Wondering Weekend

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[u/InvestigatorClear728]

On cycle 7 and waiting, but husbands SA came back abnormal on a few things. I don’t know what to feel at this point; I’m harboring some resentment and anger even though I know it’s not his fault. TTC has become the most stressful and traumatizing experience I’m just so upset and angry 😞

[u/Financial-Bus-7168]

Feeling a little confused after meeting with my doctor recently. We're on cycle 8, no success so far.

In earlier cycles, my husband and I were able to get two tries in during the fertile window. Over the course of the summer, we were lucky to get one try in the window. This is due to stress, how busy we are, and my husband working out in the heat all day.

While my doctor agreed to refer me to a fertility clinic, the overall message was that if my cycles are regular (they are), and I'm already using OPKs and BBT to confirm ovulation, then we should be able to easily hit the window multiple times. We simply aren't having enough sex to be successful.

Which, sure. In theory that makes sense, but we aren't robots. We're humans dealing with physical and mental limitations.

I thought we were doing pretty good, given all of our challenges over the summer. Mentally, I had aligned more with the whole "1x in the window maxes the odds"... not only because that makes sense (as the odds don't stack), but it also made me feel like what we were able to do was sufficient.

I guess both can be true? We're maxing our odds but also not having enough sex in the window?

[u/pattituesday → u/Financial-Bus-7168]

Yes, both things can be true, sort of. Yes, it’s true that once in the FW is usually good enough and more than once doesn’t increase odds a ton. But also many/most people aren’t tracking carefully and/or lots of doctors simply don’t trust at home methods to accurately pinpoint O day, so many docs give blanket advice along the lines of “have sex EOD” because then they can be absolutely sure you hit the fertile window whenever it occurred.

That said, at 38 I would not recommend trying much on your own without a full fertility workup and a thorough consultation with an RE. 8 cycles in you’ve certainly hit FW enough times to know it’s time to co adult with an expert.

[u/Financial-Bus-7168 → u/pattituesday]

Absolutely agree! I feel like we've put our time in, and at 38 I want testing and answers ASAP. Thank you for the response, I appreciate it.

[u/LoveSingRead → u/Financial-Bus-7168]

Without a factor like MFI, hitting one of the three days before ovulation maxes out your odds for that cycle, so I'd disagree that more sex is necessarily going to solve your problem. 

[u/Financial-Bus-7168 → u/LoveSingRead]

Thank you, that helps.

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[u/Wondering-Goose]

How many days after ovulating does your bbt rise? Mine seems to be taking 3-4 days...

[u/woozysocialist → u/Wondering-Goose]

How are you determining ovulation and how are you tracking temps?

And do you mean starting the rise, or reaching the new temp zone?

It varies person by person. I've heard wearables can have particularly delayed rises, but i personally find the rise starts the day after, but is incremental over 4 days

[u/Wondering-Goose → u/woozysocialist]

I track ovulation using LH strips to find my peak, then track bbt with thermometer first thing on waking up in the morning. This month my baby stayed pretty normal until 4 days post my peak

[u/woozysocialist → u/Wondering-Goose]

Some people have a delay before their bbt rises - it's not uncommon. Or it could be you have a slightly longer timeframe between your LH surge and ovulation, but if you map it out its only a days difference really

If day 1 was your LH surge, day 2 or 3 are your likely ovulation days. Day 4 the bbt rises.

[u/redacers]

What are the benefits of tracking BBT? Is it likely that you get an LH surge but no ovulation? As far as I understand, your BBT rise is correlated with a progesterone rise?
I’m lucky to have a fairly regular cycle and have done one 7DPO progesterone test which was fine, so I’m wondering whether there’s anything to learn from the BBT tracking - which I tried and didn’t enjoy.

[u/mopene → u/redacers]

Is it likely that you get an LH surge but no ovulation?

I guess it depends on the person. I've had periods where this happened a couple of times.... those cycles were noticably weird even without LH or BBT tracking, basically I would notice a pretty extended period of EWCM, like 5-7 days, then it would dry up but a week later, EWCM would start again for 5 days.... that's my body trying to ovulate, failing, then retrying a bit later. Those cycles ended up being 40-50 days long so, as you can see, there's other signs even without BBT.

