r/TheWordFuck • u/DistributionTasty507 Fuck â¨everything⨠• 3d ago
Fucking fuck Lacking fucking logic đ
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u/touchmeinbadplaces 3d ago
How else are they gonna fucking spy.on you?
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u/BloggerCurious 3d ago
I'm not fucking connecting any of my appliances to my WIFI
They must be out of their fucking mind
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u/rubenff 3d ago
Recently I bought a washing machine, a heat pump dryer and a new fridge/freezer, all from Samsung, I now get notifications on my phone for how long is left on the washing machine, same for the dryer and a report for the fridge/freezer temperatures and I get all excited thinking someone has shot me a text or something interesting when it's only the fucking fridge telling me it's fucking cold inside it! Smart fucking things indeed
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u/Emergency-Box-5719 3d ago
We're all fucked. The toasters are rising up to fucking take over the world. Fuck it, I'm getting piss drunk. Who's with me? But bring your own fucking booze, I'm not a fucking millionaire for fucks sake.
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u/2_Many_Hobbies74 3d ago
Fuck yeah, Iâm with you. Weâll drink until we fucking piss ourselves, then when the pieces of shit fucking toasters try to attack us, theyâll fucking short out from our pissy fucking pants. Fuck those fucking electronic bastardized offspring of college educated fuckers who are making way more than you and I com-fucking-bind, times 20. FUCK, now I really need a fucking beer.
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u/Emergency-Box-5719 3d ago
Fucking cheers brother. We fucking got this.
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u/Pretend-Internet-625 3d ago
And the fucking tv. Looked at one and the salesman started to fucking tell me all the stuff it does. I went into my fucking head and started playing in a gadda da vida song. After that the mother fucker was still talking.
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u/Emergency-Box-5719 3d ago
Probably could've played that fucker on constant loop. Outcast the fucking Energizer bunny. What the fuck.
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u/scribeforaliens 3d ago
It also doesn't need to take two and a half minutes to make fucken toast. I had an older toaster that did it in under 1:30 minutes. Loves that thing. I don't want to wait for toast in the time I can suck back a coffee.
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u/freyja2023 2d ago
And why do toasters have a fucking setting that the bread still comes out room temperature, and another fucking setting that the bread comes out as a piece of fucking charcoal! Like seriously, why the fuck does a toaster need settings like that!?
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u/G-reeper66 3d ago
Thank your lucky stars it's not the fucking talkie toaster from Red Dwarf! Available for all your toasted snack needs đ¤Łđ¤Ł
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u/Skromulator 3d ago
Fucking Samsung just had an issue fairly recently in which they pushed an update that caused a bunch of fucking smart fridges to stop working.
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u/YOUTUBEFREEKYOYO 3d ago
Toasters peaked in the fucking 1940s, just keep with that. I saw one that connected to your phone to let you know it was done. Just fucking stay in the room until it is done. Its 3-4 minutes. Just fucking wait
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u/what_me_nah 3d ago
Some fucking yuppy is staring out the window of his 15th floor luxury flat in canary wharf, every appliance smart as fuck, wondering why, despite his full compliment of expensive smart appliances, he still feels fucking empty inside.
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u/PYCapache 2d ago
You know what absolutely SHOULD be smart? People!
Why the fuck nobody thought about this?
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u/Tropicaldaze1950 3d ago
Fucking right! I've yet to see how a computer chip i a washing machine improves the ability to wash fucking clothes or the chip in the fridge makes things colder!
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u/EidolonRook 3d ago
The wealthy still have money, so there will always be someone who realized they need to come up with a reason to separate the wealthy from their money while providing a thing they could possibly want. Thats why so many stupid and over engineered things exist in the market.
At this point, itâs just fucking rhetorical to ask why stupid things exist to buy.
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u/Philly_Boy2172 Professional fucker 3d ago
Ain't that the fucking truth! A toaster just supposed to toast fucking bread. Period.
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u/Seth_Mithik 3d ago
If you love your toaster so much, why donât you marry itâmake it your wifi đŤŞđ¤Şđ¤Łđ đŽđłđ¤¨đ§đ§is that what theyâre doing?! Welp! My little thread will be the next big stand up joke a month from nowâŚmark itâNormand eâfuck
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u/SamTheMan004 3d ago
Fuck yeah. I don't need smart stuff. I just need stuff smart enough to do the job.
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u/OneLeggedLeggoMan 3d ago
When is the pendulum swing the other way. We've made almost everything smart. Now lets make some dumb things. Things that do one thing they are supposed to do. No touch screen. Just knobs and buttons. I hate fucking smart stuff.
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u/refreshing_username 3d ago
There are so many things that need to be zero percent fucking computer.
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u/MastaKink 3d ago
Progress means just that, progress. It doesnât mean find the best version then hold there for eternity. It means finding the best version and flying right past that with the new upgrade that will satisfy the stock holders. Fuck progress!!
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u/realrockandrolla 3d ago
How else can they fucking use your data for profit to feed the AI machine?
