe you are just really insecure and think that your girl has twice the chance of cheating uz she likes both men and women (idiotic reason ik but not homophobic, the only one that came to my mind cuz plenty of people are insecure about their looks in comparison to their partner's)
In my opinion, it only depends on WHY they don't want to be with a person who is bisexual.
This is the MOST LIKELY reason as to why someone wouldn't wanna date a bisexual person:
Let's say a man got with a bisexual woman and in his mind it means she's far more likely to cheat or develop feelings for another individual because...?
??? Isn't it also as likely for a straight woman to cheat as is for a bisexual woman to cheat?
This pattern of thinking is rather a misunderstanding of how bisexuality works! Being bisexual does not equal to being more sexual/romantic than being straight, lol. This misconception is probably one of the main reasons when, for example, a girl bats an eye when she finds out a colleague of hers is lesbian - because she thinks it means being attracted to every/most girl a lesbian sees.
A lack of understanding it often stems from homophobia, so my final answer is yes. Most cases
I feel like you are twisting something. Most people have more same sex friends than those of the opposite sex. If you are constantly hanging out with a lot of people you have the potential to be attracted to you will be more likely to cheat.
I didn't say you can't. Just that the numbers are higher. People often have friends of the opposite sex but generally have more of the same sex. You would have a higher chance to fuck your friends if you had many with the potential of attraction. Although if you are going to cheat it's probably inevitable except if the relationship ends before that but in this case you might have more opportunities for it.
It's not like straight people are except from having attraction to their friends but just that they usually have less of friends they have the potential to be attracted to.
...or unless you're bi and trying to date. At which point having people who were interested say "ew" when you tell them you're bi starts to wear on you.
It is just discriminatory though, being bi changes literally nothing about someone's appearance or personality. For what reason would you decide not to date a bi person because they're bi, apart from discrimination
I see some small amount of reason it can happen. The human brain is really complicated, and it’s very possible that it’s just what their type is. Or they are just not attracted to people who are bi. It’s a real phenomenon, that while usually has some underlying subconscious dislike of bi people or some form of insecurity, can just happen naturally without those other reasons. And before anyone goes to hate on me, I’m bi, and everything I’ve said is just from a scientific perspective. Nothing else.
Is it because you're making assumptions about their ability to be faithful in a relationship? Because... you... think that having options on both sides of the fence makes them more likely to cheat?
Yeah, that's kind of a bigoted assumption alright.
Look at it this way: If somebody straight (or strictly gay) is going to be a cheater, there are MORE than enough opportunities for them to do that without crossing into bi territory. Cheaters gonna cheat. Good partners are gonna stay faithful (assuming that's an integral part of your relationship... swinger, poly, open, whatever, as long as you're all on the same page about it). Straight, bi, whatever.
If you don't trust your partner to be faithful no matter how many other potential partners are around, then... it doesn't matter what their overall orientation is. Unless they are already a known serial cheater, then YOU have a trust problem. And if you distrust them explicitly because they're bi? yeah, that's biphobic. 100%
[I clicked No-Religious without reading the question correctly. Go by the comment, please.]
I don't think there's a single religion ever that doesn't let you date people specifically because they're bisexual, nor is there even a religion where being bisexual alone is a sin.
"It's like not wanting to date someone of a specific race"
Race changes how someone looks, which does in fact change whether or not you would be attracted to them. Being bi literally doesn't change anything, so it would definitely be biphobic if you're attracted to someone but wouldn't date them because they're bi.
So, yes. these excuses don't make any sense. It would definitely be biphobic if you're attracted to someone but wouldn't date them because they're bi
Even then, not dating someone because they are a specific race and that being the only reason (implying you’re attracted to them) IS racist. Not dating someone because they’re bisexual IS biphobic.
Yeah, I guess so. I kinda just meant that race changes how someone looks and so it might make you unattracted to them, but bisexuality doesn't change appearance, behavior or anything like that
As a Catholic, date whoever you want (legally) but don’t refuse to date someone because of something they can’t control, like their race or their sexuality
As another Christian, completely agree on the sexuality part, not race though, race has to do with appearance. Some people are just attracted to different things, thats not something anyone can control
I don't really think that's a good way to decide tho... you can be attracted to specific things that people don't have control over. Doesn't make you a bad person
Usually I’d say yes. Race, gender, height, whatever are all things people Can’t control about themselves, and could very well have an effect on your attraction to them. But being bisexual? If they’re dating you, that literally changed nothing. It’s not a physical attraction thing that’s out of your control because bi people don’t look any physically different. It’s just deep rooted homophobia.
But doesn’t that contradict what u just said date whoever you want but don’t refuse to date someone. But dating whoever you want means u can choose to refuse people. Obv u shouldn’t be an asshole but if I’m not attracted to a certain race I’m not obligated to date that race. While ig u could say it is a bit close minded ppl are close minded abt all sorts of physical attributes piercings, long hair, short hair, blondes, gingers, etc.