I told my friend to try out BBT because she had one cycle of a clearly positive OPK and then her period was very late and she was very, very frustrated because she thought she was pregnant but it turned out it was more like an off cycle with late or no ovulation. I think if it happens to you even once while TTC, you'd probably prefer to have it tracked just so you know what's up.

But if you have a regular cycle and you're ok with a frustrating one-off, you're fine to go without BBT of course.

[u/redacers → u/mopene]

Thanks for sharing, I can imagine I’d also be very frustrated with off-cycles as you describe. It’s pretty embarrassing/funny how much I’m learning in my 30s about how the body works…

The trade off is between more knowledge and the reassurance that provides, vs the higher mental load of more tracking I suppose.

[u/Closed_System → u/redacers]

It is possible to not ovulate after an LH surge, but not super likely if you have regular cycles. I have regular cycles and have never found that I failed to ovulate after catching an LH rise, but I have had the opposite, where I ovulated despite not catching a positive OPK. So for me I just like to have the information. It doesn't necessarily help with timing intercourse but it's reassuring when I get that confirmation after the fact that we timed it well.

[u/redacers → u/Closed_System]

Thank you, that makes sense! I’m not sure if I’m misremembering having read this, but I thought that the only way to actually confirm ovulation was via ultrasounds; but perhaps detecting the hormonal shift is a good enough proxy if it’s very rare to have that shift without the release of an egg.

My sleep was too bad for tracking BBT with an oral thermometer so it made me more stressed in the end 🫠

[u/Closed_System → u/redacers]

The only way to pinpoint exactly when ovulation happens is with ultrasound! But BBT confirms that progesterone has risen and that ovulation occurred within a roughly 3 day window. It's very very reliable for that purpose if you're able to do it correctly (but some lifestyle factors make that more difficult for some than for others, as you have experienced!).

[u/redacers → u/Closed_System]

Thanks so much for clarifying!

[u/MyShipsNeverSail → u/redacers]

LH "predicts" ovulation and BBT confirms. Many track BBT for the data.

While everyone can have an off cycle with a failed ovulation and subsequent later ovulation, having them consistently in conditions like PCOS is really the issue so if you're having regular cycles and are fairly confident of ovulation, you needn't be pressured into tracking it.

[u/redacers → u/MyShipsNeverSail]

Thanks for taking the time to respond.

[u/Throwaway927338]

1) How do you get consistent with ovulation testing?

2) Do you use FMU or test at the same time each afternoon?

3) When in your cycle do you start testing it and logging it?

4) What brand do you use?

[u/MyShipsNeverSail → u/Throwaway927338]

1. I just do it. Maybe set alarms?
2. I usually test 1x midmorning and 1x after 6pm until my first positive.
3. This is individually dependent based on usual ovulation. I start about CD12/13 as I have been ovulating on CD16/17 but after my chemical, it's been delayed to CD28 and CD23.
4. Easy@home

[u/Throwaway927338 → u/MyShipsNeverSail]

Just need to go into next cycle with a plan because this cycle I tried but was so inconsistent with it that I just confused myself. Going to get in the habit of testing once each morning (best I got before life gets away from me) and once each evening after CD12 (been ovulating somewhere between CD18-CD21 so that should cover it.) Thank you!!

[u/iloveshinypokemn]

How do you “classify” your CM for noting in FF? Slightly pedantic but I thought to ask.

Of course, dry or EWCM or the days leading up to EWCM are the easiest to identify, but if it’s pasty, do you call it sticky or not?

Grateful for this thread and helpful people here!

[u/MyShipsNeverSail → u/iloveshinypokemn]

Idk if this will help you but unless it's clearly EWCM I don't log it 🤷🏼‍♀️

[u/Upstairs_Friend5804 → u/MyShipsNeverSail]

Same

[u/Throwaway927338 → u/MyShipsNeverSail]

Same, I only track fertile CM mostly because I can’t really identify otherwise.