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u/Auntie_Venom ę§Fuckę§ 3d ago
I want a fucking smart washer and dryer! I NEED FUCKING NOTIFICATIONS on when itâs actually finished! I set a timer on my watch, and come back and it still has 10+ min left because it thinks there were too many suds. I use soap sparingly as directed for HE machines. Less is more⌠I set another timer, it may or may not be finished. Itâs a lot of time wasted going up and down two flights of stairs, luckily my knees are still in good shape for my age but fuck itâs annoying! I need to do a cleaning cycle and see if that helps, hubs notoriously fills the detergent cup to MAXâŚ
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u/G-Unit11111 3d ago
Fuckin' a!
I shouldn't have to use an app and a login to open my fucking garage door!
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u/HeidenShadows 3d ago
"Please wait while we update the firmware of your toaster... eta 30 to 45 minutes" FUCK!
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u/el_timtor126 3d ago
You want fucking Cylons? You put wi-fi in your fucking toasters, you get fucking Cylons.
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u/GearSlow3796 3d ago
We bought a new fucking gas range and it was nearly fucking IMPOSSIBLE to find a fucking âdumbâ one! All I wanted was 5 fucking working gas burners and a fucking ovenâno screen or bluetooth or any of that garbage. Ended up with only 1 fucking option and took it!
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u/Shellsallaround 3d ago
Fuck why not? I will toast one fucken slice of fucken bread. Then the fucken toaster will note I have not filled the fucken toaster slots, then fucken declare "YOU are out of fucken bread"
I will have to fucken order you some more bread! In 5
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u/OkInjury255 2d ago
I get how smart bulbs or plugs can be a game changer for someone with limited mobility, but a smart fridge and kettle? Fuck right off
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u/LikesPez 2d ago
But how would the fucking toaster notify you your bread is toasted? Canât we just fucking watch it instead?
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u/Rickapolis Never gonna give a fuck 2d ago
You donât want your fucking dishwasher to say, âCleanâ when the cycle is done? How else would you know?
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u/antlered-god 2d ago
I bought a new dishwasher a couple of years ago. It wanted me to connect it to my WiFi... Absolutely no chance. It's there to wash up, not browse the fucking internet....
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u/Sophiedenormandie 2d ago
How about that fucking Oprah toaster? Fucking $800.00 toaster. It has a fucking computer in it. Its a real fucking thing, look it up.
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u/BiggestBravestDave 2d ago
I think the fucking french are regretting having smart fucking fridges recently.
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u/Super_Tackle2703 2d ago
Calm down. Itâs just a toaster. Have something to eat. Youâll feel better. For fucks sake.
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u/RickRI401 2d ago
I only have one appliance in my house that is considered "smart". It's a washing machine, and I'm not giving Maytag a fucking subscription so that I can monitor the cycle.
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u/VikingMk88 2d ago
If you're looking for the reason these exist, look around you. Marketing is the fucking response, not the cause.
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u/Every_Association45 2d ago
The only fucking smart appliance I like is the washing machine. Notifications on the phone do not allow me to forget about the laundry in the machine for a week. And the freaking app helped me turn off Samsung singing at the end of every cycle.
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u/denkata07 2d ago
But wouldnt you want to toast it with your fuckin phone? After loading it with bread ofc.
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u/Secret_Place9199 2d ago
Oh my fucking god!!! HALLELUJAH! You are preaching to the fucking choir !!! I fucking canât stand it! The fucking refrigerator, oven, washer & fucking dryer!!? No fucking WiFi please!!
WHEW!!! I feel sooo fucking better!!
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u/Plus-Impress-6355 1d ago
They all have to be wi-fi so that the company that produces them can send the self destruct signal exactly one month after the fucking warranty runs out.
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u/jdmoffitt11775 1d ago
Speak for your fucking self, I like the idea of my refrigerator ordering me more beer and the smart vacuum reminding me that I need a fucking blow job.
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u/ForeignCup6977 1d ago
I will not buy your fucking "smart" appliance. I like my appliances dumb because I don't need the fucking terminator uprising to start in my kitchen.
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u/PretendYouAreSmiling 1d ago
No one complains. People keep buying, companies keep selling. I fucking hate that cycle but it explains most of this
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u/Mighty1Dragon 1d ago
i swear they are only adding wifi so they can give u adds later on and im not going to play this fucking game!
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u/AleksLevet The fuckin' creator of this fuckin' subreddit!!!! 3d ago
The problem is taht the non smart things have shit build quality and don't last long either... Wtf
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u/karolcha Never gonna fuck you up 2d ago
Oh man. After I got my divorce house, I (invested in) splurged on the Cuisinart push button toaster. Awhile in, there was an electrical storm, and fuck if my toaster didnât short out. I saw it spark. Now one side of one slot doesnât toast. Fuck.
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u/TheRealOGKeg My u/profanity counter thing is 69,338,132,763 2d ago
OmfgI know!! And different brands,different fucking apps and then you end up with so much extra stuff! And then the wifi goes out and you have to sync everything to the apps again
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u/pyroboy7 3d ago
If I ever need to buy appliances I avoid the 'smart' ones like the fucking plague.