I’m lesbian, I haven’t had great experiences dating bi women.
That being said i am comfortable with dating them but any red flags or clear male centrism and I’m out.
Every “situationship” I’ve had that ended badly was with a bi woman. To be fair to myself, there’s just not many lesbians where I live. If I could exclusively date lesbians maybe I’d consider it. It could still end badly but at least it wouldn’t be over a man.
Everyone needs to understand that someone might not date another person for a reason as small as their hair color, for example. If they look at someone, learn they're bi, and they feel like maybe they want someone who gives them the idea of "full femininity" or "full masculinity" then that might as well be their reason to not want to date them. I'm not saying it makes sense, but there's a theory called Implicit Inversion Theory, which is a cognitive stereotype that gay/bi men are psychologically and behaviorally more similar to a heterossexual women, and lesbians/bi are more similar to heterossexual men, and someone might hold these thoughts while not having absolutely anything against gay or bi people, it's just hard for them to ignore that thought and so they feel less attracted to them once finding out their orientation. I don't believe it's homophobic at all, but it is usually tied to a more traditional understanding of gender stereotype and it could be worked on if the person wishes to be less critical of other people
Yes, but also I don’t care that much. People are gonna do their thing, and as a Bi guy it’s not like I’m gonna run out of options anytime soon. I only find it annoying when people try to defend it, like no you just think gay people are gross
Its homophobic. Because how does it impact you at all? The only reason it appears as a problem is because you dont like people who are lgbtq....for that sole reason of that characteristic.
Okay, what about a bi person makes them any different to date than a straight person? Them being bi doesn't really impact you at all. Unless you're uncomfortable with the idea of them potentially having been in a gay relationship before?
Might be an unpopular take but I don't understand why is it a relevant discussion as dating someone is a deeply personal thing and depends greatly on what you find attractive and what not. It is no one else's business who you wanna date and who not and why as long as it is legal, healthy and consentual. Like if you don't want to date bi people then don't do it. The reasons themselves could be biphobic or not. preferences are complex things.
Me personally i would prefer someone who is a lesbian. Much of the judgement i have faced is around me not being attracted to men and, and i would prefer someone who understands that
As a Bi person no it’s a preference I would totally understand if someone wouldn’t date me because they don’t like imaging me with the opposite gender to them no matter whether the relationship is monogamous or not
When i say don’t like imagining I don’t mean in disgust or being detested since that actually would be homophobia I mean more uncomfortable like you said I also understand stand who someone would want a partner that’s just fully gay or fully straight it’s just preference at the end of the day
Personal preferences are yours and yours alone, you cant help who/what you are attracted to, thats just who you are. (not in the pedophilic sense, if yall thought that, what is wrong with you?)
The truth is that someone being bi should not impact your relationship because it literally has nothing to do with the current one unless you’re insecure that they’re cheating on you with someone of another gender….which is a stereotype and biphobic to think
Thinking bi people are more likely to cheat is so stupid.
"I like blondes but I also like brunettes" "What if you leave me for a brunette/cheat on me with one"
Your partner having the capability to be attracted to other people, regardless of gender, doesn't make them more or less likely to cheat on you, I have no idea where that assumption even comes from.
I mean, I don't have a perfence for gender at all and I'm monogamous as shit. If I'm upset enough in a relationship that I'd even CONSIDER cheating, which would never happen, I'd just break things off.
It is! And refusing to let ppl get away with it as a purely organic and neutral preference is not the same as saying “you should date bisexual men” you literally don’t have to date or be attracted to anyone you don’t want to, not a certain race, not a certain skin color, not a certain anything but not wanting to date ppl for those reasons isn’t purely organic or neutral in the slightest . Plus nobody has to know you don’t date bisexual men, that’s a preference you can always keep to yourself and embrace fully, it’s just not an innocent preference. And the main reason why anybody has such a knee jerk reaction whenever ppl say same thing I am is bcs they feel like their morals are being questioned in some philosophical way but having this preference does not make you a cartoonish villain, if anything it makes you a victim, someone who is the product of their environment :)
Gonna start off saying I’m a Catholic, incase that influences my viewpoints (which it probably does). I’ll also remind that the churches teaching on lgbtq+ is that it is against the Bible but we are to welcome them with open arms and treat them with the respect and dignity we treat anyone else and that all things can be forgiven. Anyhow, to get to my viewpoint, just feels kinda weird, I can’t really explain it.
As a bi person, I take no offense if people don’t want to date someone just because they are bi. It genuinely is just preference. As other people said, and I agree with, as long as you don’t hate them for being bi, I see no real issue, I see how some people might not like it.
As a bi person I take huge offense. Nothing about who I am as a person or how I behave in a relationship changes just because I'm bi so why is it such a big deal
And that’s fair aswell, offense can be different for different people, I just wouldn’t care if someone I was friends with didn’t want to date a bi person. To each their own, differences in offense are just like differences in religion or sexuality imo. No 2 people are the same
No. It's not. I think it a bit odd, but it's a preference. Like not wanting to date a trans person isn't transphobic and not wanting to date a person of a particular race isn't racist.
It doesn't but if someone feels like they won't get along with a person from a particular group in a relationship then it's fine. It's a preference. Personally, I don't think I'd ever want to be in a romantic relationship with a white person. I won't feel as comfortable
In a relationship. In a romantic relationship. Some people have interesting religious beliefs that they need to stick to, which I'm sure sounds like bullshit to you, but do you really think they would get along in a relationship? This isn't even my own preference, it's just an opinion
No, your preferences are are yours and their preferences are theirs. Don't let people manipulate you and don't manipulate people.
Edit: I got ahead of myself, are you afraid of them because they are bi or homosexual? Because if you're afraid of them that is phobia. If it's something that you're just not into, that's called a preference.
Everyone is allowed to have their own preferences. If ANYONE says different, it is to persuade you. You choose what and who you don't and do like. No one else.
No this is fucking stupid, not wanting to have a relationship with someone who is attracted to the same gender is absolutely fine its not even a question as to if its whatever phobic
If their goal isnt to harm or cause someone different to feel uncomfortable its not homophobic or transphobic or racist or whatever tf
I mean, not really? The definition of biphobia is the discrimination against someone for being bi. Having a dating preference is not discrimination. Otherwise, I would be homophobic for not wanting to take a 9” to the face.
Y'all forgot the definition of biphobic. As long as you're not discriminating against them it's genuinely not biphobic. It's like a cishet woman saying she wants to only date a cishet man. She could date a bi man, because a bi man can have the same relationship with a woman as a cis man, but the woman doesn't want to. That's not biphobic. That's just a preference
Why doesn’t she want to date the bi dude? Because he’s bi? Thats literally biphobic. (Btw you don’t have be taking action to be biphobic, you just have to be prejudiced)
If you don't think black people are attractive, that's an outward thing. If you don't want to date them, because they're black and you're prejudiced, then you are. This argument doesn't really apply to bi people, cause that's not rooted in appearance.
If someone's going to cheat on you, does it matter if its with a guy or a gal?
Why does it actually matter to you, anyway? You like girls, she likes guys, you both like each other, and you just give up when you find out she would have been open to dating a girl?
I feel like we ask this question a thousand times on this app just like the "is it transphobic to not date someone because they're trans/[minority race]?" questions. You're allowed to date or not date whoever you want, but if you like everything else about someone and the fact that they are bi is the dealbreaker, that implies you likely have biphobic views. Why else would that be a problem?
I believe that everyone is entitled to want to date whoever fills their cup of tea(legally of course), and if you don’t wanna date someone because they’re bi, it’s the same as not wanting to date someone because of their way of doing things or their political opinion, it’s a little shallow yes but at the end of the day we should all choose what we want
I believe that everyone is entitled to want to date whoever fills their cup of tea(legally of course), and if you don’t wanna date someone because they’re bi, it’s the same as not wanting to date someone because of their way of doing things or their political opinion, it’s a little shallow yes but at the end of the day we should all choose what we want
As someone who is bi, I’d be pretty saddened if a person liked me, thinking I was full on gay or straight, and then rejected me solely off the fact that I’m bi. Granted, that sounds kind of crazy, but still
You can date whoever you want, as long as you aren't treating them as less than if you don't want to date them. I probably wouldn't date a lesbian because I am not lesbian, but I would not treat them as less than. I think it is a matter of perspective and circumstance.
Depends on the reasoning. Usually people who are questioning their sexuality will "experiment" with being bi, and then decide if they are or not. I assume lots of people would want to avoid getting into a situation in which their partner might just decide they don't like them. It sucks for genuine bisexual people because they get grouped in with the questioning ones but unfortunately that's the way things work sometimes
Why would you choose someone based on whether someone's bi or not? I get it with gay people if you're not gay, but if you're straight, and you're going out with a bi person, its normal.
If a girl likes a guy its great .. its also fine if they like another girl... she is bi... but if a guy like a girl but likes dudes as well... he is fucking gay... he is gay as beans
I don’t understand what the diff would be, but I strongly believe that for EVERYTHING in terms of partners, if it doesn’t harm anyone and isn’t illegal, it’s fair enough. So if the only thing is that they won’t date someone, again, I don’t get it, but I wouldn’t call it being phobic
What kind of reasoning is that to refuse to date someone because they're bi? Oh so they like women too? Okay, but aren't you already dating me? Why would this even be an issue
I don't get why a lot of people think it's homophobic to have a preference. Preferences can come through due to past experiences or just unexplainable brain chemistry. Some people may be a bit insecure when it comes to relationships and don't want the subconscious thought of losing their partner to the opposite gender.
Homophobia is defined as "Hate, fear, or dislike of homosexuals", just because someone wouldn't date a bisexual doesn't mean they hate or dislike them, you can be neutral or even like them as a friend and not want to date them.
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